I'd love to her this story again, but retold by the brother, and then the sister-in-law. I suspect it might be different in each retelling.

He took her in for 6 months and they shouldn't even have had to ask her to leave when his wife got pregnant and she got a job. Why go irritate a married couple with a child on the way when she notices that his wife is fed up? She could have just rented a room somewhere when they dropped hints or gone to her parents. Now to expect her to take this whole family in, my goodness, that's asking a lot. Why don't their parents help? I think I go for esh. She could go live w her parents 6 months as a thank you, but there's a big chance they won't leave. My ex did that when his sister divorced with 2 kids. She had to go back to his parents' flat and his mother was horrible. She had beaten them up as kids and was still insane controlling, so he let her live in his flat with her 2 kids and he went back to his parents for a year, which was absolutely horrible and a great sacrifice.

If it was just him I'd say yea, she owes him. But a whole family with two small children? In an apartment? No way would I do this for more than a few weeks. You don't get evicted from one day to the next, how long did he leave this?

After reading some of these comments, I had to go back and reread the article, because some criticisms weren't adding up for me. OP wasn't a freeloader or taking advantage as some are claiming--she was performing household chores and contributing what she could financially while actively trying to save enough to get her own apartment. OP doesn't mention location, but we all know how outrageous rents are pretty much everywhere now, so setting aside first and last month's rent starting from zero is going to be a heavy lift regardless, and even when you're actively looking, it today's market it can still take months to find an suitable place. Seems like brother understood this but SIL did not. One person living in a spare room is not the same as four extra people in an apartment. NTA.

Why not tell him there's not enough room? I don't know how big the apartment is, but 5 people take up a lot of space, especially when you dislike one of them. Plus, any apology coming from sil is going to be insincere anyway.

If this person lives in the USA there are often rules in apartment buildings preventing overnight guests for more than a couple of days. For her to do this she would have to sublet (I think) and many landlords won't approve that either. So even if she wanted to help she might not be able to or they could all end up homeless when the landlord evicts them.

My brother did the same to me. I am not a forgiving person. Burn me once and you will not get a second chance. Betrayal hurts worse when it comes from family. Toxic dysfunction - I am completely no contact with my entire family. I consider myself an orphan. They tell people I am dead. Win. Win.

The lack of apology is the biggest red flag for me. Explain that to them, that you can't trust SIL. She hasn't even the grace to speak to you, but wants to be set free in your house? Tit for tat it is then. Pay for a motel for six months, but there has to be a declaration to the family that you've generously reciprocated by housing FOUR people. Otherwise why bother, and no deal, as it would be ridiculous to have squared things with him and still be called selfish!

They had 1 person staying with them. She will have 4!!!! NTA.

Perhaps say that if Karen apologized for putting your stuff out like that, then you might reconsider. After she apologizes, reconsider and decide nope.

Hosting four people (one of whom you don't like, for whatever reason...like, "Karen is going to have OP care for the children") is a HUGE favour if you don't live in a half-empty house, which OP doesn't. For days, yes. For weeks, well, if it's family in need. For "probably some months", with no clear end-hell no. Since they're broke, the stakes are high that once OP takes care of rent, groceries and household, their motivation to move out will be even lower than OP's was (pretty immature of her at the time). Only possible way I'd agree is for a fixed period of time with fixed tasks and rules. E.g., no one eats OP's food unless OP agrees. E.g. Karen will do the cleaning of kitchen/bathroom/floors and so on. Quiet night time is.. And: family will move to their new place or parents' house on -insert date. Have parents sign that agreement too. Yes, family is family, but nobody is obliged to change their lifestyle (OP's need for privacy) permanently because brother denied risk of eviction

For the first time i am supporting the YTA comments and saying You Are The A*s. Why is already written and explained by them. You preferred to remember those 2 months hurt and forget the 6 months help according to your convenience. Your brother did not show out but he was pressured and probably given an ultimatum to kick u out by his wife, due to which u were on the road suddenly one day and i am sure he might have felt very sorry for having to do that bcz of his wife. Its his wife who created havoc for u but u r punishing ur brother and innocent kids for that? What happened to ur humanity. Infact if u let them in, u will get a chance to take revenge on ur SIL softly besides helping ur bro and kids in need and this help will go a very long way bcz no one knows who will need whom in future. Who knows… U MIGHT NEED THEIR HELP IN FUTURE. So remember that very well

I think the author outstayed her welcome in the brothers home. She should have made more effort sooner to leave especially after the pregnancy news. It’s only natural the new mum would want the room as a nursery. So yes, she should take them in as they did her.

Let’s take out the history, are you comfortable doing this? That’s the question,

Janelle Collard

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If neither set of parents are willing to take them in, what does it say about bro, wife and kids? If OP takes them in they will NEVER leave. She needs to stick to her guns + refuse. Block everybody who thinks it's her job to do this. As for SIL + bro: they did NOT have a discussion with OP to agree to the terms of her staying with them + when she'd have to leave.

Brother took in one person who helped around the house - sister is being asked to bring in 4

Seems like an easy solution to me.. Yes for kids and brother FOR A SHORT TIME. Hard f**king no on the twatwaffle Karen. She cant even be bothered to apologize or acknowledge what it did. That filth has no place and is NOT welcome. Period. EVER. And let the so called brother know hes on thin ice for the perverse audacity of even asking. Without ever any apologies.

Regardless of any previous experiences, you’re a single person in an apartment, allowing two other adults & two children to move into your space would be a disaster. They would absolutely take over your home, the amount of c**p that goes along with small children is mind boggling, it fills up the lounge room, the kitchen, the bathroom. If you love your quiet, it would be gone, kids running, yelling, fighting, watching the same video 23 times in a row, refusing to go to bed, refusing to get in the bath, brush their teeth, get dressed, getting up at the crack of dawn every day & the laundry alone that goes with a family jeez if they’ve got pets they would expect them to come too. You were One Adult that pulled your weight & contributed. If your parents are so concerned let them take them in, or her parents. Don’t Let them move in you will never get them out. Your home would be trashed.

The only problem I see here is it´s a huge family. How much spare space does she have? They helped her for months, even though the ending may have been a bit rude for her, they still helped her out during her hard times, so it makes sense for her to do the same, especially since they have small kids, it´s even harder, they can´t couch surf with a whole family. But it is quite different from staying in a guest room that´s not being used than 4 people in an apartment for 1 person.

My sister, her boyfriend and their two kids moved in with me and my newborn once (social housing, UK), they then refused point blank to leave and I had to sleep on the sofa as they took over my house. I wound up packing up myself, my daughter and one bag and walked out leaving them to it.

This brother took the sister in when she had nowhere else to go, and gave her housing for 6 months. Yeah, it ended poorly and she does deserve some kind of apology for that ending (assuming it went down the way she says) but that doesn't negate the good deed the Brother and SIL did. That said, taking in a family of 4 is hardly the same as taking in your sister for 6 months. A family coming to live with you for an undetermined lengthy period is a huge burden, and anyone who tell you "it is what family does" is just trying to manipulate you with guilt. Poster should agree to a specific length of stay (maybe 1 -2 months) with a hard end by date, after which time the Brother's family can find somewhere else to stay (if the parents are saying it is what family does, let them be family). Also, Poster is well within their rights to say they feel they deserve an apology from SIL for how things ended before.

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