One thing I do not miss from my early twenties is living with roommates. I had a great time in college sharing an apartment with some of my closest friends, and the social aspect of co-living was a huge benefit at the time. But there’s something so special about being able to decorate your home exactly how you like it and never waking up to mysterious messes that were made while you were sleeping. 

However, one woman had no plans to move away from her roommates after finishing her medical residency because she was perfectly happy with the arrangement. Until it all blew up when her roommates figured out how much she was earning. Below, you’ll find a story that she recently posted on the AITAH subreddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.

Living with roommates is a great way to find affordable housing

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)

But when one woman’s roommates found out how much money she was making, her arrangement quickly went awry

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual image)

Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual image)

After talking things through with her roommates, the doctor shared an update on the situation

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual image)

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)

Image credits: Unable-String-6735

Nearly one third of adults living in the United States have at least one roommate

Living with a roommate is a quintessential experience that every young person should have. It teaches you how to share, how to coexist with another person, how to handle conflicts that pop up between roommates and, perhaps, the value of having your own space when you finally get to move out. And while most of us experience co-living for the first time when we move away for college, many adults continue to live with roommates long after they’ve graduated.

According to the Pew Research Center, almost one third of adults in the United States currently live with at least one other roommate. And of the 79 million adults who live in shared households, approximately 25 million own or rent out the space that they currently live in.

But even though having roommates is incredibly common, especially in large cities where the cost of living is even higher than the rest of the country, roommate etiquette is not black and white. A 2024 survey from Apartment Advisor found that 50% of roommates prefer to split expenses through an app to make sure that all costs are divided up evenly.

And when one roommate’s significant other is staying over often, over a third of roommates think that it’s only fair if they contribute to the cost of groceries and utilities as well. At the same time, 62.5% of tenants think that it’s best for roommates to share common grocery items, like milk and eggs, rather than having each person have to buy their own.

Roommate etiquette is not black and white

People also have differing opinions when it comes to how much time roommates should be spending with one another. Nearly two thirds of people living in shared households would like to hang out with their roommates a few times a week at home. But only 31% want to eat dinner with a roommate when their schedules align. And nearly half want to live with someone that they can go out with often.

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Even if you manage to be close with your roommates, the relationship is often a bit more complicated than a simple friendship, because money is involved. Together, you all have to agree on how to divide up the cost of rent and utilities and make sure that it’s all paid on time.

But according to Grubb Properties, there are several different ways that tenants can decide to divvy up their housing costs. One option is to split everything evenly. If all bedrooms are approximately the same size and all tenants use about the same amount of water and electricity, this might be a safe option. As long as everyone agrees that it’s fair, the even split can be great. 

Agreeing on how to split up rent isn’t always easy

But if you have a much smaller bedroom than your roommates, you might not be willing to shell out the same amount of money. In that case, it might be smarter to calculate exactly how much each square foot in the apartment is worth. Excluding common areas such as the kitchen and living room, renters may agree that the most fair option is to pay for exactly the amount of space that they’re occupying.       

Another option, that might be slightly controversial, is to divide up the costs based on each renter’s income. However, issues that might arise from this arrangement are conflicts when one person’s salary changes. If one roommate gets laid off and another receives a promotion, the whole household must agree to recalculate who pays what. It’s also possible that someone might receive a raise and withhold that information from their roommates. 

At the end of the day, living with other adults requires making compromises and having some uncomfortable conversations, whether it be about doing the dishes in a reasonable amount of time or how much money you’re earning. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this tenant did anything wrong? Then, if you’d like to read another Bored Panda article featuring roommate drama, look no further than right here!

Later, the doctor shared a few more details about the home

The vast majority of readers sided with the author, noting that her roommates aren’t entitled to know her salary

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