Did Some ignorant fool say YTA for not looking up YouTube tutorials on how to feed the baby that the mother abandoned? Honestly the YTA crowd is clearly a bunch of ignorant fools and that’s not debatable . The lady didn’t do anything wrong and that is not debatable either. NTA case closed.

I think she did the correct thing. It's to bad the mom has been hit with the consequences of her own actions, but she could have prevented it with some simple planning and respect for the op. Dumping the baby with no supplies with someone with no experience for 4 days and then cutting off communications? At the spur of the moment? That's just insanely careless.

I love how all the YTA people say the same nonsense about calling friends and family to help. She literally said she exhausted her circle in seeking advice and got no where. Here's a reality check. The mother abandoned her child. Read it again if you need to. She abandoned her child. When you agree to pick up in the evening to a willing partner, gold. If you then demand they keep it an extra 4 days with anything less than a full commitment, you are abandoning the child. Literally everything else is a side show and consequences of that action. Replace the sister with a babysitter. If you think a babysitter, who didn't agree to 4 extra days is an AH for calling the police, I've got nothing for you. You're hopeless.

I'm blown away that she still has custody of the child!! OP is definitely NTA! The mother turned her phone off and refused to head home!

What kind of person leaves their kid with someone else, plans to come back in a few hours, and "spontaneously" goes on a multi-day trip? The felony charge she did commit and deserve to be charged with was child neglect. I wish marijuana weren't considered as serious of a crime as it is, but she brought this upon herself. As the saying goes... don't break the law (marijuana) when you're breaking the law (dumping your child without making prior care arrangements).

So planned or not, the "Mother" abandoned her baby and couldn't even be bothered to have a conversation with OP? She treated her child with so much disrespect, not to mention poor OP

Mother abandons her baby for days with someone without asking or leaving proper supplies and gets pissed when the police get called on her? Seriously?

ugh, all the YTA folks making snap judgements: does the baby have medical needs? allergies? what kind of formula? (i was allergic to dairy as a child and had to be on a soy formula). how about the house having a safe place for the baby to sleep. can the OP afford to go out and buy formula and diapers? did the mother leave a carseat for the baby because clearly the OP can't leave the baby at home while shopping for the necessities. would the OP even know how to safely secure a carseat or have transportation appropriate for a carseat? does the OP know how to choose the right size diaper? is the OP physically able to do the manual labor that's involved? i know i'm not. i have permanently pinched nerves and my right arm is numb. i can't safely hold a glass bottle with it, let alone a baby. i suspect some of those people are the kind of people are seeing themselves in the mother and projecting

Absolutely NTA. People really need to stop accomodating a******s and irresponsible people. Actions have consequences and in this case a baby is involved. If she does this now, how will it be when the kid is older? She'll leave a few sandwiches and lock the door?

So, mom got in trouble not for abandoning the baby, but for having a substance that's now legal in half the country? Glad to see our lawmakers have their priorities in order.

I don't know why OP tried to defend her by saying being gone for an extended period of time was a spontaneous decision. A parent of a 1yo has no business making "spontaneous decisions" that lead to just ditching your kid for the better part of a week. Not enough diapers, no food, probably no emergency contact/health insurance info. This isn't defendable, it's irresponsible AF.

Guys never mind having to go buy diapers and baby food and wake up when the baby is crying in the middle of the night and everything else that it needs, a few youtube videos will do all that for you! Silly bints.

The people who said ESH and YTA are the ones who condone this behaviour and drop their babies off at a moment's notice with two diapers, no clothes, and no food. I would not be surprised if the people who are berating this person have had their kids taken by CPS.

NTA. You can't make "spontaneous decisions" like that when you have a baby. Full stop. End of discussion.

to all the commenters who are ragging on this poor OP, the SIL did not get a felony on her record because she left her baby unattended, she got it because she was high on d***s and had so many d***s with her they thought she was selling. She made all those decisions. If god forbid the babysitter's Google searches did not provide the correct information and the baby got sick or died, the babysitter would have been responsible. So this is on the SIL all the way.

She's not entitled to a 'break',

Op didn’t ruin Claire’s life, Claire ruined her own life by abandoning her baby to go on a d**g bender. Once someone starts doing stuff like this, a felony charge is inevitable. On the bright side, Claire’s baby was safe - that might not have been true the next time she dumped the baby somewhere so she could get high.

I can’t believe people called OP the AH. She isn’t married to the BF and has no POA if the child gets sick or hurt. Sure, she could go to a hospital, but since she isn’t family, she will not be able to find out what is going on with the baby! I get spontaneity but come on! You have a baby; you find out that you could go away with friends; you first check with said sitter that it would be okay (I mean what if OP has a day job where she can’t take a baby), then you stop off and either drop off baby supplies or money for said baby supplies.

OP probably has a job, so she'd need to find a babysitter on VERY short notice. So those 4 days would be around $200 minimum out of her pocket, plus the cost of diapers and formula. And I put the odds of the mom paying her back somewhere between slim and none. And when you're the parent of an infant or toddler, you don't GET breaks. At best, you can sneak in an occasional nap when the kid's sleeping too.

