We all know it’s an unspoken rule to steer clear of your friend’s crush. But what if that crush is a celebrity, and your friend is happily married? Surely that makes things a little different, right?

That’s what one woman on Reddit thought when she crossed paths with her friend’s “hall pass.” They ended up having a spontaneous fling, and she casually shared the story, assuming it wouldn’t be a big deal. But to her surprise, her friend was left heartbroken. Scroll down to see how it all unfolded.

By chance, the woman crossed paths with her friend’s celebrity crush

Image credits: Mental Health America (MHA) / pexels (not the actual photo)

They ended up having a fling, which broke her friend’s heart when she found out

Image credits: Ryan Holloway / pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Jackie—Daytona—

Image credits: Felipe Cespedes / pexels (not the actual photo)

The phenomenon of celebrity crushes

If you’ve never fantasized about a celebrity, my question to you is: how? But if you have, just like the woman in the Reddit story, and think that you’re weird for it, don’t worry, because you’re not alone.

About 80% of people have these imaginary bonds with media figures, says Dr. Rebecca Tukachinsky Forster, an associate professor in the School of Communication at Chapman University. For years, she’s been studying how we form parasocial relationships with celebrities, influencers, or even fictional characters.

“It’s this feeling of intimacy, of knowing that media personality,” Tukachinsky Forster explains. “Maybe it’s a news anchor or a host of a television show that you see every day or once a week. And it can be a fictional character—someone that, by virtue of being exposed to them over and over and hearing about their self-disclosure, about their personal lives, you become friends with, or develop other types of relationships with them that are one-sided.”

They’re imaginary, but they can feel just as real to the person experiencing them, she adds.

What’s fascinating is that the concept of celebrity crushes is far from new. When writing her first book, Tukachinsky Forster discovered that the earliest examples of this phenomenon date back to ancient Rome, where women were infatuated with rhetoricians and theater actors.

Image credits: Austin Neill / unsplash (not the actual photo)

That said, the way we approach parasocial relationships today has evolved. Celebrities can now engage with their audiences more personally through social media, replying to comments, and hosting live video sessions. But that doesn’t mean these connections are stronger than before. It’s like telling a Beatles fan from the 1960s they weren’t as devoted as you are to Harry Styles because they didn’t follow them on Instagram. “It was just as real and potent, but expressed in a different way,” Tukachinsky Forster points out.

Unfortunately, though, celebrity crushes are often seen as strange or unusual. Tukachinsky Forster, however, debunks this myth.

“Overall, these are normal and productive and good for you,” she says. “For people with healthy psychological profiles, it’s OK.”

Celebrity crushes can be particularly significant during transitional periods. For many women going through life changes, these crushes provide a way to reconnect with their identity and sexuality outside of roles such as mom and wife. For adolescents, they offer a safe space to explore romantic feelings, and even those early disappointments—like when a celebrity crush announces their real-life wedding—help prepare them for the real-world heartaches to come.

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Contrary to what some might think, there’s no evidence that having an intense celebrity crush indicates loneliness. “What we do see is that those who are more prone to forming friendships and relating to others in social life are also more likely to engage in parasocial relationships,” Tukachinsky Forster says.

Moreover, these crushes aren’t linked to stalker behavior or criminal activity. “It’s people with mental health conditions that manifest in extreme celebrity stalking,” she clarifies. “The crush didn’t make the person dangerous. It is a dangerous person that had a crush.”

Commenters tried to guess the identity of the mysterious celebrity

A few users raised questions about the whole situation

Others believed the woman wasn’t to blame, pointing out that her friend was married and never intended to pursue anything real with the musician

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Some, however, felt the woman was in the wrong for bragging to her friend about what happened

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The woman later posted an update, revealing that two people had figured out who the celebrity was

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