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Psychologist Weighs In On “Boy Moms” After Mother-In-Law’s “Icky” Pre-Wedding Post Goes Viral
Interview With Expert
Boy moms will be boy moms… Until their daughter-in-laws say enough is enough, as exemplified by this woman who vented her frustration on Facebook about her future mother-in-law’s (MIL) possessiveness. As a result, a psychologist recommended limiting social media activity leading up to the wedding.
After catching her fiancé’s mother lamenting about how mothers view their sons’ wives as replacements, a woman expressed her exasperation in a Facebook support group for wives.
Highlights
- A woman vented on Facebook about her future MIL's possessiveness and cringeworthy 'Boy Mom' post.
- A psychologist advised the bride to limit social media and talk to her fiancé about his relationship with his mom.
- The MIL's liked post lamented losing son's attention, sparking frustration in future DIL.
The woman shared screenshots of a questionable post that her MIL-to-be had liked on social media that read: “I gave away being the one he hugs and kisses, I gave away being the one he looks for in a crowd, I gave away being his number one girl.”
The post, aimed at moms whose sons were married, stated at some point: “I know he loves her more.”
The MIL’s social media post likes came after months of family drama, the woman explained on Facebook.
She wrote: “I just find it so sad that so many boy moms see their relationship with their sons like this.”
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A woman vented her frustration on Facebook about her future mother-in-law’s (MIL) possessiveness
Image credits: Pexels/Jay jay Redelinghuys
“A wife should not replace your mother.
“They are two COMPLETELY different kinds of love.
“If a mother and son had the same love that wife and husband do that would be sick.
“We should be able to love and respect each other and both be a part of his life.
“I don’t understand why so many DIL[s] (daughter-in-law) have to feel like they are being attacked for taking him away.
“Nobody is taking him away.”
Image credits: Freepik/stockking
The woman noted that while her family, especially her dad, had warmly welcomed her fiancé, her future mother-in-law exhibited hostility.
A handful of people defended the engaged woman in the Facebook group, as a person wrote: “Idk (I don’t know) I think mother-son relationships like this are sooooo icky lol like whyyy do you wanna be the only one your son hugs and kisses lmao.”
Someone commented: “Girl, it’s honestly one of the hardest things to deal with!
“Just hope your FH (future husband) has your back.”
“Mothers like this scare me,” a netizen exclaimed.
The woman caught her fiancé’s mom lamenting about how mothers view their sons’ wives as replacements
Image credits: Pexels/Jonathan Borba
A commentator added: “This makes me think her husband neglects her.”
A Facebook user noted: “Such a weird ass post in general!”
“Dealing with a fmil (family-in-law) like this is SO hard and I hate every bit of it,” a group member stated. “My fmil told my fh in front of me that ‘It’s a shame you’re choosing her over me,’ bro it’s not like that omg.”
An additional observer penned: “I am dealing with the same and it is sooo weird!!
“My fiancé is also an only child, so she is over the top with everything.
“I’m just thankful he also thinks it’s weird how she acts and avoids situations at all costs.”
Image credits: Facebook group
A DIL shared: “I love that all our MILs are posting this….
“Mine originally wanted a mother-son dance song about how no one could ever love him as much as her.
“She sent it to me and everything.
“My fiancé shut that down real fast.
“Y’all aren’t alone.
“Having a fiancé who knows how to handle issues that come up and supports me is so wonderful.”
The woman shared screenshots of a questionable post that her MIL-to-be had liked on social
Boy Mom IG reels are actually insane pic.twitter.com/OWRmQ4CQV8
— levy (@1929stockcrash) April 20, 2024
“I had to tell my MIL the exact same thing, we had the same conversation word for word,” a woman confessed. “And I told her ‘different kinds of love.’
“I’m sorry you’re going through this as well.
“I know exactly how you feel sister.”
A separate individual chimed in: “My MIL is like this she asked my husband if he loved her more than me, right in front of me, so incredibly awkward.
“He told her the same thing, that it’s two different kinds of love.
“Another time she asked him if the only person he cared about being at our wedding was her thank god he sticks up for me and doesn’t give into her emotional incest.
“She’s an only child and raised him as a single mom and he’s the only child so it’s, a lot lol.”
