Anyone demanding a ring of a certain value is shallow, high maintenance, and to be avoided.

My bf, now husband, and i went to buy the cheapest gold wedding rings. Both Broke but young, in love. we are now married for 17 years with two kids

I'm feeling cynical. $2,400 for a ring sounds like a bargain in comparison to a costly divorce.

There is no "tradition" to give diamond engagement ring. It's a scam made up by DeBeers Never buy diamonds

I've been taught to never ask a price of a gift, and for me engagement ring is no different. It's much more important to me that the ring would fit my style and taste (which means being quite simple and not flashy at all). I can't understand these huge extravacant weddings and can't understand these ridiculous ring demands either.

Every time I see posts like this I think of my parents. My dad had one of his sister's help pick out the ring. Platinum with an emerald cut diamond. Ma told him he spent too much. ($250 in 1958 I think) I have it as my wedding ring now. It's the only diamond I've ever liked. Financial compatibility is one key in a marriage. Communication is another.

Such a stupid tradition… WHY spend so much on a trinket, WHY compare it to other's trinkets, and WHY is it just one of the persons paying for it? Our rings are silver and titanium, we loved how they looked and we bought them because they made us happy. I don’t care if someone else’s ring costs more than my car, you do you.

I'm saying ESH - She's bonkers on the £20k for a ring. He's an idiot for not having talked to her about financial values and made they were financially compatible before he proposed. "Arguing about the price of the ring" is a red flag for a couple, because it shows that they have fundamentally different attitudes about spending, If they haven't been able to establish joint guidelines and compromises before the ring-buying stage, they're not ready. Financial stress is a major contributor in divorce.

Resale value of a 20k diamond ring would be somewhere between 20 and 60% depending on the brand, carat, clarity.... Definitely a dumb move moneywise to spend so much on something that does not have intrensic value. I would not marry anyone who can´t process that. Half a gold bar would be a sound investment in that price range.

I mean. I don't know if I'd have the guts to walk around with a 20k ring on my finger. But aside from that, I think it also depends on their general lifestyle. Sadly I know men who will happily drop that kind of money on their hobbies but will kick a girl out if she expects to be as much of a financial priority as their partner. For example, I know someone who drives a Mercedes G. They bought their wife an Opel Astra. Nothing wrong with the car per se, but it is a reflection of how much say she has in the relationship.

20,000 is a decent used car. There's no effing way I'd expect someone to spend that much on a piece of fûcking jewelry. How shallow can you be?

The ring represents a promise. The value of the ring in no way represents the VALUE of the promise. Anyone who tells you that the value IS connected to the price of the ring is totally incorrect, your commitment to them cannot be valued in monetary terms, if they think it can then they seriously undervalue you and your commitment. Time for you to move on to someone who does see your value.

We bought our engagement rings for 30€. Our wedding rings were 140€ and I thought those were a bit expensive lol :D (here usually both have engagement rings and the bride gets a wedding ring - but we both wanted wedding rings also)

I never had and engagement ring, just a plain gold band, and my husband and I have been very happily married since 2001. A few years ago he asked me if I wanted a diamond ring to go with my wedding band. I said if HE felt he needed to, I would consider it a gift, but I was not going to insist on it, because our marriage is more important to me than a ring. I also knew we couldn’t afford it , and would rather have the bills paid and a nice nest egg in the bank instead of a rock on my finger. He hasn’t mentioned it since, though I know that once he can afford it he probably will buy one for me.

$2,400 wasn't enough? WTaF??? What is wrong with people? Wantwantwant & tantrumtantrumtantrum when they don't get what they want. We have toddlers in adult bodies. Mankind, as a species, is a joke. A very embarrassing one. Although we'll be nuked into extinction soon enough, the way things are going, so ... 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️

GoldBetty up there is more like golddigga. Never place monetary value on items as you will never be happy. Bullet dodged - imagine how much that wedding would have cost?!?!

First off, he's looking at this through a logical POV, rather than an emotional POV. But, that is often what men do. So, how does he overcome the emotional response of GF? That's a tough one. If their expectation on ring cost are so far apart, it seems like a bad match for future family economics.

Late hubby proposed to me with a cigar band (which I still have). My actual ring is man-made sapphires w/ accents. He bought it at Sears and spent $200. He wanted to "upgrade" it at 10 years, but I declined. I got exactly what I wanted. Instead, he planned an amazing 10th anniversary weekend, a memory I cherish.

She's probably missing out on a good man. He possibly could've kept her spending in check. She's not thinking about her actual future with that kind of spending.

Mr. Babs and I shopped together for my ring, a quarter carat solitaire in a plain gold band. I've been wearing the same ring for the past 43 years, and never wanted to 'upgrade'. If a woman rates her engagement and marriage on the amount of money her ring cost, that doesn't say much about her devotion to her potential mate. This LW dodged a bullet.

