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“AITA For Being Mad At My Fiancé Because He Told Me He Wouldn’t Add My Name To The House?”

“AITA For Being Mad At My Fiancé Because He Told Me He Wouldn’t Add My Name To The House?”

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Owning your own home is a proud sign of financial stability and personal success. Knowing that you’ll be able to share it with your partner after you marry can be even more gratifying. However, there are many things to consider when it comes to opening your home to a new spouse, one of them being the question of shared ownership. 

This redditor hoped that after she married, her husband would put her name on the deed to his home, making them equal homeowners. But when she brought this up, he told her that he wanted to keep it to himself since he paid for it in full before they met. This majorly upset her, pushing her to look for perspective online.

Sharing a home with your loved one might seem like an exciting prospect

Image credits: westend61 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

However, this woman’s dream of shared homeownership burst after her fiancé wanted to keep his house solely under his name

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Image credits: drazenphoto / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Later the author posted an update

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Image credits: throwawayhouseprobl

The decision to add a spouse on the deed to a property isn’t always straightforward

Image credits: simonapilolla / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

The decision to add a spouse on the deed to a property isn’t always straightforward, as every situation is unique. Perhaps the partner purchased the home while they were single or have remarried and have children from previous relationships to consider. 

The choice also has many potential benefits and pitfalls that the owner has to think through before confirming it. On one hand, it can simplify the estate planning process and shared ownership can offer a layer of protection that some couples may find appealing.

In case any of the spouses have debts, creditors can’t claim jointly owned assets. And having both names on the title simplifies the inheritance process if one partner passes away earlier than the other. Any properties or assets that the late co-owned are simply passed down to the surviving spouse and their heirs. 

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On the other hand, in cases of divorce or separation, having both partners on the title can lead to disputes over equal division of property, especially if one spouse has contributed to the home significantly more than the other. 

15% of American couples have signed a prenup in 2022

Image credits: dvatri / envatoelements (not the actual photo)

Proving that one party had a bigger financial input than the other can be difficult once someone is added to the deed. After divorce, the laws require each spouse to receive a fair share of the marital assets. 

To keep a property like a home separate from marriage, the couple has to sign a premarital or prenuptial agreement. Typically, it lists what possessions and debts each person owns and spells out their rights to these assets during and after the marriage. 

Such agreements have a history of being quite controversial, as they’re often imposed by wealthier partners to protect their fortune. However, when it’s done right and used correctly, it can be a fair way for both parties to divide assets and responsibilities. Besides, judges look carefully through such documents to ensure no spouse is wronged by prenups. 

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As a matter of fact, these agreements aren’t just for protecting assets—they can also shield partners from debts their significant other may accumulated before meeting them. 

As divorce is becoming more prevalent, it’s not surprising that many people try to find ways to protect themselves and their finances. A 2022 Harris poll found that around 15% of Americans signed a prenup. This figure has significantly increased since 2003, when it was just at 3%. It’s even more popular among younger generations like Gen Z and Millennials, with 40% of them reporting having signed such an agreement. 

“They don’t want to make the same mistakes [as their parents]. Some of us saw real disasters,” says Julia Rodgers, a former family law attorney and founder of HelloPrenup. This makes complete sense, as Boomers were most likely to get married and divorced at a young age. 

A lot of readers said that demanding to be put on a deed was a jerk move

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Others weren’t as harsh, saying they need a prenup

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Austeja Zokaite

Austeja Zokaite

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

Read less »
Austeja Zokaite

Austeja Zokaite

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

Read less »

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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Sergio Bicerra
Community Member
8 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hi guys, I think I may found gold in my garden. Anybody knows a good ol' gold digger?

Katchen
Community Member
8 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is such a terrible writer that I find it hard to believe she worked as a teacher.

Glenn Cuneo
Community Member
56 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I though a monkey wrote the article.... don't peple bawther looking four the read sgwiggly lions aaannymore?

Load More Replies...
Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
8 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Making 3x what I make, without working, and having a partner willing to support your hobbies and passions? Gurrrllllll. Wake up. Most of us can't even fathom the privilege.

