A woman’s recent encounter with a man at the gym left her feeling quite shaken — but it seems as though the Internet isn’t quite sure what all the fuss is about.
Adult content creator Violet Starr uploaded what she deemed to be an inappropriate interaction on TikTok last week, using it as an example of why so many women find themselves in undesirable situations while working out.
- Violet Starr filmed a video in the gym that was meant to show harassment — but commentors didn't buy it.
- The video showcased a man who complimented her on her physique.
- Netizens thought Violet was overreacting, and instead pointed fingers at what she may have been wearing.
- A psychologist noted that gyms are often intimidating spaces for some women.
“This is why I don’t go to public gyms anymore,” read the white text overlaying the clip.
A woman’s claim that a man harassed her in the gym quickly backfired
Image credits: missvioletstarr
In the video, the influencer filmed herself as she walked down a brightly-lit hallway, approaching two other gymgoers on the side.
As she got closer, one of the men looked up, smiled and asked, “Excuse me, what are you, like a teacher?”
After Violet clarified she wasn’t, he continued, “Because you’re so fit, beautifully fit, and you work out so hard, I thought maybe you were a [personal trainer] or something.”
Image credits: Anastase Maragos / Unsplash (Not the actual photo)
Sounding visibly uncomfortable, the content creator simply replied with, “No, I’m not,” before the video abruptly ends.
It certainly attracted attention, garnering over 108,000 views since its posting — but it wasn’t the kind of attention Violet had hoped for.
At the time of writing, she had turned off all her comments, but Herald Sun was able to report what a few of them read, as it seemed like netizens were trying to accuse her of making a big deal out of an “innocent chat.”
“[She goes] to the gym in revealing costumes with the intent of provoking a reaction from men so [she] can play the victim,” one person said.
Many netizens brought up the outfit Violet was wearing — although she never filmed herself
Image credits: missvioletstarr
“It’s the cleavage trap,” another claimed, saying, “baggy, unattractive loose clothing” was the key to staying unbothered. “Women wear plunging, open necklines — then complain if a man looks.”
Someone else agreed, “These women put on display what mother nature has designed to attract male attention and then act surprised when it works. It’s all an act.”
A fourth had an issue with the interaction being on video in the first place.
Image credits: missvioletstarr
@missvioletstarr2.0That awkward gym moment that made me want to skip… until you walked in♬ original sound – missvioletstarr2.0
“As a man, any woman trying to film me (something that’s an enormous invasion of privacy and I would never consider doing) at a gym is going to be viewed by me as a predator with ulterior motives.
“That’s because any human who actually feels uncomfortable or threatened would leave, not intentionally interact with the person for the purpose of putting it on the internet.”
Reportedly, Violet had noted that this particular incident was on the tamer side, but wanted to use it as a way to highlight more intolerable interactions she’s had at the gym previously. It is unclear whether this took place before or after the barrage of accusations.
One user pointed at the content creator’s decision to film the interaction in the first place
Image credits: missvioletstarr
And while she did receive her fair share of hate comments, a few people empathized with her, saying that they have also faced similar situations.
The huge divide between the two sexes while working out is a startling reminder of how differently men and women tend to view exercise spaces.
Melbourne psychologist Carly Dober explained to news.com.au that gyms are typically “very masculine” areas.
“Many men, especially in male-dominated spaces, do not truly understand how intimidating it can be for some women,” she said.
Gyms were considered “very masculine” spaces
Image credits: Brock Wegner / Unsplash (Not the actual photo)
“If we are giving him the benefit of the doubt — he may have been trying to connect with her and meant nothing untoward by it, but how this is received from her perspective, and someone else’s on the internet, is a completely different story.”
Data reported by Run Repeat in 2022 put this perfectly into numbers.
According to a study, almost 56 percent of women reported having faced harassment during their workouts. Another 69 percent said they felt unsafe or adjusted their behavior after receiving unwanted attention from men.
To make matters more difficult, sharing these interactions online is no easy feat.
Image credits: missvioletstarr
Social media platforms consist of a wide variety of differing opinions, but a prominent one is a phenomenon known as “victim blaming.”
In these scenarios, some people will tend to focus on blaming what a woman is wearing rather than hold another accountable for their actions.