My wedding ring will cost about 50 euros.

I didn't like the ring he proposed with but I said yes anyway because I love him. We exchanged the ring for my *dream* ring which cost a lot more, so I helped pay for it. That ring now sits somewhere, not worn yet we've been married for 24 years. I'm trying to decide which of my children should get it.

20k on an engagement ring is ridiculous I would be to scared to wear it. In fact I'd a bit worried about 2k.

Yeah she wasn't really interested in your love, only how she can impress her social circle in a game of material one-upmanship.

Considering that my last car (5 years old at the time, with 60K miles) was less than 15K with taxes... I would say he made right decision. You can spend money if you have them, but not from debt.

20k ??? It's the quarter of my small European house's value !!! We inherited my grandma's ring (a big sapphire surrounded by small diamonds set in a platinum band... Yeah my Gramps worked at the "Union minière" in Congo and it's not worth 20k ! What the FUDGE? Ha and fun fact, the ring came AFTER the marriage...her actual fiançailles ring was....my oldest aunt 😂 she was so fed up with her parents not approving her choice of fiance that she said to my Gramps "we're making a baby ! That will shut them up !"

If you want a $20,000 ring marry a millionaire who doesn't give a damn about money. Seriously, even $2,400 is, to me, outrageous. It's just a junk of carbon, dug out of the ground by people DeBeers treat as little more than slaves. DeBeers makes billions conning young impressionable American women that there is more meaning to spending more on a rock than there is. It's still just a rock, and without special skills and training, you can replace it with cut glass and nobody would know the difference. My engagement ring for my wife was a tree-stone sterling ring with three very dark matched amethysts in it. I got her this just a few weeks before we got married. The actual proposal had no ring, as I did it online. We lived 1800 miles from each other at the time. This May marks 26 years married. I spent $72 on the ring. Don't waste thousands on a lousy chunk of carbon. Find a stone either that she loves, or that has meaning within your relationship, no matter how cheap.

Demanding a certain value is ... eugh. I think ... feel... whatever, the proposer and proposee are setting up a statement with that ring (let's call it a physical symbol). He put a lot of $$ into it, and from the looks of it, thought as well, about her and their future, so "I think of what you'd like, and I'm thinking of our future", and she slapped him in the face with, well, "I base the value of our relationship in $$ only." I mean, it's not like she said "I don't want a diamond" and then he got one anyhow because "Tradition!" - then that'd be more "What I think and want is more important than your thoughts and wants. Deal with it." and he'd be TA.

They should've gone ring shopping together. Giving her what YOU think she deserves is controlling behavior. We chose my ring together. Over the years, we've chosen bigger & better rings. Patience is the path, but together.

Whatever happened to couples choosing the ring together?

If my boyfriend proposed to me with a 2400$ ring I probably would stop to rethink the relationship. At this point he should know I don't care about things but experiences and time together, and when it comes to jewellery I like cheap finds from flea markets. If he got me a diamond ring it would suggest he doesn't know me at all... Or got brainwashed into thinking that's what he has to do.

I did not give my wife an engagement ring at all. We've been married for 32 years now. If I had spent $20,000 on a ring she would have thrown me, and the ring, out the window. What a fvcking waste of money. As that person said, unless it's the One Ring To Rule Them All, it ain't worth $20,000.

Prior to my proposing, I had purchased a ring for about $2800 from Daniels that we both picked out. I proposed at Machu Picchu about eight months later and by that time I had bought another ring for $35,000. It was much more and had a very large clear diamond. When I brought it out the proposal, she stopped in her tracks and said oh no where is my ring!? Despite everything she loves that original ring for the romantic times more than the extremely large diamond ring that I got her. Her values align with mine and it makes my day every time I see her with the less costly ring on. Which is 90% of the time.

& isn't that the most ridiculous "expert" statement ever - a ring in the $500 range..... is more likely GUARANTEE that ..... end in divorce

2k on a ring is already mental, it's a ring

I'll never understand wanting a ring that expensive. I would never feel comfortable wearing it. What if I some how lost it? Or someone saw it and recognized it's value and I got robbed. Nope not for me. My only wish was for an emerald. Didn't even need to be natural, lab grown are just as pretty. Just not a diamond they are over rated

My engagement ring cost £5. She's pathetic, greedy and an absolute Moron. He escaped big time there.

God. What a shallow ladie. This guy truly dodged a bullet.

$20K on a ring?!?! I mean the 2K one would be locked away tight. I'd be too afraid to ruin it or something.

Thats why engagement exists, to make sure marriage is your best option. Clearly these folks aren't compatible. I hope if he wants to marry in the future, he trades up.

One ring to rule them all ?