
People Agree That This Woman’s Engagement Ring Is Hideous And She Should Confront Her Fiancé
An engagement ring is a massive deal for many. While it may symbolize love and/or status, it’s a shiny little keepsake that every woman would want to keep for the rest of their life.
But is it the same case for an unattractive piece of jewelry? A woman encountered this problem when she received what she described as a “horrendous” and “impractical” ring from her fiancé.
It saddened her so much that it drove her to tears as the couple realized a few new things about themselves. Read through the entire story and see how it plays out.
A couple was nearly in shambles because of an unattractive engagement ring
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman described the heart-shaped piece of jewelry as “huge” and “gaudy”
She shared a photo of it that confirmed her words
Image credits: anon
The author provided an update, saying she did speak to her husband and resolved the issue
Image credits: anon
Healthy communication is a safeguard against resentment
The author’s biggest hurdle is communicating harsh sentiments to her husband without hurting him. At the same time, she avoids misinterpretation that may make her come off as shallow.
Healthy communication is essential in every relationship. It deepens intimacy and, as licensed therapist Dr. Jaclyn Gulotta, LMHC, points out, prevents resentment and unhealthy conflict.
In her article for Choosing Therapy, Dr. Gulotta explained how proper communication and openness may avert feelings of disconnect and lack of intimacy, which often leads to resentment and relationship burnout.
At the same time, it can prevent unnecessary escalations of emotions and to avoid someone from blowing things out of proportion.
“Avoidance or withdrawal can also occur when a person thinks their partner is unwilling to start or continue an interaction,” Dr. Gulotta wrote.
Part of achieving healthy communication in a romantic relationship is having the occasional difficult conversation. However, many people avoid its abrasive nature, and understandably so.
According to Maryland-based psychologist Dr. Helene Brenner, expressing what you want isn’t wrong. What matters most is when to say it.
In an article for her website, Dr. Brenner emphasized the importance of dialogue and hearing what your partner has to say. Saying what you want then happens as a respectful response, not an “angry dismissal.”
“If your goal is for them to hear what you feel, it’s a lot more likely to happen if they feel like you appreciate why it isn’t so simple,” Dr. Brenner wrote.
Dr. Brenner also suggests lowering the “threat level” by showing empathy, especially toward someone defensive. As she notes, the person is likely avoiding the truth, especially if they are in the wrong. They will likely respond more positively if you make them feel safe and do not condemn them.
Fortunately, the couple talked things through despite sharing a few tears. The woman expressed her feelings without insulting her husband, who owned up to his mistake. They handled the situation maturely without causing tension.
The author replied to some comments as readers gave their honest reactions
Poll Question
How would you approach discussing an engagement ring you're unhappy with?
Talk openly about my feelings
Suggest picking a new one together
Focus on practical concerns about the ring
Avoid the topic to spare feelings
I'm from a country where engagement rings traditionally don't exist (of course, nowadays all is fair, some people even celebrate Halloween now which has zero ties to our country...), proposals involve no ring whatsoever, taking the knee, any of that. The guy (again, traditionally) just asks you, and if you say yes, soon the two of you would go and choose your wedding bands, which are usually simple gold bands, no stones, nothing flashy. You are wearing those on one hand during engagement, then on the other after the wedding. Simple, no fuss, no speanding ridiculous money on diamonds and the like, and no competition about who has the largest/shiniest etc ring.
It's also worth mentioning that lots of men (without wanting to generalize too much) really, truly can't "see" jewelry. They can look at your ring collection of a hundred rings with a very uniform style and all they'll see is a bunch of things that go on fingers. Even if they do their very-very best, they just won't be able to see the similarities and nuances. If I ever wanted to be married and an engagement ring to be part of the "deal" , I would make sure to tell the guy very early on that I don't ever want a surprise engagement ring. It just sets you both up to exatly this scenario, where everyone is hurt over nothing.
Load More Replies...STOP CENSORING non-swear words (or ALL words). If someone can't read the word "crappy" without being offended, they need to find a rock to crawl under.
If BP can't stop censoring us perhaps we could all go on a comment strike. Might look like fewer clicks and so forth to their advertisers, who they're censoring us for in the first place.
Load More Replies...This was nearly a decade ago?! I would at least want an update! Edit, dear reader, 6 years ago she replied on a different post talking about “my husband” and saying she was soon to be a FTM, full time mum? So hopefully everything worked out well for them 🤞
I'm from a country where engagement rings traditionally don't exist (of course, nowadays all is fair, some people even celebrate Halloween now which has zero ties to our country...), proposals involve no ring whatsoever, taking the knee, any of that. The guy (again, traditionally) just asks you, and if you say yes, soon the two of you would go and choose your wedding bands, which are usually simple gold bands, no stones, nothing flashy. You are wearing those on one hand during engagement, then on the other after the wedding. Simple, no fuss, no speanding ridiculous money on diamonds and the like, and no competition about who has the largest/shiniest etc ring.
It's also worth mentioning that lots of men (without wanting to generalize too much) really, truly can't "see" jewelry. They can look at your ring collection of a hundred rings with a very uniform style and all they'll see is a bunch of things that go on fingers. Even if they do their very-very best, they just won't be able to see the similarities and nuances. If I ever wanted to be married and an engagement ring to be part of the "deal" , I would make sure to tell the guy very early on that I don't ever want a surprise engagement ring. It just sets you both up to exatly this scenario, where everyone is hurt over nothing.
Load More Replies...STOP CENSORING non-swear words (or ALL words). If someone can't read the word "crappy" without being offended, they need to find a rock to crawl under.
If BP can't stop censoring us perhaps we could all go on a comment strike. Might look like fewer clicks and so forth to their advertisers, who they're censoring us for in the first place.
Load More Replies...This was nearly a decade ago?! I would at least want an update! Edit, dear reader, 6 years ago she replied on a different post talking about “my husband” and saying she was soon to be a FTM, full time mum? So hopefully everything worked out well for them 🤞
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