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85
Woman Almost Dies As Husband Ignores Her Medical Emergency, She’s Ready To Leave
Interview
While it may sound like a cliché, it’s very much true that trust is the foundation of any long-lasting relationship. Without it, one can never really know if their significant other will be there for them, even if they promised to have and to hold them in sickness and in health.
For this redditor it was her husband who showed her that she could not trust him the way she thought she could. After waking up feeling terrible one morning, she asked him to come home from work as soon as possible, but instead, he took his time and even lied to his wife during the difficult moment.
Scroll down to find the full story in her own words below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with the OP herself, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.
RELATED:
When things get rough, it’s important for partners to be able to lean on each other
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / envato (not the actual photo)
This woman’s husband failed to be there for her when she needed it the most
Image credits: magalie_trowaway
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envato (not the actual photo)
According to a nearly unanimous opinion, trust is the main component of a successful relationship
Trust is one of the key elements of a happy and healthy relationship. As a matter of fact, for most people, it is the key element, according to a very recent YouGov survey. It found that for as much as 94% of Americans trust is the key to a successful relationship, followed by honesty (92%) and respect (91%).
Unfortunately, after what the OP went through with her husband—or more like, without him—she realizes that she can not trust her partner. To make matters worse, honesty seemed to be always lacking in the relationship as he lied to his wife, while she was facing severe health issues.
“What upset me the most was the fact that he lied instead of just admitting that he didn’t come to help me. I could have understood if he had a reason or a constraint, but the lie really shook my trust in him. This could have killed me,” the woman told Bored Panda in a recent interview.
The OP continued to share that in the past, her husband has hidden small things from her, but nothing as significant as this. “He has lied before about what time he would be home or neglected to mention that he was working overtime, but never about something this important. [I] didn’t know he was able to do that.”
The situation with her husband was a turning point for the woman
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Despite sometimes being broken in a matter of minutes, trust can take a while to be established; it’s usually a long process, which, according to clinical psychologist Dr. Forrest Talley, requires effort and consistency. Talking about how trust transforms relationships on Psychology Today, Dr. Talley pointed to five strategies that help create trust in a relationship: being reliable and consistent, communicating openly, showing empathy, being honest, and seeking and extending forgiveness.
“The strongest bonds between friends, lovers, family, and society more generally are all formed on the foundation of trust,” Dr. Talley wrote. However, for the OP, the foundation was most likely shattered irreparably. In the comments under her post, a netizen suggested asking herself what if it was their child in need of help, waiting helplessly for the OP’s husband to come, and that seemingly helped her see things more clearly.
“This situation was a turning point for me,” she told Bored Panda. “It made me realize that I can’t stay in a relationship where trust is broken like this. I’ve decided that I want a divorce.”
The woman shared that since opening up about her story, she has been focusing on moving forward and prioritizing her well-being. “It’s a difficult process, but I know it’s the right decision for me,” she said.
Fellow netizens shared their thoughts in the comments, the OP replied to some of them
The woman shared an update on how the story unraveled
People in the comments didn’t hold back their opinions on the husband
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What do you think ?
Lunar Rat 9 months ago
A few years ago, my sister phoned me one evening and asked me to take her to hospital. It wasn't life threatening, but she asked. I abandoned my just started dinner, picked her up and took her to the hospital. It turned out to be nothing but I wouldn't hesitate to do it again because that's what you do for the people you care about.
Binky Melnik 9 months ago
I’m awfully lucky in that I’ve never been involved with anyone who wasn’t like you, who drops everything to be there, but reading this story breaks my heart and also makes me terrified that I could still potentially meet someone like this. We assume our SOs are our other halves and that they prioritize use just as much as they do themselves, and I suuure don’t wanna meet and fall in love with someone who *isn't* that way. It never crossed my mind that some people behave this way until reading this post. I can’t even imagine the fear and disappointment. I’m sooo relieved she was able to read what people said, use logic, and get herself away from this sub-human, selfish аsshole. Poor thing, 🥵
Load More Replies...
The Big Bad 9 months ago
I was never sick. And I remember one time when I did get sick and was shivering from fever and my partner told me to "not be so dramatic". Let's just say a few years later he got the old car and I got the house. When our son had to go to the ER I called him immediately of course. He told me to "call him again when it was sure he would get surgery." These people don't change.
