Anyone who wishes to get married would likely be overjoyed to find out that their partner is ready to drop down on one knee and pop the question. For some, however, the aesthetic of the engagement ring seems to outweigh the feeling it symbolizes, with the level of enthusiasm for the “yes!” in direct correlation with the size and quality of the stone.

Recently, a woman took to Facebook to express her disappointment upon finding that the ring she discovered on her boyfriend‘s bedside table didn’t meet her expectations. 

“Ewwww. Self-shame Friday, here I come,” she wrote in a Facebook group named “That’s it, I’m wedding shaming” alongside a photo of the ring, which was then shared by the DailyMail.

The picture showed a three-stone diamond ring inside a light-gray square box.

“Found this on the boyfriend’s nightstand, not a fan,” she added.

A woman was heavily criticized after taking to Facebook to complain about the engagement ring she found on her boyfriend’s nightstand

Image credits: that’s it, I’m wedding shaming

The woman revealed she disliked the ring so much that she planned to tell her partner to purchase a new one. “Please roast [the ring] and then tell me how to tactfully say, ‘No, you need to go get something different.”‘

The woman’s post prompted a range of reactions, with some labeling her attitude “ungrateful” and others agreeing that she should indeed approve of the ring she’ll (hopefully) wear for the rest of her life.

“If you genuinely and honestly love the man with all your heart you shouldn’t care what the ring looks like,” someone commented. “The thought that he loves you enough to want you as his wife should be your main priority.”

“With an attitude like that, I’m surprised he’s offering a ring at all,” another person said.

“As long as my man picked it, then I am happy! If the ring is all you’re concerned about, then he deserves better,” a third social media user wrote.

Meanwhile, others speculated that the ring might have sentimental value. “Maybe it’s a family ring belonging to his Mum or Grandmother. If he’s giving it to you, it’s probably the most precious thing he has.”

Others argued that she was right in being selective about the meaningful gift.

“I find it bizarre that someone would buy a ring that the other person will wear for life (or end of marriage) without input from the person actually wearing it,” a Facebook user chimed in. “Surely, it’s better to have a conversation and maybe select a few rings as options.”

“My husband had a different one for me…. I just told him and he took me to the store and had me show it to him in person so he didn’t get it confused,” a woman shared.

“Not a fan. Please roast [the ring] and then tell me how to tactfully say, ‘No, you need to go get something different,'” she wrote

Image credits: Pexels

So, what should you do if you dislike your engagement ring? Relationship expert Dana Corey says that if you still don’t love the ring after giving it a couple of days and hearing the story behind it (if there is one), you should talk about it with your partner.

“Every time you look at it, the voice in your head will remind you how much you hate it—and that will cause resentment and annoyance,” Corey told Brides. 

“If you are constantly reminded of your disappointment in their choice, it will color your relationship.”

Therefore, you should discuss your feelings with your partner, paying attention to avoid making your comment sound like a reproach.

“Like any sensitive subject, you want to choose a time when you’re feeling open and loving, not when you’re in a disagreement or feeling upset. 

“It’s one of those intimate, vulnerable conversations that will set the tone of your marriage for the decades to come.”

If the issue comes down to the diamond itself—that is, that your partner didn’t spend enough on the ring—you should reconsider whether you actually want to walk down the aisle, Corey says. “The question I would ask is, ‘Are you committed to creating a happy, harmonious life together?’ Reconsider your motives, and be honest with yourself about whether you’re ready for marriage.” 

People referred to the woman’s attitude as a “red flag”

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