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Jerry-And-Tom , Philipp Katzenberger Report

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From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs The unfathomable amount of CP that I have come across both professionally and independently repairing computers is breathtaking. From Mother to Grandfathers, cops to mechanics, youngsters to old folks.
It's pervasive and f*****g disturbs me.
I have an in with one of the local PDs and drop a note each dime every time. No passes here. If I find it on your machine, so do the locals and the stateies.

Final score:

213points

POST

Strings 5 months ago

Recall hearing about a thief who stole some guy's laptop (burglary). Opened it, found child porn, and turned himself in along with the computer, thereby getting the owner of said laptop

174points

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs My husband does not work in IT but he should. He worked on a facilities team at an expensive private school, and one day got a ticket to remove/trash a 75 inch TV. He approached the ***head of the IT department*** asking why he needed to trash it when he had just installed it brand new. The ***head of IT*** told him it won't stop shutting off. My husband loaded it into the work van and dropped it at our house instead. Later he came home, plugged it in...

and turned off the 10 min automatic power off timer. We got a fancy TV for free!

HuuffingLavender , unsplash.com Report

Final score:

206points

POST

Floeckchen 5 months ago (edited)

Even if it is defect wouldn't it still be covered by warranty?

86points

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Had a customer come in with his laptop and a bag of keyboard keys. He said he was working on his computer and received a phone call and stepped out of his home office. His cat found out how much fun it was to pop off the keys on his laptop, one by one and almost every single one.

OptionRecent , www.pexels.com Report

Final score:

206points

POST

Mike F 5 months ago

Hahaha, hahaha. Catnip?

53points

Bettye McKee 5 months ago

No, just a cat doing cat things.

5points

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 5 months ago

We happen to enjoy toys just as much as soft can-openers do. It's just that you all are lazy. How can you properly pounce or bat a key if it's attached? How you all soft can-openers have fun just pushing them down, we'll never understand. If we take the keys off the keyboard, then there's actually some challenge to the game. *bats the A under the sofa* See? Much more fun.

23points

Sinnsyk Jakte 5 months ago

Scrabble, Unattended Cat Edition.

15points

Ovata Acronicta 5 months ago

Hey, that's not a bad bit of work at least! Gotta appreciate the worst thing being "the cat took the keys off" and not like "here's my toasty-roach machine"

13points

Debra Robinson 5 months ago

Eeeew

1point

Brian Hawley 5 months ago

Hope you swapped a few around at random when you put them back

7points

Libstak 5 months ago

Just look up the make and model key board on your phone and reattach..I mean the letters and numbers on every keyboard are the same and function keys are in numerical order, so it's just the side bars really,

6points

David 5 months ago

Also, even if you don't touch type -- open up notepad - press a button - see what character appears on the screen. A few keys won't be as obvious but most of them will.

7points

Scott Rackley 5 months ago

bubble wrap for cats

5points

Bored something 5 months ago

Cat wanted in on the call too.

4points

Maartje 5 months ago

Don't leave your keyboard unattended when you have birds either..

2points

Seanette Blaylock 5 months ago

Good point. The feathers and, ahem, "exhaust" do not do keyboards any good.

0points

Joe Reaves 5 months ago

Cat can figure out how to pop them off. Human can't figure out how to put them back on without IT support. I see where the brains are in that household.

2points

Trophy Husband 5 months ago

I've put those back on, it can by tricky, you need good eyesight and tweezers!

1point

Id row 5 months ago

lol, my cat did this, but it was because he patched out on the keyboard.

1point

the_avenging_knight (her/she) 5 months ago

Yeah, that's cats for ya. Mine would probably do something like that.

1point

Sarah Laurent 5 months ago

My late beloved Tchenko did that and ruined an amazing -and expensive !- keyboard

1point

somnomania (she/her, queer) 4 months ago

this i completely understand, the stupid plastic hinges under laptop keys are the absolute worst, i find it impossible to get the keys to go back in place. i have one on my current laptop that i had to scavenge from an older laptop because my dog hit it just right and the keycap flew off into the void, and another one where i used a dot of superglue to just stick the keycap to the little nubbin underneath because i couldn't get it to reattach to the stupid hinge. and god knows i can't properly clean out under the keys, i'd never get them all back on.

0points

Teresa Spanics 4 months ago

AWW 😻💖

0points

Seanette Blaylock 5 months ago

Smart little furry brat. I don't think either of my two would work that one out, and I'm fine with that. Neither is exactly a fuzzy Einstein, but I love them anyway, and they do find ways of their own to drive me up the wall. :)

0points

Raquel Mencke 5 months ago

Well done furry overlord. Great job of keeping all attention on you.

