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Woman Accuses Grieving Husband Of Ruining A Work Xmas Gala For Her, Gets A Reality Check
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Woman Accuses Grieving Husband Of Ruining A Work Xmas Gala For Her, Gets A Reality Check

Woman Accuses Grieving Husband Of Ruining A Work Xmas Gala For Her, Gets A Reality CheckWoman Gets Dragged Online After Forcing Grieving Husband To Attend Fancy Work EventWoman Drags Her Grieving Husband To Her Work Event And Gets Mad He's Not Socializing“Hadn't Had A ‘Date Night’ In Almost 6 Months”: Woman Drags Grieving Husband To Work Xmas GalaMan Sulks His Way Through Wife’s Work Party, Woman Wonders If She Was Wrong For Making Him Go“Has No Energy”: Woman Called Out For Pressuring Grieving Husband To Attend Corporate EventWoman Drags Her Grieving Husband To A Black-Tie Event, Is Disappointed He's Not CheerfulMan Blames Wife For “Dragging” Him To Her Work Event After Major Loss In The FamilyWoman ‘Makes’ Grieving Husband Attend Work Christmas Gala, Is Disappointed He’s Not Having FunWoman Is Mad At Grieving Husband For Sulking At Her Black-Tie Event That He Didn't Want To Attend
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The art of compromise is key to any successful relationship, from business to romance. Most of us might agree to this in theory, but actually agreeing to not do what you want is a lot harder in practice. So hard, in fact, that sometimes we don’t even understand where we should have compromised.

A woman asked the internet if she was wrong for requesting that her husband come to her black-tie corporate event, despite the fact that he was still grieving the death of his uncle. Netizens did their best to show her the error of her ways.

Sometimes you have to set your desires aside for your partner

Image credits: Nejron / Envato (not the actual photo)

But one woman decided to make her husband attend a corporate event even though he was grieving

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Image credits: Zinkevych_D / Envato (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: blacktieaita

A successful relationship often means knowing how to manage disagreements

Being in a relationship with someone, even someone you love does mean putting up with their wants and needs. Anything less isn’t really a relationship anymore, just the demands of a narcissist. Because one has to be pretty delusional to believe that they themselves don’t have any “annoying” traits or desires that someone else has to deal with.

There will be times when, despite your love for your partner, you will want something that they don’t. Similarly, they may, at times, have requests or desires that you are opposed to. Ultimately, successful relationships are the ones that can actually navigate these waters. Because, no matter how much you might have in common, people are ultimately different and want different things at different times.

The ability to resolve conflict often becomes more important than the ability to avoid it. It is good to have some empathy and social grace, but at the same time, conflict is unavoidable. This story is a classic case of that, it was downright horrible luck that OP’s husband’s uncle passed in so close to an event that was important to her. The lesson is that sometimes you need to set aside something you want because it’s not the right time.

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There are also bad compromises

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

However, this isn’t necessarily a rule that is set in stone. There are good and bad compromises. A good compromise requires a lot of honesty, both with yourself and with your partner. It also needs good communication and some willingness to hear the other party out. Without any of these aspects, a compromise just ends up creating more resentment down the road.

Resentment is the poison that ends up killing perfectly salvageable relationships. It builds and builds and turns the smallest fights into pitched battles, where the past is weaponized and love forgotten. It’s easy to fall into this trap, where you internally present a compromise as “I’ll make this sacrifice,” which paints you as a victim and your partner as now being in debt to you.

This is why “compromise” isn’t a silver bullet, since it can be just as dangerous when mismanaged. OP’s situation, based on the limited evidence we are given, perhaps has both parties making “sacrifices” they aren’t entirely happy with. They don’t seem to spend that much time together as at least OP would want.

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Sometimes you need to set aside what you want

Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Instead of exploring it, this fact is weaponized by OP to get what she wants even when her husband is clearly going through a lot. She isn’t wrong to feel frustrated about not having date nights with her husband. But this is not the way to go about it. If you are using pressure and veiled threats to get your partner to do something that you believe you deserve, there is something deeper wrong with the relationship.

It’s also hard to let go when you are excited about a plan that you have put a lot of effort into. OP was excited about this event and it simply sucks when plans fall through. The timing of OP’s uncle’s passing is unfortunate and unfair, but life isn’t fair. Maintaining a good relationship means embracing reality, and that includes the understanding that no matter how hard you try, sometimes things don’t go your way.

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Readers, whose comments you can find below, generally sided against OP, but there were a decent number of dissenting voices. If anything, this just reflects how hard it can be to manage a relationship, desires, and perspectives. Hopefully, OP could read through these comments and reflect a bit. More importantly, hopefully, she talks to her husband and figures these things out.

OP shared some more information with the readers

Many commenters thought OP was being a jerk

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But some thought the husband’s communication was lacking as well

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A select few readers thought both were to blame

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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Justin Sandberg

Justin Sandberg

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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Sonja
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The use of the word 'funcle' says it all. Also nowhere did she say that the uncle died unexpectedly, and still she complained that they didn't have a date in 6 months. And that makes me wonder. I think the uncle was already sick quite a while and his death didn't come unexpectedly. He suffered and inevitably died. But she was too exited about her work event to see any of that. Her husband had to deal with the rejection of his father who never cared for him, and another relative stepped up and became his father figure. And now this person died and he's grieving. But his wife can't bother to be there, oh no. She calles the man who gave him back his feelings of being wanted and became his father figure a fun uncle to minimise their relationship and demands that he socialises a week after burying him. As if he'd just flushed a goldfish. That's despicable. If it was the woman grieving her beloved aunt and the man making that demand for a work event, everyone would pile on him.

John O'Donnell
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To all those people who think she isn't in the wrong, I hope you get exactly what you deserve.

Mysteria
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fr. People like that are why it’s so hard for a ton of dudes to open up. Like the husband lost a loved one and is a bad person for being upset???

Load More Replies...
TheDag
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow those NTA comments at the end really threw me a curve ball, guy loses his father figure and he's the a*****e because the week after he couldn't "man up" for her black tie event.

Load More Comments
Sonja
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The use of the word 'funcle' says it all. Also nowhere did she say that the uncle died unexpectedly, and still she complained that they didn't have a date in 6 months. And that makes me wonder. I think the uncle was already sick quite a while and his death didn't come unexpectedly. He suffered and inevitably died. But she was too exited about her work event to see any of that. Her husband had to deal with the rejection of his father who never cared for him, and another relative stepped up and became his father figure. And now this person died and he's grieving. But his wife can't bother to be there, oh no. She calles the man who gave him back his feelings of being wanted and became his father figure a fun uncle to minimise their relationship and demands that he socialises a week after burying him. As if he'd just flushed a goldfish. That's despicable. If it was the woman grieving her beloved aunt and the man making that demand for a work event, everyone would pile on him.

John O'Donnell
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To all those people who think she isn't in the wrong, I hope you get exactly what you deserve.

Mysteria
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fr. People like that are why it’s so hard for a ton of dudes to open up. Like the husband lost a loved one and is a bad person for being upset???

Load More Replies...
TheDag
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow those NTA comments at the end really threw me a curve ball, guy loses his father figure and he's the a*****e because the week after he couldn't "man up" for her black tie event.

Load More Comments
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