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“It’s So Hard To Make Friends”: Woman Breaks Down After Throwing Lavish Party That No One Went To
A woman tearfully shared the disappointing outcome of a party she had organized in an attempt to bond with potential new friends.
Taking to her TikTok page on December 29, Beka Gillis uploaded a video in which she revealed that nearly all of the friends she had invited to her vision board party canceled on her at the last minute.
Highlights
- A woman named Beka Gillis saw all her guests cancel her vision board party last minute.
- After relocating, Beka struggled to find a community in Sacramento, USA.
- Beka's TikTok video amassed 1.3M views and received support.
In the now-viral clip, which has since amassed 1.3 million views, Beka exclaimed: “I’m so sad right now, bestie,” before admitting that she had sent out invitations to her event to 30 women six weeks in advance.
“It is just so hard to make friends and build community when you’re in your 30s and in a place you’re not from, and that’s just what I’m trying to do,” Beka said.
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A woman tearfully shared the disappointing outcome of a party she had organized in an attempt to bond with potential new friends
Image credits: bekagillis
The 32-year-old wedding photographer had been hoping to bond with other women her age after relocating to Sacramento, California, from Atlanta, Georgia, USA.
Nevertheless, after spending “so much time and so much money preparing for this party,” only seven RSVPed.
Then, Beka faced even more negative news, as she explained in her video: “I woke up to five of them bailing this morning, and now the second to last one just texted and said they can’t make it either, so I have all this and no party.”
Image credits: bekagillis
The TikToker further explained: “It’s just discouraging. I don’t blame anyone. It’s just discouraging, and I’m sad because I just wanna build friendships and community so bad, and I just put in so much work to do it, and I’ve been trying for years doing stuff like this, and it just doesn’t seem to stick.”
She concluded: “I’m still gonna make my vision board though; we still got goals, we’re still gonna crush them. I’m just sad right now; I just need to cry.”
A vision board is a collage of images, words, and symbols that represent a person’s goals, dreams, and aspirations. It’s also known as a dream board or goal board.
Beka Gillis took to her TikTok page on December 29
Image credits: bekagillis
Hundreds of people consequently rushed to the video’s comments to express their support, with many offering to meet with Beka.
Others shared useful suggestions, as a TikTok user commented: “I would gather your things and call a woman’s shelter or nursing home and go enjoy time with them; I know it’s not what you wanted but it would totally make their day.”
A person wrote: “I think we’ve over normalized ‘I don’t feel like going, so I’m going to cancel’ I rarely want to go to the thing at the time of the thing.
Image credits: bekagillis
“But I am always thankful afterward that I made myself go.”
Someone else penned: “Do it virtually! We will join.”
“I appreciate your vulnerability so many of us have internalized this feeling, especially in our 30s, with similar experiences,” a netizen added. “You’ve gained so many besties.”
She revealed that nearly all of the friends she had invited to her vision board party canceled on her at the last minute
@bekagillisnot me posting on my stories about how excited i am for everyone to end up bailing 🥲♬ original sound – Beky from Lizzie McGuire
A commentator noted: “Maybe this was the universe saying- you are meant to do this on a bigger scale for EVERYONE who is just like you.
“Creating the virtual versions, incredible!!!”
A viewer stated: “I am an introvert and a homebody. This was a good message for me to hear.
Image credits: bekagillis
“I always think me not showing is not a big deal and no one will miss me, but if everyone feels that way this is what happens.”
A separate individual chimed in: “Normalize following through. I’m sorry that happened sis.”
Beka is reportedly single and has always desired to make deep connections in a community setting.
In the now-viral clip, which has since amassed 1.3 million views, Beka exclaimed: “I’m so sad right now, bestie”
Image credits: bekagillis
She told People on Friday (January 10): “I just feel like it’s so important. We weren’t meant to walk the world alone.
“I moved from Atlanta to Sacramento right after the pandemic. I had a wonderful community life I’d built in Atlanta and I was missing that.
“I got super depressed and in a dark hole for a few years, and I just started doing anything I could to climb back out of it.”
@bekagillis Replying to @Soul Alignment Mentor LLC ♬ original sound – Beky from Lizzie McGuire
In recent months, Beka had reportedly focused on trying to meet “other like-minded women” and found that while there were positive interactions at various events, the connections weren’t lasting beyond them.
