Reading this is sad. I am so grateful to have found a good Dr. Yes I am obese, yes I need to lose weight (and I am trying) but he never dismisses any of my health concerns.

Uncommon Boston

Uncommon Boston

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I am not slender, a size 12 at 5'8". Yes, it would better if I lost weight. The last 4 times my mental health plummeted, I sought help and was told I MUST lose weight. This is after I tell them overeating is a coping method and a sign my mental health is failing and of my eating disorder. It is the worst thing to say. The power of words. I don't need a reminder of what some consider my biggest failure. In my family, weight = worth. If I am happy with myself, believe I have value, and am not feeling ashamed the weight could come off. I avoid having my picture taken. Whenever I see a picture I am shocked. Often I don't look as big as I am told, but remember how uncomfortable I felt, how ashamed I was to be to be out of control and irresponsible. I put effort into how I look, I try to care about it. Someone who has never had a weight problem can't understand how difficult this can be. My struggles are minor, my parents toxic. But if this what I face, imagine what others deal with.

Just two weeks ago: 28 year old college student I know went to ER with chest and arm pain. He was overweight. Drs diagnosed pinched nerves. He died the next night of a massive heart attack. The main arteries to his heart were completely blocked.

Had a combo of weight & age work against me. Had a pinched nerve in my low back & was getting leg & hip pain that felt like a pulled muscle at 1st. Dr told me it was probably due to my weight since i never really lost pregnancy weight from about 2yrs before. It got worse, to the point that i was getting leg cramps & numbness & he finally sent me for xrays but it showed nothing. Got worse again but all he wanted to do was more xrays. I asked about a nerve issue & he said i was too young at 29 for a pinched nerve. 3 more months of constant pain & I couldnt walk & could barely feel my foot. Saw a specialist (got in on a favor no less) & ended up with 2 pinched nerves & a ton of nerve damage. 10yrs later & still have almost no feeling in most of my foot & in different spots of my leg. Still get horrible pain in low back too

Oh look, another cadre of doctors who deserve to be disbarred from their job

The same thing happened with my older brother. They were constantly blaming his balance issues on him not being athletic. Turns out, he needed brain surgery and would've died if we hadn't begged them to run a diagnosis. By the way, he's completely fine now, no longer has balance or focus issues, and is the best older brother I could ask for!

When I was young I had to get glasses because I couldn't read what was written on the board in school. My eye doctor told me, a 7 year old girl, that I am lying and that I am just pretending to have bad eyesight because I wanted glasses. Please bitch, because the prescription glasses were so f*****g good-looking in the early 90s :D Never been back to that doctor ever...

YOU know your body better than anyone. If you're sure there is something wrong with it (unless you're a hypochondriac!), then trust your instinct. Push and push until you're heard. Don't always trust the docs: you've known your own body all your life, so aren't you the best qualified to notice when something feels scarily different than normal?

I had weight issues for most of my adult life in spite of a healthy & active lifestyle. Took getting diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes to discover I also had thyroid problems. Got my thyroid fixed, and wouldn't you know, dropped 65 lb almost magically. So in the end, all the doctors telling me to "just lose weight" were full of it.

A few years back I kept going to the doctors because I felt really sick and my temperature kept spiking at night up to 105 Fahrenheit (40.5 Celsius) but during the day my temperature was mild. Nurse told me I needed an new thermometer. So immediately after my appointment I bought one. That night it read 105. I was mad. Finally got tested and I had acute pneumonia in my upper left lung

Just so sad. I do think their is weight bias, but also I believe a bigger problem is being a woman and seeking medical care. I've had significant issues over the years and so hard to get proper attention for it. Years without diagnosis and you have to advocate for yourself consistently.

When it came to my husband having pains and swelling in his toes, they said it was his weight. I said it was gout. I insisted they test him...I was right. When my son was experiencing aggression with his autism, the Psychiatrist put him on Strattera and Fluoxetine. It made his symptoms worse. I begged them to put him on Risperidone. It took a court order for them to finally do it. My son is now a calm and happy adult. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Never ever let a doctor tell you that your symptoms are imagined or in relation to something without doing tests. It's your life and your body.

I had a similar experience. I joined a gym, went religiously 4 days a week & after 2 months had gained weight. I'll never forget the look on my trainers face at that check in "Uhm, yeah, I dunno. You should probably see a doctor." I went back to the doctor and found out I had Hashimoto's disease. You'd think the widespread fatigue, pain & hair loss would've bought me some credibility a little sooner but nope, just a year and multiple bills to keep being told I just need to lose weight. I also had plaque under both knees, toe joints that were fusing and two other auto immune diseases. Took years to be heard and losing weight only helped with some of the symptoms but by no means was a cure all.

My dad was a physician. He and his colleagues NEVER told a patient that their weight was the problem. That started in the late 60's when "fitness" became THE issue. Not health. Unfortunately all those doctors have either retired or died. Now you are supposed to fit into a mold before you are considered sick.

I had very bad health luck in 2020 - two brain surgeries, a cancer surgery (unrelated to the brain thing) and an abdominal surgery. A doctor in the last hospital said "four surgeries in one year, maybe it's time to start losing weight and taking care of yourself". Oh, did my weight make my brain fall out? And give me skin cancer? No? Then shove it.

I am so so so so apologizing on behalf of the medical care people around the world. Yes, you can have problems unrelated to one's BMI/weight/etc. I earned an MD, and I'm saying it. The amazing thing is how many doctors and others in the profession are themselves *overweight*, then treat patients crappy about weight issues.

As a patient you always have the option to insist on testing. If your doctor refuses , go to another one. Always know as much as you can about your health so you can self advocate. I'm sorry all that shitty stuff happened to you

I wonder how many doctors she saw who all said the same thing. If it were just the one then she definitely should've sought a second/third/fourth etc opinion. If it were several doctors and they were all saying the same thing, they should all be reported for medical negligence, ESPECIALLY if they said her endometriosis symptoms were due to her weight and because she had such drastic life changing surgeries that may or may not have been preventable.

Unpopular Opinion: I absolutely agree you should strongly advocate for yourself, and that there's no shortage of bad doctors (or bad receptionists, bad cashiers, bad nurses...) but it saddens me to see all the doctor hate. It's misplaced. Generally speaking they do the best they can with what they have, and when something is correct 999 times out of 1000, that's what you go with. Yeah, it means you're going to miss some, but with all the constraints on EVERYTHING from visit times to insurance capitation, it's literally impossible to do a 100% workup on every patient that rolls in feeling fatigued.