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MIL Left In Tears After Woman Threatens To Kick Her Out For Her Unhinged Actions
Tall girl problems aren’t something I’ve ever had to deal with. Falling more into the “vertically challenged” category, I have my own set of short girl problems. The average heights for women vary slightly depending on things like ethnicity and nationality. But in America, the average female height is considered to be around 5 feet and 3.5 inches.
One woman recently shared how her 6’6” height has forced her to arrange her kitchen cupboards in a very particular way, so that she doesn’t have to crouch to get things. The woman’s (shorter) husband is happy to sometimes stand on a stepladder if needs be. But all hell broke loose when his mother came to stay, and kept rearranging the cupboards to suit her own needs. The woman retaliated in a way that’s now making her rethink her actions.
RELATED:
Being below or above “average height” can cause all sorts of problems
Image credits: Thirdman / Pexels (not the actual photo)
For one tall woman, the biggest thorn in her side turned out to be her mother-in-law
Image credits: Alex Green / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: NoWillingness3090
Unpacking the highs and lows of being tall…
If you’re not a tall person yourself, you might not have ever stopped to consider what life is like up there. Being above average in height can have its perks. Like being able to see the stage at a music concert, easily grabbing things off the top shelf, being closer to the netball or basketball hoop, or being taken more seriously (by some).
But it’s not all smooth sailing. Some of those towering a few inches above the rest report difficulties finding clothes that fit, being uncomfortable in cars or planes, being teased, having their feet hang off the bed, suffering neck or back pain from crouching, and even low self-esteem.
Elizabeth Joy Fuller chose to focus on tall women for her Sociology thesis titled “‘Can You Believe They Think I’m Intimidating?’ An Exploration of Identity in Tall Women.” Fuller interviewed ten women, all 5’11” or taller.
She found that tall women are frequently the subject of unwanted height-related comments, and this can make them feel self-consciousness. “This self-consciousness is reinforced by social infrastructure, heteronormative gender expectations, and othering in the form of harassment and bullying,” she said, adding that many of those she interviewed admitted to being bullied about their height as children.
The Netflix movie Tall Girl reinforces this, with the main character Jodi being taunted by daily comments such as “How’s the weather up there?”
Fuller also noted that some tall women tend to internalize their height through interactions with both other people and their environment. “These interactions can begin from a young age, and can affect how tall women perceive themselves to the point where their height becomes a minor bodily stigma, or, a feature which is perceived negatively,” she wrote.
Fuller points out the fact that tall girls aren’t always treated the same as tall boys, noting that some girls are prescribed hormones to prevent them growing too tall. But above-average height is seen as an acceptable trait for boys.
A separate 2005 research paper notes that “treatment with synthetic oestrogens to reduce adult height has been available for tall girls since the 1950s.”
“The tall women in my study learned to negotiate and avoid their height in situations that caused them discomfort, yet eventually accepted their height as a part of their identity after overcoming adversity in their childhood and youth,” wrote Fuller.
She believes more research should be done on the experiences of tall women. “This is important because tall women are often assumed to be happy and satisfied with their height, while their feelings and experiences are ignored in favor of the overarching narrative of beneficial tallness.”
People had quite a few questions after reading the post, and the woman was happy to answer
“You live in a world that isn’t really built for you”: netizens came to the tall woman’s defence
“Get a grip, lady”: some netizens felt the woman should be more accommodating towards her MIL
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What do you think ?
Robin Roper 3 weeks ago
This has nothing to do with the OP being rude to her MIL; this is about the MIL being a rude and entitled guest in her son and his wife's home. I can't imagine having the nerve to rearrange someone else's kitchen.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 3 weeks ago
And the YTA's are out again. Obviously insufferable a******s who think everyone should cater to them.
Debra Robinson 3 weeks ago (edited)
Def , bad as entitled cünt mil. Morons.
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CalamityOne 3 weeks ago
I'm sorry, but if I'm a guest in someone's home, I'm almost afraid to touch anything, nevermind re-arranging their kitchen cupboards
Amy S 3 weeks ago
Hard agree. I once moved the fancy sofa cushions to sit on an inlaws sofa and got stressed that I couldn't remember how they were arranged when I went to put them back. I cannot imagine the audacity to rearrange someone kitchen cupboards.
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Sue User 3 weeks ago
At 5'7" i was the vertically challenged ones in the household. Father 6'6" , Brother 6'4" , Sister 5' 11.5" ( i suspect she is taller but doesnt want to be over 6 foot ). But I would much rather have a step stool than try to get something out of the back of a lower cupboard.
Janissary35680 3 weeks ago
I'm 6'3" and my wife was 5'4". We did have a stepladder but because both of us had balance issues, we solved our problem by essentially having three kitchens: High (for the stuff I needed), Low (for the stuff she needed), and Middle (for stuff we both used and could be kept at counter level).
