Witches (or rather the pop culture-generated image of them) are a ripe medium for some undeniably funny puns. The creepy cackling, the wart-ridden facial protrusions, the haute couture gowns, and, presumably, a smell of all that’s rotten just begs for some silly puns! If you agree with that, you’ve come to the exact right place at the exact right moment, for this is our list dedicated solely to witch puns. And not just some witch and witchcraft puns - the very best ones.
Now, what should you expect from these funny witch puns, you ask? Well, for starters, totally toads. Can you even imagine a witch without one lurking around? We sure can’t! Then there are the black cats, the fuming cauldrons, and green faces. This last one, though, stumps us each time. Why on Earth are witches’ faces green? Are they constantly wearing some algae mask, or maybe they are, in fact, fluorescent? If you have your own theory on that, do share it in the comments, please. But let’s go back to wordplays for now.
So, use these witch puns for Halloween or read them at your own leisure, but remember - reading them three times out loud might cast a spell or something. That is, proceed with caution, or you might find yourself cackling until you turn green! Another thing to be sure of is to give these cute puns your vote and share this article with your friends.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
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How do you make a witch scratch?
By taking away the 'w'.
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What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
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Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
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The problem with twin witches is that you never know witch is which.
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How did the witch tell her friends that she was pregnant?
She told them she had a bun in the coven.
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What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
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What is a witch's favorite TV show?
Game of crones.
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A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
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Hey witches, it’s time to trick or treat yo’self.
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What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
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What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
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What did the witch say to her victim while she was waiting?
Bewitcha in a minute!
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Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
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What does the little witch use to bake her birthday cake?
The easy bake coven.
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How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
"Voodoo like to ride with me."
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What did one broomstick say to the other?
"Did you hear the new dirt?"
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Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
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What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
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The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
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A witch tells the time by looking at her witch watch.
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The witch lost her way because her hat was pointed in the wrong direction.
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Who was the most famous witch detective?
Warlock Holmes.
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I’d say “witch me luck”, but I don’t need any if these are the witches in my squad.
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Spells like teen spirit.
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Tastes as good as it spells.
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What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
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What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
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What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
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What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
"Witch way to the Halloween party?"
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Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
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Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
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Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
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Why was the illiterate witch kicked out of her coven?
It was because she couldn't spell.
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Why was the broom late?
It over swept.
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What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
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Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
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Why don't wizards make their witches mad?
They'll give them a cold spell.
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Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
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Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
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People are scared of witches because of their resting witch face.
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Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
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This is how you party when you're witch and famous.
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Wanna hop on?
I've got a broom with a view.
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Who made the yellow slick road slippery?
The wizard of ooze.
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- Who's there?
- Witch!
- Witch who?
- Witch one of you will give me my Halloween candy?
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I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
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Check out my super o-witch-inal costume.
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Always wand-ering around.
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Why did the warlock had so much trouble with math?
He never knew WITCH equation to use.
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What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray.
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Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
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What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
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What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
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What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
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Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
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How do witches play loud music?
On their broom boxes.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
It's time to go sweep.
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How do you find out if a witch is carrying a bomb?
You hear her brooms tick.
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Why did the witch put her broomstick inside the washing machine?
She wanted a clean sweep.
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Witches love to go to the mountains because they love witch-hiking.
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Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
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Witches can smell brew from far away because they have a very keen sense of spell.
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Happy Halloween, witches!
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So thankful that all these witches have coven-to my life.
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You’re the one that I wand!
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You know it’s true – everything I brew, I brew it for you.
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Why was the witch so excited to decorate her cauldron?
Her favorite hobby is witch craft.
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What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
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What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
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Have you heard about the good weather witch?
She's only anticipating sunny spells.
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Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
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What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
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What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
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What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
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Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
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What do you call a witch who keeps crashing her brooms?
A wreckless hag.
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Why are black cats very good singers?
They're mewsical.
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What dessert did the witch give her cat?
Mice-cream.
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Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
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Witches don't fart. They cast smells.
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Cats prefer wizards to witches because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them.
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Witches buy pencil sharpeners to keep their hats pointed.
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Witches love to travel because they're filled with wand-erlusts.
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Witches always come first at spelling bee contests.
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Come witch me to the party.
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Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy?
It was the wicked witch of rest.
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- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Witch.
- Witch who?
- Witch way to go home?
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- Knock Knock!
- Who's there?
- Witch.
- Witch who?
- Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?
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You know what they say, payback’s a witch.
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Time to spell the beans, I guess!
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Let me make you an offer you chant refuse.
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You’re brewing my head in!
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Do you wand the good news or the bad news?
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What noise do witches' cereals make?
Snap, cackle, and pop.
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What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
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Where does the witch's frog sit?
On a toadstool.
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How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
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What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
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Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
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A witch laughing her head off will go 'cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk'.
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You've got me under your spell.
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Flipping the s-witch this Halloween.
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Life’s a witch… and so am I!
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I’m a big fan of occultural experiences.
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Brewty is in the eye of the beholder.
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Let nature take its curse.
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