StarCrossedFriday
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get his point - I got married two years ago, and we live in a house that’s solely in my name, because I inherited it a year before we even met. He has never ever asked me to put his name on the deed. At the same time, I wouldn’t dream of leaving him homeless if we ever did split up - assuming he doesn’t do something incredibly evil that triggers the split, I suppose. He in turn has his own pre-marital assets that I wouldn’t dream of claiming either, although tbf nothing as valuable as our house. I still see it as ‘our’ house, we redecorated together, he has an equal say in what goes where, but at the end of the day, we didn’t get it together.

Lost Panda
Community Member
8 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't say a*****e per se, but she is in the wrong in my viewpoint. If the tables were turned, then I would say the other was the a*****e too. It has nothing to do with gender. Someone was left something from their uncle. Why would anyone in their right mind potentially setup a way to lose something that potentially has sentimental value? Maybe I'm just old fashioned, and while I will never inherit something of this level from any relative, I can see how this could bring up an issue. *Edit: I reread it and see that the uncle left money not a house. It still stands that the house was bought before meeting her. There may be less sentimental value, but now there is a legal item to take its place. It was obtained prior to marriage, she has no legal right to it*

Mark Fergel
Community Member
27 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An allowance of 5 grand a month???? Jeesuz.........you're worried about not being on the house?

Trillian
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about instead of sitting on her butt she gets some qualification for another job if teaching doesn't suit her? Like, what is her life plan? Find some idiot to support her her whole life?

The_Nicest_Misanthrope
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wtf? Why can't I find someone willing to just GIVE ME 5k a month?!?! Stupid gold digging woman

TribbleThinking
Community Member
5 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It seems like a bit of a dream offer for a person in a job that they hate. However, in 10 years' time, $5000 will be worth $2500 and when you're 66 years old, $312.50. This is why above inflation yearly increases are so important. And is he ever going to "promote" you, or would you be stuck on the equivalent of $5000 forever? You're currently a pretty young thing. What happens if he finds another pretty young thing when you're 40? Have you got assured job tenure(he could just fold the company) or will you be 40, jobless, homeless and employable only in low skilled jobs? If you use the free time to develop your new career or get a better gilt edged contract with him, great. If you don't, you run the risk of being hired and discarded arm candy after 10 years, when you're no longer as youthful.

Nina
Community Member
7 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definition of gold digger right here. Hope he dumps her.

Kari Panda
Community Member
7 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They both seem like red flags to me… It seems sketchy that she wants her name on the deed so badly, and it seems sketchy that he doesn’t want her to work (she could have just quit her current job and searched for one that makes her happy), yet he still has rules about how she can spend her time. Not to mention that pretending she’s working for him when she doesn’t is probably illegal.

Caro Caro
Community Member
5 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The rules about spending her time are good rules. He doesn't want her to become a couch potato. He gave her a choice and certainly did not force her to stop working. He wants her to persue hobbies and interests which I find wise. If you don't have to work, have no kids, can afford lots of things then you could become a bit lazy. She's an adult so she can look for a part time job if that makes her happy, use some of her time to work for charity. No, having someone working for you / on the payroll when not making any hours is not illegal.

Load More Replies...
kath morgan
Community Member
46 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That employee at his company thing is sketchy? How is that any more “legal” than just living off an agreed budget of the common money with your live in partner? I wonder if he is trying to avoid actually marrying her?

TribbleThinking
Community Member
39 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The employee thing is unfortunately a really common tax efficient thing used by rich people. If you look at people elected into your nation's parliament, you'll find a strangely high number of spouses and and family on their staff.

Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat
Community Member
1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, Felicia, YTA. If you moved into a new house together, you get to put your name on the deed, you don't just stamp your name on his assets.

Sergio Bicerra
Community Member
8 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hi guys, I think I may found gold in my garden. Anybody knows a good ol' gold digger?

Katchen
Community Member
8 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is such a terrible writer that I find it hard to believe she worked as a teacher.