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Uncle Schmickle 3 weeks ago
Excuse the pun, but it's the "height" of ignorance to go into someone else's home and move things around to suit yourself.
Bette 3 weeks ago
I believe the main issue here has nothing to do with height and everything to do with control. As the OP said, her MIL did not like her from the time she became friends with the daughter. Marrying the son was, in the MIL's mind, beyond the pale! The OP's height became the "hill" on which the MIL was prepared to die on in EVERY scenario of life - the kitchen, her daughter's wedding, the wearing heels.....etc....
Rebel Peewee 3 weeks ago
What is with the "YTA, you don't have a disability". Have these people never validated a single tall person's frustrations with being too tall for most things to be comfortable? It's not easy being 6'6.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
It's really not. I find it amusing in a morbid way, that I at 5'1" notice how difficult things are for tall people, when people that are more average in height don't. Maybe because of the difficulties we have as short people we have a mutual bond in trying to live in a world that isn't built for either extreme end of the measuring tape.
Load More Replies... Kristin 3 weeks ago
I don't see anything wrong with OP and what she said, she gave e fair warning and MIL ignored them. Ugh I absolutely can't stand in laws who think cause they are visiting that they are entitled to do as they wish and expect to not be told something and when they are they act surprised or offended. Thank God my in laws are amazing and respect my home. I love to see wife is taller than husband lol as iam taller then mine. We always get weird stares and asked why we are together or if it bothers us with the height difference. Ummm no it don't cause if it did we wouldn't be together duh lol I will admit at first it was different cause I've always dated taller men and my ex husband was 6'4 and me at 5'6 so ya
Upstaged75 3 weeks ago
You don't rearrange another person's house. Plain and simple. Not hard to understand.
Melissa Harris 3 weeks ago (edited)
It's outrageously rude and presumptuous to rearrange any part of another persons home without their permission. This is a power play. MIL is jealous of the OPs statuesque height (I am too, I'm a short girl😅). Also, her reaction to the OPs husband rightly supporting her against this blatant disrespect for his wife in her own home is pretty telling of what's actually going on. MIL has some codependency issues with her son. The likely reason she's always been passively aggressive is the OP threatens the unhealthy dynamic where she' views her son as her man. The fact he's not embarrassed and confused at her behavior but feels 'uncomfortable'; which I'm assuming means guilty, is a good indicator that she's been emotionally manipulative and codependent his whole life. It's a form of emotional abuse.The OP needs to send mommy dearest back home. She can sleep on her couch while they fix the roof.
Beak Hookage 3 weeks ago
I hate how people act like entitled jerks, then turn on the waterworks when the consequences they should have seen coming arrive. It's so gross and manipulative.
Beth Wheeler 3 weeks ago
Their house, their rules She was told by her son multiple times to stop rearranging the kitchen. She is a guest in their house and was being very rude and entitled. I don't blame this lady for wanting her MIL gone. I'm 5' 4" and would never move something in somebody else's house because I didn't want to use a step stool if they had one.
FreeTheUnicorn 3 weeks ago
This wasn't over her setting aside one coffee mug for herself so she could get to it easily. She is rearranging someone else's home. It doesn't matter why, that's not ok. I don't expect this is the only point on which she's been a nightmare guest. Nothing to feel bad about.
notlikeyou1971 3 weeks ago
She's NTA. MIL was asked to stop rearranging things numerous times but kept doing it. You don't act that way in someone's home. It's rude and entitled. There's a stepstool. She's too lazy to use it. Id do exactly what OP did. Just because you are " family" doesn't excuse bad, entitled behavior. The only way I could see not using a stool is if you were like me, DISABLED Then all things could be brought down within reach so a person could help She's repeatedly done this.Actions have consequences. She either plays by the rules or looks up hotels
Angela C 3 weeks ago
It doesn't matter how tall or short any of these people are, it's rude to go into someone's house and rearrange things without their permission. MIL could easily have asked if one or two things could be left in a lower cabinet to be more accessible for her but she didn't. She was rude and passive aggressive. Also my mom is 5'1" and my dad was at his tallest 5'10 or 11 and neither they nor anyone else I've ever met has put their mugs in their lower cabinets
n75mk9nk2n 3 weeks ago
When I first moved in with my roommate, his parents came to visit the apartment a few days after we moved in. The first thing his mom did was rearrange the kitchen. Our kitchen. The one we'd already arranged the way we wanted it. When I saw this, I didn't say anything, I didn't raise a fuss... I just quietly and calmly put everything back where it was supposed to be, while she was there watching. She's hated me ever since. Roommate and I have long since gone our separate ways but are still very good friends, and his mom is still a psycho.
