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Man Calls Mom Sobbing After Catching His Brother With His GF, She Watches Her Family Fall Apart
Betrayal cuts deep, especially among family members. It carries a pain that lingers for years and may remain an open wound despite attempts at reconciliation.
A mom of three is in this exact predicament after one of her sons began dating his brother’s girlfriend. The once-close siblings have since been torn apart, leaving their entire family in complete disarray.
Feeling guilty about possibly failing her children, the mom now seeks advice from the Reddit community on how to prevent the situation from crumbling. Read the entire story below.
RELATED:
Betrayal stings much worse when it happens between family members
Image credits: prathanchorruangsak / Envato (not the actual photo)
A man began dating his brother’s girlfriend, causing their family to start falling apart
Image credits: Zinkevych_D / Envato (not the actual photo)
Their mother is left feeling guilty and pressured to fix the situation and prevent worsening it any further
Image credits: ThrowRA77688
The path to forgiveness can be a long and difficult one
The only way the author could achieve peace within her family is for Shane to forgive his brother Jacob. However, that may be a tall order.
Psychology professor Dr. Glenn Geher noted that forgiveness can be a “complex emotion” because emotions and thinking are two completely different worlds. In his article for Psychology Today, Dr. Geher attributed this dichotomy to why people do things they regret, like committing infidelity.
So, even if we think forgiving the person who wronged us is the right thing to do, our conflicting emotions may hinder us from doing so.
“Our emotion system often puts the reins on actions that we consciously aspire toward,” Dr. Geher wrote.
An inaccurate perception of forgiveness may also hinder people from achieving it. Author and family violence consultant Dr. Steven Stosny explains that forgiving someone is not an act of condoning or excusing wrongful behavior.
Instead, it is “forgoing the impulse to punish, resent, and carry a grudge.” In the story’s case, it is more about Shane getting past the anger from betrayal and forgiving his brother to achieve peace within the family.
Self-care is the key to achieving forgiveness
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
According to Dr. Stosny, making forgiveness the ultimate goal may prolong the process, “like a carrot on a stick.” You think you’ve achieved it, only to realize it is again beyond reach.
What may help is to focus on self-care and compassion and developing one’s core values.
“Forgiveness sneaks up on you, whether in the form of detachment or, if you decide to repair your relationship, in full emotional reinvestment,” Dr. Stosny stated, suggesting repeating what it means at its core: taking control of your emotional well-being.
Of course, it is a two-way street. In this case, Jacob must extend an olive branch. Dr. Stosny advises making statements like, “I do not want you to trust or forgive me until you feel completely comfortable in doing so.”
The brothers may take a long time to forgive each other, but they must take these first steps to make it happen.
Many readers took the time to offer some sound advice to the woman
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What do you think ?
Xenia Harley 11 months ago
Molly is also at fault here. She should have broken up with the younger brother, then after awhile, if she really felt whatever toward the older brother, gotten together with him. The older brother and Molly deserve each other because neither thinks about how they treat other people. Both are skanky, heartless people. Both lack integrity and any honesty.
Full of Giggles 11 months ago
You’re never too old to receive a verbal butt kicking from your parents. Mom needs to tell Jacob exactly how she feels. Tell him she’s disappointed and ashamed of him. Let him know Molly will never be welcomed into the family and neither will he until he grows up, accepts responsibility for his actions, and sincerely apologizes to his brother.
Ace 11 months ago
Is this a follow-up to the deranged guy who had a crush on his brother's girlfriend, posted here a couple of days ago?
Midoribird Aoi 11 months ago
No. The girlfriend wanted nothing to do with the creepy brother.
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Melissa Harris 11 months ago
I'd start a betting pool of how long until Molly is cheating on Jacob with some other dude. "Remember. If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you." That's the only thing I would've had to say to Jacob.
Abraxas59 11 months ago
A tenner says she already is lol skanks like her can’t help em selves
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Bi.Felicia 11 months ago
I really don't understand how siblings can do this shyt to one another. One of my best friends has been with her man for over 25 years and they have 4 kids together. They aren't married due to financial reasons but he's a POS. My bestie is also dealing with quite a few medical conditions herself and has been in comas and almost died, more than once. Their oldest child, in his early 20s, has special needs. So she's got quite a bit on her plate rn and on top of it all, her man and her sister have been sleeping with each other for years. Of course they won't admit it and continually deny it. What's even worse is that the sister was more concerned about where her BIL was, while her own husband was on his death bed. There are so many single people in the world, why go after the SO of family/friends? Especially knowing all the hurt/pain you're causing to not only your SO but kids/family. These are the lowest form of scum on earth and I hope they get all they deserve in life.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
My older sister was the second-biggest abuser in my childhood/life, right behind my mom. She's my parents' bio child whereas I'm adopted. My sister is 6 years older than I am and participated in my mother's physical, verbal, and emotional abuse of me. (Sister would also yell and scream at our dad whenever my mom was yelling and screaming at him. My mom was physically abusive towards my dad, and he never so much as touched her.) My sister will verbally abuse me to this day (I'm 42, she's 48; she doesn't dare hit me any more, at least.) So, I don't like my sister very much. I've always wondered what it's like to have a loving, supportive sibling who has your back through thick and thin. My sister is asexual, so she never poached my partner, but she is not a good person. I love her (because I'm a better person than she is), but I don't like her. I'm sorry to hear what your friend is going through :( At least she has you, who sounds like more of a sibling to her than her actual sister.