When do we hold the people who actually act on their poor decisions accountable rather than the person who brought them to light? I raised a child and if someone dumped their kid on me for 4 days I would not take it on the chin and care for the kid. I would hold that selfish, irresponsible idiot accountable. Where is the father in all this. I was a single mother and didn't even go out until my daughter was 4. Boo hoo. She needed a break. So did I, but I put my child's safety and wellbeing ahead of my own. I don't regret it for a second. She's 26 and I don't get nearly enough time with her.

I didn't read not one single YTA reply because they all clearly came from people lacking the mental capacity that is needed to raise children. What she was supposed to do produce milk???? Sew clothing???? Hand wash disposable diapers???? Four days with an evening worth of supplies is in effect abandonment. She did the right thing.

I think if the OP is still reading, she should thank the mom's friends for posting all the YTA and ESH posts and giving us something to talk about. It's not pleasant to think about all the people who would be okay putting their 1-year old in the care of someone who's never cared for a child before to go off on an unplanned d**g bender for days, because ******* YOUTUBE has videos. Y'all, I just can't even handle the level of stupid and lack of care for children some of you have. If something had happened to Alex, I bet you dumb ******* would blame this OP too, despite her lack of knowledge and unwillingness to be in the situation. I hope none of you who posted YTA ever have kids, or feel sorry for your kids if you have.

OP seems to want to beat herself up over this, as when others assure her that she's NOT the A, she comes up with more ways in which she ruined the child's and mother's lives. Sorry, OP, but you're NOT the @$$hole here. No one has the right to leave a baby with you for significantly longer than the agreed-upon time. What were you supposed to do about work?

You don't get to be spontaneous where your child's welfare is concerned. You also don't leave them for longer than a few hours with someone not experienced in childcare. You don't turn off your phone, and you don't blame someone else for your bad decisions. It's called being a responsible parent.

I'm sorry, one does not just spontaneously decided to skip town for 4 days when they have a baby. That alone is enough fornme to consider it abandonment. Its one thing to need a break, it's another to completely abandon your kid with someone who has expressly told you they CANT take care of her for days. If the trip was so spontaneous, then she shouldn't have had a single problem coming back to get her kid. NTA

no car seat, how was the OP supposed to go get supplies? The OP called friends for help but apparently friends weren't helpful. Looking after a child doesn't come naturally to everyone, what type of trouble would the OP have found herself in if something had gone wrong? I think she did the only reasonable thing considering the circumstances as the safety of the child always comes first.

I think these YTA a******s didn't read the full story. They said "keep trying to contact her" and just watch the baby for a few hours?! It was 4 DAYS and she turned her phone off. Seriously. And she said the mom had done this before but it happened to be when the bf was home. Calling CPS was a positive here. Op sounds very young, probably 20 ish if her and bf had been together 5 years. It's not her responsibility to try to come up with money for food and diapers for someone else's baby for 4 days. If someone had done that to me at 20 I would have done my best with what I had but not everyone can. Also it's not ops fault that "mom" had pot on her and caught charges. I don't think it should be illegal, don't smoke myself but I know it helps people stay off more harmful medications for anxiety, cancer, et al. Wildly NTA here

Anyone that said YTA must assume everyone has been raised around babies; and/or lives close to family or friends who have. NOT SO.! AND what idiot would count on YouTube for child care advice? Not even taking into consideration emergencies. A o relative can not authorize any medical treatment of a minor anywhere in the United States. I'm assuming all the YTA folks are under 12 yo or someone who is dumb enough to pull that rap.

The YTA and ESH people can suck eggs.

Absolutely NTA and anyone saying differently is the AH. OP very honestly says she has little experience or know-how to deal with a baby. Look up child care on Google? Seriously? What if OP has no nearby help? This idiot mother should never have had a child.

I would have called too, because I'm not equipped, nor have the will, to watch a baby for a few hours, let alone 4 days without proper supplies and instructions on what to feed them. Mom just abandoned her kid and needed the hard reality check of a felony on her record to get that once you have a kid, your life as you knew it is OVER, because you have another HUMAN who is completely dependent on you for at least 18+ years!

The thing with wanting to take spontaneous trips is understandable. I do it but nty baby is a grown man with a child of his own! When he was 1yo I could barely spontaneously pee never mind leaving him with inadequate and inappropriate childcare for almost a week! I can't believe people actually suggested looking up childcare tips on Google! If you search something basic like 'what a 1yo baby should eat' you'll get about 456456 opinions on the matter! And that is dodging the big issue of the mother doesn't get to act like that now! She's a mother and honestly, her wants and needs are going to be secondary to her child for the foreseeable!

LOL. Woman abandoned her kid, got a felony because she was actively doing something illegal, and this doormat thinks she might be an a*****e. What a world to live in. Even if OP called the cops simply because she didn't want to take care of someone's kid, she still would not be in the wrong. What kind of b***h leaves their kid for someone else to tend to? For FOUR DAYS?? Without coming to an agreement? Hell naah.

Im sorry, I'm stuck on these two things: that she's had the bf watch her kid for daya a time frequently, and, that the op thinks "this is the first time she's had to herself since baby". Cause nope. That's not how that works at all. The history of dropping and running (even with a capable person especially (legally) a family member) screams that she's been doing everything she can to pretend she's not a mother. Does that preclude her from becoming a good mother, no. But she isn't one now. And having cps and the police aware of this history will only help baby have a better life.