Winnie the Moo 3 weeks ago
Totally weird staying in someone else’s hime and go around rearranging stuff
Littlemiss 3 weeks ago
I'm 5'1, my husband is 6'1, he keeps his c**p at the top of the cupboards, and I keep my c**p in draws. The mil needs to get a life. She sounds like my mother who would pick the eye out of a needle and moan about it.
Debby Keir 3 weeks ago (edited)
Compromise - put ONE mug lower down, and yay, she's sorted. Edit - choose the most fugly you have.
Dusty's mom 3 weeks ago
Buy an elongated grabber and keep it in the kitchen. I'm 4'9" and spouse is 6'. I'm too arthritic for a stepstool, and the high cupboards are his to arrange as he wishes. The lower ones are my domain. We make it work. The grabber is available at most pharmacies and department stores. As for your heels; better start weaning yourself off of them. The pain only worsens with age. Keep them for special occasions, but be kind to your poor joints.
FlamingRed 2 weeks ago
Who moves every mug from a wall cabinet into a base cabinet? Someone who's purposefully being a b*itch. Since she's obviously so uncomfortable at OP's house, let her go back home and be uncomfortable sleeping in her own living room.
Ruth Watry 3 weeks ago
When my mom used to visit, I would specifically tell her not to do certain things, and she did them anyways. She is no longer welcome in my house. I gave her a few chances to change, and she refused.
sweet emotion 3 weeks ago
I had to laugh.....when I would visit my Dad, who was left-handed, if I used his computer I always made sure to put the mouse back on the left for his convenience. I would never have even considered rearranging his kitchen to suit my tastes. I guess my mother taught me to be respectful of other people's homes.
Trillian 3 weeks ago
Aside from the issue, as a tall girl myself: turn your lower cupboards into drawers. Much easier to get into.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
This is just excellent advice all around! As a certified Overgrown Munchkin from Munchkin Land, I approve this message. And now I make as much sense as Grape Walls of Ire, when they claimed that they could tell the validity of someones height based on what they wrote. All joking and not so subtle digs aside, lower cabinet drawers are by far superior to lower cabinet shelves.
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Cyber Returns 3 weeks ago
First of all NTA. Second, get a mug tree. Finally get her to move out with comments like: "Hubby is so fun! He does not have to bend over and put his back out to give me oral!" and "When we really get into it and I'm riding him, I like to pick him up between my legs and pretend I'm riding a broom stick at Hogwarts!" Embarrass the hell out of her!
Panda Cat 2 weeks ago
I have a library stool, and I love it. If you don't know what I mean, it’s a round stool on wheels, but the outer layer moves down when you step on it, so it doesn't move. It has two layers, but I’m not sure if the lower level has a purpose. It's great because you can just give it a kick to relocate it.
Willie D'Kay 3 weeks ago
Wow, some of the yta comments. 28 and can't possibly have a bad back? Especially with being tall, which puts more force on a back not really designed to be so stretched out and oversized? The ableism is strong with those peaches.
Vicki Parslow Stafford 3 weeks ago
OP should slip over to MIL's house and totally reorganise HER kitchen before she moves back home.
CBolt 3 weeks ago (edited)
NTA At one point ridiculous MIL said it's her son's house too, as if OP has selfisly arranged the kitchen with only herself in mind & is mistreating her husband. But the couple's kitchen arrangements had been decided on by them & were working fine. & She was rearranging things to "make it more convenient." For whom? Surely not even for herself since I doubt her own mugs are in a bottom cabinet. It's some kind of power play but what is she thinking she can accomplish? Cause OP to move out of her own home so she'll have her son to herself? OP shouldn't be rude to a guest, she says.It's the guest who's being inexcusably rude & OP has been incredibly forbearing. Of course the tears are for the benefit of her son & he's doing a grand job of standing firm with OP. So, when MIL comes out from her pity party, probably with some other ploy up her sleeve, I'd present her with the 2 choices: STAY OUT of the kitchen or STAY somewhere else. If there's 1 more incident, put her bags on the front porch & assist her out the door (OK, give her a few minutes to make a hotel reservation & then arrange transportation for her). Curious: OP said the roof leak is over MIL's bedroom & she wouldn't be comfortable in the living room, so does MIL have only the one bedroom? & Has anybody in the family actually seen this leak? Or checked on the status of the repair?
Mad McQueen 3 weeks ago
My cousin was 4’1” an her husband 6’9”. Yeah they compromised. But funniest story was when they first moved into their home and were painting. She did all the lower parts and he did all the high spots. He goofed on her tell her to stop getting paint on the ceiling.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
I accidentally replied to my own post instead of yours. Lol. This is how my bestie and I painted her house. I'm 5'1" and she is 5'8".