Image credits: Facebook group
Major life events, such as a wedding, are a stressful transition for many family members, according to social psychologist Dr. Christina Scott, professor and former Fulbright scholar at Whittier College in California.
“I can’t imagine how stressful it must be for the bride-to-be as her wedding day approaches,” Dr Christina told Bored Panda in an email.
The professor explained that social media perpetuates the “Am I the a**hole?” binary, encouraging people to quickly take sides and make judgments with very little information, which can intensify divisions rather than resolve conflicts.
Christina said: “Most mothers will agree that their lives change forever after the birth of a child, with a new focus on trying to love, teach, and protect one’s child into adulthood.
“Several milestones such as the first day of kindergarten, graduation from high school and/or college, and a wedding ceremony are reminders that a mom may not be ‘needed’ as much as she once was.
“We don’t know the relationship between this mom and her son or the stress that she is experiencing going into this transition.
“The actor-observer bias says we can assume she is overprotective or codependent, but since we aren’t in her shoes, we can’t fully understand her perspective.”
Social psychologist Dr. Christina Scott, professor and former Fulbright scholar at Whittier College in California, spoke to Bored Panda
behind a boy mom is a son of admiring her more than any man ever could 💙
— Chanel👑 (@spoiledbrat510) May 27, 2024
The psychologist went on to advise the bride to avoid following her future mother-in-law online in the lead-up to the wedding.
“The mom may be processing (or venting) her feelings online without realizing that her comments may be upsetting her future daughter-in-law,” she said.
Christina continued: “While social media often feels like a welcome escape or distraction from stress, it can ultimately wind up creating more tension and frustration.”
The mental health expert further encouraged the bride to talk with her fiancé to inquire about the relationship he has with his mom in a bid to get the backstory and try to understand more about their future family members so she can be supportive and inclusive whenever possible.
She concluded: “Although the bride’s father is excited and supportive, each parent-child relationship is different, and emotional reactions may vary throughout the wedding planning and the ceremony.
“Lastly, while the relationship between a mother and son is very different from a husband and wife, you both love this man deeply.
“Find what common ground you can and give each other the space (and grace) to navigate this transition as peacefully as possible.”
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What do you think ?
RabidChild 6 months ago
As a single mother of an only child son, boy moms creep me out. Pretty much in the same way dads who take their daughters to purity balls do
Ms.GB 6 months ago
Yes! Some parents are so creepy. This is why people need to have their own lives and interests separate from their child.
Load More Replies...
Elvira394 6 months ago (edited)
my 20-year-old son has a fiancé, they've been together since they were 14. I do view her as my replacement. A complete and total upgrade. What she's replacing is the young stupid idiotic girl I used to be when I married my husband. And my son is going to marry somebody who is much stronger and better than me at that age. She's replacing the parts of me I don't like to remember about myself, so that I can view my son's future wife as a much better version of a young bride than I ever was. See that branch of the family tree grow so much more fruit than mine does. So yes, my future daughter-in-law is replacing me. In a normal and generational manner. And I love her and appreciate her every day so much for doing that.
Ephemera Image 6 months ago
Women who can't seem to deal with the focus the family shifting away from her. Creepy AF.
RabidChild 6 months ago
As a single mother of an only child son, boy moms creep me out. Pretty much in the same way dads who take their daughters to purity balls do
Ms.GB 6 months ago
Yes! Some parents are so creepy. This is why people need to have their own lives and interests separate from their child.
Load More Replies... Elvira394 6 months ago (edited)
my 20-year-old son has a fiancé, they've been together since they were 14. I do view her as my replacement. A complete and total upgrade. What she's replacing is the young stupid idiotic girl I used to be when I married my husband. And my son is going to marry somebody who is much stronger and better than me at that age. She's replacing the parts of me I don't like to remember about myself, so that I can view my son's future wife as a much better version of a young bride than I ever was. See that branch of the family tree grow so much more fruit than mine does. So yes, my future daughter-in-law is replacing me. In a normal and generational manner. And I love her and appreciate her every day so much for doing that.
Ephemera Image 6 months ago
Women who can't seem to deal with the focus the family shifting away from her. Creepy AF.
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