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“I Laughed In His Face”: Woman Refuses To Let Roommate’s BF Move In After He “Tested Her”
Living with a friend is a quintessential part of growing up. Whether you decide to be roommates during college or move to the same city after finishing your degrees, there’s something so special about knowing that there’s always someone you love waiting at home for you. But no pair of roommates is immune to having conflicts, even if they’ve been friends for years.
One woman recently reached out to Reddit seeking advice after her roommate’s boyfriend tried to “test” her to see if he wanted to move in with her. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
RELATED:
This woman is tired of her roommate’s boyfriend freeloading at their place
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
But after the man gave her a “roommate test,” she decided that there’s no way he would be moving in with them
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual image)
Image credits: WholesomeArio
Conflicts between roommates are inevitable
One of the first times that many of us experience living with a roommate is when we start college. In fact, a survey conducted by Benchworks found that a whopping 87% of first-year college students live with at least one roommate.
Whether you’ve moved to a new city or just want some space from your parents, having a roommate can be an extremely beneficial part of your college experience. If you didn’t know each other before you moved into the same place, you might become best friends by the end of the semester. And even if you don’t hit it off, having a roommate can teach you many valuable life skills.
Conflicts are inevitable, so this might be the first time in a student’s life when they’ll need to make compromises and work together to find a solution, rather than throwing in the towel and simply moving out or spending the entire year extremely uncomfortable in their own home.
And when it comes to the issues that typically arise between roommates, National Student Services notes on their site that having different cleaning habits is often a problem. If you hate having dishes sitting in the sink, yet your roommate doesn’t mind going a week without washing up, you both might need to make some compromises.
Another common conflict that roommates fight about is borrowing things without asking. Whether it’s a top you stole from your roommate’s closet or you’ve used half of their carton of milk before they even got a sip, this kind of behavior can quickly transform roommates from friends into enemies.
Having guests over all the time can be another big problem for roommates. When you share a living space, you have to respect the other people who live there as well. It’s not appropriate to have your band or your boyfriend or your best friend around at all hours using resources, making noise and taking up space when your roommate never agreed to live with them.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
It’s important to be able to spot the signs of controlling behavior
In this particular situation, however, simply being present in the home isn’t the only thing that this man did to upset his girlfriend’s roommate. Many commenters pointed out that the behavior he exhibited through his “test” was very concerning.
We have no way of knowing how he treats his girlfriend when they’re alone together, but according to VeryWell Health, there are some telltale signs of controlling behavior that it’s important to be aware of and look out for. First, it’s not a good sign if someone always wants their way or the highway. Making demands then being unable to compromise or hear another point of view is a red flag.
If someone always wants to be the center of attention, that might be a sign of controlling behavior as well. And if they start to criticize their partner or try to keep them away from friends and loved ones, that’s another huge red flag.
They may also blame others for their actions, manipulate and gaslight others, refuse to respect boundaries, exhibit unpredictable behavior, claim that they were “just joking” after doing or saying something inappropriate, try to change their partner and use intimidation. It was definitely not a good sign that this man tried to control his girlfriend’s roommate’s behavior before he even moved in, and the woman was right to be concerned.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. What would you have done in this woman’s situation? Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues, look no further than right here!
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Readers shared their concern for the author in the comments, and she joined in on the conversation
Many assured the woman that she had done nothing wrong and stressed how inappropriate the man’s behavior was
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What do you think ?
DrBronxx 1 year ago
SCARLET! CRIMSON! RUBY! CARMINE! VERMILION! Pick your name, but that dude is a walking red flag, and laughing in his face was the correct response. He is an incredibly childish person, and at best OP's roommate is still in the rose-tinted phase and can't see how dangerous and crazy this situation is.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Burgundy, but also maroon because red flag and full of brown s**t.
Load More Replies...
Libstak 1 year ago (edited)
Aaannnd, we have another peewee Herman wishes he was Andrew Tate trying to alpha male with his "rules" for the females. What a low life pathetic douche. She needs to just leave her stupid room mate to her fate and get away from that toxic pile of red flag leavings.
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
In a home that is not his and he is not paying one thing dime toward. Yep, typical “alpha male” horseshit behavior. He’s roommate may be dating this douchbag, but OP isn’t so he has zero say over what she does in HER own home. Which isn’t his home, but is the place where he’s freeloading off two women he thinks should wait on him hand and foot while also paying all the rent and bills so he doesn’t have to. Because he’s the one with the (most likely really tiny) penis. Sorry bub. Either you move out or I do, and guess whose name is on the lease? Not yours, so bye-fu ck ing-bye fu ck wad. Do I need to call the police and have you forcibly ejected for squatting while I laugh me a*s off at you in cuffs?