0points

GlitterPanda 5 months ago

I had a cat who loved to do this!

0points

Jonathan 5 months ago

My cat did this... was a nightmare putting those stupid keys back on

0points

Albert 5 months ago

Yep, happened to me. After at least 5 years I still haven't found the letter 'P' of my old laptop

0points

pineapple87 5 months ago

Oh god, my dog would totally do this if she was able to get onto the table

0points

Never Snarky 5 months ago

They snap right back on.

0points

Charlene Wilbur 5 months ago

My oldest son did this to my laptop when he was probably 2 years old. I had just bought the laptop and was very very poor at the time. I was so upset. I thought I was going to have to pay for a new one or repairs. Luckily I had bought the warranty and it covered fixing it but I didn't have my laptop for weeks.

0points

Herkfixer 5 months ago

Suuuurrrreee.. blame the cat...

0points

Hey! 5 months ago

This is a kind of puzzle I would have loved to do myself. Once you know what kind of keyboard your country has (Querty, Azerty, ...), start with that. Many of the other keys, you know by heart anyways.

0points

Patricia Steward 5 months ago

Nah, it was his kid, he just doesn't want to admit it.

0points

Seanette Blaylock 5 months ago

Does seem like that would be a very difficult task if one did not have opposable thumbs.

0points

digitalin 5 months ago

When I was in college, I rearranged all the keys on my keyboard. I never looked at them to type, but anyone new using my computer always got confused.

0points

Doofnuts 5 months ago

Not Catnip, just Cat!

0points

trollingergirl 5 months ago

I read about clever cats, I upvote! I am still laughing.

0points

Marla Singer 5 months ago

But really, you just pop them the f**k back on.

0points

Deborah B 5 months ago

Usually it's a parrot, but I can see a cat doing it.

0points

Bree Piper 5 months ago

This irritates me no end. It would have taken only a few minutes to pop them all back on. Don't know which it is? Press the bubble and see what appears on the screen? Gawds, people are lazy.

0points

Paula G 5 months ago

This happened to me! Not all keys but about 30% of them. My BF had wiped a laptop and cleaned it up overnight to give to a friend the next morning. She arrived for computer and we discovered what I thought was a half arsed job he had started and not finished in cleaning the keys and got him up out of bed furious. Wasn’t him. Was a not so guilty looking feline! Apologies were made!

0points

Sven Horlemann 5 months ago

...and then too stupid to click them in?

0points

Beth Wheeler 5 months ago

OMG. Hahahaha. Baaaaaad kitty

0points

Lunar Stormwing 5 months ago

Don't have a home office, but my cat did this to my laptop. The repair place ended up using parts from at least two other broken machines to fix my keyboard, because several keys were missing!

0points

Ash 5 months ago

I literally was talking to my friend the other day who just started working from home while living with cats, and she said, "I've started taking my keyboard into the bathroom with me."

0points

BoredPossum 5 months ago

That's a strong cat.

0points

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Received a call from the FBI Cyber Crime division. Said be at a conference room at one of my healthcare clients in an hour. Got my team together and showed up.

Was informed that a large medical practice that used our software had been infiltrated by a hacker that had posted a video of himself on some kind of dark site walking around their large office (500,000 square feet) and bragging about his expertise and claiming to own our network. They played us the video. He was employed there as the night security guard. We quickly saw that he did not gain access to our net.

They informed us that he had given his notice and his last day would be Thursday. He has posted a bunch of threats to the dark site about what would happen that next holiday weekend, after he was gone.

It did turn out that he had gained access to the network of the surgery center in the same building. And he has used that access to remotely disable the HVAC system for hours at a time during surgical procedures.

On his last day, the FBI rolled up at night. Waited for the older security guard to leave the building to patrol the parking garage. Then knocked out all power and lights to the big building, lock all the doors, pulled up in about eight black vans, about 30 guys with submachine guns jump out, sweep the building, arrest him and quickly leave.

We were counseled to shut down the network for a week, in case he had planted time bombs to be triggered near the 4th of July. We did.

Turns out he had a young wife and two kids. Was offered a plea deal for three years in prison. Decided to go to trial. I was a witness.

He was sentenced to 11 years.

A twist. The pastor at his church testified as a character witness. Said he had never had an issue with him. Turns out the FBI had hacked the Church computers with a warrant and found that he had been fired as the IT guy at the church. Pastor was charged with perjury and sentenced to prison too.

