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Mom Refuses To Change Baby’s Name After Husband’s Stepmom Declares It “Hurts Her Feelings”

Mom Refuses To Change Baby’s Name After Husband’s Stepmom Declares It “Hurts Her Feelings”

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Naming a baby is supposed to be one of those magical, heartwarming moments, like picking a puppy, but with way more pressure. Yet somehow, it always turns into a spectator sport, with everyone from your aunt Nancy to the mailman chiming in.

Then there’s the inevitable drama: someone’s offended because you didn’t name your kid after them, and someone else thinks the name sounds too weird. And trust me, some people take it way too far. Just like our Redditor’s husband’s stepmom who somehow feels like our couple should name their baby after her. The entitlement? Unmatched. The audacity? Endless.

More info: Reddit

Naming a baby is like picking a favorite song; everyone has an opinion, but only the parents get to hit play

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

One woman is accused of being cruel to her husband’s stepmom because she refuses to change her baby’s name to honor her

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Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The woman and her husband name their baby after his late mom, but the stepmom is furious as she always hated her and is demanding they change the name

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Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: ElectricalLeague1580

The new mom refuses to change her baby’s name because the stepmom says it “hurts her feelings” and calls her “rude and disgusting” for it

Our OP (original poster) and her husband welcomed their baby girl and decided to name her after husband’s late mom, who passed away when he was a child. Sweet, right? A touching tribute to his mom and clearly a name that means a lot to the OP’s husband.

But then there’s Sharon, the father-in-law’s wife, and the walking embodiment of “it’s not about me, but let’s make it about me.” Sharon and the mom had a feud that could rival Game of Thrones.

According to Sharon—aka The Wicked Stepmom—Mom was downright diabolical, laughed at her miscarriages, called CPS (child protective services) on her, and generally plotted her downfall. Pretty intense accusations, Sharon. To me, it sounds like this lady has watched a few too many telenovelas.

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The husband’s extended family, the true keepers of the tea, say it’s all wildly exaggerated. They claim the two women simply didn’t get along, with Sharon maybe playing the drama card a little too liberally.

Plus, the husband’s relationship with his dad and wicked stepmom has been rocky for years. When the mom passed away, he even banned them from attending the funeral, threatening to run away if they dared to show up.

So, when the OP’s daughter was born, she and her husband decided to name her after his mom, since the husband was close to her. But this decision made Sharon lose her cool. She and Dad found out via social media (already awkward) and decided to confront the OP by ambushing her at the mall—of all places.

The request? Change the baby’s name because it hurts Sharon’s feelings. The justification? Sharon’s been “here all this time” and deserves recognition. I don’t know about you, but I’d be furious at this point.

But our OP, being the no-nonsense legend she clearly is, shut it down fast. She told them, point-blank, that changing her child’s name to spare Sharon’s feelings wasn’t even remotely on the table. Then she dipped out, leaving Sharon and Dad stewing in a broth of their own entitlement.

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Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Now, the OP and her husband are being bombarded with texts, accusing our new mom of being “rude and disgusting” for dismissing Sharon’s feelings. Too far, Sharon, too far.

But let’s be real: was Sharon ever going to be happy with the name? Probably not. And let’s not forget, this isn’t just a random name, it’s a tribute to someone incredibly important to the family. Plus, picking a baby name is an incredibly personal decision and it shouldn’t involve anyone other than the parents—especially entitled, estranged relatives.

To find out more about how parents generally choose baby names, Bored Panda reached out to Sophie Kihm, the editor-in-chief at Nameberry. She told us that parents use various methods to select a baby’s name, and are often guided by cultural traditions or personal values. Many are influenced by family customs, such as passing down names, while others prioritize reflecting their beliefs about individuality or identity.

We wanted to know if it is common for parents to name their babies after a loved one who has passed away. Kihm explained that “Naming a baby after a loved one who passed away is commonplace in some cultures, such as the Ashkenazi Jewish community. Many parents who name their children after deceased loved ones report positive feelings, because the name reminds them of the person who passed away.”

