When someone passes away, mourning can soon turn into fighting for the deceased person’s inheritance. If you’ve never experienced it yourself, Rian Johnson’s Knives Out (2019) is a pretty accurate example. Family members often feel entitled to the bigger part of a deceased person’s estate. So it’s no surprise they feel offended when a non-family member appears to be the primary beneficiary.

One woman found herself in a tough situation over an ex’s will. He decided to leave the majority of his estate to her and her family. Naturally, this made the deceased man’s family angry, prompting them to demand she turn over the money to the bereaved wife and child. The woman asked other netizens whether keeping the inheritance money would make her the jerk.

Some people never really forget their exes

Image credits: Caleb Ekeroth (not the actual photo)

Sometimes they even decide to leave their life’s savings to them after they die

Image credits: anonymous

Image credits: Melinda Gimpel (not the actual photo)

Why do some people choose to leave family members out of their will?

People don’t always leave their inheritance to family members. Bill Gates, for example, famously said he wouldn’t be leaving his entire empire to his children. This case is obviously different — $700,000 is nowhere near Gates’ $118 billion. Yet it’s an example that people can choose to omit their family members from their wills.

Net Quote did a survey in 2017 where they asked people about reasons for leaving family members out of an inheritance. The majority (27.9%) said they would leave out those who haven’t spoken to them for an extended period of time. Only a slightly lower percentage (27.3) deemed committing a serious crime a reason not to include family members in their will.

Other reasons include having a generally cruel demeanor (24.5%), not being wise with money (18.9%), not being a close family member (14.4%), and not keeping in touch with other family members (13.8%).

Half of the surveyed responders with children claimed it’s fair to distribute assets based on who they like more in the family. And among those who did not have children, even 84.1% believed it’s fair to not leave your family members anything in your will if you don’t like them.

Image credits: Gabriella Clare Marino (not the actual photo)

In the US, it’s possible to disinherit a spouse in some states

There are three major delineations of inheritance law in the US. Alaska, Kentucky, and Tennessee are elective community property states. Under this law, there’s separate property and community property in a marriage. Each spouse has separate property, and then there’s community property, i.e. what the couple owns together.

Assets acquired by one spouse before marriage, or during the marriage by gift or inheritance are separate property. What the couple accumulates during the marriage or in a shared effort is community property. In the case of one spouse’s death, “the surviving spouse is the owner of the other one-half interest in the community property,” Smith Gambrell Russell Law explains.

Nine states – Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, New Mexico, Nevada, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin – have community property law. Under this law, spouses own everything onwards from the marriage 50/50, excluding gifts and inheritances. That is if there was no prenuptial agreement. In this case, the deceased person can give away their half of the community property to someone other than their spouse.

The last is common law. The remaining 38 states operate under common law policies, and they usually protect the surviving spouse. “Unless you have a prenup or your spouse voluntarily chooses to forfeit their share, your spouse is entitled to one-third to one-half of your estate regardless of your wishes,” writes Scott Alperin, a Virginia-based attorney.

The best advice for the OP was already in the comments – get a lawyer. Only legal professionals can comment on a case after carefully acquainting themselves with all the details.

The OP gave more info in the comments

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The consensus among netizens was that the OP wouldn’t be the jerk

Some commenters suggested giving some of the inheritance to the child, if it’s proven to be his

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