Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

“She Wants To Quit Her Job Permanently To Become Lazy”: Man At Crossroads After Wife Changes
User submission
896
114.3K

“She Wants To Quit Her Job Permanently To Become Lazy”: Man At Crossroads After Wife Changes

ADVERTISEMENT

Recently, it’s become trendy online for people to point out the fact that they “don’t dream of labor.” Many are tired of pouring all of their energy into jobs they hate for 40+ hours a week, and they want corporations to know that this is not what they intended for their lives. However, we must also be realistic. And while I don’t dream of sitting at a computer for 8 hours a day, I do dream of being able to pay my rent and having a fridge full of groceries.

Below, you’ll find a story that was recently shared on Reddit, where a man discusses his wife’s new and controversial goal to live a “soft life,” as well as some of the replies concerned readers have shared.

RELATED:

    Nobody enjoys working a stressful job

    Image credits: Susanna Marsiglia (not the actual photo)

    But when this man’s wife decided she wanted to quit her job to pursue a “soft life,” he couldn’t take her seriously

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: ThrowRA_Unreasonabl

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: David Vilches (not the actual photo)

    Later, the man responded to a couple of comments from readers and provided some background information

    Living a soft life means trying to minimize stress while prioritizing happiness

    If you’re not familiar with the idea of living a “soft life,” don’t worry, the concept is pretty straightforward. According to Dictionary.com, this simply means “a lifestyle of comfort and relaxation with minimal challenges or stress.” While the term has apparently been around since the mid-1600’s, referring to “a life without difficulty,” it has recently gained popularity on social media, thanks to the Nigerian influencer community, as a direct response to the struggle many of us know all too well of working a stressful job.

    The appeal of living a soft life is undeniable. Who doesn’t want to work less hours and eliminate stress from their daily routine? In a world where hustle culture has permeated the workforce and LinkedIn-fluencers are constantly telling us we’re not working hard enough, it can be refreshing to be told to take a deep breath and relax.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    According to Katherine Chang at The Everygirl, living a soft life does not actually require quitting your job or being anti-work, but it’s simply about minimizing stress and anxiety and making an effort to prioritize your own happiness. “Soft living can look opulent, but at its core, it’s a mindset cultivating balance, self-awareness, intentionality, and joy,” Chang explains.

    Image credits: Nguyen Thu Hoai (not the actual photo)

    But not everyone has the privilege of being able to pursue this lifestyle

    Some of the key steps to take to pursue a softer life are making time for rest, managing your stress, establishing boundaries in all aspects of your life, living intentionally, and enlisting help when necessary. Those who choose a soft life will avoid activities that they feel pressured or obligated to do and instead fill their time with what they actually enjoy.

    While a soft life may sound like a dream to you, there’s no denying that there’s a bit of privilege involved in being able to quit a toxic job at a moment’s notice or having the opportunity to work less hours while still being able to put food on the table. In the United States, 53% of households are dual-income today, because for many families, one paycheck simply isn’t enough to make ends meet.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    While the woman in this story may want to quit her job to lower her own stress levels, forcing her husband to become the sole breadwinner may have the opposite effect on him. Having to provide for yourself and your partner can be detrimental for a person’s health, if it causes their stress and anxiety to rise. According to research from the American Institute of Stress, “73% of people have stress that impacts their mental health, and 48% of people have trouble sleeping because of stress.”

    Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

    Becoming the sole breadwinner can be incredibly stressful for a spouse

    Some other common symptoms that can come from living a stressful lifestyle are irritability and anger, fatigue or lack of energy, lack of motivation and interest in things, anxiety or nervousness, headaches, feeling sad or depressed, indigestion or upset stomach, muscle tension and appetite changes.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    While no one should be forced to keep a job that makes them unhappy, we should do our best to work with our partners to find a compromise and a lifestyle that suits us both. Whether you believe that a little bit of hard work builds character or not, maintaining close relationships is essential for our health and wellbeing. So we shouldn’t be quick to throw our friends or spouses into a stressful lifestyle that we know we don’t want for ourselves.

    We would love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, pandas. Would you pursue a soft life if you had the chance? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing a similar topic, look no further than right here.     

