“I Cried Myself To Sleep”: Woman Devastated By MIL’s Actions At Thanksgiving Dinner

Movies and TV shows joke about meddling in-laws, but the reality is that overbearing family members are a very real problem for many couples.

For Reddit user Embarrassed_Pea1036, the pressure was especially heavy during Thanksgiving, when she was expected to act like all was good and well even though she had just lost her pregnancy.

The woman and her husband tried their best but her mother-in-law didn’t. The lady revealed what had happened to the entire family after she was explicitly asked to keep it a secret.

Getting pregnant after multiple miscarriages can be a deeply emotional and vulnerable experience, especially when deciding how and when to share the news

Couple sitting on bed holding a pregnancy test, expressing emotions related to miscarriages.

Image credits: Gustavo Fring / Pexels (not the actual photo)

For this couple, the husband’s mother decided to invite the whole family into their personal lives

Text about Thanksgiving and miscarriages, expressing emotional distress and personal fears.

Text about pregnancy, excitement, and caution due to past miscarriages, revealing a plan to wait for the second trimester.

Text about MIL revealing miscarriages, private admission of pregnancy at a family dinner.

Text about a miscarriage experience and planning to discuss it with MIL around Thanksgiving.

Two women hugging warmly in a festive, softly lit room, evoking themes of family and forgiveness during Thanksgiving.

Image credits: Nicole Michalou / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text discussing family tensions arising from MIL sharing personal news about miscarriages.

Text recounting a MIL's reaction to hearing about miscarriages from another person.

Text message about MIL discussing miscarriages during Thanksgiving.

Woman upset at Thanksgiving dinner table with food and wine, highlighting family tension and emotional distress.

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text from an article discussing a woman’s Thanksgiving affected by MIL revealing her miscarriages.

Text about an emotional family incident involving a MIL and miscarriages during Thanksgiving.

Text about a family conflict over sharing details of miscarriages during Thanksgiving.

Two women sitting on a sofa. One is comforting the other. Glass of water on a glass table, plants in the background.

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text about a conflict and apology between a woman and her MIL, involving a difficult situation.

Text describing a family conflict during Thanksgiving over sharing miscarriage news.

Text discussing conflicts and miscarriages during Thanksgiving with MIL.

Text discussing conflict and emotions related to family and miscarriages during Thanksgiving.

Text about handling a situation with MIL and not apologizing during a visit.

Image credits: Embarrassed_Pea1036

Thanksgiving dinner table with turkey, side dishes, and candles.

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The holidays are supposed to be joyous occasions, but they can quickly become really stressful

According to a survey from last month, one in four Americans dread going to their-in-laws for the holidays. Nearly 10% even cry over the stress of spending the holidays with their partner’s parents.

Given all the anxiety and apprehension, nearly a quarter of Americans say that holiday plans lead to tension with their significant other. This causes 10 percent to opt out of attending a holiday gathering altogether and prompts more than a third to consider an at-home celebration.

It’s incredibly saddening that during such an already tense period, the woman’s painful personal loss was turned into a public spectacle.

It is estimated that around 10% to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, but the actual number is likely higher because many of them happen even before people realize they’re pregnant.

Studies also show that one month after women experience it:

nearly one in three (29%) have PTSD, compared to none with healthy pregnancies;
one in four (24%) have anxiety, compared to one in eight (13%) with healthy pregnancies;
and one in ten (11%) have depression, compared to one in fifty (2%) with healthy pregnancies.

At least the woman managed to stand her ground in the face of such a traumatic experience.

Sylvia L. Mikucki-Enyart, Ph.D., an associate professor of communication at the University of Iowa and senior research fellow at UI’s Public Policy Center, says that while rose-colored glasses and avoidance can be helpful, especially for behaviors or comments that are low stakes, this doesn’t mean you have to let bad behavior slide.

“You don’t have to deal with bad or toxic behavior because that’s ‘just how so-and-so is’ or ‘the way things have always been,'” she explains.

One strategy Mikucki-Enyart suggests is the three-strikes rule.

“First, let your in-law know that their behavior or comment isn’t acceptable, and you would appreciate it if they stopped. Then let them know your consequence, or what you intend to do if they continue, such as leave the event, ask them to leave, or not return to celebrate with them next year. Often, this is enough to nip the behavior or comment in the bud. However, if they do it a second time, remind them of your boundary and consequences. And, if for some reason, they do it a third time, follow through on the consequence.”

And it’s nice that the author of the post and her husband have each other’s backs too.

Most of those who read the story said its author didn’t owe her mother-in-law an apology

Reddit comments discussing emotional recovery after a miscarriage.

