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MIL Fumes After Realizing DIL Won’t Cater To Her Unannounced Visit On Vacation
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MIL Fumes After Realizing DIL Won’t Cater To Her Unannounced Visit On Vacation

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As adults, many of us know how precious it is to carve out time for some much-needed peace and quiet.

That’s exactly what this Redditor’s wife was looking forward to during a short vacation they had planned at a cozy cabin. But things didn’t quite go as expected when her mother-in-law showed up unannounced, hoping to have a spontaneous “girl’s day.”

The wife, however, wasn’t in the mood to play along, which stirred up some unexpected family drama.

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    The woman hoped to spend her vacation enjoying some peace and quiet

    Image credits: takemewu31 / Envato (not the actual photo)

    But things didn’t quite go as planned when her mother-in-law showed up unannounced, eager to have a spontaneous “girl’s day”

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    Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / Envato (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: Wrong_Basket_6811

    How to build stronger boundaries and improve your relationship with in-laws

    When we marry someone, we hope that getting along with their family will be part of the package. After all, in-laws often become a big part of our lives. But having a smooth, stress-free relationship with them can be harder than it sounds. In fact, research shows that 75% of couples deal with issues involving their in-laws, and this Reddit story is no exception.

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    What makes disagreements with in-laws especially tricky is the fear of hurting both our spouse and their parents in the process. But smoothing out those rough edges is possible, and licensed marriage and family therapist Sylvia Beligotti from the Relationship Counseling Center of Austin has some valuable advice.

    Her first tip is simple: follow the golden rule. Treat your in-laws how you’d want to be treated, and consider what you’d expect if the roles were reversed. “Adjust your perspective and be willing to give and take,” Beligotti says. “Negotiate by trying to find areas of overlap in everybody’s wants when there is conflict.”

    Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    It’s also important not to feel like you’re in competition with your in-laws for your spouse’s attention. “The love that your spouse has for their parents and the love they have for you is very different,” explains Beligotti. “If it does feel like a competitive atmosphere, address that quickly.”

    If unannounced visits from your in-laws are a problem, try scheduling regular visits in advance. “Surprise visits from your in-laws can ruin romantic nights, disrupt important conversations, or create the expectation that their needs take priority over your relationship. Instead, create a regular pattern of meeting at a scheduled time,” suggests Beligotti.

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    Finally, try finding some common interests. There are likely a few things you both enjoy, and taking part in them together can show your in-laws you care, while also giving you the chance to have some fun.

    And when it comes to setting boundaries, do so with goodwill, not with control or resentment. It’s perfectly okay to put them in place when needed without feeling guilty.

    In the replies, the husband explained he had only invited his dad, not his mom

    Some commenters praised the husband for defending his wife and admired her for sticking to her own plans

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    A few users felt that everyone, except the wife, handled the situation poorly

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    However, many blamed the husband for inviting anyone at all, knowing his wife wanted a peaceful getaway

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

    Read less »

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

    What is your opinion on the mother-in-law arriving unannounced?
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    POST
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To mum, "If you ever turn up univited again, you will be ignored again" or "If you ever turn up univited again, the doors will remain locked". I did that. We live on virtually the exact opposite side of London to the in laws (this did not happen by accident). Came out of my bedroom one birthday morning to see husband ushering his parents in through the front door. Noped out of that and turned right back into my bedroom. None of them expected it as I was (back in my youth) really ultra nice and considerate. Took a stand - not on my birthday. Don't you dare try pushing me around and dressing up something I explicitly don't want to do as a "treat" for me. They had to take the long journey back unsatisfied and (hear me out on this) *never did it again*

    Kyra Heiker
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who show up unannounced and uninvited are not guests. The fact that daughter-in-law took the meal that her mother-in-law made and left and ate in peace just cracks me up. Good for her!

    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does it even mean "Entertain the mom"? Is she a child who wants to play?

    Skogsrået
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think they mean being a host, offering drink/food and sitting with her chatting cause the mom doesn't understand that people read books for fun an relaxation and she herself finds it boring.

    Load More Replies...
    Papa
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I the only one who felt like many of the YTA replied came from people who automatically blamed OP because he's the husband? One or two even said he should have taken his wife fishing also, when it was plain that she wanted to stay at the cabin and read.

    Alicia Bobcheck
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't believe it was because he's the husband. It's because he's the son. It's his parents, one of whom he invited. Why would it be anyone else's responsibility to tell them to leave? I don't see comments suggesting that he take his wife fishing but I do see a number suggesting that he take his mother fishing...

    Load More Replies...
    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA for not booting her out asap. My MIL has a hard time understanding when we are exhausted or the social battery runs low. We tell her in no uncertain ways if it's too much.

