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Woman Refuses To Downplay Her Boundary And Leaves MIL In A Parking Lot, Asks If She Was Wrong
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Woman Refuses To Downplay Her Boundary And Leaves MIL In A Parking Lot, Asks If She Was Wrong

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Boundaries are necessary for any healthy relationship, but they can be pretty hard to put up when it comes to family. After all, our own kin tends to feel a certain entitlement and connection to us, that, often, come with a confusing insistence at overlooking barriers you try to set up.

A woman asked the internet for advice after an argument with her MIL that culminated with OP ditching her in a parking lot. Despite communicating a personal rule that she doesn’t want to be around her, the MIL demanded to be driven home and threw a fit when OP said no. The woman later posted a pretty significant update.

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    Conflicts between people and their in-laws are unfortunately common

    Image credits:LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

    But one woman wondered if she was wrong for ditching her ride-less MIL in a parking lot after she made some snide comments

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    Image credits:sloomstudio (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits:aitathrowaway265

    MIL issues are as old as the idea of marriage itself

    For many people, the three little letters, MIL, are enough to make them roll their eyes. It’s already a cliche that the mother of your spouse tends to have expectations that you will not meet and a pretty strong desire to communicate her disappointment either directly or indirectly, through a massive campaign of passive aggression.

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    Case in point, OP, who even had to set a pretty strict no-contact boundary. Unfortunately for her, she still lives near her MIL, which can complicate things when it comes to childcare. It’s worth noting that MIL jokes date back to ancient Rome and most likely were around even before that. While it’s not direct evidence, it is one indicator that this sort of family drama dates back to the ancient world.

    Unfortunately, the very nature of the in-law relationship means that there will be some degree of mistrust and jealousy involved. Both parties, the spouse and the parent, might end up feeling like they are competing for attention with the person in the middle. However, as this story demonstrates, sometimes your partner doesn’t even understand that their parent really needs to back off.

    Image credits:Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)

    Family dynamics are complicated when it’s not technically your family

    It doesn’t always have to be bad, however. Some studies indicate that healthy communication can contribute to what sociologists call a found family. This is particularly true if a person isn’t close with their biological parents. After all, some families are better off left behind. However, this is irrelevant in this particular case, since OP has made it quite clear that she wants nothing to do with this woman. And who can blame her, a nagging MIL is a pretty significant thorn in one’s side.

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    After all, a MIL isn’t some random stranger who can be completely rejected and cut out of one’s life. Even if you are avoiding her, there is a chance that your spouse doesn’t feel the same way, which is pretty visible in this story. Many of the comments centered on advice for OP, as some netizens thought her entire situation toxic.

    It’s worth noting that many readers also thought that OP didn’t exactly do the right thing either. Giving the MIL a ride would realistically only take a handful of minutes and, truth be told, give OP a bit of the moral high ground. If she can walk back in 15 minutes, then the car ride should be done in under five.

    Image credits:Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

    There are a few unknowns in this story

    However, we were not there and we don’t know the entire context. After all, this citation may have simply been the straw that broke the camel’s back. The fact that OP feels like her husband (who is the child’s biological father, as confirmed in the comments) doesn’t have her back might indicate that she simply doesn’t have the support system to “do the right thing.”

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    If you are the kind of person who craves an update, then thank your lucky stars, as OP did, a year later, share what happened next with the internet. That post can be found below. In the comments, which are also below, people debated and disagreed on who really did the right thing in this situation. So feel free to add your thoughts to the comments section.

    People wanted to know if her husband is the father of the child

    Most folks thought everyone could have handled the situation better

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    But some saw OP’s point

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    While other’s thought he was just being rude

    A year later, OP shared a pretty significant update

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Read less »
    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

    Read less »

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

    What do you think ?
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    JuniorCJ82
    Community Member
    10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Disobeying" him?!?! Bahahahahahahahaha... no. Glad she got rid of those toxic weirdos.

    Kate
    Community Member
    10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, that update at the end was great! So glad she got herself and her daughter out of that!

    Kari Panda
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. I would vote ESH simply for the daughter. Imagine being a little kid and seeing your grandma waiting for you after school. You’re happy, but then your mommy whom you also love arrives and has a big argument with grandma. Not to mention that, sadly, it might very well lead to mean comments from class mates. I am fully on the mom‘s side regarding her relationship and boundaries with her MIL, but you try to keep children out of this. Biggest AH is the husband though, don’t get me wrong.

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    JuniorCJ82
    Community Member
    10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Disobeying" him?!?! Bahahahahahahahaha... no. Glad she got rid of those toxic weirdos.

    Kate
    Community Member
    10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, that update at the end was great! So glad she got herself and her daughter out of that!

    Kari Panda
    Community Member
    10 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. I would vote ESH simply for the daughter. Imagine being a little kid and seeing your grandma waiting for you after school. You’re happy, but then your mommy whom you also love arrives and has a big argument with grandma. Not to mention that, sadly, it might very well lead to mean comments from class mates. I am fully on the mom‘s side regarding her relationship and boundaries with her MIL, but you try to keep children out of this. Biggest AH is the husband though, don’t get me wrong.

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