DakPara , www.flickr.com Report

Final score:

171points

POST

Upstaged75 5 months ago

I'm literally watching CSI Cyber at this moment. Seems like this could have been an episode of the show! :)

45points

Rambos_Magnum_Dong , unsplash.com Report

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs An outgoing software dev put an easter egg in our ERP before he left.

Anyone who typed the word "RAPTOR" in any text field, would have a Raptor from Jurassic Park fly across their screen with a loud screech. Only 3 of us on the team knew about it.

Little over a year later during a demo of our Asset Management module a manager asked about inputting vehicles, the trainer asked what kind of vehicle he drove, "An F150 Raptor". So the trainer, as a demo, input the vehicle description and BAM!

**"RAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRR!!!!!!!"** comes screeching with this Raptor flying across the screen in a room of 50-60 people, including our CBO, and most of our upper managers. My wife is one of those upper managers so she sees me in the back of the room trying so hard not to laugh. She gave me this look like "really?"

Our boss just calmly said "Well, that's not a bug or a feature. Looks like we'll need to fix that." He had no idea.

The next day he went back through the commits and saw where it originated. During an after action meeting he kept it low key and just assigned it to me and this other dev who knew about it to take it out. He finished by saying "And please don't put easter eggs in our code.".

Final score:

155points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

Is there an Easter egg in BP if you type a certain comment?

61points

sandman4you_9inches , unsplash.com Report

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs I did IT in the mid 90s. I had a small vacuum cleaner I used to clean out dusty cases. One day one of the people I supported came into my office and asked if he could borrow it to clean out his home PC. I said sure and gave it to him. He then continued to stand there working up the courage to ask me something else. Noticing his dilemma I asked if there was anything else I could help him with. He, with a completely serious face, asked if the vacuum cleaner was going to suck the data off his hard drive. Now I, up to that point in my career, had never laughed out loud at a user but I couldn't contain it. The relief on his face was priceless when I reassured him his data was fine.

Final score:

144points

POST

Mike F 5 months ago

Just turn the dial to ignore the 0's and 1's before you turn it on, it'll be fine then.

44points

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs On my way to a client site, the client called and asked me to pick up a pizza.

Me: "You are charged by the hour, you know that right?"

Client: "Yep"

Me: "What kind of pizza do you want?".

gummby8 , Armin Rimoldi Report

Final score:

140points

POST

Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago

Some people are so rich they really don't care.

74points

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs IT for medical professionals. Big institution. Doctor brings in a dead laptop, they killed it by spillin' something on it, they were stupid and didn't backup any data so my task was to pull the drive and recover their files.

Open up the laptop and learn it's full of body lice. Full. So I double-bag the laptop, call Facilities to report an infestation. My shop gets tented and fumigated, their lab gets the same treatment. Meanwhile I leave work, drive to Walgreens, get a couple home de-lousing kits, drive home, strip down in the backyard and de-louse myself. May have been paranoia but I ended up tossing my clothes & the backpack I used to carry to work; I even tented my car for 3 days (that was fun) to k*ll any bugs that may have hitched a ride. De-loused myself and my dog, too, just to be safe, and cleaned my whole house like I was expectin' the queen for dinner. I wasn't taking any chances with bugs that a) make a livin' by suckin' blood, and b) were somehow survivin' in a medical lab that had God-knows-what goin' on in it.

CMDR_Tauri , www.flickr.com Report

Final score:

137points

POST

Upstaged75 5 months ago

Gross!

48points

#10

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Not wild, but ridiculous: I drove 40 minutes away to look at a client's computer, who said the PC was not responsive. When I arrived, he said "Look" and pressed a key on the number pad. Nothing happened. I pressed Num Lock and drove 40 minutes back.

A week later, the same customer said his computer was miscalculating formula amounts, so I drove there again. He says, "Look...I type in that I want a pint, and it prints out a formula for sixteen ounces." After giving him an elementary math lesson, I drove 40 minutes back again and requested that he have his computer taken away.

zenleper Report

Final score:

136points

POST

T'Mar of Vulcan 5 months ago

When I was in charge of our school's computer centre, one computer had a problem in that there was no sound. Called the support people (a husband and wife who charged ridiculous amounts and always spoke to me like I was a moron so I didn't like them) and gave the man the rundown of a few problems we had with different computers. At the end I was like, "And this one's sound doesn't work!" Yep. He went to the bottom and clicked the sound icon. A child had turned it off. That was one day I really did feel like a complete ning-nong.