    Weasel Wise
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP's mom is deranged. She invites herself to interject into her DIL's vacation and then gets upset when she isn't placated to. This can't be the first time his mom has been utterly clueless and self centered.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You talk supportive of your wife, but you aren't acting supportive. Yeah, you get a couple of points for verbally taking your wife's side, but you lose a heck of a lot more for not handling the situation in the first place. Your wife had the mental and emotional load of MILs unwelcome presence in her cabin, and had to hide in her room all day instead of relaxing. You went ahead with your plans and came back late. When she rocked in uninvited, you should have said "Go fishing with us, or go home". It's not relaxing to hole up in your room avoiding the judgemental, bullying invader fuming in the other room, it's stressful and anxiety provoking.

    Darthest Starfish
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good lord, dude can't even take a fishing day with his own father without being called an AH. Yeah, he probably shouldn't have left mom there with her, but like, adults make adult decisions and he certainly didn't invite his mom and also defended his wife. Like.......wtf guys......he shouldn't bear the blame on this one.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you think it was fine for his wife to hafta spend the day hiding from HIS mother on HER vacation in HER house? I can’t wait to read your wife’s “AITA?” on Reddit some day!

    Load More Replies...
    michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, both YOU and your DAD are the AL'S. YOU for leaving your wife with your mom, who "does this all the time " and your DAD for bringing her along because he's too pussy whipped to tell her to butt out and stay home. Good for you to put your foot down, but it should have been done the minute she showed up. The ultimatum should have been, either come fishing with us or go home, period.

    Jules
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yay! Finally a guy who stands up to his mother for his wife!

    GlitterPanda
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a rarity, but I actually agree with the YTA commenters this time. He's not TA for anything he said to his mom, but absolutely YTA for leaving his wife to deal with her!

    AD Sully
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so glad she gave that woman the hand. As a life-long, voracious reader I really felt this. Why does the hobby of reading bring out such weird and strong negative responses in people? I could be on a train, in a waiting room, or just taking a break and open a book and it is like a challenge to folks. There I am, sitting in a room with 20+ other people, I open a book, and someone decides to strike up a conversation. With me. The only person reading a book. Why?

    marcelo D.
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "my mom complained that mywife should have tried to be a gracious hostess" The wife wasn't a hostess, cause MIL wasn't a guess. She was gracious enough that she didn't outright kick her out for being an badly educated AH that intrudess in other people homes without being invited.

    Jan Bowyer
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately, men’s mothers often have difficulty accepting that their son has a whole life of his own, even when he’s been married for a long time. I’ve lived through two mothers-in -law. Both of them assumed that I would automatically think like they do. It can be tough, but boundaries must be set.

    Ash Conner
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He should have told his mom to go fishing with them. You know how there are culture differences. Well generational differences are similar. Back in the day when wives didn't work like that it was more acceptable to entertain even if it was unannounced. Women have way more on their plates now a days. Wife has stressful job. MIL doesn't comprehend. She is also not getting that people read for fun. That is why there are stories in books. Husband should have just took mom fishing. Next time something like this happens MIL will know she will be dragged fishing and just stay home. Fishing would have been her consequence. I would have never tell her she is unwanted either. That is fu**Ed up to say to someone. Say, " wife is exhausted. She needs her space. I am so glad you want to come fishing mother. I love spending time with you as well". Mother can't back out at that point.

    Nitka Tsar
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate it when people can‘t just let others live like they want. „My Mom thinks reading is boring and thought she was doing my wife a favor“

    Leslie Stryker
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg, these people don't know how to read.... this was handled perfectly. The mom was left to entertain herself all day. The wife got her alone reading time. The hubs and dad got to fish. Now mom will actually get the message. And to the idiot who thinks the husband should have been hanging out with the wife... THAT would have ruined her vacation. The point was she wanted alone time. Which she got.

    Doctor Strange
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was NOT handled perfectly. The wife had to spend the day locked in her room to avoid the uninvited interloper. She was on vacation, looking forward to a quiet and stress free day, and instead was left feeling trapped in her own home.

    Load More Replies...
    R Dennis
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The TYAs are dense, as usual. "Hey dad, want to go fishing?" to most people mean dad's coming fishing, not mom and dad are coming over and my wife is going to have to entertain. OP called out mom's bs immediately and defended his wife. I'd bet the wife knew the dad was going fishing and she didn't mind because it meant her husband had company while she rested. If anything, the dad should have said he was bringing the mother, but he too was bamboozled. So, TA is the mom - you don't invite yourself to someone's vacation and expect to be treated as a guest.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Main Character just got relegated to the rafters but claims to be victim. I would never show up somewhere unannounced and expect to be entertained and fed. That's just rude. I too would also retreat to my room and continue reading. In fact, I can't think of anything better. This was a lesson to mother-dear. Not everyone is plastic and willing to bend.