Text screenshot discussing miscarriages shared by MIL, causing holiday conflict.

Discussion about MIL's actions at Thanksgiving, addressing how the situation was handled.

Online commentary discussing MIL's actions and miscarriage disclosure during Thanksgiving.

Reddit comment exchange about managing family conflicts during Thanksgiving.

Reddit post discussion on MIL revealing miscarriages during Thanksgiving.

Text exchange discussing family conflict over privacy and miscarriages.

Reddit comment discussing MIL and Thanksgiving-related miscarriages, offering sympathy.

Text post discussing personal boundaries and family dynamics after a private medical issue was made public.

Comment on Thanksgiving conflict involving MIL and miscarriages.

Reddit comment discussing MIL's behavior and miscarriage revelation at Thanksgiving.

Reddit comment giving support after MIL disclosed miscarriages at Thanksgiving.

Text response about miscarriage support and boundaries with MIL.

Text screenshot discussing privacy and boundaries after MIL shared miscarriage information.

Reddit comment discussing a family conflict about miscarriages during Thanksgiving.

Text comment about MIL sharing private information at Thanksgiving, causing family drama.

Reddit comment discussing MIL's behavior and responses to personal disclosure about miscarriages.

Reddit comment discussing family conflict and standing up to a mother-in-law after Thanksgiving tensions.

Reddit comment criticizing MIL, discussing family conflict and offering condolences for miscarriages.

Some even said that she was being a jerk… to herself

Reddit comment discussing boundary setting after a mother-in-law incident related to miscarriages.

Reddit comment discussing a relationship conflict related to miscarriages and family dynamics.

Comment reacting to MIL sharing miscarriages, suggesting a strong response.

Reddit comment discussing relationships and family conflict during Thanksgiving.

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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What do you think ?

POST

Susie Elle 9 hours ago

MIL: How can I make this about me?

13points

Shannon Donnelly 23 minutes ago

Funny, because all I heard her saying was, "How dare you make this about anyone and anything BESIDES me?!?!" MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!!! All me, just me, only me. And I think this is the only time I've ever seen a husband try to protect his wife from his b***h of a mom, only for the wife to push him out of the way so MIL could abuse her more. I get being a people pleaser, but OP just jumped over the right into masochism. Unreal.

0points

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Jostanquecla 9 hours ago

Miscarriage is such a traumatic and sensitive topic. In my experience, having family behave insensitively or dismissively about it can permanently damage relationships in the family.

11points

Jumping Jellyfishes 3 hours ago (edited)

Unfortunately, well-intentioned people thinking they are consoling you and saying things to help you feel better, can AND will say the most awful things to those who have suffered a miscarriage without realizing it. I know, I've been there. They don't understand there's different layers of psychological devastation that you're going through. Even someone merely giving you a sympathetic look can set you off.

2points

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Debbie 9 hours ago

I am usually not a fan of the crowd that immediately shouts "GO NO CONTACT" but in this case - yes, no contact. So MIL can't see when you are drinking or not or gaining weight or other possiblie indications of pregnancy. I wonder if the SIL's / other people there reached out to them and told them what an AH MIL is.

8points

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POST

Susie Elle 9 hours ago

MIL: How can I make this about me?

13points

Shannon Donnelly 23 minutes ago

0points

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Jostanquecla 9 hours ago

Miscarriage is such a traumatic and sensitive topic. In my experience, having family behave insensitively or dismissively about it can permanently damage relationships in the family.

11points

Jumping Jellyfishes 3 hours ago (edited)

2points

Load More Replies...

Debbie 9 hours ago

8points

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“I Cried Myself To Sleep”: Woman Devastated By MIL’s Actions At Thanksgiving Dinner

Getting pregnant after multiple miscarriages can be a deeply emotional and vulnerable experience, especially when deciding how and when to share the news

For this couple, the husband’s mother decided to invite the whole family into their personal lives

The holidays are supposed to be joyous occasions, but they can quickly become really stressful

Most of those who read the story said its author didn’t owe her mother-in-law an apology

Some even said that she was being a jerk… to herself

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“I Cried Myself To Sleep”: Woman Devastated By MIL’s Actions At Thanksgiving Dinner

Getting pregnant after multiple miscarriages can be a deeply emotional and vulnerable experience, especially when deciding how and when to share the news

For this couple, the husband’s mother decided to invite the whole family into their personal lives

The holidays are supposed to be joyous occasions, but they can quickly become really stressful

Most of those who read the story said its author didn’t owe her mother-in-law an apology

Some even said that she was being a jerk… to herself

Poll Question

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