When we lose a loved one, our entire world gets turned upside down. The simplest tasks can become massive burdens, and we often reach for anything that will bring us comfort. As long as our coping mechanisms are not harming ourselves or anyone else around us, they should be considered fair game. Grief has stages, and it’s unreasonable to expect someone to “feel better” overnight, or even 6 months after a loss.

Unfortunately for one woman, her family has been less than supportive since the loss of her husband, and that lack of support has snowballed into a heap of family drama. Earlier this week, the woman reached out to the Reddit community wondering if she had gone too far by demanding her brother and sister-in-law return one of her most beloved items. Below, you can read the full story, as well as some of the replies it has received, and let us know in the comments what you think about this situation. Then, if you’re interested in reading a Bored Panda article discussing how to cope with the loss of a loved one, we recommend checking out this piece next.

Since losing her husband earlier this year, this woman has been coping with the loss by playing piano

Image credits: Jordan Whitfield (not the actual photo)

But after her family members decided to hide the beloved instrument, she’s now wondering if she went too far in demanding she get it back

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Throwaway69509765

I can’t begin to imagine how it feels to lose a partner, especially when there is a clear lack of support coming from family members. Grief manifests in many different ways, but if playing the piano helps the author of this story find a bit of comfort, by all means, she should be playing the piano as much as she likes. She was generous enough to allow her brother and sister-in-law to stay in her home, so they should live by her rules anyway. But especially during this time when she needs love and comfort, it just seems to cruel to take away her beloved piano.

When we’re grieving, we often become attached to items that help us feel connected to the loved one we lost. In this case, the piano is the perfect way to feel a connection with her late husband, but having that suddenly ripped away can be a traumatic situation. Calling the cops may sound dramatic, but when wounds such as losing your husband are reopened, it makes sense to be very upset. And if her family members had any empathy for her, they would understand that. 

When it comes to how we choose to deal with grief, music is actually a wonderful way to help find peace, even if your late husband was not a piano teacher. According to Heather Fellows, a music therapist based in Utah, music is the perfect tool to help us cope with grief and loss as it can help us process those feelings and move toward a place of acceptance. Heather explains that music provides a safe space for us to feel emotions, and it allows us to express and confront our feelings. It’s hard to keep things bottled up when listening to a sad or angry song, but we can just let it all out by singing along or letting out a good cry while it plays. It feels great to have the emotional release that music can bring us, especially if we have a difficult time articulating how we feel with words.

Music also calms the body and mind and helps us remember who we are. There is great comfort in hearing a piece of music that we relate to, and when we feel lost or confused while grieving, music can help ground us. Hearing songs that remind us of better times or moments when we truly felt like our best selves can be very helpful. Heather also explains that music connects us with other people and helps us honor the memory of our loved ones. “Remembering special times with our loved one is an important part of healing,” she notes. Especially in this particular situation, where music was a huge part of this woman’s late husband’s life, I can’t think of a healthier and more helpful way to help manage her grief.

Thankfully, readers have unanimously agreed that this woman was reacting reasonably in this situation, and her family members should be doing much more to support her. But we would still love to hear your thoughts down below. And if you have ever used music to help you grieve, feel free to share about those experiences with your fellow pandas as well.     

Readers have assured the woman that she did nothing wrong, calling out her family for not being more supportive while she is grieving

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