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Booster Booey 11 months ago
Seriously, though ... It also ticks me off that the one son called his mom a b***h. If I ever did that to my mom ... Well, I'd never do that to my mom.
Margaret Shannon 11 months ago
Jacob has put his mother in an impossible situation. She will always love both her sons, and it’s unfair to ask her to choose sides. Yet the effect is just that.
Bette 11 months ago
All the oldest son needs to hear is that HIS actions have consequences - and now he is seeing what the consequences are. He has no one to blame but himself. Second brother may benefit from therapy - but should be allowed to and time to process his legitimate feelings of hurt and betrayal. The mother's responsibility here is to support her adult children in their journeys to heal.
Randy Sanders 11 months ago
As cold as this sounds, If he could take her away, she was never yours. Be glad you dodged that bullet, and move on. Karma will handle the rest.
Abraxas59 11 months ago
Actually I agree that’s one skank he’s better off with out but did it have to be his brother that’s the vile bit the hurtful bit being on cheated on hurts like s**t but for it to be with a family member that’s a whole new level of scum
Load More Replies... Xenia Harley 11 months ago
Molly is also at fault here. She should have broken up with the younger brother, then after awhile, if she really felt whatever toward the older brother, gotten together with him. The older brother and Molly deserve each other because neither thinks about how they treat other people. Both are skanky, heartless people. Both lack integrity and any honesty.
Full of Giggles 11 months ago
You’re never too old to receive a verbal butt kicking from your parents. Mom needs to tell Jacob exactly how she feels. Tell him she’s disappointed and ashamed of him. Let him know Molly will never be welcomed into the family and neither will he until he grows up, accepts responsibility for his actions, and sincerely apologizes to his brother.
Ace 11 months ago
Is this a follow-up to the deranged guy who had a crush on his brother's girlfriend, posted here a couple of days ago?
Midoribird Aoi 11 months ago
No. The girlfriend wanted nothing to do with the creepy brother.
Load More Replies... Melissa Harris 11 months ago
I'd start a betting pool of how long until Molly is cheating on Jacob with some other dude. "Remember. If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you." That's the only thing I would've had to say to Jacob.
Abraxas59 11 months ago
A tenner says she already is lol skanks like her can’t help em selves
Load More Replies... Bi.Felicia 11 months ago
I really don't understand how siblings can do this shyt to one another. One of my best friends has been with her man for over 25 years and they have 4 kids together. They aren't married due to financial reasons but he's a POS. My bestie is also dealing with quite a few medical conditions herself and has been in comas and almost died, more than once. Their oldest child, in his early 20s, has special needs. So she's got quite a bit on her plate rn and on top of it all, her man and her sister have been sleeping with each other for years. Of course they won't admit it and continually deny it. What's even worse is that the sister was more concerned about where her BIL was, while her own husband was on his death bed. There are so many single people in the world, why go after the SO of family/friends? Especially knowing all the hurt/pain you're causing to not only your SO but kids/family. These are the lowest form of scum on earth and I hope they get all they deserve in life.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 11 months ago
My older sister was the second-biggest abuser in my childhood/life, right behind my mom. She's my parents' bio child whereas I'm adopted. My sister is 6 years older than I am and participated in my mother's physical, verbal, and emotional abuse of me. (Sister would also yell and scream at our dad whenever my mom was yelling and screaming at him. My mom was physically abusive towards my dad, and he never so much as touched her.) My sister will verbally abuse me to this day (I'm 42, she's 48; she doesn't dare hit me any more, at least.) So, I don't like my sister very much. I've always wondered what it's like to have a loving, supportive sibling who has your back through thick and thin. My sister is asexual, so she never poached my partner, but she is not a good person. I love her (because I'm a better person than she is), but I don't like her. I'm sorry to hear what your friend is going through :( At least she has you, who sounds like more of a sibling to her than her actual sister.
Load More Replies... Booster Booey 11 months ago
Seriously, though ... It also ticks me off that the one son called his mom a b***h. If I ever did that to my mom ... Well, I'd never do that to my mom.
Margaret Shannon 11 months ago
Jacob has put his mother in an impossible situation. She will always love both her sons, and it’s unfair to ask her to choose sides. Yet the effect is just that.
Bette 11 months ago
All the oldest son needs to hear is that HIS actions have consequences - and now he is seeing what the consequences are. He has no one to blame but himself. Second brother may benefit from therapy - but should be allowed to and time to process his legitimate feelings of hurt and betrayal. The mother's responsibility here is to support her adult children in their journeys to heal.
Randy Sanders 11 months ago
As cold as this sounds, If he could take her away, she was never yours. Be glad you dodged that bullet, and move on. Karma will handle the rest.
Abraxas59 11 months ago
Actually I agree that’s one skank he’s better off with out but did it have to be his brother that’s the vile bit the hurtful bit being on cheated on hurts like s**t but for it to be with a family member that’s a whole new level of scum
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