Since when is a racist joke no racism? And since when is it to much asked for a maid of honor not to insult the groom all the time? This sister is delusional.

If you are "only joking" then there is no reason you can't stop joking.

Such a shame that the sister couldn't just apologise and become more mindful of how her "jokes" were being received. Awful way to treat people, let alone dig your heels in and let narrow minded views become a rift in the family.

If I was her, I would tell my parents that they are coming nowhere near me, my spouse, or any children in the future(if any) until they apologize for defending outrageous behavior. The sister will be banned until she apologizes to the spouse and promises never to make those comments again. Her comments probably were caused by a deep unhappiness (and jealousy?) but she crossed several lines and she needs to make amends.

Anytime someone said Asians ate dogs I would respond that it's like saying all Americans eat squirrel and possum.

I have a real problem with people that say "I'm just joking". I can't remember where I saw this, but I think it's apt. If not everyone in the room is at least smiling, then it's not funny. Although, I do believe they were talking about pranking, but I think the principle is the same. If someone is the butt of a joke, racism, body shaming, ageism, etc. it's not okay.

Uncommon Boston

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Very, very brave. I admire what she did, it wasn't easy, her husband and new family must come first. There are family members you will never please, they will always put you down to demonstrate their superiority.

Good for you and your now husband. This type of joking and I was just kidding is another form of bullying and should not be tolerated from anyone family or other wise. It is always toxic. It's always good to have loving people around you. People are not perfect but when they go out of their way and consistently do the same behavior they are making a choice. Good luck to you and your new family. 🥰

Wow, OP's sister sounds so much like the character Hailey (from The Hate U Give). The reason why someone would think it's okay to keep making offensive comments like that when they clearly make the victim uncomfortable is just unfathomable to me. Oh, it's just a joke? Then why is NO ONE LAUGHING?

Wow, that sister is a piece of crap. Obviously.

Life is too short for entertaining jerks, including jerks in our families. Even putting racism aside, I seriously doubt this is the first example of the sister's obnoxious behaviour. Maybe one day she'll change, but until then, the bride can have her in her life only as much as she wants to. And if I were her, it would be 'not at all'.

It’s annoying when jerks don’t and refuse to believe they’re being jerks even when they’re called out and explained why they’re being jerks. If you’re response is “I was just joking” well no ones laughing. That should be your queue right there that maybe it isn’t a joke after all and maybe you’re being a jerk.

My family jokes hard all the time, but the number one rule is to not hurt anyone's feelings. At first I thought this was gong to be a case of the bride going off half cocked when the sister wasn't trying to hurt him, but if she won't apologize when she knows it's caused pain then she's got a problem.

If it was a joke, the sister would have felt bad and stopped as soon as it was called out as racist and hurtful. If she were a decent person, she would have apologised. If she valued her relationship with her sister and BIL-to-be she would have apologised. The sister is a toxic racist bitch, and OP is right to distance herself from the relationship.

Your sister is a cùnt. And no self respecting adult should ever put up with shïtheads just because they're related. To be fair, asians do have small genitals, though. It's a fact, not racism. The rest of her comments would've earned her a punch in the nose if she was my sister. Though I would've stopped her after the first comment.

Being unnecessarily cruel to someone is not a joke. If you think it is, YTA.

That's a beautiful cake btw!

A marriage is only a begining. If your sister did not make it, there is a whole life time for her to come around and try to make amends. My point is: don't close all doors if at all possible. Leave a clear path for her to follow back to you, if she ever realise how big of a racist piece of s@#t she's been.

Good for Amelia for not inviting her sister and not allowing her sister to ruin her wedding with her racism. Congrats on having healthy boundaries! Really, it's ridiculous that her sister is a grown adult who thinks racist jokes, especially ones directed at her BIL are appropriate. It sounds like her parents have been letting her make racist comments about people on TV without a reprimand too. The other important thing is your significant other is your family and it's your job to protect them from the crazy members of your family of origin as well as the other way around. Not inviting racist family members to the wedding applies. Your wedding, your rules.

It's only a joke if both people are laughing...

She had the nerve to tell her to "marry a real man" and say she's not racist? WOW. Keep that trash out of your life girl.

On what planet and in what possible reality is OP in the wrong? Sister is clearly jealous and racist to boot. Mother is apparently a closet racist for thinking that sister is not in the wrong and OP was overreacting. Disappointed also that father merely came along to the wedding and not make a stand for the sake of not wanting to annoy sister and his wife. Shame on all three of them quite frankly.

Uh ... there are very, very rare situations where you can make a racist joke and it is fine - and this is not one of them. It just isn't cool, the so-called jokes themselves aren't even the funny part, but imagining that people actually think they are funny (it's more a joke about the joke, so to say, ...). Also - she's your sister. It would have been better to not wait until something big like a wedding comes up, because that put pressure on both of you, and maybe it would have worked out better if she'd came to know the boundary you rightfully set here a little earlier, but OTOH, if simply not making these jokes already is asking too much, I don't think she enacts them in any kind of enlightened way, maybe not even for truly racist reasons (I cannot possibly know that), but out of stubbornness - and that doesn't matter anyway. Also, a sister's SO isn't just "That dude from asia", he has a name, and is a person, not just a geographic origin made of flesh.

Being insulting 'as a joke' is not ok if the person targeted has told you they don't like it. Whether their ethnic background, looks, profession, if someone asks you to stop and you don't, then they have every right to avoid you.

I had a friend who always made racist comments against white people. Comments like "white men have a small penis" or "white people in Switzerland eat dogs just google SWITZERLAND DOG STEW". "White people are racists and the biggest liars I've ever met in my life". "White people eat raccoons, coyotes, beavers, squirrels and possums just watch how to eat videos on YouTube". She makes comments like "white people love having sex with dogs like those videos of b*********y". Or "white people fornicates with their own relatives". "White jews sucks off little boy's penises like they do in their ritual of metzitzah b'peh". I've heard enough so I had to stop talking to them and cut them off from my friends list.

The sister was being totally racist and I think that this bride was right in kicking her out of the wedding. Saying "I'm just joking" when you say horrible things like that is just an excuse. It's a good thing the bride put her foot down now, because things would have gotten worse when they had children.

I would have beat the racism outta my sister for that but since the above mentioned lady is of a higher breeding than that I will say she is right her sister is a racist pig and so are her parents.

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Why is racism against whites never mentioned here? https://summit.news/2021/04/21/get-the-fk-out-of-new-york-blm-protesters-demand-white-restaurant-owners-leave-the-city/