She thinks a holiday will be relaxing with a baby around? LOL she's delusional. She's better off leaving both the kids at home if she really wants a relaxing holiday all that much...

I couldn’t get past “..my special year with my baby”. 🙄

She really thinks spending a holiday taking care of a 3 month old is going to be a fun and relaxing holiday?? Not to mention, if her partner "works a lot", he's not going to want to spend it taking care of the baby and talking to her, he's going to want to just relax and enjoy himself.

You married a man with a child. She is now part of your family. It sounds like your husband actually wants to include his daughter. It's not just about what you want.

omg people need to stop having kids like yesterday.

My mom had three kids from her first marriage when she met my father, I'm one of the three children she had with my dad. At no point of my childhood was there any distinction made between the kids. In fact, I didn't know that the older kids were my half-siblings until I was about 10. I can't imagine growing up otherwise.

You are literally trying to squeeze your step-daughter out of her dad's life, so you can make your own perfect family of three. This makes you a total a*****e. Your husband should love both his children equally, as they are equally his children. It is natural for her to be upset and jealous - from her perspective, she is being replaced in his life. This is a time when it is important to consider her feelings and make sure she isn't being shut out. It's going to set the tone of her relationship with her brother, and with you. Your husband needs to put her needs equal to your son's, and ahead of your desire to exclude her. If between the three parents, you can't afford to include your stepdaughter in the holiday, don't go.

Stepdaughter here! I have half-siblings on both sides. For most of my childhood, my mother put thoughts in my head that my stepmom didn't see me as part of the family, that my dad was trying to replace me with his new kid (until she herself got pregnant and I started asking the same about her LOL), that my half-sister wanted to push me out of the family, and that she herself was the only one who loved me... So I acted defensively towards my dad's side of the family, who actually loved me and felt bad that I was going through that. So they were always going out of their way to make me feel included, special, loved, and wanted. It doesn't matter if the stepchild will have [holiday/birthday/Christmas/any other fun] with her mother. They need that from both parents. You shouldn't marry someone with children unless you want to be a parent to those children. That means that, no matter how inconvenient they are, you don't get to cut your stepchildren out of an event simply because "not having her around is what makes it a relaxing holiday"

Yeah sorry lady.. you’ve got 2 kids.

She’s sugarcoating this to get people to be on her side about being selfish and just REALLY WISHING it was just her and her baby and the dad. Well sorry. You knew he had a baby. I bet you acted like you loved that child like she was your own to get cool points. Now that you have your own baby and him, you want to throw her to the side! Should be ashamed! If one child goes, they BOTH GO!! How would you freaking feel if he and the daughter’s mom and the daughter went on a vacation without you and your baby ???? Huh??? Girl stop.

"The other child" is as much her husband's as the baby she had with him.

It makes me feel so much better that so many people on here think she's TA. It's not about getting to go on a stupid holiday. It's about being close to her dad. Which she especially needs to feel now that there's a new kid. I guarantee you OP would have a fit if her child were treated this way.

Don't marry someone with a child if u don't plan on accepting that child as yours. My father married a woman who didn't have kids and I'm now 36 and haven't spoken to him in almost 15 years (his choice not mine) I also have a stepdad who had 2 kids and that man is more of a father to me than my bio dad will ever be. He accepted me and we accepted his kids and we all grew up as siblings while anytime I saw my dad his wife would do anything to not include me... going as far as having "their own Christmas" without me while I was at their house. So yes she's an a*****e and so is the dad for not sticking up for his daughter

I have vacationed with newborns before and this chick is nuts if she thinks the 8 year old is going to be the hard part. She's being cruel to her husband who also want to vacation with both his kids and have his whole family there. A self centered one for sure.