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ToGo 3 weeks ago
Tall, short, something in between, you just don't rearrange someone else's home of your own volition. In this particular situation, if it was my mother visiting, I'd have likely made her her own basket of things that she could access easily without having to use a stool every time she wanted to eat or drink but then my mother would never be an ahole to my partner or outwardly criticise their height.
Opal 6 hours ago
The MIL could have just asked if perhaps a couple of mugs, bowls, and plates be allowed to be kept in a lower cabinet for her use while visiting...it doesn't have to be an all or nothing type of issue! Of course, it was wrong of her to rearrange the kitchen - especially after being told NOT to do that!
Janine Randall 3 days ago
MIL sounds like she believes she has the power in her son's home. She doesn't She's a GUEST. As others have suggested, putting things for her on her level makes sense, but other than that, she's got no business re-arranging anything. Sorry if hubby/son is uncomfortable, but he's not the one that should be placating mommy. Wife needs to come first.
Kate Johnson 1 week ago
Who the F rearranges other people's houses to suit themselves? That's a staggering level of delusional entitlement.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 2 weeks ago
I bet if her son was the taller one, it wouldnt cross her mind to rearrange layout. I'm 5.6. husband is 6.2. so things are organised so the things that are too high up for me to reach without a stepstool (which we do have) are the things I don't need as often, and I can ask him to get them down if necessary. even though I'm the short one, it does hurt my back getting into lower cupboards, so we're looking at repurposing the hallway cupboard as additional kitchen storage where things I need to get to more regularly are more at eye level. people arrange their kitchen storage in a way that makes sense to the flow of how they use their kitchen. I wouldn't dream of rearranging someone elses.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
The YTAs are insane. I measure up to the venerable height of 5'1". My BF is 5'8", her hubby is 6'4", 3 out of 4 (2M, 1F) of her children are taller than her and 1(F) is 5'6". She is a SAHM and so was I, but my children are grown. However, I am disabled so I still don't work. We live 12+ hours away from each other, but where she lives is difficult to fly to which equals expensive. What all of this means is that when I visit her I do so for months at a time, yearly. Her husband is an amazing man to allow and tolerate my staying so long. And I love the time with my Godchildren. I have never, and would never ask them to rearrange their home for me. You know what happens when I can't reach something in the kitchen? Which is like everything because they raised the cabinets when we remodeled their kitchen. (I helped, it was DIY) They laugh at me, make short jokes and then hand me whatever it is. I get scolded if I try to use the step ladder because I don't want to inconvenience anyone.
Taffy Renee 3 weeks ago
I wonder why they didn't compromise and put some stuff down for MIL to get easily? I'm in a wheelchair so I 'have' to have things down low.
Deborah B 3 weeks ago
I get wanting to be able to reach things, but who re-arranges someone elses kitchen? Move one or two of the mugs to a lower cupboard, and ask for them to be kept there while you stay, so you don't have to climb on a step stool. Moving all of them, and presumably moving the contents of that cupboard, is extremely entitled and rude. MIL is the AH here. If she's repeated crossing boundries after being asked to stop, telling her she's free to move into a hotel, or go home, is sensible.
Caroline Starr 3 weeks ago
My daughter is 5'11" and her husband is 5'6", I am 5'7". When I do dishes I wash and dry them and if I know exactly where they go input them away, if I'm not sure I leave them on the counter for one of them to put away. This is compounded by the fact that SIL is registered blind, so needs to know where to find stuff. I hate people putting things away in the wrong place myself, so I understand. Tellingly, I don't believe his mother has ever stayed with them.
Janissary35680 3 weeks ago
As others have pointed out, MIL"s behavior is all about entitlement and control but TBH I have the thinnest possible sliver of sympathy for MIL because I also absolutely hate having to work in someone else's kitchen. I can't find ANYTHING because nothing is "where it should be". 😱 That said, I'd also never have the nerve to start rearranging stuff.
Grape Walls of Ire 3 weeks ago
I'm seeing a lot of hidden comments, including my own. Speaking for myself, I have no ill will towards the OP, unless of course the whole story is fake. As someone who is actually 6'6", I have to question the validity of some of the statements she made. It that alone generates negative reactions, so be it.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
How exactly do you question the validity of height from the written word? Tall people can't compromise with shorter cohabitors on how to arrange things? Tall people can't have back or knee problems? Tall people can't wear 6" heels? (I will remind you drag queens exist and I doubt anyone is going to tell RuPaul they can't wear 7" stilettos) Tall people can't be attracted to shorter people? Tall people can't like coffee? Short people can't have narcissistic, emotionally abusive family members? Please enlighten the readers with your singular entity existance on how to discern real tall people from fake tall people based on what they write.
