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Boyfriend Surprises His Pregnant Girlfriend With A House She Absolutely Hates, She Says He Can Live There By Himself, Drama Ensues
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Boyfriend Surprises His Pregnant Girlfriend With A House She Absolutely Hates, She Says He Can Live There By Himself, Drama Ensues

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Planning is an essential part of a relationship. When a couple has a roadmap, making decisions becomes much easier since they can clearly see what aligns with their shared vision for the future and what doesn’t. However, that’s often easier said than done.

A pregnant woman on the Am I the A***ole? subreddit asked whether she made a mistake by refusing to move into a house that her boyfriend had bought—the core of the problem lies in the fact that she had explicitly told him she didn’t want to get one yet but he made the decision despite it. Her story serves as a cautionary reminder of what happens when partners fail to communicate.

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    After this woman became unexpectedly pregnant, she decided to keep the child

    Image credits: Downtowngal (not the actual photo)

    But the next surprise in her life was simply too much for her

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    Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Hot-Story6936

    The couple has gotten themselves into a really uncomfortable corner

    Every now and then, couples face decisions about child care, career changes, job loss, financial hardships, relocation, and moving in together on a wonky timeline, forcing all kinds of big conversations.

    But it’s possible to come out of these situations feeling more connected and in sync. According to therapist Irina Firstein, “What happens normally is that people are listening, but really they can’t wait for the other person to stop moving their lips so they can start talking.”

    “That habit doesn’t just hurt your partner, it’s going to increase conflict if you aren’t actually taking in what your partner is saying,” the therapist said. And this seems to be exactly what happened to the author of this Reddit post.

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    Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)

    It sounds like they should get some perspective and look at things from each other’s point of view

    “You should not be waiting for small breaks in your partner’s words to try to get your point in; that’s likely an unproductive dialogue on both sides. Wait an extra second or two longer than you normally would after your partner stops talking and see if they’re actually done. It will force you to listen better and it will make them feel heard, which is often one of the most important parts of conflict resolution—the fact that your partner cares to hear what your concerns are.”

    Instead of thinking about what was best for him, the Redditor’s boyfriend probably should’ve focused more on what was best for them as a couple.

    Firstein highlighted trying to reframe some of the difficult albeit necessary sacrifices that partners are going to have to make. The person who feels like they’re giving something up or who might feel that they “lost” something can easily become resentful.

    To avoid this, the therapist tells her clients, “Feel good that you actually are the strong one, you actually are the strong one in the relationship because you can tolerate things better than the other person even when not having your way.” Plus, not every life decision is going to be permanent, either.

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    Maybe if the man would’ve waited a bit, giving time for himself and his girlfriend to settle into their new role as parents, she would’ve felt more comfortable about getting a new place together, too.

    Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

    Most people who read the story said the woman did nothing wrong

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    But some thought that everyone involved made mistakes that led to the unpleasant situation

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Author, Community member

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    Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Austėja Akavickaitė

    Author, Community member

    Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

    What do you think ?
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    ChristineLynch
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I’ve gained only within four weeks by comfortably working part-time from home. Immediately when I had lost my last business, mtg I was very troubled and thankfully following website___________ http://worksite76.blogspot.com/

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    Seabeast
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Renting is NOT THROWING MONEY AWAY!!! I wish people would stop saying that. You need a roof over your head, renting is one way to get it. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely advantages to owning, but it's not the be-all and end-all.

    Powerful Katrinka
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glad to hear someone finally say this! I owned a house for over 15 years, until life threw me a curveball and I had to sell it. That was about 10 years ago, and I am finding so much freedom, both financially and emotionally, in just renting. I don't ever, ever want to own a house again.

    Load More Replies...
    L.V
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so stupid. My cousin bought a fixer upper and had to work on it every weekend while renting for 2 years before it was inhabitable... And that was without having a child!

    Load More Comments
    ChristineLynch
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I’ve gained only within four weeks by comfortably working part-time from home. Immediately when I had lost my last business, mtg I was very troubled and thankfully following website___________ http://worksite76.blogspot.com/

    Load More Replies...
    Seabeast
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Renting is NOT THROWING MONEY AWAY!!! I wish people would stop saying that. You need a roof over your head, renting is one way to get it. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely advantages to owning, but it's not the be-all and end-all.

    Powerful Katrinka
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glad to hear someone finally say this! I owned a house for over 15 years, until life threw me a curveball and I had to sell it. That was about 10 years ago, and I am finding so much freedom, both financially and emotionally, in just renting. I don't ever, ever want to own a house again.

    Load More Replies...
    L.V
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so stupid. My cousin bought a fixer upper and had to work on it every weekend while renting for 2 years before it was inhabitable... And that was without having a child!

    Load More Comments
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