There’s nothing like the butterflies you feel when going on a date with someone new. You might have a hundred thoughts racing through your head all at once: Did I choose the right shoes? Should I have styled my hair differently? Did I pick a cool enough coffee shop for us to meet up at?

But all of the nerves can simply melt away when you realize you’ve met someone that you genuinely love spending time with. And if you don’t, well, you can always cancel the date and try to salvage what’s left of your day. Below, you’ll find a story that one man recently shared on Reddit after attempting to go on a second date with a woman he thought he liked.

After hitting it off with this woman on their first date, this man was excited to go on a second one

Image credits: Yunus Tuğ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

But he noticed something that bothered him as soon as he picked her up

Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: iDontUnitTest1

Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Most of us need to date at least seven people before finding “the one”

Some people say that dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the closer you’ll be to finding “the one.” And the more dates you go on, the better you’ll get at figuring out exactly what you’re looking for. After all, you have to put yourself out there! According to one study, men tend to need eight relationships before finding their perfect match, while women usually need to date seven people first. 

Everyone also tends to suffer through four disastrous dates and at least two online dates before finding their soulmate. Women usually kiss around 15 people before settling down, while men often kiss 16. And almost everyone will be stood up at least once, cheated on at least once and have their heart broken twice before finding the love of their life. 

So if we’re supposed to have all of these experiences before finding the person we’re meant to be with, wouldn’t it make sense to ensure that some of your dating history overlaps? After all, if you’re not in an established relationship, is there anything wrong with seeing multiple people at the same time?

According to psychologist Rachel Vida Maclynn, there are pros and cons to dating a roster of people at once. On the bright side, it might be fun and exciting. You can test multiple different waters at once to see what stands out to you. This also gives you the opportunity to date at your own pace, without rushing into a committed relationship. It’s a good way to expand your dating network as well, if you’re going out more often and meeting a wide variety of people.

But, on the other hand, this might burn you out from dating. If you’re constantly scheduling dates and too tired to see someone that you actually really like because you were just out the night before, this roster might backfire on you. 

Image credits: Jep Gambardella / Pexels (not the actual photo)

There are pros and cons to seeing multiple people at once

You may also struggle to connect with anyone you’re dating on a deeper level if you’re too focused on keeping your options open. And, like the woman in this story learned, it can also turn off potential partners if they don’t think you’re serious or ready to commit.  

So how can a person know if dating multiple people at the same time is the right choice for them? Amie the Dating Coach notes on her blog that playing the field can help you get a better understanding of what it is that you’re looking for. If clarity is what you’re in search of, this might be beneficial for you.

Seeing several people can also help daters become less attached to the idea of one outcome. Sometimes, we go on one date and immediately start imagining our future with that person. Where we’ll live, how many children we’ll have, how they’ll propose, etc. But if you’re not committed to them yet, it can be a healthy reminder that you can’t predict the future and that you’ll be totally fine regardless of whether or not they want to be with you long-term.

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Having a roster can help daters understand their needs and requirements and even allow them to develop better relationship skills. It requires being open minded and being able to communicate with a variety of people, which can be beneficial in all parts of life, not just the dating scene.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man was right to immediately cancel his date? Feel free to weigh in. Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda piece discussing dating drama, we recommend reading this article next!

Readers weighed in on the situation, and some even shared their own stories of frustrating dating experiences

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