    G Bono
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother would have handled this very differently than OP's wife did. She would have walked into the kitchen and grabbed a loaf of bread and some lunch meat, or whatever was around, and slammed it down on the counter, gestured towards it and walked away. That would actually have been the lead into a one way "conversation" about boundaries and the need for common sense and social decorum. Trust me, MIL would never overstep again. OP did a great job of backing up his wife, but I do agree with others that OP should reconsider inviting Dad alone, but this does show why the invite excluded mom

    DC
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... it's not hard to imagine that Dad would love being wifeless at times, too. She seems overbearing and nonunderstanding, and, likely, he's given up on it and just mutes the surroundings mentally if she's on him permanently at home...

    Load More Replies...
    Kathy Kennedy
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Knowing she was not invited your mother should have either brought her own book and chose her own quiet place to read, or gone fishing with you. lf she brought food she should have been ready to cook it herself, seemed like she forgot it was your vacation and got a pointed reminder

    Baba 35
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Soo many like this now BP stop milking a dead cow

    Marcos Valencia
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    That would never happen in my family. My parents and in-laws will be always welcome, no invitation needed. My wife and I will always be happy having them with us. If my mother or my mother-in-law are in the house, they will insist in cooking more than needed (and probably will bring their own ingredients). And, If I want to chill by myself because it's being a stressful time for me, everybody will understand and leave me alone. I think things works this way in most families I know.

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To mum, "If you ever turn up univited again, you will be ignored again" or "If you ever turn up univited again, the doors will remain locked". I did that. We live on virtually the exact opposite side of London to the in laws (this did not happen by accident). Came out of my bedroom one birthday morning to see husband ushering his parents in through the front door. Noped out of that and turned right back into my bedroom. None of them expected it as I was (back in my youth) really ultra nice and considerate. Took a stand - not on my birthday. Don't you dare try pushing me around and dressing up something I explicitly don't want to do as a "treat" for me. They had to take the long journey back unsatisfied and (hear me out on this) *never did it again*

    Kyra Heiker
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who show up unannounced and uninvited are not guests. The fact that daughter-in-law took the meal that her mother-in-law made and left and ate in peace just cracks me up. Good for her!

    Bernd Herbert
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does it even mean "Entertain the mom"? Is she a child who wants to play?

    Skogsrået
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think they mean being a host, offering drink/food and sitting with her chatting cause the mom doesn't understand that people read books for fun an relaxation and she herself finds it boring.

    Load More Replies...
    Papa
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I the only one who felt like many of the YTA replied came from people who automatically blamed OP because he's the husband? One or two even said he should have taken his wife fishing also, when it was plain that she wanted to stay at the cabin and read.

    Alicia Bobcheck
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't believe it was because he's the husband. It's because he's the son. It's his parents, one of whom he invited. Why would it be anyone else's responsibility to tell them to leave? I don't see comments suggesting that he take his wife fishing but I do see a number suggesting that he take his mother fishing...

    Load More Replies...
    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA for not booting her out asap. My MIL has a hard time understanding when we are exhausted or the social battery runs low. We tell her in no uncertain ways if it's too much.

    Weasel Wise
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP's mom is deranged. She invites herself to interject into her DIL's vacation and then gets upset when she isn't placated to. This can't be the first time his mom has been utterly clueless and self centered.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You talk supportive of your wife, but you aren't acting supportive. Yeah, you get a couple of points for verbally taking your wife's side, but you lose a heck of a lot more for not handling the situation in the first place. Your wife had the mental and emotional load of MILs unwelcome presence in her cabin, and had to hide in her room all day instead of relaxing. You went ahead with your plans and came back late. When she rocked in uninvited, you should have said "Go fishing with us, or go home". It's not relaxing to hole up in your room avoiding the judgemental, bullying invader fuming in the other room, it's stressful and anxiety provoking.

    Darthest Starfish
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good lord, dude can't even take a fishing day with his own father without being called an AH. Yeah, he probably shouldn't have left mom there with her, but like, adults make adult decisions and he certainly didn't invite his mom and also defended his wife. Like.......wtf guys......he shouldn't bear the blame on this one.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you think it was fine for his wife to hafta spend the day hiding from HIS mother on HER vacation in HER house? I can’t wait to read your wife’s “AITA?” on Reddit some day!

    Load More Replies...
    michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, both YOU and your DAD are the AL'S. YOU for leaving your wife with your mom, who "does this all the time " and your DAD for bringing her along because he's too pussy whipped to tell her to butt out and stay home. Good for you to put your foot down, but it should have been done the minute she showed up. The ultimatum should have been, either come fishing with us or go home, period.