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Chris the Bobcat 3 weeks ago
Petty as fvck, but OP should take something of value to MIL, wave it in front of her face, then hold it over her head and see if she tries to jump for it.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
I'm petty enough that my little black heart is just tickled to death at the imagery of this. And I routinely get height jokes for the basically everything I can't reach in my bestie's kitchen. By her, her hubby and her 4 children.
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Janissary35680 3 weeks ago (edited)
😱 Kind of like "The MIL who came to dinner: A horror story". It has possibilities. 😂 I'll get back to you.
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Betsy S 3 weeks ago
If only "calm but firm" had worked, even once in this scenario. Sadly, it did not.
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
What's your point? OP is allowed to wear 6" heels if she wants to. I'm sure she has the spatial awareness to duck when she is walking through a door while wearing them.
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
I don't think you should dare to presume that someone else does or doesn't feel pain when they kneel, my friend. It is quite abhorrent of you to assume "how on earth can kneeling down hurt your back ffs" when they're a stranger to you and you know literally nothing about their life. Also, OP is allowed to wear high heels if she wishes to, REGARDLESS of her height. OP is also allowed to place HER cups and mugs where SHE wants them in HER HOME, and does not need to adhere to your demands that "CUPS BELONG ON EYE HEIGHT LEVEL , like normal people lmao". I would normally have sympathy for your own chronic pain, but your foul, grotesque attitude and complete lack of empathy and sympathy for a fellow human being makes you look like what you are: a terrible person, undeserving of the sympathy that you refuse to show for another person.
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Robin Roper 3 weeks ago
This has nothing to do with the OP being rude to her MIL; this is about the MIL being a rude and entitled guest in her son and his wife's home. I can't imagine having the nerve to rearrange someone else's kitchen.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 3 weeks ago
And the YTA's are out again. Obviously insufferable a******s who think everyone should cater to them.
Debra Robinson 3 weeks ago (edited)
Def , bad as entitled cünt mil. Morons.
Load More Replies... CalamityOne 3 weeks ago
I'm sorry, but if I'm a guest in someone's home, I'm almost afraid to touch anything, nevermind re-arranging their kitchen cupboards
Amy S 3 weeks ago
Hard agree. I once moved the fancy sofa cushions to sit on an inlaws sofa and got stressed that I couldn't remember how they were arranged when I went to put them back. I cannot imagine the audacity to rearrange someone kitchen cupboards.
Load More Replies... Sue User 3 weeks ago
At 5'7" i was the vertically challenged ones in the household. Father 6'6" , Brother 6'4" , Sister 5' 11.5" ( i suspect she is taller but doesnt want to be over 6 foot ). But I would much rather have a step stool than try to get something out of the back of a lower cupboard.
Janissary35680 3 weeks ago
I'm 6'3" and my wife was 5'4". We did have a stepladder but because both of us had balance issues, we solved our problem by essentially having three kitchens: High (for the stuff I needed), Low (for the stuff she needed), and Middle (for stuff we both used and could be kept at counter level).
Load More Replies... Uncle Schmickle 3 weeks ago
Excuse the pun, but it's the "height" of ignorance to go into someone else's home and move things around to suit yourself.
Bette 3 weeks ago
I believe the main issue here has nothing to do with height and everything to do with control. As the OP said, her MIL did not like her from the time she became friends with the daughter. Marrying the son was, in the MIL's mind, beyond the pale! The OP's height became the "hill" on which the MIL was prepared to die on in EVERY scenario of life - the kitchen, her daughter's wedding, the wearing heels.....etc....
Rebel Peewee 3 weeks ago
What is with the "YTA, you don't have a disability". Have these people never validated a single tall person's frustrations with being too tall for most things to be comfortable? It's not easy being 6'6.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
It's really not. I find it amusing in a morbid way, that I at 5'1" notice how difficult things are for tall people, when people that are more average in height don't. Maybe because of the difficulties we have as short people we have a mutual bond in trying to live in a world that isn't built for either extreme end of the measuring tape.
Load More Replies... Kristin 3 weeks ago
I don't see anything wrong with OP and what she said, she gave e fair warning and MIL ignored them. Ugh I absolutely can't stand in laws who think cause they are visiting that they are entitled to do as they wish and expect to not be told something and when they are they act surprised or offended. Thank God my in laws are amazing and respect my home. I love to see wife is taller than husband lol as iam taller then mine. We always get weird stares and asked why we are together or if it bothers us with the height difference. Ummm no it don't cause if it did we wouldn't be together duh lol I will admit at first it was different cause I've always dated taller men and my ex husband was 6'4 and me at 5'6 so ya
Upstaged75 3 weeks ago
You don't rearrange another person's house. Plain and simple. Not hard to understand.