Amelia Jade 9 months ago
Jfc. Last year my 24 year old daughter had what was probably heat stroke. We're still not sure--long story. I and one of her brothers took her to the ER. They stabilized her. I called my husband--he works 2.5 hours away. I was calling him to loop him in but since we were in the ER and she seemed okayish now, I wasn't expecting him to leave work. He rushed to town in record time and immediately came to the ER. It wasn't just because he was worried about her--he definitely was--but he was worried about me. Did I need a break from the ER? He was worried about our son--did he want to leave and go home for a bit. It's about taking care of one another during a difficult time. Meanwhile, her other brother--the one that didn't go with us--was constantly texting for updates. I'm always floored when families seem to have no concern for one another.
Load More Replies... Mark Childers 9 months ago
Unreal how some people can completely disregard someone they supposedly love.
WonderWoman 9 months ago
He lied and had zero intention of ever showing up and then he has the balls to not be humble and doesn't believe he was in the wrong. There is no coming back from that. And I would be terrified every time he had the child.
Load More Replies... 
Motivated sloth 9 months ago
An ex tried to minimize a health condition I have. There’s no coming back from breaking that trust. My mom was chronically ill and had A LOT of surgeries over her lifetime. My dad was always there. Even when he didn’t think it was that serious, no way was he taking a chance he was wrong. This man did not care about that woman and certainly didn’t love her.
Socks Thecate 9 months ago
The idea of any partnership is that you support each other and make each other stronger. To do what this partner did to his spouse invalidates the unwritten contract.
WonderWoman 9 months ago
For the LIES -this POS lied to her about coming home when he was sitting at work. For that alone - pack your freaking bags and don't let the door hit you on your way out! D.I.V.O.R.C.E. ASAP
Anxious Tamago 9 months ago
My best friend got lied like this and asked to be taken to the hospital for unaliving watch, the "husband" who didn't even register the papers ignored her. She had to call the parents that haven't spoke for years. He didn't even apologise after 2 weeks of her at the hospital.
Ben Aziza 9 months ago (edited)
S uicide watch. Your friend deserves that much respect no? As to not infantilize such a serious event. Censorship can go F itself. I dont know why BP is indulging in such a vile practice...
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 9 months ago
Anybody surprised th a**h*** hubs has a Tinder account? Yeah, didn't think so.
MP Deco 9 months ago
i have been married for 55yrs...we have worked together for 52 of them. i found a lump in my neck in may and never said anything til nov...we smoked at the time and while having a break i told him about the lump..he couldnt believe he never noticed it..he got up,walked into the clients house and said " pat is ill and i am taking her to the dr." long story short..it was thyroid cancer and after 2 surgeries & radiation i have been clean for 27yrs....point is( sorry) he has ALWAYS put me 1st and still waits on me hand & foot!...he is the love of my life and i am sooo lucky to have him...thanks for letting me natter on...yes ladies , there ARE wonderful men out there- please dont put up with azzholes!
Heather Menard 9 months ago
Also if any woman is asking to go to the hospital. Bring them. We can take a lot of pain so if we are asking something is wrong.
Mike F 9 months ago
This isn't the US I'm guessing. The terminology and the French and English responses make it seem like Canadian.
Load More Replies...
Mad McQueen 9 months ago
As long as she has a paper trail an evidence of neglect it should be easy enough to get a divorce and some money for the child care. It sucks but he just dgaf about her or his kid or anything but looking for other women or being a bro. At least she found out. Because if I called my husband about an emergency and he didn’t drop and run to me I’d figure he didn’t care either
Kristen Woehlke 9 months ago
Ex was in the army and moved me to Ft.Hood, Texas. My appendix perforated and he was in Afghanistan. They can get in touch with him through the red cross. Doctors did get in touch with him. Didn't talk to me. I was so sick! Didn't come home, didn't ask about me. 2 weeks after I got home, he calls. No "hi, how are you...". No, I got " are you paying the bills?". Then he comes home !months later and leaves me for his battle buddy... You want to leave this, for that ugly hairy backed b***h?!?
Kate Johnson 9 months ago
She should do everything covertly so he just comes home one day and she's gone, leaving the divorce paper's behind. No muss, no fuss, just done and dusted.
Seadog 9 months ago
I'm not sure I could've ever counted on my first wife to drop everything and come running if needed. I doubt she would've although she certainly expected others to drop and run for her even for just regular doctor visits. My current wife though will and has. The one time she was called because I was pretty much unable to do anything, she told the boss she was leaving that I was sick and walked out.
person (i think) 9 months ago
My friends husband essentially did the same thing and she almost died of a kidney infection :(
Heather Menard 9 months ago
I wouldn't look for a apartment I would kick his a*s out. You are established in your home with your daughter he is not. Tell him to go live with one of his other women.
