Is gallantry dead? A woman has made it her mission to ensure that she receives first-class princess treatment whenever she’s invited on a first date.

Pearl Botts, from Los Angeles, disclosed her clever approach when men suggest splitting the bill while out dining, a strategy that hasn’t garnered unanimous approval from everyone.

Maryanne Parker, an etiquette expert, has further shared with Bored Panda her take on the traditional unwritten rule that states that men should always foot the bill when they first encounter a woman for a romantic dinner.

Pearl Botts shared how she instantly friend-zones men who ask to split the bill on first dates

Image Credits: pearlbotts

Image Credits: pearlbotts

The singer has admitted to strongly embracing the concept of “feminine energy” and has tended to favor scenarios where men are at ease with their traditional role as providers.

Taking to her Instagram page followed by 10,000 people, Pearl revealed in a video that she has employed a specific phrase whenever a first date took an unfavorable turn, and this tactic has consistently proven effective for her.

According to Pearl, a woman paying for her own meal is “disrespectful and emasculating to the man”

Image Credits: pearlbotts

Image Credits: pearlbotts

You can take a look at her video below

@pearlbotts would u do this? #datingadvice #datingtips #datingmindset ♬ IT GIRL – Sped up Version – Aliyah’s Interlude

She explained: “When a man wants to go 50/50 with you on a date, say: ‘Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed right now. 

“‘Wait, you wanted to just be friends? I’m so confused – this whole entire time I thought this was a date. 

“‘I’m so sorry – here’s my card.’”

“It has nothing to do with my own capability to provide and protect for myself”

Image Credits: pearlbotts

Image Credits: pearlbotts

Pearl, who frequently also uploads videos on her TikTok page followed by 11,800 thousand people, emphasized the importance of conveying to men that if she were to split the bill, she wouldn’t be satisfied with pursuing a relationship.

She prefers using her straightforward phrase to establish expectations during the initial date, where there’s little at risk. 

“‘Wait, you wanted to just be friends?” Pearl would say on dates where men want to split the bill

Image Credits: pearlbotts

When you let a man pay, she says, “you’re making space and giving room for him to step into his divine masculinity”

@pearlbotts Replying to @Kelly Lingus i find this disrespectful to the man #divinemasculnineenergy #feminineenergy #datingadvice #datingtips ♬ original sound – Pearl Botts

Several men and women supported the influencer’s approach, asserting that it’s prudent to establish your expectations right from the beginning.

A person commented: “The next move is that [Pearl] pays her half and never sees him again.

“She’s not looking for a 50/50 relationship and that’s fine. She’s sending a message loud and clear.”

A woman questioned: “I don’t understand why guys can’t pay for the whole bill? 

“Why would you ask a woman on a date if you’re not going to pay? Who raised you?”

Others disagreed as a person wrote: “The person who invited out on a date should pay.”

A man commented: “Yeh no, if a girl ever pulled this on me I’d split the bill and never see her again. 

“None of that toxic sh*t I want bringing into a relationship.”

The singer’s video sparked different reactions as some said her response was toxic

Image Credits: pearlbotts

Maryanne Parker, an etiquette expert who is the Vice President and Chief Protocol Officer of the California Branch of the Royal Society of St. George, told Bored Panda that according to traditional standards, the person who initiates the date should be prepared to pay the bill, including the tip. 

“However, in many cultures when a man invites a woman on a date, he covers the entire bill,” Maryanna explained.

She continued: “It is up to the woman to present herself in a classy and elegant way without being greedy and needy, if she wants to be invited back.

“However, in some situations, the woman can definitely offer to pay half of the bill. And the man can refuse or agree to accept it. 

“Either way, if the first date is over coffee, and the man initiated the date, let him pay. 

“If the first date is over lobster, the woman can suggest to split the bill and it is up to the man to accept it or not.”

The etiquette coach revealed that she personally prefers a man who handles the initial responsibility and takes care of the bill, especially if he was the one who initiated the date.

Pearl’s method ignited divided replies

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