I was that stepdaughter along with my sister. We KNEW we weren't as important to my father and stepmother. Once they had THEIR OWN children we were set on the margins. Our stepdad ALWAYS included his children on holidays with my mother's Full support and blessing. We just lost my stepdad, grieved as a family, were there for each other and always will be. My oldest sister and I are in our 60s. We're the only family my (step) sister has left. Despite the age gap we're very close. I no longer see my father, have no relationship with the children he and his wife had. I loved him as a child, but years of feeling like outsiders who were an extra burden and expense took their toll. I feel sad about my half brothers who are struggling with the loss of their mother and caring for my father, but we weren't raised as part of the family. We don't know them well enough to reach out to them. For your baby's sake I hope you reconsider.

Wait, this b!tch thinks traveling with an infant will be "relaxing?" Has she never met a baby prior to having one?

Welp, I am the stepdaughter that never went on holliday with my dad and his family. It s*cks big time. I'm almost 30 and sometimes it still upsets me, as it still happen to this day. Sometimes I even have the means to pay for myself, they just don't invite me, as they don't see me as part of their household. It's very sad to be in the other end. People who marry and have kids with others that are already parents need to learn how to include their sons' siblings and make them feel part of the family. I feel very left out by my dad.

Shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who has a kid if you can’t accept the kid as your own. She 8 wtf is wrong with you. I grew up with a stepmother who payed more attention to her own children and a father that allowed it to happen and now I don’t have a relationship with any of them because of the utter emotional abuse I endured. This poor girl knows that you don’t see her as your own and will grow up to hate you and most likely resent her sibling and her father because of this s**t. If you don’t love her the way you love your own child don’t be a stepmother. What a completely selfish women absolutely disgusting.

Why did you marry a guy that already has a kid if you aren't going to consider that kid your kid too? He has multiple kids and so do you. When you have multiple kids there's all kinds of social dynamics that need to be maneuvered around. We have three, and there was a camping trip where we left the "baby" home with the grandparents so the older two could enjoy camping without their brother crawling into the fire. There were weekend ski trips where the oldest one had a "project due" but really wanted to hang out with his friends, so we took the younger two. There were college visits where we divided and conquered. Its all part of family dynamics…but, its also full disclosure and there was never a question that we loved one less or purposely excluded them if they were excited about coming. Also, vacation with a baby is NOT the blissful experience you imagine. If you bring your 8 year old she may never want to come with you again…so problem solved!

Being a Step 'mother' means that once you actually marry that man, you marry what comes with him, package deal, good and bad. It amazes me how some women ( and men) seem to think that children from another relationship should be treated as pariahs. They are kids! Not including them in anything is heartless and cruel. They won't be children forever and will be doing their own thing in a few years. When these step children are young, why is it such a hardship to accept them and include them in your life? ( especially if they are good kids?) I just think how would you feel if the role was reversed? What if it was your child being excluded? I don't agree with the OP at all.

i can understand both sides somehow..but my thought..eight year old is part of the family. dont exclude her. if the mom needs to rest she should get it besides this vacation. job of her partner to afford her enough me-time. during vacation dad can do some alone-trips with his daughter. its possible to include everyones needs if you really want to.

I'm a step daughter here. My stepmother was never really a mother to me but.. in that position? Would I have been hurt? Uh. Idk, maybe if it was school holidays but I would have been much more impressed about the baby thing bc they were both older, past the normal ages for babies & were in 50s when I was 8 (now early 70s). Taken holiday with the dog? Odd but not that odd, he's part of the family now. The only thing I got hurt about was not getting to go to their wedding bc it was a school day. I think OP should just go by herself, with or without the baby, though. A way to have gone on holiday with bay and hubby could have been to also go somewhere on the weekend with the daughter. Like maybe they go somewhere nearby during the week the daughter is with her mother, then the daughter joins them on the weekend ans they go home together. There's ways to make everyone feel included but still get the time with your partner and baby that you want.