Melissa Harris 3 weeks ago (edited)
It's outrageously rude and presumptuous to rearrange any part of another persons home without their permission. This is a power play. MIL is jealous of the OPs statuesque height (I am too, I'm a short girl😅). Also, her reaction to the OPs husband rightly supporting her against this blatant disrespect for his wife in her own home is pretty telling of what's actually going on. MIL has some codependency issues with her son. The likely reason she's always been passively aggressive is the OP threatens the unhealthy dynamic where she' views her son as her man. The fact he's not embarrassed and confused at her behavior but feels 'uncomfortable'; which I'm assuming means guilty, is a good indicator that she's been emotionally manipulative and codependent his whole life. It's a form of emotional abuse.The OP needs to send mommy dearest back home. She can sleep on her couch while they fix the roof.
Beak Hookage 3 weeks ago
I hate how people act like entitled jerks, then turn on the waterworks when the consequences they should have seen coming arrive. It's so gross and manipulative.
Beth Wheeler 3 weeks ago
Their house, their rules She was told by her son multiple times to stop rearranging the kitchen. She is a guest in their house and was being very rude and entitled. I don't blame this lady for wanting her MIL gone. I'm 5' 4" and would never move something in somebody else's house because I didn't want to use a step stool if they had one.
FreeTheUnicorn 3 weeks ago
This wasn't over her setting aside one coffee mug for herself so she could get to it easily. She is rearranging someone else's home. It doesn't matter why, that's not ok. I don't expect this is the only point on which she's been a nightmare guest. Nothing to feel bad about.
notlikeyou1971 3 weeks ago
She's NTA. MIL was asked to stop rearranging things numerous times but kept doing it. You don't act that way in someone's home. It's rude and entitled. There's a stepstool. She's too lazy to use it. Id do exactly what OP did. Just because you are " family" doesn't excuse bad, entitled behavior. The only way I could see not using a stool is if you were like me, DISABLED Then all things could be brought down within reach so a person could help She's repeatedly done this.Actions have consequences. She either plays by the rules or looks up hotels
Angela C 3 weeks ago
It doesn't matter how tall or short any of these people are, it's rude to go into someone's house and rearrange things without their permission. MIL could easily have asked if one or two things could be left in a lower cabinet to be more accessible for her but she didn't. She was rude and passive aggressive. Also my mom is 5'1" and my dad was at his tallest 5'10 or 11 and neither they nor anyone else I've ever met has put their mugs in their lower cabinets
n75mk9nk2n 3 weeks ago
When I first moved in with my roommate, his parents came to visit the apartment a few days after we moved in. The first thing his mom did was rearrange the kitchen. Our kitchen. The one we'd already arranged the way we wanted it. When I saw this, I didn't say anything, I didn't raise a fuss... I just quietly and calmly put everything back where it was supposed to be, while she was there watching. She's hated me ever since. Roommate and I have long since gone our separate ways but are still very good friends, and his mom is still a psycho.
Winnie the Moo 3 weeks ago
Totally weird staying in someone else’s hime and go around rearranging stuff
Littlemiss 3 weeks ago
I'm 5'1, my husband is 6'1, he keeps his c**p at the top of the cupboards, and I keep my c**p in draws. The mil needs to get a life. She sounds like my mother who would pick the eye out of a needle and moan about it.
Debby Keir 3 weeks ago (edited)
Compromise - put ONE mug lower down, and yay, she's sorted. Edit - choose the most fugly you have.
Dusty's mom 3 weeks ago
Buy an elongated grabber and keep it in the kitchen. I'm 4'9" and spouse is 6'. I'm too arthritic for a stepstool, and the high cupboards are his to arrange as he wishes. The lower ones are my domain. We make it work. The grabber is available at most pharmacies and department stores. As for your heels; better start weaning yourself off of them. The pain only worsens with age. Keep them for special occasions, but be kind to your poor joints.
FlamingRed 2 weeks ago
Who moves every mug from a wall cabinet into a base cabinet? Someone who's purposefully being a b*itch. Since she's obviously so uncomfortable at OP's house, let her go back home and be uncomfortable sleeping in her own living room.
Ruth Watry 3 weeks ago
When my mom used to visit, I would specifically tell her not to do certain things, and she did them anyways. She is no longer welcome in my house. I gave her a few chances to change, and she refused.
sweet emotion 3 weeks ago
I had to laugh.....when I would visit my Dad, who was left-handed, if I used his computer I always made sure to put the mouse back on the left for his convenience. I would never have even considered rearranging his kitchen to suit my tastes. I guess my mother taught me to be respectful of other people's homes.