Load More Replies...
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)
Tell Jakey Boy he has 15 minutes to GTFO and tell him 'This is NOT a test!'. Also, if Ashley and her sh*tbag friends want to chime in with their cr*p, tell them to house Jakey B Scummy instead. SMH!!!
Mike F 1 year ago
Don't beat around the bush man, if you have something to say, say it. 😂😂😂
Load More Replies...
Chris the Bobcat 1 year ago
Can't fix stupid. Tell them nothing, talk to the landlord and get name removed from anything and pay any early fees, then just move out. No explanation, no warning. Ashley is not a good friend to have. I would cut and run simply because it's easier than kicking unreasonable roommates out. And because I could do it on my own terms. No reason at all to stay with two miscreants.
Traveling Lady Railfan 1 year ago (edited)
I know that the original posters don't read these responses but if anyone's out there in a similar situation, if you feel you're away from home, you need to share an apartment for financial reasons you have a roommate things were going well and now things are going downhill fast because of a guy like this changing the situation, although it's a really good idea to document everything without exaggerating it, and then ask other people their opinion (online people are fine even though you get some weird responses sometimes...it's okay not to have many in person friends. It sounds like you're a very busy person, you're young, you're in school, you might be working part-time also etc) And if most of the people that sound reasonable are telling you the same thing, then more than likely they're right. This is a learning experience about roommates/people you consider to be friends/how people change when they get into a relationship / being manipulated. Get a new roommate
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
She can use the resources available through her school to help her get out of this rotten situation. She can live in the dorms, or they can find her another roommate. She should also be contacting her parents and/or other family members to help her out. You know, like her big, tall, strong, wrestler/football player/boxer/weightlifter brothers or cousins who can come over and read Douchebag Jake the Riot Act and flush him out of the apartment, as well as OP’s and Ashley’s lives, forever. Douchebag bullies like him are cowards with yellow streaks up their backs a mile wide, who only pick on those they think are physically just enough smaller and weaker than them, because anyone bigger and stronger could easily be mopping the floor with them within minutes of meeting him, and not even break a sweat. If OP could do that, Jakey-boy would run for the hills and be too terrified to ever come back.
Load More Replies...
Remi (He/Him) 1 year ago
If I were the OP, I'd be very curious to know what Jake told Ashley and the friends of the confrontation, because the probability that he's concocted some bs story is about 100%. Expose his manipulative aß!
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
I do not miss the need for a roommate. I was finally able to live on my own by my mid-twenties, and believe me, it was heavenly compared to dealing with a roommate’s horseshit. Not that I never had good roommates. Some of them were wonderful and I could’ve lived with them forever if our lives had never changed (marriage—-who would ever want to be a third wheel like that?). Unfortunately, good roommates are extremely rare and most of the people I shared rent with may have started out great, but ended up becoming hot messes, mostly when their personalities changed for the worse when they started dating certain a******s. Cripes, if you’re dating someone who manipulates you to change your entire personality to suit them and not you, RUN! Because that’s one of the abuser’s favorite tricks; isolating you from your friends and families, which can be achieved by changing you into someone who alienates the people who genuinely care about you. Your abuser doesn’t care about you, they only care about themself, and will use you up, drain you dry, then dump you without anywhere to turn, because the found a fresh new victim.
Load More Replies...
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
The landlord should be let in on this new living arrangement. Let's see how it goes over with them. In the meantime, OP should lock as much of her possessions as possible in her room, take her name off of all of the utilities (cable and wifi included), look for other housing. Better yet, she should see if the landlord has another unit available. When both Ashley and Jake are out of the apartment, move into the other unit, taking everything that belongs to her. The fallout should be interesting.
DrBronxx 1 year ago
SCARLET! CRIMSON! RUBY! CARMINE! VERMILION! Pick your name, but that dude is a walking red flag, and laughing in his face was the correct response. He is an incredibly childish person, and at best OP's roommate is still in the rose-tinted phase and can't see how dangerous and crazy this situation is.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Burgundy, but also maroon because red flag and full of brown s**t.