She explained: “Everyone’s kind of settled with their friends and in their ways.
“And, you know, it’s understandable at a certain point in life, but it still sucks, you know?
After spending “so much time and so much money preparing for this party,” only seven RSVPed
Image credits: bekagillis
“But my mom has always said to me like, ‘If you can’t find it, go create it.’ And so, that was kind of what I was trying to do.”
Feeling discouraged after her vision board party fell through, Beka explained that she had turned to TikTok as an outlet and was subsequently overwhelmed by support from hundreds of commenters urging her to host a virtual gathering.
She ended up doing just that, and on Saturday (January 11), Beka hosted her first virtual vision board party on TikTok Live.
Image credits: bekagillis
In a new TikTok video, she announced that the virtual meeting had been a success and that she was already planning on hosting a second one.
“Not everyone has community,” Beka told People. “I like being the kind of person to connect people.”
She continued: “Not everyone puts themselves out there like I do or tries to talk to people.
Beka ended up organizing a virtual event
@bekagillisI’m shaking. I feel so honored. I can’t believe how quickly it’s filling up.♬ ur the secret recipe – david kushner
“Since I am able to do that, why not cultivate that space for them? It felt like a no-brainer.”
According to the Adulting Reddit community, there are several ways to make friends in your 30s.
While some suggested joining a class, others swore by volunteering or joining a book club.
Image credits: bekagillis
Moreover, a Redditor shared: “If you have a hobby that is done in groups, go do the hobby in public.
“It is the best ice breaker, and as things shake out, you find one or two worth hanging out with.
“I knit it took me 4 tries to find one where the average age was under 60.”
Bored Panda has contacted Beka for comment.
Beka’s video continued to draw positive feedback
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What do you think ?
Weltschmerz 19 hours ago (edited)
I feel this. I struggle to make friends anyway due to my neurodivergence and I just want people to chill with, have a glass of wine with and a laugh! I don't know if it's just me or people are so much less receptive to friendship these days but it's really truly hard . I feel so lonely day to day. 😔
Featherytoad 18 hours ago (edited)
We are a lot more uninhibited when we are young. When we get older, we are more self conscious. Basically, we are very much unabashed when we are young and don't really give a s**t. Fast forward 20 years and we are to scared to be ourselves because of scrutiny.
Load More Replies...
Schmebulock 18 hours ago
You have better luck going out to make friends than having them over to your house. There is way more involved with going to someone's house than attending an event at a public place. Plus people at an event have already shown they are into that thing enough to leave their house for it.
Ms.GB 17 hours ago
Yeah, joining a group or taking a fun class is a good way to meet people.
Load More Replies...
rainy_days (fae/faer) 17 hours ago
If you don't like parties and don't want to come, don't RSVP yes in the first place? If you don't want to say 'i don't like party' you could very well be visiting family or something. White lies, but spare expectations. because 8people did NOT all have an emergency. I get not being into the people-ing thing, but there's a minimum of human decency and awareness to be had.
Weltschmerz 19 hours ago (edited)
I feel this. I struggle to make friends anyway due to my neurodivergence and I just want people to chill with, have a glass of wine with and a laugh! I don't know if it's just me or people are so much less receptive to friendship these days but it's really truly hard . I feel so lonely day to day. 😔
Featherytoad 18 hours ago (edited)
We are a lot more uninhibited when we are young. When we get older, we are more self conscious. Basically, we are very much unabashed when we are young and don't really give a s**t. Fast forward 20 years and we are to scared to be ourselves because of scrutiny.
Load More Replies... Schmebulock 18 hours ago
You have better luck going out to make friends than having them over to your house. There is way more involved with going to someone's house than attending an event at a public place. Plus people at an event have already shown they are into that thing enough to leave their house for it.
Ms.GB 17 hours ago
Yeah, joining a group or taking a fun class is a good way to meet people.
Load More Replies... rainy_days (fae/faer) 17 hours ago
If you don't like parties and don't want to come, don't RSVP yes in the first place? If you don't want to say 'i don't like party' you could very well be visiting family or something. White lies, but spare expectations. because 8people did NOT all have an emergency. I get not being into the people-ing thing, but there's a minimum of human decency and awareness to be had.
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