If I were the last YTA's girlfriend, I'd get seriously suspicious of him after such an unhinged rant. Seriously, language skills develop over time, so anyone expecting "I don't speak X" to remain true forever is a complete nincompoop. And whether or not one considers themselves capable of speaking a language is a tricky question, anyway. Some people refuse to call themselves capable of speaking a language because they could not hold a literary discussion, others proudly proclaim they can speak five languages even though they can only ask for directions to the loo and hope the reply is accompanied by hand gestures.

ROFL. Secret language speakers shouldn't be overly confident. I've lived in and hung around groups of different combinations of language speakers, and the non-language speakers can pick up a fair amount from extrapolation of context and body language. Even dogs trained up in one language can pick up commands in another language quite quickly. It does vary with the individual, with both species.

The story has a happy end, but it's kinda sad to read that the poster actually doubted whether she was right or wrong. As if cheating is in the same league as not disclosing you can rudimentary understand another language.

BP just gave me a fúcking ad for paid, ad-free subscriptions

Seriously??? How low does your self esteem have to be to think you could possibly be the AH in this situation?

French native speaker here, married to an American, just saying for the context. You really should have told him that you understand French but this is a different problem. He would have cheated on you no matter what and the situation just changed how you discovered it.

My jaw literally dropped when I got to the part where he said he couldn't trust her!

The YTAs are again out in force to bully or troll a really nice person!! F**k off AHs and go and make someone else's life a misery MFs Your boyfriend is gaslighting you because HE and HE alone did the dirty!!! If you stay with him then you'll be the AH!! Respect yourself girl!! You're worth more than this c**t!!!!!

Hilarious attempt by the BF to make her the villain! And, yeah, the YTA/ESH folks are unhinged. I ‘speak’ four languages including English but because I’m English everyone assumes that’s the only language I speak. As is always the case, passive understanding is way better than my ability to actively communicate in the other languages, so I don’t go around telling folks I speak [whatever]. It has led to a few funny situations where someone assumes I can’t understand them and makes unpleasant comments only to be shocked when I tell them in their own language that they shouldn’t be so rude. Oddly enough the funniest instance I remember clearly was in Germany but the gotcha was English. On a student exchange, the girl and I were out walking, aged 15-16, having a conversation in German, when a couple of Brit squaddies walking behind us started a conversation about which one of us they preferred and what they wanted to do… After a couple of comments that went way beyond acceptable, I turned to them and said, “Well, I suppose you two are about to feel really stupid. First, just because we’re in Germany, you thought both us girls are German. Second, German kids start learning English years before we start learning foreign languages at home, so assuming they don’t understand you really is dumb.” Cue two very red faces and, give them their due, both said they were very sorry. I feel I should also mention it looked like they were between 18-21 and my German friend was at least 5’7”, I’ve little doubt they thought we were older. Ulrike was practically crying with laughter.

If there was no cheating involved and she'd caught him planning a surprise for her instead, making the question just AITA for hiding that I understand French from my boyfriend of three years, in the context of living in the UK and taking lessons with a plan to tell him when she's confident, I would say NTA and that the boyfriend was TA for overreacting. So I have no idea where the YTAs and ESHs are coming from.

When people don’t like the truth they confront what reveals it. He believes you understanding him is the problem.

It doesn't matter what language she speaks, he flat out admitted to cheating on her while she was in the room. The YTA votes always confuse me.

tell that french slût to fûck off back where he came from

WHAT IS DARVO!!???

All those (probably cheating) AHs calling her YTA/ESH. Showing their colours, eh? Hopefully he hasn't given her an STD. If I were here, I'd def go to a local clinic and have a test. What a nasty bastard. The OP (NTA) shouldn't feel guilty. I was pretty good at listening/reading French, but with my Shropshire accent, it sounded horrible, so I don't blame her. I expect, as she was still practising verbally, was probably going to surprise him when she was confident enough speak it.

You are joking right? You caught him cheating? lol you still want him back? I'm sorry but wow....you have got to be smarter than that?