    Readers assured the man that he had done nothing wrong, while some recommended that he rethink his marriage

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    114Kviews

    Share on Facebook
    Adelaide Ross

    Adelaide Ross

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    Read less »
    Adelaide Ross

    Adelaide Ross

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

    Vėja Elkimavičiūtė

    Vėja Elkimavičiūtė

    Author, Community member

    Read more »

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. Looking at pets and memes is the best part of my work. I love to travel and want to see the world. Still looking and exploring stuff I like and want to do so thats exciting... and sometimes not

    Read less »

    Vėja Elkimavičiūtė

    Vėja Elkimavičiūtė

    Author, Community member

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. Looking at pets and memes is the best part of my work. I love to travel and want to see the world. Still looking and exploring stuff I like and want to do so thats exciting... and sometimes not

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like your wife, I want the soft life and to not work. But after sober reflection, I realized I like eating regularly and living indoors too much to quit my job. Anyway, you should offer to explore in marriage counseling how to reduce both your stress levels but if she insists on quitting, your marriage is over.

    tw 72
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. By asking him to take the traditional role as "provider" and her as "being taken care of" she is indicating (actually just about shouting) that she does not want to be a "partner" in the relationship. He needs to decide if he wants a partner or not.

    Load More Replies...
    Fora Nakit
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I understand completely her point of view. She might feel like it will take forever to recharge but it will not. As a person who has had a hyperactive life before, she will get bored in a few months max. My BF had burnout like this 2 years ago. We had enough savings for him not to work at least half a year. For a week he did nothing and then he started to do little projects around the house. After two months he got himself a low-paced work that he did in 2 months. After that, he went back to work at full speed. We thought that he'd need at least half a year, and it only took 4 months for him to get back to normal. Now is my turn. I quit my job 4 weeks ago. I told to myself that I'd take some 3 months off, but I am already getting restless. Did a lot for myself already, and I think in a week or two, I'll start to look for a new job. My point is that she thinks that she will never want to go back to her old lifestyle, and he took that as a fact and got scared. She will.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you, very well said. And I'll add that the real important dynamics here are SUPPORT, COMMUNICATION, TRUST, HONESTY. I came right here and haven't read this post yet because I'm living it. The bottom line is, if she's genuinely hitting the skids, he's a HUGE AH and so are his supporters!! If she's pulling a fast one, trying to milk it, or laying an ultimatum, then FU TO HER because it gives those of us who are REALLY burnt out a bad name. Our society already glorifies hustle too much, don't feed it by going for a GRAB

    Load More Replies...
    Ima Manimal
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So she’s basically quitting her job to act like an “influencer”. Then the misandry of demanding he man up and support her Cush lifestyle because she’s exploring her toxic femininity. Glad he has a prenup. That will come in handy.

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... but without the hassle of being an influencer & constantly generating 'content'.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like your wife, I want the soft life and to not work. But after sober reflection, I realized I like eating regularly and living indoors too much to quit my job. Anyway, you should offer to explore in marriage counseling how to reduce both your stress levels but if she insists on quitting, your marriage is over.

    tw 72
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. By asking him to take the traditional role as "provider" and her as "being taken care of" she is indicating (actually just about shouting) that she does not want to be a "partner" in the relationship. He needs to decide if he wants a partner or not.

    Load More Replies...
    Fora Nakit
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I understand completely her point of view. She might feel like it will take forever to recharge but it will not. As a person who has had a hyperactive life before, she will get bored in a few months max. My BF had burnout like this 2 years ago. We had enough savings for him not to work at least half a year. For a week he did nothing and then he started to do little projects around the house. After two months he got himself a low-paced work that he did in 2 months. After that, he went back to work at full speed. We thought that he'd need at least half a year, and it only took 4 months for him to get back to normal. Now is my turn. I quit my job 4 weeks ago. I told to myself that I'd take some 3 months off, but I am already getting restless. Did a lot for myself already, and I think in a week or two, I'll start to look for a new job. My point is that she thinks that she will never want to go back to her old lifestyle, and he took that as a fact and got scared. She will.

    PolymathNecromancer
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you, very well said. And I'll add that the real important dynamics here are SUPPORT, COMMUNICATION, TRUST, HONESTY. I came right here and haven't read this post yet because I'm living it. The bottom line is, if she's genuinely hitting the skids, he's a HUGE AH and so are his supporters!! If she's pulling a fast one, trying to milk it, or laying an ultimatum, then FU TO HER because it gives those of us who are REALLY burnt out a bad name. Our society already glorifies hustle too much, don't feed it by going for a GRAB

    Load More Replies...
    Ima Manimal
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So she’s basically quitting her job to act like an “influencer”. Then the misandry of demanding he man up and support her Cush lifestyle because she’s exploring her toxic femininity. Glad he has a prenup. That will come in handy.

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... but without the hassle of being an influencer & constantly generating 'content'.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Related on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda