Keeping secrets from your besties is a big “no” because hidden things always come out one way or another. And when they do, they can damage even the strongest bonds. Whether you’re upset with your bff for being late or furious that they are still talking to their toxic ex, it’s best to just share your feelings with them. After all, someone who’s not honest with you isn’t really a friend.

A woman took to the AITA online community to share how she accidentally discovered her pals had been saying mean things behind her back for a whole year. All this happened while she was fulfilling her bridesmaid duty and helping her friend select a wedding dress. She found the texts on the bride’s phone where she and the maid of honor were making fun of her.

People who say hurtful things behind your back can never be your true friends

Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual image)

A bridesmaid was left in tears after stumbling upon hurtful messages on the bride’s phone

Image credits: Jill Wellington (not the actual image)

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual image)

Image credits: Necessary-Wall-6446

Friends shouldn’t secretly gossip about each other

Real friends are those people who always have your back. They are the ones who don’t hesitate to tell you about period stains or stop you from making rash decisions in life. They truly understand you and know exactly what you need, sometimes even before you do. It’s fair to say that adult friendships can make life easy and joyful.

Studies have shown that high-quality companionship among adults can protect them against mental health issues like depression and anxiety. The Mayo Clinic points out that having good buddies is beneficial for your health. However, when your pals speak poorly about you, especially behind your back, it can be hurtful and can cause stress.

Often, people engage in gossip to build a connection with their peers, for the purpose of entertainment, or to vent out their emotions. Some individuals try to build relationships by talking ill about others. They consider it a form of intimacy. But if you’re someone who engages in trash talk all the time, it can make it difficult for your besties to trust you fully.

Such habits can be driven by identity struggles as well. By comparing ourselves to others, we might be trying to gain a sense of superiority or validation. Imagine someone criticizing their cousin’s dress choice for a family function simply because they want to feel better about their own clothes.

Individuals tend to avoid those who have traits or behaviors they don’t like. For instance, a fashionable person might ignore their friend simply because they dress in baggy clothes. And while it’s okay to have personal preferences, making fun of one’s appearance, apparel, or other things in general is not a good habit.

A study from 2019 indicated that less than one in ten people don’t gossip on a regular basis. However, gossiping doesn’t need to have a negative connotation. It can be positive or neutral as well. For instance, you can say that you were inspired by your colleagues’ presentations in their absence.

Bullying can lead to depression and loneliness

As adults, we might know how to handle such nasty comments, but kids usually have a hard time dealing with snarky remarks. If students are bullied by peers in school, they are more likely to feel depressed and lonely. They may even end up losing interest in activities they usually enjoy.

Relational bullying is a type of bullying that involves making fun of people for the way they dress or what their interests are. When so-called friends start spreading rumors about you, it might ruin your reputation. They may pass remarks and joke about your appearances, all the while pretending to be your friends. Other types of bullying include cyber, physical, and verbal bullying.

The data from the Bureau of Justice Statistics and the National Center for Education Statistics reveals that two-in-ten U.S. middle and high school students were bullied during the 2019-2020 school year.
We live in a world where it’s difficult to escape such people. So, it’s best to call them out for their behavior.

Having an honest conversation helps us to understand why people are being unnecessarily mean. And, sometimes, if they refuse to have a heart-to-heart, it is best to understand that they might not be our good friends.

Sometimes, it could all be a big misunderstanding. The bonds we share with our friends are precious and it’s important to be true to ourselves and others. Do you have a friend that loves to gossip? Do share your thoughts about honesty in friendships in the comments below.

Folks online warned the woman that the bride and maid of honor are not really her friends

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