“My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral
Interview With ExpertSome girls don’t care about proposals. But others want the event to be really special. A proposal, after all, is about showing love and appreciation to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. So, the effort put into planning it reflects how much that person means to you.
And what does a proposal at a McDonald’s reflect? Because it’s exactly what this poor girl got from her boyfriend. The guy unironically got down on one knee mid-burger and popped the question. And with the wrong kind of jewelry! Furious and hurt, the woman decided to ask others whether she was being unreasonable.
We reached out to Michele Velazquez, proposal expert and date planner and owner of The Heart Bandits. She was kind enough to weigh in on this whole situation and told Bored Panda more about how not to propose and how couples should approach the big question.
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Hardly anyone would consider McDonald’s a romantic place
Image credits: Mike Mozart/ Flickr (not the actual photo)
But one man decided to propose to his girlfriend just as they were munching on some burgers and fries
Image credits: Gift Habeshaw/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Julia Taubitz/ Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Unusual-Proof-9797
A proposal expert tells us the three worst ways to propose
Michele Velazquez, a professional proposal expert, says that a proposal at a McDonald’s is quite a big yikes. “Don’t propose at a fast food restaurant!” she says with conviction. What are some other rules to keep in mind when planning a proposal?
Michele says that the person proposing should be mindful of their partner’s preferences. “Don’t propose in a way that only you think would be cool. For example, if you love a crowd and your partner doesn’t, don’t propose with a Flash Mob.”
Another big no-no would be to do it in public places and events where there are huge crowds. It’s not romantic or intimate. One example could be a sporting event. “Proposing in front of thousands of people with beer and nachos on the ground is not romantic,” Velazquez points out.
“Don’t propose using food,” she adds. “Long gone are the days when you can hide a ring in a cheesecake.” That goes for all the other cliches you can think of: ring in a champagne glass, Valentine’s Day proposals, skywriting or plane banners, and at someone else’s wedding.
Image credits: Toa Heftiba/Pexels (not the actual photo)
There is no one right way to propose
Those planning to propose soon might be thinking: so what do I do? Is my every idea bound to be a cliche? What is the right way to propose? Well, there is no one right way – it all depends on what you and your partner want.
“The key to a successful proposal is to create a proposal concept that would be meaningful and resonate with your partner,” the proposal expert says. “The way to do that is to brainstorm things about your relationship that may be unique to your love story.”
“Think about how you first met, how you fell in love, shared hobbies that brought you together, moments in your relationship that made you stronger, etc. Then circle those ideas that you think could be used as the central theme in your marriage proposal.”
Vazquez says that, nowadays, couples tend to talk about marriage before a proposal. “When the conversation comes up about marriage, it is ok to talk about what kind of ring you’d like and how you envision your proposal,” she says.
“A more subtle way to suggest how you’d like to be proposed to is by starting a Pinterest page for your engagement or liking and sharing proposals you like on other social media outlets.”
What’s more, people don’t have to do all the planning themselves. “10 years ago, when someone was proposing, there really weren’t resources out there to help them. But now there are proposal planners [who] are experts in creating once-in-a-lifetime proposals, so don’t be afraid to utilize them!” Michele urges.
Image credits: Amy Humphries/ Pexels (not the actual photo)
Sometimes, it’s not about the “how” but the “why”
Just as with weddings, many people (especially women) have presupposed ideas about how their “perfect day” should look. But is the way your partner proposes to you really the most important thing in the relationship equation?
Some say that the stereotypical proposal doesn’t reflect the relationship dynamics between a man and a woman in the year of our lord 2024. Professor of marriage and family history at Evergreen State College, Stephanie Coontz, told the Atlantic that the tradition of the proposal is very resistant to change.
In most heterosexual couples, the woman expects a man to propose. By surprise, preferably. The whole ordeal can sometimes veer on the edge of the ridiculous: he’s supposed to know how she wants it to go, but he can’t tell her exactly how and when it will happen.
“[The proposal is] still so wrapped up in the old tradition of males taking initiative and females being delighted that it’s very painful for everyone if it doesn’t go the way we expect—for the women who has to say no, for the man who feels humiliated, and for any public audience,” Coontz observed.
In the end, the proposal, above all else, should be meaningful to both partners, should it not? “However your other half (or you!) proposed, I hope you never forget that the ‘why’ is a million times more important than the ‘how,'” the founder of The Rock N Roll Bride magazine, Kat Williams, writes. “Whether you were dancing around your living room in your underwear, or standing atop the Eiffel Tower at sunset, that magical moment is YOURS.”
Commenters had some heartfelt and sincere advice for the girlfriend
People on another social media platform had similar reactions
"He takes me out to dinner, he buys me things, he takes me on trips" me me me money money money. Not "he listens to me, he genuinely cares. He makes me laugh." This sounds more like he got sick of her materialistic entitled attitude.
And I wanted my mom, dad, sister, dog, goldfish, hell, the whole damned town involved! That's why it happened at Mickey Dee's, the town was already there and he got the ring from the bubblegum machine in the front!
Load More Replies...So I think anyone who pretends discussing marriage is not a proposal and wants a musical production for themselves is awful, but I don't have to marry them. OP was clear about what she wanted, and is quite obviously the type of person who has it planned out, so BF could have asked for clarification, probably would have received a folder of links and suggestions, and chose not to. And that's fine, that's the counter offer. If they want to play these games for the duration of their marriage of hints and ignoring hints and daring the other one to blink, that sounds miserable to me. I wouldn't want to live like that. But probably that's what their relationship has been up to now. Everyone failed the others tests (his propisal failed to be hallmark enough, her response wasn't enthusiastic enough when it wasn't her choreographed show) now they have to decide if they accept the failures and move on or if they grade on a curve and just keep testing eachother and failing.
I don't get the hype around perfect romantic proposals. But McDs? What an AH. They both seem self centered and insufferable anyway. Saying he takes me to dinner and buys me things seems materialistic.
I read that part as "we have regular date nights because he values the relationship, and he also does little, unscripted things to show that he values me". Neither of us has much to go on here... maybe she is materialistic. But maybe she isn't.
Load More Replies..."He takes me out to dinner, he buys me things, he takes me on trips" me me me money money money. Not "he listens to me, he genuinely cares. He makes me laugh." This sounds more like he got sick of her materialistic entitled attitude.
And I wanted my mom, dad, sister, dog, goldfish, hell, the whole damned town involved! That's why it happened at Mickey Dee's, the town was already there and he got the ring from the bubblegum machine in the front!
Load More Replies...So I think anyone who pretends discussing marriage is not a proposal and wants a musical production for themselves is awful, but I don't have to marry them. OP was clear about what she wanted, and is quite obviously the type of person who has it planned out, so BF could have asked for clarification, probably would have received a folder of links and suggestions, and chose not to. And that's fine, that's the counter offer. If they want to play these games for the duration of their marriage of hints and ignoring hints and daring the other one to blink, that sounds miserable to me. I wouldn't want to live like that. But probably that's what their relationship has been up to now. Everyone failed the others tests (his propisal failed to be hallmark enough, her response wasn't enthusiastic enough when it wasn't her choreographed show) now they have to decide if they accept the failures and move on or if they grade on a curve and just keep testing eachother and failing.
I don't get the hype around perfect romantic proposals. But McDs? What an AH. They both seem self centered and insufferable anyway. Saying he takes me to dinner and buys me things seems materialistic.
I read that part as "we have regular date nights because he values the relationship, and he also does little, unscripted things to show that he values me". Neither of us has much to go on here... maybe she is materialistic. But maybe she isn't.
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