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“Who Raised You?”: Future MIL Steps In To Clap Back At Son’s Insults Toward Fiancé, Goes Viral
Interview With Expert
They say you don’t just marry a person; you marry into a family. So TikToker Keely Grace Gaffney decided to learn more about her future in-laws.
During the holidays, she and her fiancé orchestrated a situation at the table where he started throwing rude comments at her in an attempt to see what his mother’s reaction would be and whose side she would take.
Keely secretly recorded the exchange, and the outcome gave her valuable insight into her future family dynamics. Continue scrolling to check out the video and don’t miss our conversation with social psychologist Dr. Susan Newman.
RELATED:
Keely, 22, has known her fiancé Nash, 26, for two years
Image credits: keely1123
And now that they’re getting married, the couple has decided to see whose side Nash’s mom would take if he suddenly became mean to Keely
Image credits: keely1123
keely1123: Can you pass me the butter, please?
Fiancé: The thing is already soaked in butter; do you really think you need more butter? It’s like a lot of calories. You were supposed to be on a fitness thing anyway.
Image credits: keely1123
MIL: Excuse me. Hey, who raised you?
Fiancé: You did.
Image credits: keely1123
MIL: I did and I did not raise you to be talking to her like that. She asked you for something—you need to get it for her.
Fiancé: I was trying to help her out; it’s for her benefit.
MIL: She doesn’t need you counting her calories or intake of her butter. She wants butter; she can have butter.
Fiancé: She was supposed to turn over a new leaf this next New Year; she’s just not paying attention, apparently.
Image credits: keely1123
Image credits: keely1123
MIL: Who are you? Seriously, who are you? Because you are not my child, I didn’t raise you like this.
Fiancé: Oh, I tried to be helpful.
MIL: Do you realize that you outkick your coverage with this girl?
Fiancé: Oh, I don’t know about that. You sure about that one?
MIL: I don’t understand you. I didn’t raise you to talk to her that way, to any woman that way. You don’t treat me that way.
The video has gone viral, garnering over 46 million views
@keely1123 Safe to say i have the BEST mother in law 😭 #coupleprank #prank ♬ original sound – keely grace
To learn more about these kinds of relationships, we got in touch with Susan Newman, Ph.D., social psychologist, a regular contributor to Psychology Today, and author of such books as Under One Roof Again: All Grown Up And (Re)Learning To Live Together Happily and The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say it and Mean it—and Stop People-Pleasing Forever.
“Your in-laws, whether you like them or not, can be the glue of your family,” Newman told Bored Panda. “When the relationships are warm, they thrive. In families that means having people you love, trust, and can rely on. You look forward to get-togethers and holiday celebrations. It’s important to realize that how you treat your in-laws (and they treat you) and parents set an example for any children in the family—and models how you would like your children to treat you decades from now.”
“That said, keeping difficulties at bay can be super tricky,” she added. “One off-putting comment or action can upset one or the other for a long time, creating unpleasant tensions and limited access to a son or daughter or to a mother or father.”
The dynamic between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law can be especially tricky.
Terri Apter, a psychologist who conducted decades of research on the subject, which she summed up in the book What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws, found that 60% of women admitted the relationship with their female in-law has caused them long-term unhappiness and stress. Two-thirds of daughters-in-law believed that their husband’s mother frequently exhibited jealous, maternal love toward their son. (For context, while 75% of couples reported having problems with an in-law, only 15% of mother-in-law/son-in-law relationships were described as tense.)
While every situation can have its own nuance, Dr. Susan Newman said this is “primarily because a daughter-in-law is trying to show she’s a capable adult and a mother-in-law may be trying to maintain control and offer advice (frequently unwanted).”
“Much trial and error may occur because they do not know each other well since they did not live together and are unaware of quirks or what might annoy, hurt or bother the other,” the social psychologist added. “As the years go by, mothers-in-law and their sons’ wives ideally find a happy medium… Or better, become allies supporting each other.”
So, it’s really awesome to see that Keely and Gail have each other’s backs.
This wasn’t the first time the couple tried this prank on their parents
Image credits: keely1123
Keely told People that, even though she and Nash had met two years ago and got engaged just over a year later, this was only her second time meeting his parents in person, as they live out of state.
However, she said that she and his mom Gail are “very close,” adding, “We text and call all the time.”
The bride-to-be said Gail was “very relieved” when she found out that the whole thing was just a prank.
Quite a few people who have viewed the video have questioned the ethics behind testing your relative like that and filming the whole thing without their consent. A few even called it manipulative. But Keely said, “We’re all very sarcastic. Like, the whole family is filled with jokes, so it was easy to brush off after that.”
According to her, this wasn’t the first time she and Nash pulled this particular trick as well—they did the same thing to her own mother for a video she posted to TikTok in November.
“Her reaction was very reactive, and it kinda got a lot of hate comments,” Keely said about the original video featuring her mom. “She took my side and a lot of the comments were disagreeing, [saying] that she shouldn’t get involved in the relationship.”
“It triggered a lot of comments. This [more recent one] had a lot more positive comments, so we were excited to see that,” she added.
Ultimately, Dr. Newman said, as more and more generations in a family get together, problems and differences will arise, so “it’s wise to find ways to smooth out the rough spots and keep harmony.”
And people have had many different reactions to it
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What do you think ?
Carrie de Luka 17 hours ago
Hmmm. Several things occur. Firstly, don't trick and test people like this, that's a horrible thing to do to the MIL. She ends up disappointed in her son and/or upset that they felt the need to test her like that. Second, lovely that she stood up for her DIL and wasn't happy with her son. It's not how he should speak to her. However, it's also between the couple. Their wanting to see her response is manipulative but they're the ones in the relationship and parents, unless there is genuine concerns of harm, should mostly stay out of it. Parents in law stepping into conversations and issues between couples isn't necessarily going to be appreciated. In this instance, if it happened for real, rather than a set up, wonder how they'd feel. I didn't appreciate it when my FIL stepped into a conversation between me and partner. Not. His. Business. This, of course, is just my opinion and I mostly think it's just simply a horrible thing to do to the MIL and she certainly meant well.
Tabitha 15 hours ago
You should patent that saying, because I plan on using it myself.
Load More Replies...
Tamra 17 hours ago (edited)
Ugh. This is gross. Don't play with other people like this, and for f*CK sake, stop filming everyone! I'm wondering if some people can't have actual, genuine, in-the-moment relationships with other human beings without using their damn phone and the internet as a filter.
Carrie de Luka 17 hours ago
Hmmm. Several things occur. Firstly, don't trick and test people like this, that's a horrible thing to do to the MIL. She ends up disappointed in her son and/or upset that they felt the need to test her like that. Second, lovely that she stood up for her DIL and wasn't happy with her son. It's not how he should speak to her. However, it's also between the couple. Their wanting to see her response is manipulative but they're the ones in the relationship and parents, unless there is genuine concerns of harm, should mostly stay out of it. Parents in law stepping into conversations and issues between couples isn't necessarily going to be appreciated. In this instance, if it happened for real, rather than a set up, wonder how they'd feel. I didn't appreciate it when my FIL stepped into a conversation between me and partner. Not. His. Business. This, of course, is just my opinion and I mostly think it's just simply a horrible thing to do to the MIL and she certainly meant well.
Tabitha 15 hours ago
You should patent that saying, because I plan on using it myself.
Load More Replies... Tamra 17 hours ago (edited)
Ugh. This is gross. Don't play with other people like this, and for f*CK sake, stop filming everyone! I'm wondering if some people can't have actual, genuine, in-the-moment relationships with other human beings without using their damn phone and the internet as a filter.
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