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We asked Kihm how parents can explain the emotional importance of the baby name they chose to family members who feel excluded or upset. She told us that honor names can sometimes cause misunderstandings or hurt feelings, but these emotions are often short-lived.

A straightforward explanation usually helps, such as expressing their deep connection to the person being honored, for example, “I had a really close relationship with grandpa and I have always loved his name.” It’s also helpful to clarify that the choice may be influenced by the name’s appeal, not just the relationship.

We also asked if there are ways to involve family in the naming process without compromising on deeply personal choices. Kihm suggested that it’s not a really a good idea to do so.

“Involving the family in the naming process can open up a can of worms, so know yourself and know your family! If you are the type of person who is easily swayed by others or your family is especially critical, it might be best to keep the name discussion between you and your partner,” she advised.

What are your thoughts on this story? Let us know in the comments.

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Netizens say the woman is not a jerk for refusing to change her baby’s name, pointing out the entitlement of both the dad and stepmom

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Monica Selvi

Monica Selvi

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

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Monica Selvi

Monica Selvi

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

Read less »

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Rūta Zumbrickaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

How do you feel about the couple's decision to name their baby after the husband's late mother?
Add photo comments
POST
Vinnie
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the YTA who said that going no-contact will lead to the OP's own children doing the same: not necessarily. For one thing, it's possible that they're saving their baby from difficult grandparents. For another, some people become good parents in part because they have an example of what NOT to do. The one precaution: don't go to the other extreme in raising children (example: someone with too-strict parents not disciplining their own children when needed).

Libstak
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll go one further. That will never happen as Sharon is a narcissistic b***h who cannot comprehend that this son loves the mother who gave birth to him and that's his right and his choice and her manipulative tactics are disgusting. As Sharon is a hateful personality and son and wife are not, I can't see this being repeated.

Load More Replies...
Angela C
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whatever went on between Sharon and OP's husband's mom is irrelevant. That's his MOM. Who he loved and was close to and wanted to honor. Sharon needs to learn that everything isn't about her (but sadly people like that seldom do)

mp7dvnrw85
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t care if the woman was the most awful person in existence, if your stepson’s mother dies when he’s 8 the only things you say about her to her son are ‘she loved you very much, she would have wanted to be here to see you graduate/marry/become a father and she would have been so proud of you.’ That’s it. Vent to your therapist, your partner or your friends but whatever went on between adults when she was alive shouldn’t be brought up in front of her child, even when he’s grown.

Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do not get along with my sons' birth mom (I've honestly not really met her that often which was her choice). I did not like her or even the way she would treat the kids. They both turned 18 and we are relieved because neither live with her any longer. However, if one is to have a child and name it after her or some other close tie to her, that is their choice. It's their child and their life.

Dizzie D
Community Member
20 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine your Father dumping your Mom and going off with narcissistic Sharon and then your Mom dies when you are 8 and narcissistic Sharon wants you to erase your Mom and call her Mom instead. Sharon is a b***h

notlikeyou1971
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can see why nobody likes Sharon. She has a lot of nerve demanding that someone changes a baby's name because she doesn't like it. Guess what Sharon? THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU! GET OVER YOURSELF!

Lailu
Community Member
9 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure what the problem is when hubby doesn’t even particularly like Shazza anyway and was close with his MIL. All for not hurting peoples’ feelings but as one of the replies said, the baby isn’t being named AT you. NC with Shazza please.

zims
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this telling is wildly skewed against the stepmom, it's entirely likely that the husband's ex was mean to her and turned the kid against them. Imagine not being able to attend the funeral of a woman you loved and had a child with because an 8-year-old had a tantrum and threatened to run away. Imagine not being able to bring your child home to live with you because he's so unstable you're scared he'd hurt his infant siblings. It sounds like the ex and her kid has brought Sharon nothing but pain despite her efforts to be a mom. That said, Sharon definitely has main character syndrome, and way overstepped on the baby name thing. I think it'd be better for everyone if both sides went NC.