Very Well Mind reported that this mentality is a way for victims to cling to the belief that the world is a fair place.
“Sometimes it’s easier to convince ourselves, ‘If I dress conservatively, this won’t happen to me again.’ Or, ‘If I didn’t drink so much, I would have been able to fend off my attacker,” wrote the outlet.
Many comments did not take Violet’s side in the situation
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Designed to get attention. Bit disappointed that this site has enabled her...
Whoever downvoted you doesn't understand that this was a business move on the woman's part. Thousands of people are googling her name now and looking her up on OF.
Load More Replies...As a woman, don't peacock and then deliberately approach guys to provoke reaction then cry victim. Gtfo.
It's always bad form to comment on a stranger's body. It's also bad form to walk around in a public area and record strangers and put them on the internet. They deserve each other. If the guy was 28, gorgeous, and ripped she'd be posting about his riz. That sounds like age and body discrimination to me.
Totally. She casually decides to film a corridor that day and, very conveniently, there's a dude with a comment on her body. Unless she does it every time until she gets the desired outcome, which is mental. It's staged and a humble brag passing as a complaint.
Load More Replies...A man compliments her + she goes off? Aww, chickie, u not as hot as u *think* u r. 🙄
I think the compliment was more like a pickup line and seeing he was a man older than her father made it creepy.
Load More Replies...I've had women grab my junk in the gym all he did was ask if she was a trainer.
Don't forget that the mirrors in the gym are there so you can watch yourself to make sure you do the excersizes properly. Not for checking out your butt.
This is a reson I fear going to a gym..there's too meny influences and I don't wanna be harassed by the influencers
I believe that a woman uncomfortable with men commenting on her appearance would not be going to the gym in a very small sports bra, with full make-up. A lot of women will put a t-shirt on, or a mesh shirt, and don't wear make up because they're there to sweat. Also: "this is why I don't go to public gyms anymore?" She was filming in a public gym. If you go out in public and approach someone, you them talking to you. This guy most likely did find her attractive, and when she approached him, he attempted to start a conversation. If he hadn't backed off immediately after her "discomforted" no, I'm sure she would have shown that in the video. There is a lot of harassment in gyms, I'm sure. This doesn't look like one of those situations. It's like the idiots who go and stand directly in front guy while he's working out then "call him out" for staring at them, when he was watching his form in the mirrors until she came and parked her lycra clad butt in the middle of his sight line.
As an "adult content" creator she wants you looking but she also wants you to pay to look. No free peaks or else it's harassment.
Load More Replies...No one, no matter how "hot" they are, should act poorly. There is no level of attractive that makes bad behaviour okay.
Load More Replies...Can anyone explain to me how anyone can be "Sounding visibly uncomfortable"? Boredpanda 'journalism' strikes again.
Thank you bp for now hiding the number of replies you get on posts. Is it g going to be paywalled as well? Used to log in and it would show how many likes and replies I got.
If you go into the main menu you can find your notifications there. Kinda misses the entire point of notifications, but Boredpanda seems determined to join in with the trend of enshìttification.
Load More Replies...My gym has a women’s only area and guess what women still wear sports bras without shirts there because it’s most comfortable to workout, even solo at home. Working out in sweatpants and a t-shirt is not comfortable, makes it harder to push yourself. I wear yoga pants and a shirt but the less baggy ones are sweat wicking and easier to workout, don’t get in the way holding planks ect. Also not all men talking to women are creeps, I’ve never seen an inappropriate one at my gym but this guy in her video seemed pervy with his “beautifully fit” and him being older than her father.
She went to public and someone has talked to her. That is ALL that really happened. It is rather depressing to see someone else to unironically compare it to some actual assault. To call this girl out isn't any sort of victim blaming because she's not a victim in a first place. Someone just talked to you. If that makes you shiver it's no one else's problem but yours. Get a helmet if life's too tough for you!
Has no one yet mentioned that she is/was a PORN STAR!? Which is fine, porn stars are people too, but the men were reasonably complimentary, not creepy. There's a good chance one recognised her and was asking if she was who he thought in a roundabout way. There is 0 chance she was uncomfortable. I have seen her gobble meat in ways that make ME uncomfortable.