Trillian 3 weeks ago
Aside from the issue, as a tall girl myself: turn your lower cupboards into drawers. Much easier to get into.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
This is just excellent advice all around! As a certified Overgrown Munchkin from Munchkin Land, I approve this message. And now I make as much sense as Grape Walls of Ire, when they claimed that they could tell the validity of someones height based on what they wrote. All joking and not so subtle digs aside, lower cabinet drawers are by far superior to lower cabinet shelves.
Load More Replies... Cyber Returns 3 weeks ago
First of all NTA. Second, get a mug tree. Finally get her to move out with comments like: "Hubby is so fun! He does not have to bend over and put his back out to give me oral!" and "When we really get into it and I'm riding him, I like to pick him up between my legs and pretend I'm riding a broom stick at Hogwarts!" Embarrass the hell out of her!
Panda Cat 2 weeks ago
I have a library stool, and I love it. If you don't know what I mean, it’s a round stool on wheels, but the outer layer moves down when you step on it, so it doesn't move. It has two layers, but I’m not sure if the lower level has a purpose. It's great because you can just give it a kick to relocate it.
Willie D'Kay 3 weeks ago
Wow, some of the yta comments. 28 and can't possibly have a bad back? Especially with being tall, which puts more force on a back not really designed to be so stretched out and oversized? The ableism is strong with those peaches.
Vicki Parslow Stafford 3 weeks ago
OP should slip over to MIL's house and totally reorganise HER kitchen before she moves back home.
CBolt 3 weeks ago (edited)
NTA At one point ridiculous MIL said it's her son's house too, as if OP has selfisly arranged the kitchen with only herself in mind & is mistreating her husband. But the couple's kitchen arrangements had been decided on by them & were working fine. & She was rearranging things to "make it more convenient." For whom? Surely not even for herself since I doubt her own mugs are in a bottom cabinet. It's some kind of power play but what is she thinking she can accomplish? Cause OP to move out of her own home so she'll have her son to herself? OP shouldn't be rude to a guest, she says.It's the guest who's being inexcusably rude & OP has been incredibly forbearing. Of course the tears are for the benefit of her son & he's doing a grand job of standing firm with OP. So, when MIL comes out from her pity party, probably with some other ploy up her sleeve, I'd present her with the 2 choices: STAY OUT of the kitchen or STAY somewhere else. If there's 1 more incident, put her bags on the front porch & assist her out the door (OK, give her a few minutes to make a hotel reservation & then arrange transportation for her). Curious: OP said the roof leak is over MIL's bedroom & she wouldn't be comfortable in the living room, so does MIL have only the one bedroom? & Has anybody in the family actually seen this leak? Or checked on the status of the repair?
Mad McQueen 3 weeks ago
My cousin was 4’1” an her husband 6’9”. Yeah they compromised. But funniest story was when they first moved into their home and were painting. She did all the lower parts and he did all the high spots. He goofed on her tell her to stop getting paint on the ceiling.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
I accidentally replied to my own post instead of yours. Lol. This is how my bestie and I painted her house. I'm 5'1" and she is 5'8".
Load More Replies... ToGo 3 weeks ago
Tall, short, something in between, you just don't rearrange someone else's home of your own volition. In this particular situation, if it was my mother visiting, I'd have likely made her her own basket of things that she could access easily without having to use a stool every time she wanted to eat or drink but then my mother would never be an ahole to my partner or outwardly criticise their height.
Opal 6 hours ago
The MIL could have just asked if perhaps a couple of mugs, bowls, and plates be allowed to be kept in a lower cabinet for her use while visiting...it doesn't have to be an all or nothing type of issue! Of course, it was wrong of her to rearrange the kitchen - especially after being told NOT to do that!
Janine Randall 3 days ago
MIL sounds like she believes she has the power in her son's home. She doesn't She's a GUEST. As others have suggested, putting things for her on her level makes sense, but other than that, she's got no business re-arranging anything. Sorry if hubby/son is uncomfortable, but he's not the one that should be placating mommy. Wife needs to come first.