Load More Replies... Libstak 1 year ago (edited)
Aaannnd, we have another peewee Herman wishes he was Andrew Tate trying to alpha male with his "rules" for the females. What a low life pathetic douche. She needs to just leave her stupid room mate to her fate and get away from that toxic pile of red flag leavings.
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
In a home that is not his and he is not paying one thing dime toward. Yep, typical “alpha male” horseshit behavior. He’s roommate may be dating this douchbag, but OP isn’t so he has zero say over what she does in HER own home. Which isn’t his home, but is the place where he’s freeloading off two women he thinks should wait on him hand and foot while also paying all the rent and bills so he doesn’t have to. Because he’s the one with the (most likely really tiny) penis. Sorry bub. Either you move out or I do, and guess whose name is on the lease? Not yours, so bye-fu ck ing-bye fu ck wad. Do I need to call the police and have you forcibly ejected for squatting while I laugh me a*s off at you in cuffs?
Load More Replies... SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)
Tell Jakey Boy he has 15 minutes to GTFO and tell him 'This is NOT a test!'. Also, if Ashley and her sh*tbag friends want to chime in with their cr*p, tell them to house Jakey B Scummy instead. SMH!!!
Mike F 1 year ago
Don't beat around the bush man, if you have something to say, say it. 😂😂😂
Load More Replies... Chris the Bobcat 1 year ago
Can't fix stupid. Tell them nothing, talk to the landlord and get name removed from anything and pay any early fees, then just move out. No explanation, no warning. Ashley is not a good friend to have. I would cut and run simply because it's easier than kicking unreasonable roommates out. And because I could do it on my own terms. No reason at all to stay with two miscreants.
Traveling Lady Railfan 1 year ago (edited)
I know that the original posters don't read these responses but if anyone's out there in a similar situation, if you feel you're away from home, you need to share an apartment for financial reasons you have a roommate things were going well and now things are going downhill fast because of a guy like this changing the situation, although it's a really good idea to document everything without exaggerating it, and then ask other people their opinion (online people are fine even though you get some weird responses sometimes...it's okay not to have many in person friends. It sounds like you're a very busy person, you're young, you're in school, you might be working part-time also etc) And if most of the people that sound reasonable are telling you the same thing, then more than likely they're right. This is a learning experience about roommates/people you consider to be friends/how people change when they get into a relationship / being manipulated. Get a new roommate
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
She can use the resources available through her school to help her get out of this rotten situation. She can live in the dorms, or they can find her another roommate. She should also be contacting her parents and/or other family members to help her out. You know, like her big, tall, strong, wrestler/football player/boxer/weightlifter brothers or cousins who can come over and read Douchebag Jake the Riot Act and flush him out of the apartment, as well as OP’s and Ashley’s lives, forever. Douchebag bullies like him are cowards with yellow streaks up their backs a mile wide, who only pick on those they think are physically just enough smaller and weaker than them, because anyone bigger and stronger could easily be mopping the floor with them within minutes of meeting him, and not even break a sweat. If OP could do that, Jakey-boy would run for the hills and be too terrified to ever come back.
Load More Replies... Remi (He/Him) 1 year ago
If I were the OP, I'd be very curious to know what Jake told Ashley and the friends of the confrontation, because the probability that he's concocted some bs story is about 100%. Expose his manipulative aß!
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
I do not miss the need for a roommate. I was finally able to live on my own by my mid-twenties, and believe me, it was heavenly compared to dealing with a roommate’s horseshit. Not that I never had good roommates. Some of them were wonderful and I could’ve lived with them forever if our lives had never changed (marriage—-who would ever want to be a third wheel like that?). Unfortunately, good roommates are extremely rare and most of the people I shared rent with may have started out great, but ended up becoming hot messes, mostly when their personalities changed for the worse when they started dating certain a******s. Cripes, if you’re dating someone who manipulates you to change your entire personality to suit them and not you, RUN! Because that’s one of the abuser’s favorite tricks; isolating you from your friends and families, which can be achieved by changing you into someone who alienates the people who genuinely care about you. Your abuser doesn’t care about you, they only care about themself, and will use you up, drain you dry, then dump you without anywhere to turn, because the found a fresh new victim.
Load More Replies... BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
The landlord should be let in on this new living arrangement. Let's see how it goes over with them. In the meantime, OP should lock as much of her possessions as possible in her room, take her name off of all of the utilities (cable and wifi included), look for other housing. Better yet, she should see if the landlord has another unit available. When both Ashley and Jake are out of the apartment, move into the other unit, taking everything that belongs to her. The fallout should be interesting.
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