53points

Temba-his_arms_wide Report

#11

I work with a lot of engineers, like literal rocket scientists. The number of really intelligent people who don't know what simple things like "can you minimize that window" or "let me see your desktop" are is simply mind blowing. I am thankful everyday that Teams added the ability to take control of someone's cursor.

I feel like the more advanced a person's specialized knowledge becomes, the more rapidly their general knowledge declines. Some kind of weird inverse correlation.

Final score:

133points

POST

Mike F 5 months ago

Ya gotta make room for the new stuff by getting rid of the old stuff, lol.

58points

#12

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Big company, couple of hundred users, each with their own network drive (hotdesking scenario, so they could get their docs, no matter where they sat in the call centre/rest of building). The server that housed the "home drives" as we called them, was running low on disk space, so we sent out emails to everyone saying the shared drives were for work docs only, and that we could see images, mp3s, mov files, etc, and that these should be deleted if not work-related.

Fast forward a few weeks and the disk usage has gone down, but still really close to full, so the lowest paid member of staff, me, was to find the worst culprits and report back on what the largest content in their drive was.

The very first person I checked had a huge drive (most under 500MB, this was 10s GBs). Sorted by size, 2GB+ .mov file, named totally randomly with numbers, like 93829084320834 - Opened it, CP. FML. The subsequent police-led s**tshow was not what I needed to be involved in at 19 years old.

Grepus , unsplash.com Report

Final score:

124points

POST

Upstaged75 5 months ago

Child pornography is what was in the file if you're confused.

85points

#13

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Got called to investigate/unplug a laptop that had viruses detected on it. When I arrived, this laptop was in the open with the login information taped to the desk. This laptop was given local admin privileges by someone before my time for some application. This was in an office area that was always unlocked and 10 steps from the entrance of the building. No one was in the office as they went home early, including management.

On a laptop filled with everyone's information (SSN, names, addresses, and more), Limewire, games, p**nography, and more. The two who worked on this laptop just used it like their personal laptop with occasional work being done on it.

The laptop was promptly disconnected from the network, confiscated, and returned for analysis. Yes, there was spyware and we don't know how much personal info got out. This was reported to higher management. The two who used it disappeared quickly and quietly after that.

gac64k56 , unsplash.com Report

Final score:

113points

POST

Ash 5 months ago

I like the term "disappeared" in the last sentence. Makes them sound like they were quietly assassinated.

70points

#14

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs My colleague got a call from a customer who was a Pastor as he needed help with his computer. It was a weekend, and my colleague knew his machine name so he remotely logged onto it as he in parallel started calling him. Screen loads, and it’s playing lesbian p**n, on his work computer, in the church. Needless to say it was awkward as the pastor answered the call a few seconds later.

mydickinabox , www.flickr.com Report

Final score:

97points

POST

lwolf1952 5 months ago

Sounds par for the course. It's okay, not many verses in the Bible about watching P0rnhub.

46points

#15

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Drive to an office for emergency oncall service charging the client $400+ dollars an hour to plug the power back into a switch which their cleaning staff had knocked loose.

t0getheralone , unsplash.com Report

Final score:

96points

POST

Marie Guan 5 months ago

Free money?

24points

#16

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Someone recently called my helpdesk requesting that we clear the roads so she could get to work.

"The sky is falling and waters in the way"

Meaning
"It's raining really hard and the streets are flooded"

As the IT helpdesk, of course there's nothing we can do about that.

dragonrage12343 , unsplash.com Report

Final score:

94points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

Did you ask if she tried turning it off and on again?

111points

#17

Got paid my on-site visit minimum of $375 to plug in a phone cord to a fax machine. The young front office person did no know what a landline was.

altgamerbob Report

Final score:

93points

POST

"Disembodied voice" 5 months ago

I've had to do things like this a lot. Please check your cords.

19points

#18

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Other workers screen shot her windows screen, made it her background then moved her task bar off screen. She kept clicking start but nothing would happen.

YetiCincinnati , unsplash.com Report

Final score:

87points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

We used to do that prank on newbies in our office.

33points

#19

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Take literal magnets off of the laptop so that it would work again.

laddsta , www.pexels.com Report

Final score:

85points

POST

michael Chock 5 months ago

Spin a magnet to make electricity. Spin electricity to make a magnet. Unless you are an electrical engineer, don't put magnets on your electronics.

38points

#20

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Lady from the office downstairs borrowed my bosses keyboard whilst waiting for a replacement.

When hers arrived she washed the borrowed one in the kitchen sink and left it on the draining board to dry out.