Two sides, one coin. I used to go to a gym where guys would sit and ogle the women in aerobics classes. It took years for Management finally to stop this poor behaviour. At the same time in the same gym there was one woman wearing see-through leotard: almost obscene. We used to call the gym “an industrial sex pit”. Me I’m old now (F76) and just wear baggy stuff, and do my best just to do something
I have a genuine question about this situation. Let's assume he was trying to flirt with her, and also assume that he stopped after the video...is what he did generally offensive to women? I'm asking because well, I'm single and go to the gym a lot and I would like to know if there's an appropriate way to approach a woman at the gym or if any attempt at all would be viewed as harassment.
If you want to dress like this: go to a women only gym. You want to train next to men: wear something more modest if you really don't want their attention.
Not, that's not the answer. I'm comfortable with a tight top and leggings. I'm not showing a lot of cleavage but I'm not gonna cover up for men. I'm also not gonna clutch my pearls if a man tells me something (unlikely, given my age). I'd just turn it down. And l definitely don't record in the gym. I only carry my phone to listen to my podcasts or check my reps
Load More Replies...Let me say first I am a gay man and have zero interest in the female form erotically. Recently it has become a bit of a pet peeve that so very many women in so very many different environments chose to dress to display a lot of the skin of their secondary sexual attributes i.e. breasts. Of course it causes people to notice and look. If these women claim they don't know that this is going to be the result, they are completely clueless of reality. I like to ask if they would. feel fine about men wearing clothing and exposed a great deal. of the skin of their testicle sack. You know, like the women do with their breasts. Maybe 50% of it. 70%. Maybe more. Would that be OK ladies? Would you promise that you wouldn't look because that would be sexual abuse of men, wouldn't it?
I'd be okay with men showing the whole package. Once you've seen one, you've seen them all. Interestingly enough, a lot of men react to boobs as if they hadn't seen a pair before. Not defending the influencer here tho. This was a staged humble brag/ rage baits for likes and clout
Load More Replies...It is not appropriate to make personal comments to anyone you do not know well. A woman's clothing is not an excuse.
Got to agree here. I do think this woman was looking for drama, undoubtedly, but I also don't think old men should be complimenting young women's bodies and vice versa - especially when you're strangers.
Load More Replies..."Hey CK you look good! " You have now become my property according to you right? F*****g insane...
Load More Replies...Designed to get attention. Bit disappointed that this site has enabled her...
Whoever downvoted you doesn't understand that this was a business move on the woman's part. Thousands of people are googling her name now and looking her up on OF.
Load More Replies...As a woman, don't peacock and then deliberately approach guys to provoke reaction then cry victim. Gtfo.
It's always bad form to comment on a stranger's body. It's also bad form to walk around in a public area and record strangers and put them on the internet. They deserve each other. If the guy was 28, gorgeous, and ripped she'd be posting about his riz. That sounds like age and body discrimination to me.
Totally. She casually decides to film a corridor that day and, very conveniently, there's a dude with a comment on her body. Unless she does it every time until she gets the desired outcome, which is mental. It's staged and a humble brag passing as a complaint.
Load More Replies...A man compliments her + she goes off? Aww, chickie, u not as hot as u *think* u r. 🙄
I think the compliment was more like a pickup line and seeing he was a man older than her father made it creepy.
Load More Replies...I've had women grab my junk in the gym all he did was ask if she was a trainer.
Don't forget that the mirrors in the gym are there so you can watch yourself to make sure you do the excersizes properly. Not for checking out your butt.
This is a reson I fear going to a gym..there's too meny influences and I don't wanna be harassed by the influencers
I believe that a woman uncomfortable with men commenting on her appearance would not be going to the gym in a very small sports bra, with full make-up. A lot of women will put a t-shirt on, or a mesh shirt, and don't wear make up because they're there to sweat. Also: "this is why I don't go to public gyms anymore?" She was filming in a public gym. If you go out in public and approach someone, you them talking to you. This guy most likely did find her attractive, and when she approached him, he attempted to start a conversation. If he hadn't backed off immediately after her "discomforted" no, I'm sure she would have shown that in the video. There is a lot of harassment in gyms, I'm sure. This doesn't look like one of those situations. It's like the idiots who go and stand directly in front guy while he's working out then "call him out" for staring at them, when he was watching his form in the mirrors until she came and parked her lycra clad butt in the middle of his sight line.