Kathrin Pukowsky 9 months ago
Again with the utterly useless lies! Of course lies are barely ever a good thing, even when told with good intentions, but usually I can at least comprehend why somebody chooses to lie. What was the point of the lies here? For a hot second I thought he had poisoned OP and was stalling his return/her getting help to make sure he found her dead, but according to doctors she was just sick. Does he hate her so much he wanted to prolong her suffering? Does he get off on lying to her? There was no way he was going to get away with it, so why bother? I don't understand the motivation here.
Sue Ellen Bowen 9 months ago
I would have told him to be gone before I got home from the hospital.
Apatheist Account2 9 months ago
Nice to read a story where the boomer was the good person for a change...Some people can be like this, though: my father "just wanted to carry on as normal" when my mother was in bed with cancer. Either he subconsciously felt that if he didn't see it, it wasn't happening; or he felt powerless to help; or he'd just been brought up that way during the war. It didn't mean he loved her any less, it was just how he reacted. One would hope younger people have more empathy these days.
Grape Walls of Ire 9 months ago
Here comes the unpopular POV, but it is possible that he will learn from this experience. Ok, now throw me to the jackals.
Agat 9 months ago
Naaah, it's always good to analyze a situation thoroughly, taking into consideration all possible outcomes. I don't think he'll learn from this because for that to be possible, he would first need to be aware of how badly this situation could have ended. There's no guilt in the way he acts (she says he wasn't apologetic, and has been acting as if nothing had happened) which isn't a good prognostic. Overall, I guess I don't think he will change. I wouldn't wait to find out if I were in OP's shoes, especially after being lied to and dismissed like this.
Load More Replies...
Lunar Rat 9 months ago
A few years ago, my sister phoned me one evening and asked me to take her to hospital. It wasn't life threatening, but she asked. I abandoned my just started dinner, picked her up and took her to the hospital. It turned out to be nothing but I wouldn't hesitate to do it again because that's what you do for the people you care about.
Binky Melnik 9 months ago
I’m awfully lucky in that I’ve never been involved with anyone who wasn’t like you, who drops everything to be there, but reading this story breaks my heart and also makes me terrified that I could still potentially meet someone like this. We assume our SOs are our other halves and that they prioritize use just as much as they do themselves, and I suuure don’t wanna meet and fall in love with someone who *isn't* that way. It never crossed my mind that some people behave this way until reading this post. I can’t even imagine the fear and disappointment. I’m sooo relieved she was able to read what people said, use logic, and get herself away from this sub-human, selfish аsshole. Poor thing, 🥵
Load More Replies... The Big Bad 9 months ago
I was never sick. And I remember one time when I did get sick and was shivering from fever and my partner told me to "not be so dramatic". Let's just say a few years later he got the old car and I got the house. When our son had to go to the ER I called him immediately of course. He told me to "call him again when it was sure he would get surgery." These people don't change.
Amelia Jade 9 months ago
Jfc. Last year my 24 year old daughter had what was probably heat stroke. We're still not sure--long story. I and one of her brothers took her to the ER. They stabilized her. I called my husband--he works 2.5 hours away. I was calling him to loop him in but since we were in the ER and she seemed okayish now, I wasn't expecting him to leave work. He rushed to town in record time and immediately came to the ER. It wasn't just because he was worried about her--he definitely was--but he was worried about me. Did I need a break from the ER? He was worried about our son--did he want to leave and go home for a bit. It's about taking care of one another during a difficult time. Meanwhile, her other brother--the one that didn't go with us--was constantly texting for updates. I'm always floored when families seem to have no concern for one another.
Load More Replies... Mark Childers 9 months ago
Unreal how some people can completely disregard someone they supposedly love.
WonderWoman 9 months ago
He lied and had zero intention of ever showing up and then he has the balls to not be humble and doesn't believe he was in the wrong. There is no coming back from that. And I would be terrified every time he had the child.
Load More Replies... Motivated sloth 9 months ago
An ex tried to minimize a health condition I have. There’s no coming back from breaking that trust. My mom was chronically ill and had A LOT of surgeries over her lifetime. My dad was always there. Even when he didn’t think it was that serious, no way was he taking a chance he was wrong. This man did not care about that woman and certainly didn’t love her.
Socks Thecate 9 months ago
The idea of any partnership is that you support each other and make each other stronger. To do what this partner did to his spouse invalidates the unwritten contract.
WonderWoman 9 months ago
For the LIES -this POS lied to her about coming home when he was sitting at work. For that alone - pack your freaking bags and don't let the door hit you on your way out! D.I.V.O.R.C.E. ASAP
Anxious Tamago 9 months ago
My best friend got lied like this and asked to be taken to the hospital for unaliving watch, the "husband" who didn't even register the papers ignored her. She had to call the parents that haven't spoke for years. He didn't even apologise after 2 weeks of her at the hospital.
