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54
Woman Discovers Narcissistic Husband’s Lies And Manipulations When Her Parents’ Will Comes Up
Interview With AuthorInheritances can get tricky in blended families. Surveys show that 40% of parents in blended families have differing views on how to pass on their wealth. When different generations come into the picture, the situation gets even more complicated.
This woman thought it was unfair her stepdaughter would be getting an inheritance from her parents. Especially since she already was set to inherit a considerable amount from her biological grandparents. So, she voiced her concerns, which caused quite a rift between her and her husband. A rift that had some serious consequences in the end.
Bored Panda was able to get in touch with the author, u/Conscious_Tension491. She kindly agreed to give us the final major update, the culmination of all the family drama. Read the not-so-happy ending below!
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Upon finding out her parents included her stepdaughter in their will, this woman asked them to reconsider
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Since the stepdaughter would have enough inheritance from her biological grandparents, she didn’t think this would be wrong
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual image)
Image credits: freepik (not the atual image)
Image credits: Alexander Mils (not the actual image)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: engin akyurt (not the actual image)
The author later posted an update and some interesting details about the husband came to light
Image credits: Drazen Zigic (not the actual image)
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual image)
Image credits: Conscious_Tension491
In the very final update, the author detailed why she decided to leave her husband
Just after Bored Panda reached out to the author u/Conscious_Tension491 for comment, she posted another update. She began it with the words “I will be divorcing my husband.” Turns out, the husband wasn’t completely honest with her.
When she and the kids went to visit the author’s brother, the husband arranged a post-Halloween party for the stepdaughter’s mother to host without her knowledge. “He said he was just going to work around the house and relax. He assumed that I would be with them the whole time,” the OP explained.
When the woman drove home to confront him, she found him, the stepdaughter, and her mother all sitting around the table like a family. When the two were finally alone, after some attempts at gaslighting, the husband said something that shook the OP to the core.
“I asked him if he even wanted to be married. He said ‘Yes.’ But that his priority is his daughter—who is now in college,” the OP wrote. “I asked what that had to do with her mom and having parties in the home we share—especially now that she is a legal adult. He said that he will ‘Always love her as the mother of his child.'”
This convinced the author to go for divorce. When she told her children, they weren’t surprised. “They’ve been feeling some type of way towards him for a while and felt they couldn’t tell me because they knew how important marriage was to me.”
The woman also got some texts from the stepdaughter’s mother. This also led her to believe that there still might be feelings between her husband and his ex. “[She said] that I was jealous that she had picked a good man who she conceived a baby with love with—a direct jab at the circumstances under which I had my kids (their dad is an addict and not in the picture). She said I’d never have what they have.”
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual image)
After all the drama, the grandparents will probably be enjoying the inheritance money themselves while they can
After finding out about the divorce, the woman’s parents withdrew any plans to include the step-granddaughter in their will. Apparently, they’ve decided to enjoy their money now. “They want to move to my paternal grandparents’ home country where we have some extended family,” the OP wrote. “Moving will save them a lot of money as the COL is much lower and he can buy land since he is a dual citizen.”
The author also still keeps in touch with her former FIL. “He’s sorry for the circumstances but glad I stood up for myself,” she says. “He told me he will help me in any way he can to make my transition easier. I said the best he can do for me is still be my friend.”
For now, she and the kids are living in a rented three-bedroom apartment and even adopted a cat. “Something we all wanted but put off because ex hates them,” she added. She’s glad she never listened to her ex-husband and didn’t become a housewife. “If I had, I wouldn’t have been able to leave as quickly as I did.”
When we asked u/Conscious_Tension491 how she’s healing from this drama and what her plans for the future are, she still has no definite answer. “I’m seeing my therapist. The marriage counselor we were supposed to see together has also offered to help during this time.”
“I’m also working on family therapy for my kids and I,” she adds. “I don’t really know what else to do from there for now. I want to try to keep things for my kids as easy as possible since it’s their senior year.”
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
The author received mixed reactions: some suggested she let the grandparents do what they want, while others pressed that this wasn’t normal
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What do you think ?
Panda-sized Potato 1 year ago
That was a wild story, but at least it ended on a good note. Husband, MIL, and ex are all PoS. Husband worst of all. Not only does he not advocate for OP and her kids, he's been sneaking around behind her back with ex. And ex had the gall to be an entitled, stuck-up b*tch about it to boot. I'm glad she's divorcing that human garbage. The only downside is losing FIL, so I hope they do stay friends. Glad they finally got the cat they wanted because he hated cats, which adds to his character.
Kate Johnson 1 year ago
Husband was obviously a low character loser and she and her children are better off without him.
Brandie Litchfield 1 year ago (edited)
Husband, stepdaughter, and her mother are all clearly the AH here, I feel sorry for op and her kids. It's not easy to be a step mother, especially to an older child who of course resents their step parent and clearly showed zero interest in being part of the new blended family, no matter how much effort op made. Clearly husband has been maintained two separate families this entire time, sounds as if he's been cheating honestly. He is pos and op is lucky that this situation arose so that she could see him for who he was and how he was sabotaging their marriage behind her back, thers nothing she could have done differently to change the outcome as he was clearly invested in keeping two separate families and not blending their family. While I am all for sharing holidays together as coparents for the sake of children, whenever it can be done peacefully however not everyone is capable, of such maturity or honesty. There are too many baby mama's who will feel entitled to interfere
Brandie Litchfield 1 year ago
(Continued) it isn't normal for adults who are in committed relationships to have sleepovers with their exes, as that easily leads to unhealthy enmeshment and blurred boundaries. Visits and holidays at each other's houses, sure, but sleepovers, hell no....many coparents can be mature enough to accept their children's new stepparent and stepsiblings, to work together as a team for the sake of the children, but that takes a lot of honesty, transparency, trust, and maturity. That would be ideal, as children need as many people in their lives to love and accept them as possible, but realistically, there are too many immature drama queens that are not mature enough to leave their ego out of the situation and put the kids first. Op must feel very betrayed and heartbroken, she hadn't suspected anything, until husband inserted his manipulative, entitled ego to get as much as he selfishly could for his own kid, and his stepkids were clearly never a consideration to him. He wanted inheritance
Load More Replies...
StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago (edited)
First of all, she already had a therapist? Is that a normal thing in the USA? & a Marriage Councillor? Not surprised that it ended in divorce, especially when it was said that the ex stayed at his ex-wife's house whenever the OP went to visit her relatives. Maaan. Maybe that's why she already had a therapist, as she instinctively felt vulnerable? And then he admitted still loving his ex-wife - I wonder who divorced who?? The OP's better off out of it. I actually understand why she did what she did - and maybe there was something niggling her subconsciously, too, re: the ex. It would only be pocket change compared to what his daughter would get from her grandparents, as the only 'heir'. NTA. Plus he was a complete hypocrite.
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
„Person of integrity, which is a real gem“? Really? I am not one to think everything on the internet is fake. On the contrary, I am quite gullible. But this sounds too made up. Even if my FIL said that to me, I wouldn‘t put it on the internet to a: recognise me and b: praise myself
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
FIL is almost 90 years old. That means he was born in the 1930s and grew up in the 1940s. Older people didn't grow up speaking in memes and internet slang.
Load More Replies...
K. LNU 1 year ago (edited)
The (ex) husband seems to fully embrace "what is yours, is mine. What is mine is mine." He shouldn't have complained about his DD being left out if he (and his mother) have no intention of also giving to OP's kids. And once again, the YTA seems to be a bit unhinged. Maybe projecting?
Charlie Haase 11 months ago
Are his parents going to include your kids in their will? Yeah, I didn't think so. NTA
Panda-sized Potato 1 year ago
That was a wild story, but at least it ended on a good note. Husband, MIL, and ex are all PoS. Husband worst of all. Not only does he not advocate for OP and her kids, he's been sneaking around behind her back with ex. And ex had the gall to be an entitled, stuck-up b*tch about it to boot. I'm glad she's divorcing that human garbage. The only downside is losing FIL, so I hope they do stay friends. Glad they finally got the cat they wanted because he hated cats, which adds to his character.
Kate Johnson 1 year ago
Husband was obviously a low character loser and she and her children are better off without him.
Brandie Litchfield 1 year ago (edited)
Husband, stepdaughter, and her mother are all clearly the AH here, I feel sorry for op and her kids. It's not easy to be a step mother, especially to an older child who of course resents their step parent and clearly showed zero interest in being part of the new blended family, no matter how much effort op made. Clearly husband has been maintained two separate families this entire time, sounds as if he's been cheating honestly. He is pos and op is lucky that this situation arose so that she could see him for who he was and how he was sabotaging their marriage behind her back, thers nothing she could have done differently to change the outcome as he was clearly invested in keeping two separate families and not blending their family. While I am all for sharing holidays together as coparents for the sake of children, whenever it can be done peacefully however not everyone is capable, of such maturity or honesty. There are too many baby mama's who will feel entitled to interfere
Brandie Litchfield 1 year ago
(Continued) it isn't normal for adults who are in committed relationships to have sleepovers with their exes, as that easily leads to unhealthy enmeshment and blurred boundaries. Visits and holidays at each other's houses, sure, but sleepovers, hell no....many coparents can be mature enough to accept their children's new stepparent and stepsiblings, to work together as a team for the sake of the children, but that takes a lot of honesty, transparency, trust, and maturity. That would be ideal, as children need as many people in their lives to love and accept them as possible, but realistically, there are too many immature drama queens that are not mature enough to leave their ego out of the situation and put the kids first. Op must feel very betrayed and heartbroken, she hadn't suspected anything, until husband inserted his manipulative, entitled ego to get as much as he selfishly could for his own kid, and his stepkids were clearly never a consideration to him. He wanted inheritance
Load More Replies... StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago (edited)
First of all, she already had a therapist? Is that a normal thing in the USA? & a Marriage Councillor? Not surprised that it ended in divorce, especially when it was said that the ex stayed at his ex-wife's house whenever the OP went to visit her relatives. Maaan. Maybe that's why she already had a therapist, as she instinctively felt vulnerable? And then he admitted still loving his ex-wife - I wonder who divorced who?? The OP's better off out of it. I actually understand why she did what she did - and maybe there was something niggling her subconsciously, too, re: the ex. It would only be pocket change compared to what his daughter would get from her grandparents, as the only 'heir'. NTA. Plus he was a complete hypocrite.
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
„Person of integrity, which is a real gem“? Really? I am not one to think everything on the internet is fake. On the contrary, I am quite gullible. But this sounds too made up. Even if my FIL said that to me, I wouldn‘t put it on the internet to a: recognise me and b: praise myself
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
FIL is almost 90 years old. That means he was born in the 1930s and grew up in the 1940s. Older people didn't grow up speaking in memes and internet slang.
Load More Replies... K. LNU 1 year ago (edited)
The (ex) husband seems to fully embrace "what is yours, is mine. What is mine is mine." He shouldn't have complained about his DD being left out if he (and his mother) have no intention of also giving to OP's kids. And once again, the YTA seems to be a bit unhinged. Maybe projecting?
Charlie Haase 11 months ago
Are his parents going to include your kids in their will? Yeah, I didn't think so. NTA
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