As an "adult content" creator she wants you looking but she also wants you to pay to look. No free peaks or else it's harassment.
Load More Replies...No one, no matter how "hot" they are, should act poorly. There is no level of attractive that makes bad behaviour okay.
Load More Replies...Can anyone explain to me how anyone can be "Sounding visibly uncomfortable"? Boredpanda 'journalism' strikes again.
Thank you bp for now hiding the number of replies you get on posts. Is it g going to be paywalled as well? Used to log in and it would show how many likes and replies I got.
If you go into the main menu you can find your notifications there. Kinda misses the entire point of notifications, but Boredpanda seems determined to join in with the trend of enshìttification.
Load More Replies...My gym has a women’s only area and guess what women still wear sports bras without shirts there because it’s most comfortable to workout, even solo at home. Working out in sweatpants and a t-shirt is not comfortable, makes it harder to push yourself. I wear yoga pants and a shirt but the less baggy ones are sweat wicking and easier to workout, don’t get in the way holding planks ect. Also not all men talking to women are creeps, I’ve never seen an inappropriate one at my gym but this guy in her video seemed pervy with his “beautifully fit” and him being older than her father.
She went to public and someone has talked to her. That is ALL that really happened. It is rather depressing to see someone else to unironically compare it to some actual assault. To call this girl out isn't any sort of victim blaming because she's not a victim in a first place. Someone just talked to you. If that makes you shiver it's no one else's problem but yours. Get a helmet if life's too tough for you!
Has no one yet mentioned that she is/was a PORN STAR!? Which is fine, porn stars are people too, but the men were reasonably complimentary, not creepy. There's a good chance one recognised her and was asking if she was who he thought in a roundabout way. There is 0 chance she was uncomfortable. I have seen her gobble meat in ways that make ME uncomfortable.
Two sides, one coin. I used to go to a gym where guys would sit and ogle the women in aerobics classes. It took years for Management finally to stop this poor behaviour. At the same time in the same gym there was one woman wearing see-through leotard: almost obscene. We used to call the gym “an industrial sex pit”. Me I’m old now (F76) and just wear baggy stuff, and do my best just to do something
I have a genuine question about this situation. Let's assume he was trying to flirt with her, and also assume that he stopped after the video...is what he did generally offensive to women? I'm asking because well, I'm single and go to the gym a lot and I would like to know if there's an appropriate way to approach a woman at the gym or if any attempt at all would be viewed as harassment.
If you want to dress like this: go to a women only gym. You want to train next to men: wear something more modest if you really don't want their attention.
Not, that's not the answer. I'm comfortable with a tight top and leggings. I'm not showing a lot of cleavage but I'm not gonna cover up for men. I'm also not gonna clutch my pearls if a man tells me something (unlikely, given my age). I'd just turn it down. And l definitely don't record in the gym. I only carry my phone to listen to my podcasts or check my reps
Load More Replies...Let me say first I am a gay man and have zero interest in the female form erotically. Recently it has become a bit of a pet peeve that so very many women in so very many different environments chose to dress to display a lot of the skin of their secondary sexual attributes i.e. breasts. Of course it causes people to notice and look. If these women claim they don't know that this is going to be the result, they are completely clueless of reality. I like to ask if they would. feel fine about men wearing clothing and exposed a great deal. of the skin of their testicle sack. You know, like the women do with their breasts. Maybe 50% of it. 70%. Maybe more. Would that be OK ladies? Would you promise that you wouldn't look because that would be sexual abuse of men, wouldn't it?
I'd be okay with men showing the whole package. Once you've seen one, you've seen them all. Interestingly enough, a lot of men react to boobs as if they hadn't seen a pair before. Not defending the influencer here tho. This was a staged humble brag/ rage baits for likes and clout
Load More Replies...It is not appropriate to make personal comments to anyone you do not know well. A woman's clothing is not an excuse.
Got to agree here. I do think this woman was looking for drama, undoubtedly, but I also don't think old men should be complimenting young women's bodies and vice versa - especially when you're strangers.
Load More Replies..."Hey CK you look good! " You have now become my property according to you right? F*****g insane...
Load More Replies...
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