I'd love to her this story again, but retold by the brother, and then the sister-in-law. I suspect it might be different in each retelling.

A relatively young, married couple let her (28 years old) stay with them for over 6 months and only asked her to leave when they needed the room to start their own family. They tried dropping lots of hints and when she ignored them they had direct conversations with her about leaving and she still didn't get a move on - her own behaviour is what lead to the packing of the bags. I get that she doesn't want her peace disturbed now but she has no right to be salty about being kicked out of her brothers house.

She clearly overstayed her welcome by a mile, refused to look for options when asked and was Picachu-faced when evicted. There is more to this story.

There's a world of difference between taking in an adult and a family with two small children

I don't think OP is the AH either way. If she wants to help nices/newphews and brother, fine, but sign a lease. You can do it for a nominal amount, but it means there is some legal protection for all parties and will set boundaries. (Check lease in advance though, usually you've already signed something abiut how long and how many guests can stay.). Personally, I wouldn't let them stay, but probably clouded judgement due to my own SIL.

Why doesn't she just tell them her landlord won't allow an extra 4 people in her small apartment? When I rented, it was supposed to be a place for one person only. If I wanted to have a guest stay, they could only stay for two weeks. No one else was allowed to live with me unless my landlord OKed it and he would raise the rent considerably if that happened.

No, but Hell No. Under no circumstances do you allow them to move in with you. If they wanted you out that bad they should have set a date not hinting. Why the rush having a baby is not a state of emergency. The baby could have shared a room with them in a bassinet until she moved out on the agreed upon date.

Once again I don't understand the YTA comments. The OP when living with brother was helping with groceries and household chores. It doesn't sound like she was being a freeloader. And really SIL needs to apologize cause the way it was handled and OP ending up couching surfing wasn't good. It takes time to save up for a first apt rental. There is typically 1st months, last month and security deposit. Also 4 people in what is probably a 1 bedroom apartment? Nope. OP IS nTA amd there needs to be another idea here. The parents and in-laws need to help. Also brother didn't just get evicted out of the blue.

NTA; sounds like they have a ton of people TELLING you that you should take them in; so they have other options. There are actually programs for people with children. You're a single female; they're an entire family. You did your best to help when you were with them and they kicked you out without giving you a chance to fully get back on your feet though it was only ONE of you. How hard do you think it will be for you with 5 people around until they're able to move out. NO. There are no bonds there; no one has apologized or even acknowledged their unfairness to you in the past. You are ONE person. Take care of yourself, so you never nave this happen to you again. As I've said, they have children, there are programs for that.

I do think they really help you, although how the go you out was wrong, I do think you needed to try harder, because they needed your room for their baby, and you didn't seem to be doing enough. BUT, if they move in, they will take over because they have two children and you're not on great terms with Karen. They will without a doubt stay way longer and feel entitled, and getting someone out that has children will be a nightmare. I'd say ETA but what they're asking is WAAAAAAY more than you did! I don't think you're bad at all, even with what I said at the beginning. You were stuck, simple! It's completely different when it's a whole family that wants to move in. I wouldn't, but you'll expect a backlash, even though you are right to say no. Good luck OP!

Pregnancy is hard. If OP had a good job, it makes sense Karen would be getting anxious. Personally I would directly ask for an apology and base decision on that.

She overstayed her welcome, and now harbors bad feelings against her brother and his wife? I agree your place is too small to handle all those folks, but having them stay for 2 weeks or so is reasonable. Let the bad feelings go. You have no idea what they were going through.

Boy, do I feel this one. I had hit some bad financial times several years ago -- nothing to do with COVID, although that started a couple of years into my ordeal. First I stayed with one brother and worked a crappy, low-paying job in the area until his wife urged him to urge me to move out. Then another brother offered his place to stay. I moved in with brother #2 right when COVID hit. Nobody in the area was hiring, of course -- not even minimum wage jobs. I applied like crazy to jobs for which I'd been trained, back in the city where I'd previously lived. But wife of brother #2 apparently didn't think I was trying hard enough, and (via her husband) gave me an ultimatum that I had a month to move out. This woman also treated me rudely most of my time there, despite me helping out with chores whenever I could. And she never apologized, either -- in fact, I'm certain she thinks she didn't do anything wrong. It's been a couple of years since then, but I'm still not ready to forgive her.

If she lets them in, she will be lucky to get a vote in anything that happens under her own roof. They will insist on their own way about everything and completely take over.

I'm kinda on the YTA bench here... probably for the first time! While she does not have to open her home and 4 ppl is more than one... yeah, I would want my extended house guest out before the baby came and she got plenty of hints from mum to be. Yes a notice period would have been nice but, OP sounds as though she was oblivious in an obvious 'you should leave' situation.

Brother took in one person who helped around the house - sister is being asked to bring in 4

Seems like an easy solution to me.. Yes for kids and brother FOR A SHORT TIME. Hard f**king no on the twatwaffle Karen. She cant even be bothered to apologize or acknowledge what it did. That filth has no place and is NOT welcome. Period. EVER. And let the so called brother know hes on thin ice for the perverse audacity of even asking. Without ever any apologies.

Regardless of any previous experiences, you’re a single person in an apartment, allowing two other adults & two children to move into your space would be a disaster. They would absolutely take over your home, the amount of c**p that goes along with small children is mind boggling, it fills up the lounge room, the kitchen, the bathroom. If you love your quiet, it would be gone, kids running, yelling, fighting, watching the same video 23 times in a row, refusing to go to bed, refusing to get in the bath, brush their teeth, get dressed, getting up at the crack of dawn every day & the laundry alone that goes with a family jeez if they’ve got pets they would expect them to come too. You were One Adult that pulled your weight & contributed. If your parents are so concerned let them take them in, or her parents. Don’t Let them move in you will never get them out. Your home would be trashed.

The only problem I see here is it´s a huge family. How much spare space does she have? They helped her for months, even though the ending may have been a bit rude for her, they still helped her out during her hard times, so it makes sense for her to do the same, especially since they have small kids, it´s even harder, they can´t couch surf with a whole family. But it is quite different from staying in a guest room that´s not being used than 4 people in an apartment for 1 person.

My sister, her boyfriend and their two kids moved in with me and my newborn once (social housing, UK), they then refused point blank to leave and I had to sleep on the sofa as they took over my house. I wound up packing up myself, my daughter and one bag and walked out leaving them to it.

This brother took the sister in when she had nowhere else to go, and gave her housing for 6 months. Yeah, it ended poorly and she does deserve some kind of apology for that ending (assuming it went down the way she says) but that doesn't negate the good deed the Brother and SIL did. That said, taking in a family of 4 is hardly the same as taking in your sister for 6 months. A family coming to live with you for an undetermined lengthy period is a huge burden, and anyone who tell you "it is what family does" is just trying to manipulate you with guilt. Poster should agree to a specific length of stay (maybe 1 -2 months) with a hard end by date, after which time the Brother's family can find somewhere else to stay (if the parents are saying it is what family does, let them be family). Also, Poster is well within their rights to say they feel they deserve an apology from SIL for how things ended before.

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