Recently, a 27-year-old who is getting married to her 31-year-old fiance this summer turned to the AITA community for a moral judgment.

The author, who is also a mom to her 8-year-old daughter from a previous partner, explained that her fiance’s mother has always hated her. “She thinks I’m gross for having been a teen mom and she believes her son deserves someone better (i.e. a virgin),” the woman wrote.

But one day, the future mother-in-law insulted the author so badly that she simply had enough. That meant the husband’s mom is no longer welcome at their wedding.

A woman wonders if she is right to ban her future mother-in-law who openly hates her from her wedding

Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)

Image credits: blackwidowspiderrr

Image credits: bialasiewicz (not the actual photo)

“Dealing with in-laws can be touchy, so you don’t want to put your partner between their parent and you, since that’s not fair,” an expert says

Susan Petang, a stress management coach who runs The Quiet Zone Coaching, told Bored Panda that for many people, dealing with in-laws can be touchy. Moreover, since you don’t want to put your partner between their parent and you, which isn’t fair, you may feel overwhelmed or even torn.

“One of the first things I advise my clients to do is put themselves in their in-laws’ shoes. Why do you think they are doing what they’re doing? (And no, ‘She’s just a jerk!’ or, ‘She just hates me!’ aren’t good answers,)” Susan told us previously.

“Having some understanding of why MILs doing what they’re doing doesn’t justify their behavior, but it takes away your anger over the situation”

According to her, the common reason why MILs may not respect their DILs’ boundaries is because “THEIR mothers/mothers-in-law did that to THEM – so they think it’s OK.”

In other instances, mothers-in-law may feel worried about you, or even think they’re actually helping. On other occasions, they may be too attached to their child, and they’re anxious. So Susan argues that thinking this way may help you to realize that “it must suck to be them, don’t you think?”

“By having some compassion for what they’re feeling or understanding why they’re doing what they’re doing, it doesn’t justify their behavior, but it does take away some of your anger over the situation.”

Many people expressed their support for the author in the comments

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