Ben Aziza 9 months ago (edited)
S uicide watch. Your friend deserves that much respect no? As to not infantilize such a serious event. Censorship can go F itself. I dont know why BP is indulging in such a vile practice...
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 9 months ago
Anybody surprised th a**h*** hubs has a Tinder account? Yeah, didn't think so.
MP Deco 9 months ago
i have been married for 55yrs...we have worked together for 52 of them. i found a lump in my neck in may and never said anything til nov...we smoked at the time and while having a break i told him about the lump..he couldnt believe he never noticed it..he got up,walked into the clients house and said " pat is ill and i am taking her to the dr." long story short..it was thyroid cancer and after 2 surgeries & radiation i have been clean for 27yrs....point is( sorry) he has ALWAYS put me 1st and still waits on me hand & foot!...he is the love of my life and i am sooo lucky to have him...thanks for letting me natter on...yes ladies , there ARE wonderful men out there- please dont put up with azzholes!
Heather Menard 9 months ago
Also if any woman is asking to go to the hospital. Bring them. We can take a lot of pain so if we are asking something is wrong.
Mike F 9 months ago
This isn't the US I'm guessing. The terminology and the French and English responses make it seem like Canadian.
Load More Replies... Mad McQueen 9 months ago
As long as she has a paper trail an evidence of neglect it should be easy enough to get a divorce and some money for the child care. It sucks but he just dgaf about her or his kid or anything but looking for other women or being a bro. At least she found out. Because if I called my husband about an emergency and he didn’t drop and run to me I’d figure he didn’t care either
Kristen Woehlke 9 months ago
Ex was in the army and moved me to Ft.Hood, Texas. My appendix perforated and he was in Afghanistan. They can get in touch with him through the red cross. Doctors did get in touch with him. Didn't talk to me. I was so sick! Didn't come home, didn't ask about me. 2 weeks after I got home, he calls. No "hi, how are you...". No, I got " are you paying the bills?". Then he comes home !months later and leaves me for his battle buddy... You want to leave this, for that ugly hairy backed b***h?!?
Kate Johnson 9 months ago
She should do everything covertly so he just comes home one day and she's gone, leaving the divorce paper's behind. No muss, no fuss, just done and dusted.
Seadog 9 months ago
I'm not sure I could've ever counted on my first wife to drop everything and come running if needed. I doubt she would've although she certainly expected others to drop and run for her even for just regular doctor visits. My current wife though will and has. The one time she was called because I was pretty much unable to do anything, she told the boss she was leaving that I was sick and walked out.
person (i think) 9 months ago
My friends husband essentially did the same thing and she almost died of a kidney infection :(
Heather Menard 9 months ago
I wouldn't look for a apartment I would kick his a*s out. You are established in your home with your daughter he is not. Tell him to go live with one of his other women.
Kathrin Pukowsky 9 months ago
Again with the utterly useless lies! Of course lies are barely ever a good thing, even when told with good intentions, but usually I can at least comprehend why somebody chooses to lie. What was the point of the lies here? For a hot second I thought he had poisoned OP and was stalling his return/her getting help to make sure he found her dead, but according to doctors she was just sick. Does he hate her so much he wanted to prolong her suffering? Does he get off on lying to her? There was no way he was going to get away with it, so why bother? I don't understand the motivation here.
Sue Ellen Bowen 9 months ago
I would have told him to be gone before I got home from the hospital.
Apatheist Account2 9 months ago
Nice to read a story where the boomer was the good person for a change...Some people can be like this, though: my father "just wanted to carry on as normal" when my mother was in bed with cancer. Either he subconsciously felt that if he didn't see it, it wasn't happening; or he felt powerless to help; or he'd just been brought up that way during the war. It didn't mean he loved her any less, it was just how he reacted. One would hope younger people have more empathy these days.
Grape Walls of Ire 9 months ago
Here comes the unpopular POV, but it is possible that he will learn from this experience. Ok, now throw me to the jackals.
Agat 9 months ago
Naaah, it's always good to analyze a situation thoroughly, taking into consideration all possible outcomes. I don't think he'll learn from this because for that to be possible, he would first need to be aware of how badly this situation could have ended. There's no guilt in the way he acts (she says he wasn't apologetic, and has been acting as if nothing had happened) which isn't a good prognostic. Overall, I guess I don't think he will change. I wouldn't wait to find out if I were in OP's shoes, especially after being lied to and dismissed like this.
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