Kate Johnson 1 week ago
Who the F rearranges other people's houses to suit themselves? That's a staggering level of delusional entitlement.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 2 weeks ago
I bet if her son was the taller one, it wouldnt cross her mind to rearrange layout. I'm 5.6. husband is 6.2. so things are organised so the things that are too high up for me to reach without a stepstool (which we do have) are the things I don't need as often, and I can ask him to get them down if necessary. even though I'm the short one, it does hurt my back getting into lower cupboards, so we're looking at repurposing the hallway cupboard as additional kitchen storage where things I need to get to more regularly are more at eye level. people arrange their kitchen storage in a way that makes sense to the flow of how they use their kitchen. I wouldn't dream of rearranging someone elses.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
The YTAs are insane. I measure up to the venerable height of 5'1". My BF is 5'8", her hubby is 6'4", 3 out of 4 (2M, 1F) of her children are taller than her and 1(F) is 5'6". She is a SAHM and so was I, but my children are grown. However, I am disabled so I still don't work. We live 12+ hours away from each other, but where she lives is difficult to fly to which equals expensive. What all of this means is that when I visit her I do so for months at a time, yearly. Her husband is an amazing man to allow and tolerate my staying so long. And I love the time with my Godchildren. I have never, and would never ask them to rearrange their home for me. You know what happens when I can't reach something in the kitchen? Which is like everything because they raised the cabinets when we remodeled their kitchen. (I helped, it was DIY) They laugh at me, make short jokes and then hand me whatever it is. I get scolded if I try to use the step ladder because I don't want to inconvenience anyone.
Taffy Renee 3 weeks ago
I wonder why they didn't compromise and put some stuff down for MIL to get easily? I'm in a wheelchair so I 'have' to have things down low.
Deborah B 3 weeks ago
I get wanting to be able to reach things, but who re-arranges someone elses kitchen? Move one or two of the mugs to a lower cupboard, and ask for them to be kept there while you stay, so you don't have to climb on a step stool. Moving all of them, and presumably moving the contents of that cupboard, is extremely entitled and rude. MIL is the AH here. If she's repeated crossing boundries after being asked to stop, telling her she's free to move into a hotel, or go home, is sensible.
Caroline Starr 3 weeks ago
My daughter is 5'11" and her husband is 5'6", I am 5'7". When I do dishes I wash and dry them and if I know exactly where they go input them away, if I'm not sure I leave them on the counter for one of them to put away. This is compounded by the fact that SIL is registered blind, so needs to know where to find stuff. I hate people putting things away in the wrong place myself, so I understand. Tellingly, I don't believe his mother has ever stayed with them.
Janissary35680 3 weeks ago
As others have pointed out, MIL"s behavior is all about entitlement and control but TBH I have the thinnest possible sliver of sympathy for MIL because I also absolutely hate having to work in someone else's kitchen. I can't find ANYTHING because nothing is "where it should be". 😱 That said, I'd also never have the nerve to start rearranging stuff.
Grape Walls of Ire 3 weeks ago
I'm seeing a lot of hidden comments, including my own. Speaking for myself, I have no ill will towards the OP, unless of course the whole story is fake. As someone who is actually 6'6", I have to question the validity of some of the statements she made. It that alone generates negative reactions, so be it.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
How exactly do you question the validity of height from the written word? Tall people can't compromise with shorter cohabitors on how to arrange things? Tall people can't have back or knee problems? Tall people can't wear 6" heels? (I will remind you drag queens exist and I doubt anyone is going to tell RuPaul they can't wear 7" stilettos) Tall people can't be attracted to shorter people? Tall people can't like coffee? Short people can't have narcissistic, emotionally abusive family members? Please enlighten the readers with your singular entity existance on how to discern real tall people from fake tall people based on what they write.
Load More Replies... Chris the Bobcat 3 weeks ago
Petty as fvck, but OP should take something of value to MIL, wave it in front of her face, then hold it over her head and see if she tries to jump for it.
painttheyellowsubgreen 2 weeks ago
I'm petty enough that my little black heart is just tickled to death at the imagery of this. And I routinely get height jokes for the basically everything I can't reach in my bestie's kitchen. By her, her hubby and her 4 children.
Load More Replies... Janissary35680 3 weeks ago (edited)
😱 Kind of like "The MIL who came to dinner: A horror story". It has possibilities. 😂 I'll get back to you.
Load More Replies... Betsy S 3 weeks ago
If only "calm but firm" had worked, even once in this scenario. Sadly, it did not.
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
What's your point? OP is allowed to wear 6" heels if she wants to. I'm sure she has the spatial awareness to duck when she is walking through a door while wearing them.
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago
I don't think you should dare to presume that someone else does or doesn't feel pain when they kneel, my friend. It is quite abhorrent of you to assume "how on earth can kneeling down hurt your back ffs" when they're a stranger to you and you know literally nothing about their life. Also, OP is allowed to wear high heels if she wishes to, REGARDLESS of her height. OP is also allowed to place HER cups and mugs where SHE wants them in HER HOME, and does not need to adhere to your demands that "CUPS BELONG ON EYE HEIGHT LEVEL , like normal people lmao". I would normally have sympathy for your own chronic pain, but your foul, grotesque attitude and complete lack of empathy and sympathy for a fellow human being makes you look like what you are: a terrible person, undeserving of the sympathy that you refuse to show for another person.
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