    Jules
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yay! Finally a guy who stands up to his mother for his wife!

    GlitterPanda
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a rarity, but I actually agree with the YTA commenters this time. He's not TA for anything he said to his mom, but absolutely YTA for leaving his wife to deal with her!

    AD Sully
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so glad she gave that woman the hand. As a life-long, voracious reader I really felt this. Why does the hobby of reading bring out such weird and strong negative responses in people? I could be on a train, in a waiting room, or just taking a break and open a book and it is like a challenge to folks. There I am, sitting in a room with 20+ other people, I open a book, and someone decides to strike up a conversation. With me. The only person reading a book. Why?

    marcelo D.
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "my mom complained that mywife should have tried to be a gracious hostess" The wife wasn't a hostess, cause MIL wasn't a guess. She was gracious enough that she didn't outright kick her out for being an badly educated AH that intrudess in other people homes without being invited.

    Jan Bowyer
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately, men’s mothers often have difficulty accepting that their son has a whole life of his own, even when he’s been married for a long time. I’ve lived through two mothers-in -law. Both of them assumed that I would automatically think like they do. It can be tough, but boundaries must be set.

    Ash Conner
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He should have told his mom to go fishing with them. You know how there are culture differences. Well generational differences are similar. Back in the day when wives didn't work like that it was more acceptable to entertain even if it was unannounced. Women have way more on their plates now a days. Wife has stressful job. MIL doesn't comprehend. She is also not getting that people read for fun. That is why there are stories in books. Husband should have just took mom fishing. Next time something like this happens MIL will know she will be dragged fishing and just stay home. Fishing would have been her consequence. I would have never tell her she is unwanted either. That is fu**Ed up to say to someone. Say, " wife is exhausted. She needs her space. I am so glad you want to come fishing mother. I love spending time with you as well". Mother can't back out at that point.

    Nitka Tsar
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate it when people can‘t just let others live like they want. „My Mom thinks reading is boring and thought she was doing my wife a favor“

    Leslie Stryker
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg, these people don't know how to read.... this was handled perfectly. The mom was left to entertain herself all day. The wife got her alone reading time. The hubs and dad got to fish. Now mom will actually get the message. And to the idiot who thinks the husband should have been hanging out with the wife... THAT would have ruined her vacation. The point was she wanted alone time. Which she got.

    Doctor Strange
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was NOT handled perfectly. The wife had to spend the day locked in her room to avoid the uninvited interloper. She was on vacation, looking forward to a quiet and stress free day, and instead was left feeling trapped in her own home.

    Load More Replies...
    R Dennis
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The TYAs are dense, as usual. "Hey dad, want to go fishing?" to most people mean dad's coming fishing, not mom and dad are coming over and my wife is going to have to entertain. OP called out mom's bs immediately and defended his wife. I'd bet the wife knew the dad was going fishing and she didn't mind because it meant her husband had company while she rested. If anything, the dad should have said he was bringing the mother, but he too was bamboozled. So, TA is the mom - you don't invite yourself to someone's vacation and expect to be treated as a guest.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Main Character just got relegated to the rafters but claims to be victim. I would never show up somewhere unannounced and expect to be entertained and fed. That's just rude. I too would also retreat to my room and continue reading. In fact, I can't think of anything better. This was a lesson to mother-dear. Not everyone is plastic and willing to bend.

    G Bono
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother would have handled this very differently than OP's wife did. She would have walked into the kitchen and grabbed a loaf of bread and some lunch meat, or whatever was around, and slammed it down on the counter, gestured towards it and walked away. That would actually have been the lead into a one way "conversation" about boundaries and the need for common sense and social decorum. Trust me, MIL would never overstep again. OP did a great job of backing up his wife, but I do agree with others that OP should reconsider inviting Dad alone, but this does show why the invite excluded mom

    DC
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... it's not hard to imagine that Dad would love being wifeless at times, too. She seems overbearing and nonunderstanding, and, likely, he's given up on it and just mutes the surroundings mentally if she's on him permanently at home...

    Load More Replies...
    Kathy Kennedy
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Knowing she was not invited your mother should have either brought her own book and chose her own quiet place to read, or gone fishing with you. lf she brought food she should have been ready to cook it herself, seemed like she forgot it was your vacation and got a pointed reminder

    Baba 35
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Soo many like this now BP stop milking a dead cow

    Marcos Valencia
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    That would never happen in my family. My parents and in-laws will be always welcome, no invitation needed. My wife and I will always be happy having them with us. If my mother or my mother-in-law are in the house, they will insist in cooking more than needed (and probably will bring their own ingredients). And, If I want to chill by myself because it's being a stressful time for me, everybody will understand and leave me alone. I think things works this way in most families I know.

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