Tipping is deeply rooted in the restaurant industry. It’s seen as a way to help out servers and show your appreciation for their work. But, this practice that began in the 1800s has now warped into something almost unrecognizable where people are often damned if they do and damned if they don’t. 

This happened to a woman who wanted to leave her waitress a huge tip, only to be treated with suspicion by the Applebee’s manager. She shared exactly what went down at the restaurant, and people could not believe it. 

Black woman who just wanted to treat her family to a nice meal and tip her server well found herself being questioned by the restaurant manager because of the big tip

Image credits: _dawnmontgomery

Dawn Montgomery explained that she had taken her family out for dinner to an Applebee’s in Laurel, Mississippi

Before they even sat down to eat, Melissa, the waitress, shared that she was new and anxious about waiting on a large group. Dawn’s family was patient with her, and she decided to leave a $150 tip for Melissa. Usually, businesses love it when customers leave tips for their waitstaff since it helps them get away with not paying their employees well. But this time, the Applebee’s manager had a lot to say.

Image credits: _dawnmontgomery

The manager said that he would have to call corporate and confirm if they could “accept the tip amount,” which is why he also made Dawn sign the bill and leave her contact information

The woman was baffled by the manager’s behavior because she had never before been asked to do any of this just for leaving a big tip. She thought of asking a few other waiters in the restaurant if it was normal for corporate to follow such steps. They also said that the manager should have just confirmed the amount and not acted like her money was not going to go through.

Image credits: _dawnmontgomery

Image credits: _dawnmontgomery

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

“No one else in the restaurant wanted to wait on a party of 10-14 black people”

The poster was enraged by the incident and felt that the manager might have been racist for creating a scene about the money. She also observed and heard that other waiters refused to wait on their table just because they were black. Dawn tagged Applebee’s in her tweets to make sure corporate would know about her experience and also give Melissa the full tip.

Image credits: _dawnmontgomery

Image credits: _dawnmontgomery

Discrimination towards black diners is far more common than one would imagine 

It might be shocking to know that nearly one-third of the waitstaff at restaurants discriminate against African-American customers. They might ignore black diners, make them wait longer, and provide them with overall poor service. A study on this found that waiters mistakenly perceive African-American customers to be poor tippers or impolite, which is why they engage in such discriminatory practices.

It’s not just servers who hold these biases; one look at the comment section below Dawn’s post would show that other people also believe these racist stereotypes. The problem with these perceptions is that they can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If the waitstaff is treating a black family badly, then the customer might tip badly, therefore reinforcing the server’s idea.

This kind of racial profiling needs to stop because it creates a bad overall experience for everyone involved. Nobody wants to be discriminated against for their race or thought of in this way. In fact, Dawn and her family heard the mean comments against their group and still decided to stay to help out the new waitress.

Despite leaving a big tip, the poster was asked to prove it, maybe due to the manager’s own biases. But, people who worked as servers for years flooded her comments with support and mentioned that customers who were generous like her were the reason they could continue to work and look after their families. 

Another topic that people began discussing due to Dawn’s post was tipping culture. Although the poster was feeling exceptionally generous and left behind a tip that was over 50% of the bill, around 29% of Americans see tipping as an obligation. A survey also found that 40% of people don’t like it when businesses suggest tip amounts to their customers.

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To understand more about this phenomenon, Bored Panda reached out to Stephen Zagor, a consultant and educator who focuses on restaurants and the food business. He has extensive knowledge of the culinary industry and specializes in the business side of food enterprises. He explained that “tipping is based mostly on our emotional feelings at the dreaded moment of having to actually pay for the hopefully fun experience we just had.”

“Experience and emotion are the keys. Too often, we judge our dinner by the food and/or service, but [it] really includes our full appreciation of every sensory touch point [like] the atmosphere, seating, cleanliness, smell, sound, lighting, etc. Tips come from the heart but are focused on the server, who is the restaurant’s point of contact. In reality much of the experience is not in the server’s control. However, a great server can be a bright star and overshadow everything else,” Stephen added.

Image credits: Mike Kalasnik (not the actual photo)

Stephen Zagor explained a bit more about tipping culture stating that “tips in most states are an important part of the compensation, usually 15% is low up to 20%. A lower tip than 15% would be in the dreaded horror dining experience when all goes off the rails. Tipping is in our culture because it gives the diner a final bit of financial control to show our judgment of the experience.”

But, the reason why some people are just tired of paying tips is because of something called tipflation. It’s the phenomenon of constantly being asked to leave a tip even in places where it shouldn’t be expected, like self-checkout kiosks. People are tired of being hounded to pay extra money on top of their bills. In fact, folks would be more likely to be generous if it was a choice, rather than a guilt trip or an obligation. 

One interesting thing that folks pointed out about Dawn’s situation was that she paid the bill and the tip by card. According to CardFellow, “Tips added after a card is authorized may not be accepted by the card issuer, especially if the amount exceeds 20% of the original transaction. This means that there’s a potential risk for the restaurant if the bank declines the additional tip amount, leaving them on the hook for the difference.”

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Stephen shared his perspective on the manager’s reaction. He said: “from the restaurant’s view, management lets the customer help pay part of the cost of labor. As a former restaurant owner, if I saw a 50% tip on my employee check, I would love to hear why the experience was so great and what the server did for that to happen. Also sometimes a large tip can indicate a server was giving away food and the customer was ‘rewarding’ that bit of questionable conduct.”

It’s also possible that that’s one of the reasons why the manager made such a fuss about the money. All in all, Dawn’s family just wanted to enjoy a lovely dinner and be nice to their server. Instead, they were subjected to intense and unpleasant questioning. 

What do you think about the situation? Have you ever experienced anything like this?

People had a lot to say in the comments, some were hung up on the bill details, while others were outraged by the situation and said they’d boycott the restaurant

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