MrBenzedrine , unsplash.com Report

Final score:

85points

POST

B Hobbs 5 months ago (edited)

The keyboards that are common today, a quick wash may not cause a problem. If I learned of this, I would disassemble the keyboard, separate the membranes, soak everything in distilled water, air dry, reassemble, might take an hour. Back around 1978 or so, an operator spilled a soda in a keyboard, lots of micro switches to clean with trichloroethylene, a few days of work. The operator had to help because they were not supposed to have soda in the mission area.

30points

#21

Emergency flight from CA to GA because they were getting alarms on their new system, flew out at like 4am, got onsite at 9am, told to come back at 9pm. got a hotel, slept, came back onsite 9pm.

Customer stated that someone used a cable from the PDU to log into system but plugged it in wrong when done. But they were no longer getting alerts.

I looked at it, it was correctly cabled, apparently someone had noticed and put it back correctly.
Left site and flew back home.

23 hour day just to LOOK at a cable label... they probably got charged like $10k to have me go onsite if not more...

Henry__Every Report

Final score:

85points

POST

kitten levels tokyo 5 months ago

I feel like “Cat Sitter” is a more enjoyable but less lucrative job than “IT Person”.

45points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#22

I had repaired a printer at the big insurance company. On the bill I wrote "mouse removal - NC". The client questioned my comment - "printers don't have mice"! I responded "they're not supposed to. The furry little guy is in the plastic bag next to the printer.". Eeewww.

CtForrestEye Report

Final score:

85points

POST

"Disembodied voice" 5 months ago

My biggest enemy at work is the printers, it's always an issue with the printer

33points

#23

IT problems are human errors and it's usually because something is powered off.

200 dollars to drive 5 miles just to hit the power button is more common than you think,.

WYGD_Brother1987 Report

Final score:

80points

POST

kitten levels tokyo 5 months ago

Maybe I should get into IT.

30points

#24

Very early in my career, back when I was still working an entry level job, I had called in sick with stomach flu. I was throwing up every hour to hour and a half, had been all day. I got called by my boss and told it was an emergency, that her computer wasn't working, and she had something she needed done in an hour so I needed to come in and fix it, sick or not.

So, in between bouts of puking, I drove across town and plugged the power cord for her monitor back in. Not even the end in the monitor itself, the end in the wall. She hadn't even taken 2 seconds to make sure it was plugged in before she dragged me in with stomach flu to fix it for her.

kazarbreak Report

Final score:

79points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

Kinda hope she caught the flu off you for being so dumb.

84points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#25

I was a solo IT department for many years.
Had to run manual backups on sales people laptops.
I run into a huge folder, check if it needs to be backed up.
Turns out it was a s**t ton of pics/videos of the married sales guy and the young receptionist getting it on at a company event (the company used to get us all hotel rooms).
I sat the guy down and said I found some s**t that shouldn’t be on company property. He turned white as a ghost. I said it’s all good if he deletes it/doesn’t do that again. So I never told anyone about it.
I would’ve found a way to tell the wife if I hadn’t run into screenshots of their texts—the wife had recently found out about the affair. It was really messy, kids involved.

loztriforce Report

Final score:

75points

POST

La Lucy 5 months ago

FAFO

23points

#26

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs I had to remotely install a spyware program on a VP/CFO's laptop because loss prevention was trying to gather information on him. The software recorded keystrokes, program usage, web history AND videos of what he was doing on the laptop.

He resigned the next day after they found that he had a girlfriend in one of the company's manufacturing plants in China. The guy lost a million dollar job for that. Probably lost his wife and home too.

edmanet , unsplash.com Report

Final score:

72points

POST

Upstaged75 5 months ago

And yet I don't feel bad for him at all! FAFO.

46points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#27

Working with the Judicial system, it wasn't uncommon to see photo / video evidence of child abuse or neglect. People do some really f****d up things to kids.

TurkTurkeltonMD Report

Final score:

68points

POST

whineygingercat 5 months ago

I worked in a photo dept at a pharmacy once. Had to check customer orders for that exact same thing. Police ALWAYS called. If only there was such a thing as an 'un-see button'

50points

#28

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs This wasnt at work but at a lan party. Had a guy in a CS 1.6 tourney had a system was constantly overheating and locking up. Opened it up to find it caked with dust. A few people split the job of cleaning it and I was given the cpu heatsink. I didnt have my tools and all I had was some plastic untinsels and with what was in the bathroom. The sink was too small to get the heatsink under it and the knife was not getting it off. So I just stuck the heatsink in the (relativly clean) toilet. All of the caked dust and gunk came off. I was able to shake it off, put it under the air dryer, apply some thermal compound on it and put it back in the machine. The other guys got the rest of the system cleaned up.