Glenn Cuneo
Community Member
56 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I though a monkey wrote the article.... don't peple bawther looking four the read sgwiggly lions aaannymore?

Load More Replies...
Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
8 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Making 3x what I make, without working, and having a partner willing to support your hobbies and passions? Gurrrllllll. Wake up. Most of us can't even fathom the privilege.

StarCrossedFriday
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get his point - I got married two years ago, and we live in a house that’s solely in my name, because I inherited it a year before we even met. He has never ever asked me to put his name on the deed. At the same time, I wouldn’t dream of leaving him homeless if we ever did split up - assuming he doesn’t do something incredibly evil that triggers the split, I suppose. He in turn has his own pre-marital assets that I wouldn’t dream of claiming either, although tbf nothing as valuable as our house. I still see it as ‘our’ house, we redecorated together, he has an equal say in what goes where, but at the end of the day, we didn’t get it together.

Lost Panda
Community Member
8 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't say a*****e per se, but she is in the wrong in my viewpoint. If the tables were turned, then I would say the other was the a*****e too. It has nothing to do with gender. Someone was left something from their uncle. Why would anyone in their right mind potentially setup a way to lose something that potentially has sentimental value? Maybe I'm just old fashioned, and while I will never inherit something of this level from any relative, I can see how this could bring up an issue. *Edit: I reread it and see that the uncle left money not a house. It still stands that the house was bought before meeting her. There may be less sentimental value, but now there is a legal item to take its place. It was obtained prior to marriage, she has no legal right to it*

Mark Fergel
Community Member
27 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An allowance of 5 grand a month???? Jeesuz.........you're worried about not being on the house?

Trillian
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about instead of sitting on her butt she gets some qualification for another job if teaching doesn't suit her? Like, what is her life plan? Find some idiot to support her her whole life?

The_Nicest_Misanthrope
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wtf? Why can't I find someone willing to just GIVE ME 5k a month?!?! Stupid gold digging woman

TribbleThinking
Community Member
5 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It seems like a bit of a dream offer for a person in a job that they hate. However, in 10 years' time, $5000 will be worth $2500 and when you're 66 years old, $312.50. This is why above inflation yearly increases are so important. And is he ever going to "promote" you, or would you be stuck on the equivalent of $5000 forever? You're currently a pretty young thing. What happens if he finds another pretty young thing when you're 40? Have you got assured job tenure(he could just fold the company) or will you be 40, jobless, homeless and employable only in low skilled jobs? If you use the free time to develop your new career or get a better gilt edged contract with him, great. If you don't, you run the risk of being hired and discarded arm candy after 10 years, when you're no longer as youthful.

Nina
Community Member
7 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definition of gold digger right here. Hope he dumps her.

Kari Panda
Community Member
7 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They both seem like red flags to me… It seems sketchy that she wants her name on the deed so badly, and it seems sketchy that he doesn’t want her to work (she could have just quit her current job and searched for one that makes her happy), yet he still has rules about how she can spend her time. Not to mention that pretending she’s working for him when she doesn’t is probably illegal.

Caro Caro
Community Member
5 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The rules about spending her time are good rules. He doesn't want her to become a couch potato. He gave her a choice and certainly did not force her to stop working. He wants her to persue hobbies and interests which I find wise. If you don't have to work, have no kids, can afford lots of things then you could become a bit lazy. She's an adult so she can look for a part time job if that makes her happy, use some of her time to work for charity. No, having someone working for you / on the payroll when not making any hours is not illegal.

Load More Replies...
kath morgan
Community Member
46 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That employee at his company thing is sketchy? How is that any more “legal” than just living off an agreed budget of the common money with your live in partner? I wonder if he is trying to avoid actually marrying her?

TribbleThinking
Community Member
39 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The employee thing is unfortunately a really common tax efficient thing used by rich people. If you look at people elected into your nation's parliament, you'll find a strangely high number of spouses and and family on their staff.

Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat
Community Member
1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, Felicia, YTA. If you moved into a new house together, you get to put your name on the deed, you don't just stamp your name on his assets.

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