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“AITA For Refusing To Let My In-Laws See My Daughter After What They Did During Her Birth?”: Mom Shares Story
Interview With Expert
Everyone aspires to have a harmonious, loving relationship with their spouse’s family. But if life throws a curveball, you may get entitled in-laws with zero respect for your boundaries.
Today’s story is about a poor woman currently dealing with this type of difficult situation. After her parents-in-law caused her a stressful childbirth, she refused to let them see their newborn granddaughter. However, it led to what she described as a “smear campaign” from her husband’s family.
Upset and fed up, she now turns to the AITAH subreddit to know whether she was out of line.
Bored Panda also spoke with marriage/family therapist and radio host Dr. Jane Greer, who shared her insights about dealing with entitled family members.
RELATED:
Dealing with disrespectful, entitled in-laws can be exhausting
Image credits: alinabuphoto (not the actual image)
A woman went through a stressful childbirth because of her husband’s parents, who had no respect for her boundaries
Image credits: nd3000 (not the actual image)
She refused to let the rude grandparents see her newborn daughter
Image credits: GaudiLab (not the actual image)
But it only caused more stress and tension
Image credits: [deleted]
You can’t expect entitled relatives to change their ways
The author’s in-laws aren’t hiding their sense of entitlement. And according to Dr. Greer, parents are usually guilty of this behavior.
“This is often seen as their parental right, with many asserting, ‘because I am your mother,” as justification. They believe this gives them carte blanche to dictate actions and decisions.
“Consequently, they have specific expectations about your behavior that align with their sense of entitlement.”
As the story shows, the in-laws’ behavior only worsened over time. And unfortunately, they likely won’t change their ways because their actions may be rooted in a narcissistic personality disorder.
“Their children become a means of fulfilling their desires rather than individuals to support and nurture,” Dr. Greer explains.
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual image)
It is important for both spouses to stand up against the entitled in-laws
The author says her husband has been supportive but remains torn between his wife and parents. In this case, however, both of them should set boundaries to take action against the entitled behavior displayed by the old couple.
“In some cases, having the spouse speak on behalf of their partner can make the partner feel cared about and prioritized. It shows solidarity and support, ensuring the partner does not feel abandoned or neglected and prevents resentment,” Dr. Greer said.
However, based on her account, having a healthy relationship with her husband’s parents seems unlikely. She did the right thing by distancing herself without showing the same level of disrespect.
What do you think, dear readers?
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual image)
Most commenters sided with the author
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What do you think ?
Beak Hookage 5 months ago
Absolutely disgusting behaviour. If what they did isn't hugely illegal, it bloody well should be.
Trillian 5 months ago
I am having a hard time believing this. Did she not tell the nurses explicitly that no one was to gain access? I mean, a delivery is a medical procedure after all, they can't just let people barge in there? What if she had a c-section, would they have let them run into the operating room as well?
FreeTheUnicorn 5 months ago
Agree, I've yet to see a hospital where you have to specify who you don't want in the room, it's usually a list of people who are ok to come in, especially during the birth. Even the other parent has to be given the ok from the patient. Post Covid most places have become even stricter than before. I know on TV people talk their way into hospitals all the time, but that doesn't actually happen irl. In the US and UK there are huge fines for the hospital if m it does happen, so report that c**p if it does.
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Beak Hookage 5 months ago
Absolutely disgusting behaviour. If what they did isn't hugely illegal, it bloody well should be.
Trillian 5 months ago
I am having a hard time believing this. Did she not tell the nurses explicitly that no one was to gain access? I mean, a delivery is a medical procedure after all, they can't just let people barge in there? What if she had a c-section, would they have let them run into the operating room as well?
FreeTheUnicorn 5 months ago
Agree, I've yet to see a hospital where you have to specify who you don't want in the room, it's usually a list of people who are ok to come in, especially during the birth. Even the other parent has to be given the ok from the patient. Post Covid most places have become even stricter than before. I know on TV people talk their way into hospitals all the time, but that doesn't actually happen irl. In the US and UK there are huge fines for the hospital if m it does happen, so report that c**p if it does.
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