I didnt tell him I flushed his heatsink in the toilet.

goodBEan , www.pexels.com Report

Final score:

67points

POST

David 5 months ago

Some PCs look like the inside of vacuum cleaner bags. Had a PC shipped in by a customer and it was one they used out at the shop or parts counter and had been sucking in dust for ages. The inside was so gross you could barely see the components. I ended up taking out to the alley behind our building so I could blow it out there. There was WAY too much dust to blow out inside the building. To their credit, I think they built a filtered box with a fan air supply that the PC sat in after that so all the air going to the PC had already been filtered once.

30points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#29

Got paged one night because of a data outage. Turns out one of our on-call response folks went into the server room, locked themselves in, and unplugged several machines. This caused several data outages, which caused a page and thus someone driving in to resolve it. This was a major military mission critical system and this guy thought the best way to get someone’s attention was to break a bunch of stuff.

Illustrious-Ruin2099 Report

Final score:

64points

POST

Upstaged75 5 months ago

Sounds like it worked......

43points

#30

I just flicked a defective screen back to life not 2 minutes ago. Like a small laptop screen that just would'nt turn on even after taking it out and putting it back in. Then I get uppity and flick it and boom...

Actual craziest was a fired employee who was wildly underperforming coming to give back her laptop. I booted it up and she had a contract and payslips from the other company she was working for with our stuff. She was dumb as a rock and HR tore through her case...

Sylar299 Report

Final score:

60points

POST

Tabitha 5 months ago

Like a well-placed kick to get the washing machine to start, or hitting the side of an old TV set to get the reception or sound to straighten out.

16points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#31

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Walked all the way across campus in the Florida heat just to tell a PhD professor that the reason their monitor kept turning off every few seconds was because the computer was in fact turned off. Then got yelled at for her classroom not being ready for her when she came in.

Also was told to "make sure these projectors aren't in the building by the end of day. Don't care where they go, just that they aren't here tomorrow" by my boss. It was more expensive to buy new bulbs for them than to just buy new ones so that's how I ended up with 5 projectors that lasted years.

ouchmypeeburns , www.flickr.com Report

Final score:

56points

POST

Mike F 5 months ago

Gotta love wanton waste.

30points

#32

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Back when I worked as a help desk tech at a government facility- I was sent on a call to put in new desktop for the office manager as she hated laptops.

I set an appt time up in outlook for her, block out an hour off her schedule and swing up there.

There she is, a very large elderly office manager sitting in her desk. There under her desk is the tower I was to replace.

I introduce myself. She backs her chair up about a foot and says "OK, have at it." and powers off her system.

I stand there looking at the one foot of space between her lap and the spot under her desk. "I am going to have to ask you to slide your chair back as I need to remove and replace the tower." I state.

She skootches maybe another foot back and blankly stairs at me.

So, I hold my breath and go down under her desk. Thats when I notice the 10-12 filled pee bottles under her desk. Yes. Pee in old Gatorade bottles just tucked away under her desk.

I ripped the tower out and said "I will be back ASAP I need to clone your hard drive." and GTFO.

I sent my intern to go install the new one.

KidBeene , unsplash.com Report

Final score:

51points

POST

Upstaged75 5 months ago

Ew!! I hope they reported her to HR or something. That's disgusting.

56points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#33

As a consultant software dev, I got called into a client office on a Saturday to help fix a hardware issue because the regular IT staff was non-responsive (they sucked).

We were changing a bad memory card on a server, and my boss asks me to unplug the top box. I was averaging about 90hrs a week so I was f*****g cooked, and I unplugged the wrong machine.

This was a travel agency call center doing $1M/day and this machine was in the call center server stack. We freaked out of course, and my boss walked out onto the call center floor, quietly asking if everything was running ok LOL.

Luckily it was a benign marketing server and everything was ok. Lesson learned, don't let the software dev in the server room.

crankbot2000 Report

Final score:

47points

POST

kitten levels tokyo 5 months ago

Goodness gracious, keep the software dev out of the building!

15points

#34

Had to spec out a state of the art, no limit small computer for the CEO. I give two options, one best in market skull logo on the front. The other not as good and no skull logo. I submit to my boss and he says CEO will probably never go for the skull one as it's unprofessional. I look up a plate to cover and add that in.

Like a $10k computer alone, 5k monitor.

CEO went for skull icon one without plate cause it was best in market and skull looked cool.

My boss wasn't happy to be wrong.

crazykid01 Report

Final score:

47points

POST

kitten levels tokyo 5 months ago

This one was a real roller coaster!