You are just a mother of one, but you are also a married woman, and those are two different relationships. You are definitely not that girls mother don't ever try that's sick. So, you have a right to go on vacation alone, with your husband as a couple, or with the baby or the whole family ( yes she is not your daughter but is part of the family) Never pay for more than your son and you, and yes it's totally fine to go without the kid. I have six siblings, five from my father and one from my mother and I had two stepsiblings, believe me, I went on vacation with my mother twice in my life, she simply could not afford it to add me and it was a couple vacation she had with my stepdad what was wrong with me staying for a week with my grandma? She had the right to enjoy with her husband and I had school, that's life. I don't plan on taking my children on vacation more than I can afford and I will definitely be having couple holidays and that's fine.

husband and I have blended family, mine and his. His daughter would go on several vacations a year, several trips to a theme park all things we could not afford. One time we went to a theme park (my company outing) did not bring step daughter, just my kids as they did not get half what she did. Her mother called loosing her sh*t because we didn't take her, she had just been and as my kids didn't get much it was a little something for them... sorry but she wants a break, the baby won't need entertainment and it's ok for them to do some things on their own. Just like parent going away without their children some times to get a break.

If you can't handle being a step parent then don't marry someone with kids.

As a stepchild, OP is a HUGE AH! "My" baby, she says. That's all I needed to see. Talk about a real -life wicked stepmother. Why don't you just tell the poor kid "I'm not your real mom so I don't have to treat you like a real daughter" and get it out there so there's no lingering hope for the rest of her life?!

I feel that she goes along. Your putting more energy in her not being included vs just setting rules that when she gets bored its on him. I know in my heart she will contribute in a way that will warm your heart. Your right on one thing, it's just this one time for you to mske a lasting impression on both your husband and your bonus child. She will surprise you and truly be the catalyst in bonding ur new small family together. The 8yo goes. Show what a mom triumphs as a win win win. Your baby will not miss a beat w attention. But the 8yo will always feel jilted. She will never understand and ita not about how many trips she goes on w her mom. It's about how she is part of your tribe. I promise you will be so glad you did !!!

who the f**k is stupid enough to think that going on holiday with a baby is not stressful or relaxing it's not going to be relaxing nothing about a baby is relaxing not until they're not a baby anymore what an idiot and an a*****e

I'm speaking as a step child myself AND as a father of a girl who has a step mom... if you want to go on holiday without her, DONT TELL HER! Plan the holiday during a time when she's with the other parent. Not that hard. But if you specifically plan to p**n her off before going on holiday (i.e., this is our time with you, but we're handing you over so we don't have to pay for you) then you are indeed TA. But let's say you plan it so that you leave the day after she goes to her mom's house and be back the day before she gets home, then you're fine. You get your holiday and she's none the wiser that you simply don't want her around. My family has always done this. It let's the step child believe they are wanted AND you get your holiday without the step child. Or, here's a thought, treat the stepchild like they are your own. After all, you agreed to marry the parent knowing they had a kid. Pretty basic on that fact. You CHOSE the child to be yours just as much as you chose the parent.

Oh my shsit - you are SSOOO the AH!! I feel so sorry for this little girl, all I can say is that I hope her Dad wises up and ditches you before there's irreperable damage to the relationship between dad and daughter. When you entered into a relationship with him, you entered into a relationship with his daughter. Full stop. The fact that it's the money that is causing you to want to cut this little girl out of your family is just disgusting - it's the only thing you could have said that would have caused me to think less of you than I already did after reading the first part of your writing. You say it's YOUR money like that's something that should matter. What should matter to you is ensuring that this little girl - your baby's big sister, in case you hadn't realized - doesn't ever have to feel like she's being replaced by her younger sibling. Something tells me you definitely will remember she's the big sister whenever you need a cheap babysitter so you can save YOUR money.

What this woman wants is for het some break while new father is bonding with a baby. Not long time ago she already payed a holyday for her husband and his dochter. She is realy horribile to want something for herself.

She knew he had a child when she God together with him. What happens at her mother's house is no of her business. Her baby is this young girls half sibling and her husband now is the father of 2. The only way she is paying the husband's way and his daughter is if she pays half the bills then the money she has left is her savings.

My sister married someone who already had 2 kids and they have one of their own. When they went away, all 3 kids went barring any issues with the mother. Now they are in their 20s and my niece is 13. So they don’t have those family holidays anymore.