Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
2.8K
Woman Sparks A Discussion On Twitter After Smacking A Guy At A Club For Touching Her
Interview With Author
Nobody should be surprised when somebody who’s being assaulted defends themselves. 21-year-old Harriet Bowley from Sheffield in the United Kingdom sparked an important debate on Twitter after sharing what happened at a club she was at last week. Harriet explained how she “smacked a lad” after he sexually assaulted her. The kicker? She said that he had the gall to look “genuinely furious and shocked.”
Harriet urged others to normalize women standing up for themselves when harassed by complete strangers. A lot of people stood up for her and some women shared their own stories about shutting down unwanted advances and groping. Unfortunately, there were also some Twitter users who resorted to victim-blaming and who thought that Harriet was (somehow) in the wrong here.
Have a read through the woman’s thread and let us know what you think about the situation, dear Readers. Do you have any similar experiences that you’d like to talk about? Do you have any ideas on how to prevent people from groping others in clubs? Share your thoughts in the comment section.
Bored Panda spoke to Harriet via Twitter about what happened and why some people tend to blame the victims. “I’m glad it’s started a conversation and encouraged other women and men to talk about their own experiences when they might’ve not felt like they had a voice before,” she told me. Read on for the full interview below, dear Pandas.
More info: Twitter | Instagram
RELATED:
Harriet shared how she stood up for herself at a club after a stranger sexually assaulted her
Image credits: harribowley
She started up an important discussion about the importance of normalizing women defending themselves
Image credits: harribowley
Image credits: harribowley
Image credits: harribowley
Image credits: harribowley
Harriet noted that we should focus on what matters—fighting harassment and assault—instead of blaming the victims. “I think victim-blaming is a huge problem that still needs tackling. The argument ‘what were you wearing’ is very outdated, but, unfortunately, is still used today,” she said.
“Even though I specified I was wearing a large baggy jumper around my waist, I’ve still seen a couple of those comments. Everyone should understand that clothes do not equal consent—the men making these comments don’t stop themselves wearing shorts or being topless on a hot day out of fear they will be sexually assaulted, so why should women be conscious of their own clothes? The problem is not what victims wear—it’s about the people sexually assaulting.”
Harriet’s Twitter thread went viral and got 24.1k likes and nearly 2k retweets. She even pointed out that she was wearing a massive sweater around her waist and wasn’t wearing anything ‘revealing,’ but that didn’t stop some victim-blamers from having a go at her. Meanwhile, some other Twitter users didn’t get the point of the thread and tried to find a way to make her into the villain of the story.
Instead of showing support, some Twitter users started victim-blaming Harriet
Image credits: harribowley
Image credits: harribowley
Something that can help victims of assault and harassment rebuild their sense of safety is community. That’s what Emily May, the Executive Director at ‘Hollaback!’, an organization that aims to end harassment in all its forms, told Bored Panda during a previous interview.
“Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc.,” she noted that the more people you can trust, the safer you’re bound to feel.
“The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community.”
According to May from ‘Hollaback!’, harassment can happen anywhere. In the street, at your local supermarket, on social media. And, yes, at clubs, too.
“At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups of our vulnerability to assault in public spaces. Street harassment can happen to anyone, but disproportionately punishes women, girls, LGBTQ+ people, and other marginalized groups for being themselves in the world,” she said.
Meanwhile, others shared what steps they took to protect themselves from harassers and gropers
Image credits: doodlebeth
Image credits: isleofewe1
Image credits: RachelBull10
Image credits: Morganifesto
Image credits: BrookeLeak2
Image credits: jedl__
Image credits: AlfieSharky
Image credits: vellichords
Image credits: RyanHug92755074
Image credits: safronprice
Image credits: TerraKotter
Image credits: kellymclean74
Image credits: RyanRains2
Image credits: Ms_Deathwish
Image credits: Seniore13Gaming
Image credits: PaulaDollar1
Image credits: Girlw0ndr
Image credits: LilyZach22
People thought that the guy in the club definitely deserved to get smacked for his actions
Image credits: CraigOddie
Image credits: GeorgiaLiving90
Image credits: quigley_mick
Image credits: itsendeavour
What do you think ?
Biljana Malesevic 3 years ago
I don't even need to read all this. Whatever she was wearing, believe me, she was NOT "asking for it". Some men will try any, any excuse to grope woman or sexually assault her, their favorite excuse is "she was wearing revealing clothes" which is BS! As someone who was assaulted as a child because I had some curves, which is just the way I was growing into puberty, I honestly and truly think there is no excuse for assault, ever! I don't care what she was wearing, you don't touch. Period.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Just imagine someone walks past you in a dress covered in diamonds and gold, you grab a handful of each and when the person complains that those are THEIR diamonds and gold and you are stealing, you reply "you asked for it by wearing all those diamonds and gold".
Load More Replies...
CatWoman312 3 years ago
I honestly don’t understand why it’s so hard to grasp that you don’t go around touching strangers without consent. No she isn’t asking for it 🤦🏻♀️
denzoren 3 years ago
100points for standing up for yourself! -100points to him for being the type of man no one wants around. I've never understood this behavior from these guys, it's so disgusting. Hit back...call them out on their crap...us guys need to call them out on their behavior too. It isn't right. Women need to feel comfortable when men are around not constantly afraid.
Birgit M 3 years ago
Not a „Same here“ today, but (another) „Thank you!“ It‘s always so good to hear from supportive men!
Load More Replies... Biljana Malesevic 3 years ago
I don't even need to read all this. Whatever she was wearing, believe me, she was NOT "asking for it". Some men will try any, any excuse to grope woman or sexually assault her, their favorite excuse is "she was wearing revealing clothes" which is BS! As someone who was assaulted as a child because I had some curves, which is just the way I was growing into puberty, I honestly and truly think there is no excuse for assault, ever! I don't care what she was wearing, you don't touch. Period.
Martha Meyer 3 years ago
Just imagine someone walks past you in a dress covered in diamonds and gold, you grab a handful of each and when the person complains that those are THEIR diamonds and gold and you are stealing, you reply "you asked for it by wearing all those diamonds and gold".
Load More Replies... CatWoman312 3 years ago
I honestly don’t understand why it’s so hard to grasp that you don’t go around touching strangers without consent. No she isn’t asking for it 🤦🏻♀️
denzoren 3 years ago
100points for standing up for yourself! -100points to him for being the type of man no one wants around. I've never understood this behavior from these guys, it's so disgusting. Hit back...call them out on their crap...us guys need to call them out on their behavior too. It isn't right. Women need to feel comfortable when men are around not constantly afraid.
Birgit M 3 years ago
Not a „Same here“ today, but (another) „Thank you!“ It‘s always so good to hear from supportive men!
Load More Replies...
Related on Bored Panda
136
116