25points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#35

I walked into the office one morning to my CEO asking me to follow him to his office. He pulled out a stack of paper, almost a full ream, of printed p**n from our network printer and asked me to find out who sent it.

Back then, most of our office staff had their own desk printers. I assumed that this person had worked late and meant to print out these pics on his local printer. Our CEO only used the network printer near his office and gets to work well before everyone else. Obviously, dude was fired.

evolve77 Report

Final score:

44points

POST

MurderMittens 5 months ago

Maybe i'm missing something. Why would he ask you to find who sent it if he was the guilty one?

11points

#36

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Not me but a colleague had to sing a lullaby to a user because she said she needed to be calmed down. (had to might be the wrong word, but he did do it).

She was insanely unstable when it came to service workers. She was the head economist at the specific company handling a lot of money. So she was basically babied no matter how many times we complained to her boss.

She would call in screaming refusing to let us do anything while expecting us to fix her problems telepathically. She had non issues every day, so we basically existed so she could torture us.

trast , www.pexels.com Report

Final score:

42points

POST

Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 5 months ago

How was she in a job?

29points

#37

We had an after-hours call to the hospital we work at because our new unit secretary in the ER couldn't find the remote to the TV they have that show where patients are located.

It's also an application that's loaded onto every computer in the nurse station. She was fired a few days ago after trying to throw us under the bus for her f**k up.

wolfej4 Report

Final score:

42points

POST

Pheebs 5 months ago

This could be stupidity, or it could be training. Never assume someone knows. Mind you, it’s never a good idea to f**k over IT.

23points

#38

Hiding a "k*ll switch" in the code of a web application we had because my boss thought the customer would try to steal our code. Just to add, my boss never used the switch, but they did stole our code, I already left the company, but as far as I know there's a lawsuit going on, I remember having to help my boss gather proof of it to share with the lawyers.

Due-Aioli-6641 Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Nauman 5 months ago

Why didn't he just use the kill switch?

24points

#39

From Funny To Horrifying, 40 IT Professionals Share Their Wildest Jobs Explain to the Chief Technology Officer that having the prod server and its backup server sat next to each other, may well save cost on not having two data centers, but when that data center (also known as the stationary cupboard…) goes, it’s not such a money saving idea….

Who_am_i_0468 , www.pexels.com Report

Final score:

38points

POST

La Lucy 5 months ago (edited)

Worked with a hospital system that did this. Their data center was in the basement with prod, test and back up all housed there. Located in Houston the lost it all when a hurricane flooded the basement. Quickly created a second IT center, offsite, after that!

15points

I-am-Locutus-of-Borg Report

#40

I used to work for a “non-profit” case management organization. Most of my end-users were case managers trying to take kids away from their s****y parents. All of them were issued laptops and cellphones. We tracked these devices closely. I picked up a ticket from this one girl who lost her phone. When she opened the ticket she CC’d her manager so i thought it was only appropriate to reply all, with the last known location.

After sending them the address i got curious and plugged it into google. It was a well known adult toy store. The girl eventually replied, “I DID NOT GO TO A SEX SHOP!”.

Final score:

36points

POST

BoredPossum 5 months ago

And she did, but who cares?

27points

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

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What do you think ?

POST

R Dennis 5 months ago (edited)

I worked with an overly self-righteous, holier-than-thou woman in the early 90s. I was into computers since the early 80s, so I often had 2 or 3 friend's computers at my house. Anyway, this lady knows I know computers and asks me to look at hers. I open it and her and her husband have different sign-ons. Going into his, there was so. much. porn... like tacky "Come play with me" stuff from early in the day. There were so many viruses and malware that I just told her it needed all of its programs wiped and reinstalled. She didn't care because she only used it for bills. Fortunately, it was the relatively early days of home computers so it took a lot of work but I was able to clean it out for her. I charged her $25, but never told her about the porn... so much porn...

13points

Just_for_this 5 months ago

I had a call out for a broken computer, the remote guy had logged in and couldn't diagnose (you will see why) only thing he could tell me was the user said the PC was doing weird things when they were using the mouse. Got there to see what was happening - they had put their coffee mug on the CTRL key while rolling the mouse wheel.

10points

Mike F 5 months ago

Most of these were funny.

