Congratulations! Your kid had sex and made a baby! /s And I thought gender reveals were the height of dumb... well, they just found a taller peak.

Never had an issues with baby showers for staff, but our office got into a weird scenario of food for sick. Started with a single woman who had no family convalescing alone at home post surgery. A co-worker organized office staff to prepare/deliver meals and groceries to help out. Shortly after another married co-worker (female, married and with children 8-10 years old) with sisters and mom close by was out with surgery. Day of surgery her boss came to several of us in the office complaining that we had not yet put together a food schedule. This woman was not well liked to begin with, but also had family and husband helping out. Boss was very angry when no one chose to do anything. My long way of saying...it depends on the circumstances. Celebrate Grandma if you like her and she deserves it. If not, your choice to not participate.

Can't believe all the YTA comments. How can anyone be blamed for not volunteering to do something voluntary? Once people expect you to 'volunteer' it becomes a chore and all the joy of doing something voluntarily is sucked out of it.

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

I'd buy brownies or a cake at the grocery store, stick a note on it that says "Congrats" + not attend the shower. Or just give granny a card that says "congrats." It shouldn't be mandatory to participate, just cuz you all work at the same place.

Just take the woman out to celebrate the good news. There's no need to throw a damn party for everything. Nor is there reason to subject an entire office to the social whims of others.

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. Sounds greedy and selfish.

It depends on how long you have worked together. They had one for my mother when I had my first child who now is 30+ but it was not for me but things to have a her house diapers wipes bibs etc. She loved it but they had all worked together for many years many knew me as a child. They only did it for the first born, to celebrate her becoming a grandma.

If it's just an excuse to have a little party and eat food then I don't see the issue with it. Memaw should not be expecting gifts, tho.

Nta but why are people so freaking nasty just because someone wants to give someone else a party?? And why do they always assume they're of the baby boomer generation?! Maybe it's a first grand baby and they're excited, your opinion on the grandma and other participants was not asked for and is not necessary.

From a Boomer, born first year of the Boomer generation. . . THIS IS NOT a thing. As a woman (white, but do not get the race reference?) from New England, what is with everyone needing a special party and recognition??? My goodness! Seriously, throw yourself a party, invite all your friends, ask them to sincerely tell you how special they think you are, record it, video it, watch it every day if needed and feel better soon. Making up theme parties!!! I would not participate, why? Because I'm wicked old school. Work is for . . . Wait for it . . . WORK. Socialize on your time and your dime. Trust me, your boss will thank you. This drama only detracts from the business you are paid to work for. And I expect all the hate. Peace

I've been to an office grandma shower, it was awful. The daughter and babydaddy were indifferent, it was super weird because we had never met either of them before, there was no party vibe at all, it was just a small group of female coworkers sitting in a ring of chairs in the middle of a cubicle farm and handing over gifts.

I finally opted out of the whole birthday party business when I realized I was spending far more on my various coworkers in food and gifts than I was seeing in return, and it was out of control. They didn't like it but I found peace of mind not having someone asking for 5-10 dollars at my desk twice a week. It was ridiculous. Just saying no from the get go on the birthday grift at a job saves a lot of cash and your lunch money. Say it's against your religion and they'll leave you alone.

Curious- what caused somebody to think this is in the South?

See, I agree with the extra stress .This is to appease the work gods for peace. It can't be more than a simple kind gesture or pick me up. If they wanna show appreciation for the coworker than it should be her appreciation day but Grandma shower isn't a real thing. I think most grandmas don't want to be showered time and time again. I think most would prefer a long vacation, or maybe a free spa day. Adult body doesn't enjoy heavy and especially sweet foods as much. The metabolism is not what it used to be. There must be a more enjoyable medium for everyone. You aren't wrong for feeling off put about everything. Only you know how it will affect your work environment and if you are willing to invest in preparations.

NTa. Politely decline, for personal reasons. You have already said congratulations and that's enough for people you will never know. I worked with a team and some folks wanted to celebrate birthdays with cake in the office. Great, but one person was always responsible for buying, remembering, and collecting money. Next plan was...when it's your birthday, bring in your own cake. It was genius.

This is just plain stupid. Tell them that you don't think grandma showers are a thing, especially when they couldn't throw an office bridal shower for your co-worker. Grandma already had all of HER showers, and she doesn't need made-up stuff when she has a birthday every year. Bake her a cake for her birthday. And get your newlywed co-worker her bridal gift. She got shafted by the office "party planners".

And companies wonder why nobody wants to return to the office? I hated the parties we had to pay for and the gifts and the forced camaraderie and don’t get me started on potlucks.

NTA 100%. Having a get together on company time where nobody has to contribute extra money and you get paid for it, Sure. Asking for diapers, heck no. Unfortunately though, OP is in a situation where if she doesn't show up with a baked good, she'll catch a lot of flak. It sucks. I've had to drive out of my way on my dime for mandatory fun work parties. But it's weighing the options- boss and co workers won't notice you're there and participating, but absolutely will notice if you're not there.

If you can't afford a baby, don't have one. Enough with all the showers and parties for every single thing. Why should she buy anything for a stranger? And grandma is just going to give it all to her daughter. So glad my company doesn't buy into c**p like this.

downvoting JUST for the YTA comments included.

I think she is definitely TA—I mean come on, you can’t bake some brownies? My office would have a small grandma shower to celebrate our coworker’s happy occasion. It was actually really nice and we would also get some grandma related stuff (and diapers, cute outfits, whatever—grandmas sometimes need baby stuff at their house too if they babysit). It was just a nice gesture and not the scale of an actual baby shower which the mom to be would have had separately but was just a nice and selfless thing to do to celebrate our coworker’s happy occasion.