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“AITA For Telling My Husband He Shouldn’t Do Matching Ken/Barbie Costumes With His Female Coworker?”
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“AITA For Telling My Husband He Shouldn’t Do Matching Ken/Barbie Costumes With His Female Coworker?”

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We dedicate a huge portion of ourselves to work. And sometimes, for better or worse, it also spills out into our personal lives. In a post from Reddit user RelationshipOdd8524, we see the latter.

Last year, after Greta Gerwig’s movie Barbie came out, her husband and his female coworker decided to attend the office Halloween party as its main characters, Ken and Barbie.

Despite her confidence that nothing romantic is happening between them, the idea didn’t sit well with the woman. So she voiced her concerns to her partner, explaining that matching costumes might give off the wrong impression. However, his view of the situation was different, which only deepened her discomfort.

RELATED:

    Work life and family life often exist as two different worlds, but sometimes, they can overlap

    Image credits: Warner Bros (not the actual image)

    So when this woman found out her husband and his coworker planned to attend a work party as Barbie and Ken, it raised some red flags

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    Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual image)

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    Image credits: nansanh (not the actual image)

    Image credits: RelationshipOdd8524

    Most people have a work spouse, however, they need to be ready to “step back” if it becomes a threat to their actual relationship

    The term work spouse—including work wife and work husband—has become a common feature in many Western offices.

    Its true meaning can be a bit slippery, but in 2015, communications researchers M. Chad McBride and Karla Mason Bergen defined this “union” as “a special, platonic friendship with a … colleague characterized by a close emotional bond, high levels of disclosure and support, and mutual trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect.”

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    It involves a type of compatibility, lastingness, and exclusivity that are also found in real marriages, and while you might argue that these traits are also signs of good friendships, writer and former public policy researcher for Wisconsin Policy Forum Stephanie Murray argues that “when people hear the word friend, they don’t necessarily imagine this intensity—the word has been diluted in the age of Facebook, referring to any number of loose acquaintances.”

    But although wife and husband reliably connote intimacy and singularity, they also imply sex and romance. And while we don’t know if Ken and Barbie from the Reddit post are using these words to define their work relationship, the implication might be enough for the man’s wife to feel uncomfortable.

    Psychiatrist and associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School Dr. Jacqueline Olds says that “most people either currently have or have had a work spouse in the past.” According to her research, 65% of people report having or having had a work spouse.

    Interestingly, married people are more likely to report having or having had a work spouse than single people (67% vs. 59%).

    While it can work, she suggests that people who feel like the relationship is becoming a threat to their actual marriage or partnership, they have to be prepared to “step back” when things might get too personal. And, judging from the updates the author of the post made later, that’s exactly what happened in this case.

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    Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual image)

    As the post went viral, the woman joined the discussion in the comments

    Image credits: Tara Winstead (not the actual image)

    Later, she issued a few updates on the situation

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    Most of the people who reacted were on her side

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    But some thought she should’ve let it go

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Dominyka

    Dominyka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, crafting captivating visual content to enhance every reader's experience. Sometimes my mornings are spent diving into juicy dramas, while afternoons are all about adding extra laughs to the world by editing the funniest memes around. My favorite part of the job? Choosing the perfect images to illustrate articles. It's like imagining a story as a movie in my mind and selecting the key shots to tell the story visually.

    Read less »

    Dominyka

    Dominyka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, crafting captivating visual content to enhance every reader's experience. Sometimes my mornings are spent diving into juicy dramas, while afternoons are all about adding extra laughs to the world by editing the funniest memes around. My favorite part of the job? Choosing the perfect images to illustrate articles. It's like imagining a story as a movie in my mind and selecting the key shots to tell the story visually.

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    Ivona
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There should be no such thing as work-husband or work-wife. The matching costumes would've been inappropriate.

    Je souhaite
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Yeah well work spouses exist get over it, we spend a lot of time at work and get close to people in the process, and sometimes it's easier to talk to those people more than your own spouse

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    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. My dad divorced my mum (we were 5, 3 & 1 years old, btw) to marry his secretary, who he was having an affair with, & later married. Those YTAers who use 'insecure' etc, against the OP, can go f**k themselves.

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    Ivona
    Community Member
    2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There should be no such thing as work-husband or work-wife. The matching costumes would've been inappropriate.

    Je souhaite
    Community Member
    2 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Yeah well work spouses exist get over it, we spend a lot of time at work and get close to people in the process, and sometimes it's easier to talk to those people more than your own spouse

    Load More Replies...
    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. My dad divorced my mum (we were 5, 3 & 1 years old, btw) to marry his secretary, who he was having an affair with, & later married. Those YTAers who use 'insecure' etc, against the OP, can go f**k themselves.

    Load More Comments
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