Occam's Chainsaw
Community Member
16 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad you mentioned the skewed telling. True, it's a little wild to suggest a name change under most circumstances, but nothing in this post suggests that Sharon is an awful person. Sure, go no contact--the plan wasn't to be close with them anyway. But it sounds like the OP's husband struggled with having a stepmother as a kid (normal), and instead of helping him adapt, his dad just gave into the tantrums and let the negative relationship fester for 20 years. Again, it doesn't justify a request to change the name, but I'm not seeing much in the 20 years prior that was so awful.

Load More Replies...
Vinnie
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the YTA who said that going no-contact will lead to the OP's own children doing the same: not necessarily. For one thing, it's possible that they're saving their baby from difficult grandparents. For another, some people become good parents in part because they have an example of what NOT to do. The one precaution: don't go to the other extreme in raising children (example: someone with too-strict parents not disciplining their own children when needed).

Libstak
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll go one further. That will never happen as Sharon is a narcissistic b***h who cannot comprehend that this son loves the mother who gave birth to him and that's his right and his choice and her manipulative tactics are disgusting. As Sharon is a hateful personality and son and wife are not, I can't see this being repeated.

Load More Replies...
Angela C
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whatever went on between Sharon and OP's husband's mom is irrelevant. That's his MOM. Who he loved and was close to and wanted to honor. Sharon needs to learn that everything isn't about her (but sadly people like that seldom do)

mp7dvnrw85
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t care if the woman was the most awful person in existence, if your stepson’s mother dies when he’s 8 the only things you say about her to her son are ‘she loved you very much, she would have wanted to be here to see you graduate/marry/become a father and she would have been so proud of you.’ That’s it. Vent to your therapist, your partner or your friends but whatever went on between adults when she was alive shouldn’t be brought up in front of her child, even when he’s grown.

Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do not get along with my sons' birth mom (I've honestly not really met her that often which was her choice). I did not like her or even the way she would treat the kids. They both turned 18 and we are relieved because neither live with her any longer. However, if one is to have a child and name it after her or some other close tie to her, that is their choice. It's their child and their life.

Dizzie D
Community Member
20 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine your Father dumping your Mom and going off with narcissistic Sharon and then your Mom dies when you are 8 and narcissistic Sharon wants you to erase your Mom and call her Mom instead. Sharon is a b***h

notlikeyou1971
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can see why nobody likes Sharon. She has a lot of nerve demanding that someone changes a baby's name because she doesn't like it. Guess what Sharon? THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU! GET OVER YOURSELF!

Lailu
Community Member
9 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure what the problem is when hubby doesn’t even particularly like Shazza anyway and was close with his MIL. All for not hurting peoples’ feelings but as one of the replies said, the baby isn’t being named AT you. NC with Shazza please.

zims
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this telling is wildly skewed against the stepmom, it's entirely likely that the husband's ex was mean to her and turned the kid against them. Imagine not being able to attend the funeral of a woman you loved and had a child with because an 8-year-old had a tantrum and threatened to run away. Imagine not being able to bring your child home to live with you because he's so unstable you're scared he'd hurt his infant siblings. It sounds like the ex and her kid has brought Sharon nothing but pain despite her efforts to be a mom. That said, Sharon definitely has main character syndrome, and way overstepped on the baby name thing. I think it'd be better for everyone if both sides went NC.

Occam's Chainsaw
Community Member
16 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad you mentioned the skewed telling. True, it's a little wild to suggest a name change under most circumstances, but nothing in this post suggests that Sharon is an awful person. Sure, go no contact--the plan wasn't to be close with them anyway. But it sounds like the OP's husband struggled with having a stepmother as a kid (normal), and instead of helping him adapt, his dad just gave into the tantrums and let the negative relationship fester for 20 years. Again, it doesn't justify a request to change the name, but I'm not seeing much in the 20 years prior that was so awful.

Load More Replies...
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