It's frustrating when people socialise and claim they're too poor to join in and expect others to pick up the tab, but all of the scenarios described seem perfectly reasonable. The boyfriends approach to her money feels like more of a red flag than her own behaviour.

NTA. Too many people don't take 'no' for an answer, especially from women, and saying "I can't afford that" is a barrier they can't negotiate. Women regularly get charged more for services like car repairs, and this is a smart way to make them honor original estimates.

NTA. She didnt blatantly exploit or took advantage of anyone. They r just little white lies thats used more as a defence mechanism against being taken advantaged of. About the mechanic, he should have called her the moment he realised more work then expected needed to be done (if its actually true) to see if she was agreeable - it is more than double the original quote after all! .

Sales people will be pushy if they know that you have the money to spend on whatever they're selling. As long as this girl isn't using that excuse to get other people to buy her stuff I don't see the problem. Some people just won't take no for an answer unless they thing you actually dont have the money.

It's nobody's business if you can or cant afford something or how much money you make. If you find it easier to get sales people off your back by using that excuse, do it! Sales people lie constantly and don't think twice about it. Although if your lies spill into the relationship and the shared costs that would be an issue. I'm sure that is what the boyfriend is worried about; what other lies there might be.

Avoiding upsells is a NTA move easily. I do wonder if there are other instances that aren't being mentioned that may be different though. If these are the only times then your boyfriend needs to not be so uptight.

The only way to stop the mlm pushy people is to say you're broke or they will try to take every penny you have

I think she shouldn't have to spend the money but I feel the boyfriend just wants her to stop using that excuse and just say no

Get out of that relationship pronto

I thought the topic was going to be the usual "each time I agree to buy something on Craigslist, I make people drive it over then hold out for a lower price than agreed; they usually accept so their trip wasn't wasted" situation. But the garage is obviously just milking for extra cash; they try and have no problem folding quickly as it's not costing them anything. The other two are just lazy lies; not a real problem --- I don't owe telling the truth to some pushy salesman/evangelist/shouting weirdo in the street; whatever deescalates is fine. But telling acquaintances you're broke when you aren't is crossing the line.

NTA. But what the hell kinda auto shop is she going to?! If I quote a job at $150 I can go 10-20% maybe 30% over without notifying the customer, but if I tried to double the original estimate WITHOUT calling to verify with the customer, first I'd feel like s**t because I'm generally an honest person, but my boss would ream me a new one and we'd probably lose a customer. Get you an new mechanic honey.

I've lied like a sidewalk a LOT because people take one look at a woman and assume they can rip us off because we're "too stupid" to know what car repairs/house repairs/appliances etc. actually cost. It's an ugly thing that people do to screw us over because we're "just women". ...///... I've gotten to the point that I will dress down, not wear jewelry, and keep my head down just so that people won't harass me to spend money that I don't want to spend. ..../// ... The boyfriend is a tin plated asshole for whining about this. She needs to DTMFA and NOW.

I used to do that, now that I'm older and bolder (quoting somebody on PB) I have learned just say no repeatly when needed and stand on my ground.

This is tricky. 1. The mechanic should have called to check back if the new price was acceptable, but pretending to not being able to afford it was too much. 2. New dishwasher: Just tell the seller what you want and if he annoys you with upselling, just say "This is what I want. Sell me this or I will go." 3. Pyramid scheme: This is the only case where I would have considered to tell that I cannot afford it, as it does not offend the host. (Although I know that I should not have to cater to his feelings after he set it up as a trap.) I can understand why her boyfriend is uncomfortable with her behavior. When you constantly tell people you are broke, but your lifestyle doesn't reflect it, people will judge your character.

You should already see how people treat you when you dress not shabby, theh think you have money when you just have taste, and if you actually make money they want w cut. They expect you to pick up the tab for any coffee or w.e you have. The car thing was legitimate. Don't quote some one 150 then charge them triple.

ditch out the boyfriend.. with his attitude... he will make u really become broke in the future...

Ok the first example I'm a little wishy washy about but the other two seem perfectly reasonable. I guess you could be more firm without lying though

If people disrespect you, ignore your "no" and try coercing you into to things you don't want- feel free to lie! They earned it. It's a much better strategy than letting them mop the floor with you, or getting into a fight

I'm sorry, that's trashy though.

Yeah. This is how people with money keep the money. The rich stay rich. I have known this my whole life. It was always " let's split the cost" even if the richer person bought more, ate more or ordered the more expensive thing.

AH because this behaviour will sour people to giving actually poor people a break if found out. Be honest and confront people if they charge you to much or want to pull you into a dodgy thing. Lying about will come back to bite you.

Your money, spend it how you see fit. People back off pretty quickly when you say you are broke so go for it. The car repair bothers me a bit though. My car place will call me with the final price before starting and that is what this place should have done. I don't like the idea of just not paying them for a service. But part of that is on the repair shop. Other than that, the rest seemed fine.

I think being clear about your disposition and expectations would be much better - like when taking the car to the shop, specifying that they quoted you this amount and do not do anything else to my car than the work quoted without my approval. Or at the appliances store, just say... my budget is maximum this amount, what can I get for that amount or less? The boyfriend also didn't help by taking her to a pyramid scheme bullshit party, what was she supposed to say to his friend? You're an idiot for getting involved in a pyramid scheme and I'm staying well out of it so please stop trying to rope me in?

Fine with the mechanic. He gave a quote, and it looks like he was trying to pull a fast one. The dishwasher salesman, I had the same sort of thing when I needed to buy a new TV and I told them I already have household insurance when they tried to sell me an extended warranty (I used to sell them and quit as soon as I discovered how much of a scam they are) and when they tried to sell me a 'faster' HDMI cable I asked them if it was fibre optic. They said no, and I said then it's not measurably faster as it is basically the same wire as the ones I have at home. Trust me, an HDMI cable is the same as a 4K HDMI cable. It's the equipment that determines the speed and the difference is imperceptible. Finally, the fake party... they lied first by saying it was a party. OP should have just walked out. As for the boyfriend, tell him he can spend his own money on the extras, but you won't be funding him. See how long it takes for him to change his tune.

His perception is his reality, a dishwasher salesman has know idea about your situation besides what you tell him. It’s all in his head and he needs to change his perception. If the GF isn’t around this guy is a perfect mark for a salesman.

yeah, i suppose that her troubles made sense, but she was still being dishonest and her boyfriend despised it. at least she didn't use him for the money

I didn't find any of these examples unreasonable. I have never feind "being broke" in order to get a pushy sales person from selling me something I don't want but, whatever works. Maybe the BF feels she is being a Karen? The mechanic example she was kinda exhibiting borderline Karen qualities.

In the examples listed, there is a legitimate reason for not wanting to cough up the extra money, especially the first one. Sure maybe you could make the argument that she wasn't just being forthright right saying I'd rather not spend the money in the other 2 examples instead of saying I don't have it, but this is definitely not a broke act.

What a b**ch. Makes people truly are unable to reasonably afford things look bad.

This woman was NEGOTIATING, not LYING. In each of the situations she mentions, she was dealing with someone UNSCRUPULOUS (and, yes, having a bait-and-switch party for a pyramid scheme is unscrupulous); people who were alreadt lying to her. Not explicitly telling people the truth is pretty much how 'negotiating' is DONE.. The REAL problem - for her boyfriend and everyone criticizing her - is that she's a WOMAN negotiating by using their pre-conceived ideas of her (that she's single, so probably broke) or how women behave (like not lying or being a good negotiator). To hell with all of them; go make that bank, baby!!