how is the only grown up in this house 17?

NTA, sister committed theft, parents were given a choice of two options yet thought a third option of lying to the insurers was preferable? Isn't that insurance fraud the parents were wanting OP to commit?!? If the grandmother's name was on the title of the old car, she could have reported the theft herself, so that OP didn't have to, so the fact they demanded alternative recourse suggests that getting the older granddaughter in trouble with the police didn't sit well with them either. OP says that the sister had been eating c**p and fast food - no mention of drink/drugs - so it sounds like it was a genuine accident on the ice...had it been under the influence I would have said she should have strongly considered reporting it regardless. But if I was OP, I would invest in a second security camera in case sister gets in again and trashes the first one which she knows exists thanks to OP showing her the footage.

What a bunch of Âssholes to live with. I think I'd insist she gets a job to pay for the car or be turned in for stealing and wrecking it. It's absolute Horseshît that they still want to give a 29 year old an escape from any responsibility. All the adults suck except the 17 year old who had her car wrecked.

Lmfao. Everybody just ignores the one whose fault it was. I like how the older sister just avoids all responsibility in any of this and it's a fight between a literal child and parents because the almost 30-year-old made a decision and broke a bunch of s**t that isn't even hers.

Pretty sad when the 17 is the only reasonable adult in that house. Good that grandma got involved as well so she had some backup.

A long time ago someone I was dating stole my car after I went to bed. I worked 3rd shift at the time. He had come over with a friend asking if they could borrow my car after I had gotten home from work in the morning. I said no. Where they wanted to go they wouldn't be back in time for me to go to work that night. Then I went to bed. When I got up my car was gone. I called the cops. They told me that since I knew who it was that stole my car it wasn't theft. I told them I didn't SEE them take it, I just knew it had to be them cuz they had asked to borrow it earlier that day. They didn't have my permission to take the car so it was theft. The cops still said it wasnt theft and still did nothing about it. My car broke on the way back. They left the car on side of road and hitched back.The next day he went and had it towed back. Insurance wouldn't cover it without a police report either and the police would not make one. He at least paid for part of it and had a family member give me a ride back and forth to work.

Enabled behavior leads to worse behavior. What happens when the parents are no longer around to cover for their "failure" child?

Make the police report. Time for sister to have real world consequences. Don't listen to your parents. This enabling isn't helping her or anyone else. Do not go to them for advice on anything from now on and through the rest of your life. They are not trust worthy. Be prepared to go no contact with sis in the future. Once you are independent, she will try to mooch off you and use the kids as bait

Get another lock that looks like the one your parents bought. When you are the only one around replace your lock with the old one and keep both of the keys. If they try to unlock the new lock the old key won't work. You don't know why.

What an incredibly mature and healthy response you’ve had to this. You not only drve yourself toward more than just possible solutions, you inspire. Enjoy your coming independence.

Get a good lockbox and put your keys and valuables in it, I went through the same situation with alcoholic family members. Good Luck and get out ASAP..

How will she ever learn there are consequences for her actions if she never suffers the consequences for her actions? When your parents die, she's in for a very hard lesson. She needs to go to jail.

To the people who said the parents might punish the OP for reporting to the police that her sister stole her car, I don't think normal parents who know the sister is screwed up because of their terrible parenting will do that. It sounds like they are reasonable people who, although they don't want their screwed up kid to go to jail, still will respect their responsible kid's decision. That deadbolt showed up on OP's door pronto after she gave her parents the ultimatum, and even though that was in her parent's hopes of getting OP not too report her sister for stealing her car, I still think that the parents are aware enough of their fault for most of the sister's terrible behavior because she is screwed up because of their lack of good parenting, so they would not want to be crappy parents who would jeopardize their relationship with OP by being mean and punishing her for a situation they know is 95% their fault.

Outrageous behavior von the part of your sister and your parents. Make that police report. I wonder how your sister would react if you did this to her. Her daughters should be told EXACTLY why they're not going to DW.

NTA good riddance your leaving for school

Jail straightened out my brother who was just as bad, if not worse cause he used to beat on me. Mom felt he could always be forgiven. Now after A 5year stint in jail he is an average citizen and doesn't p**s most people off or at least doesn't break the law. He's settled down married with kids that turned out great. He even apologized to each of us for the s@#t he put us through. Send her to jail first chance you get. It might help. Give up on the parents ever doing anything different though. I don't talk to mine.

Dude, in my family, and where I'm from, we don't call cops. They are not there to help. If I was your sister, and you did that to me, it would be head or gut, grass or gravel.... everything, and ì mean everytime I'd see you, and I'd make sure it was atleast once a week. For the next 5 years. At the least. Minimum of 5 years...

Honestly I don't get why this doesn't go through the insurance? This is a sister who lives in the same house and borrowed a car without asking, she didn't steal it. Big sis can be punished but why should her actions impact everyone else? Sending big sis to Prison would be something to regret in the future.

Make her responsible! Tell her a word she probably doesn't hear NO! She'll either learn a lesson or get so pissed at you she won't want anything to do with you! A bonus! Someone also has to instill some responsibility in her and her children! Also pawning off your children for the grandparents to rain because her partner doesn't like kids? Very selfish? Time to grow up!

And this is why that young lady will most likely go NC with her parents and the rest of that insane household... and I wouldn't blame her. Thank goodness she has her G.Parent's support....

NTA....but one thing is missing. We heard of your involvement, your parents, nieces and grandparents. There is NOTHING about your sister and her being held accountable. Please tell me that there were some sort of repercussions!!!

If this was me, I would just out up ultimatum, either fix all the damage yourself, I don't care how, or I go to police this second. This sister sounds long overdue for bug lesson that everything has consequences. Family isn't just about doing what they want, sometimes you need to go against that just to tell them what they need to hear or do what needs to be done.

Should've pressed charges. And parents should've gone on vacay instead of enabling the older kid even more. The older sister needs to learn actions have consequences. Parents need to stop covering for her. They may have created the monster, but they could help by not enabling her bs. I mean, I'm sure there's more going on but gooooddaaaaaaamn

What a nightmare of enabling patterns! Whats unfortunate is your are slated to carry it onto the next generation unless you learn what responsibility means. It seems you are working on that but your dysfunctional family is forming you in their image. Forget about a stupid Disney trip for your graduation ( what are you 12?), focus on your future, get good grades, enroll in a college far away and start being around achievers and not failures. You sound pretty smart and yes reporting your sister would have been probably the first good thing anyone did for her. Its clear she needs an intervention and your parents do too. The sooner you are out of that dysfunctional nightmare the better for you. No, holding people accountable for their actions is what decent responsible do. Make sure you learn accountability from somewhere because they aren't teaching that at home or at grandparents house.

I would've just filed the damn report and leave it at that

(Cont'd from my comment to 'Seabeast' below.) So she got away with a lot of childish behavior, and my grandma also went along with it because there was nothing to do, as my mom would either sulk, ignore advice, or cry, so I was expected to just deal with it. Well, I had anxiety, social anxiety, and was on the autism spectrum in a time where children with these problems were either labeled as having been spoiled by their parents, or a hopeless case. So I couldn't "just deal". It screwed me up my whole life emotionally, and my relationship with my mom was not perfect, and especially with her extended family, who I could hardly stand because of their blatant favoritism towards my mom, as if she were my sister. They resented my unwillingness to give my mom a pass on her behavior, and none of it was ever resolved as they are all gone now, and my mom just passed in July of 2022. I wish it could have been different. I regret not being able to be the "sister" to my mom they expected me to be, even though it was a screwed up situation.

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Come on, enough of this BS BP!!!! Quit stealing reddit mediocre content....