6points

Valdemar 5 months ago

I work for a state government agency as ET/IT and several other roles. I regularly have to send out facility wide emails about making sure to restart the computers to allow updates to take place, to sign out of shared computers, to lock computers when you walk away from them ( think high security risk from housed individuals). I had an employee that was moved to a new office to set up, got everything in place and asked her to log into her computer and she proceeded to give me her password which I stopped her at the third letter, this is a college educated person who has been through security training and is in her 20's and should know better! I can't tell you the number of times I have to plug in cords, reboot laptops and docking hubs. The worst part of the job isn't the people though, it's the heads of the IT/ET that set projects up, if you're going to replace a 20+ year old system that is critical to life health safety then replace the entire system including the servers.

3points

T.O.S.o.R. 5 months ago

I, too, work in the service industry and can 100% confirm... Sometimes, the only service needed is to turn the device ON!

2points

Vanessa MacKenzie 5 months ago

work in telco. Had a massive outage with a fibre company due to a slip that cut the cable and took out half the island. (fibre is owned by several companies in different parts of the country. and telcos rent from them) 2 hr wait on the phone. Customer waited 2 hours, thinking it was an outage. Different fibre company - took all of 1 minute for her to discover that her husband had accidentally unplugged the fibre box while cleaning..... 😂

1point

Dan Flo 5 months ago

Not IT but hydraulics. The amount of time I talk to people not understanding the differance between pressure and force is suprising. Now, I get that people in general don't remember P=F/A from school - but if you are using a 700 bar pump (that's alot of pressure) and a 100kN press (that's alot of force), one would think there would be at least a bit of interest to actually know about the mechanics in work. I often get the question "what force can I get from this pump?" and I say "you get 700 bar pressure from the pump" thinking they mix up force and pressure, but they go "yes I know, but what force is it giving?". Having to explain that the force comes from the tool you connect to the pump, and the area of the piston "convert" the pressure from the pump into a force from the piston is something I did not belive I would have to do to people using these kind of equipments.

2points

Kitty Swain-Evans 5 months ago

Having had a 40+ year career in many phases of IT going back to humongous mainframe days, this is one of the best threads I have read in a long time.

1point

Bettye McKee 5 months ago

I enjoyed this one because the comments were somewhat more intelligent than the usual comments I have to deal with. The world is populated with shallow-minded people.

1point

Emie N. 5 months ago (edited)

I know these posts won't see these here since I'm sure they originally come from reddit but I'll say it here anyway. Language is important. And calling it CP gives the impression that it's just like any other type of pornography when it's not. I know that's obviously not the intent since we've be told it's called CP forever. But these poor children are victims, they are being abused. The proper term is child sexual assault images/videos.

1point

Nikole 5 months ago

Good point, actually. Calling it child porn implies some level of consent.

1point

Patrick H 5 months ago

Calling it "CP" is confusing because I didn't know what those letters meant, but calling it "child pornography" doesn't diminish it at all except maybe to the perverts that are guilty of enjoying it. "Child sexual assault" is committed by people that need to be castrated.

0points

Ephemera Image 5 months ago (edited)

Fully agree. It should NEVER be diminished.

0points

Neill Powell 5 months ago

long ago. I drove 160mi and 4 hours billable to check a faulty printer. Printer was fine. next day, same call out, same "faulty" printer. Nothing wrong. Another billable call-out. Day 3 same faulty printer. I ask the employee to show me the printer that isn't working. She was standing in front of the fax machine. 5 Reams of reprints lying around the actual printer.

1point

David Blink 4 months ago

"My computer is running oh so very slowly." Free disk space? 2%! Show hidden files and folders. Select and delete 60GB of pr0n. Problem solved. User confronted with facts and slinks away.

0points

Bear Family 4 months ago

Cleaned up a computer for people I knew years ago and found much of the storage occupied by their sex videos. Nope. Did not want to see that thanks...

0points

POST

R Dennis 5 months ago (edited)

13points

Just_for_this 5 months ago

10points

Mike F 5 months ago

Most of these were funny.

6points

Valdemar 5 months ago

3points

T.O.S.o.R. 5 months ago

I, too, work in the service industry and can 100% confirm... Sometimes, the only service needed is to turn the device ON!

2points

Vanessa MacKenzie 5 months ago

1point

Dan Flo 5 months ago

2points

Kitty Swain-Evans 5 months ago

Having had a 40+ year career in many phases of IT going back to humongous mainframe days, this is one of the best threads I have read in a long time.

1point

Bettye McKee 5 months ago

I enjoyed this one because the comments were somewhat more intelligent than the usual comments I have to deal with. The world is populated with shallow-minded people.

1point

Emie N. 5 months ago (edited)

1point

Nikole 5 months ago

Good point, actually. Calling it child porn implies some level of consent.

1point