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Man Thinks His Dog Ran Away 5 Years Ago, Considers Divorce After Learning What Really Happened
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Man Thinks His Dog Ran Away 5 Years Ago, Considers Divorce After Learning What Really Happened

Interview With Expert Man Thinks His Dog Ran Away 5 Years Ago, Considers Divorce After Learning What Really HappenedMan Gives Wife An Ultimatum After Learning She Got Rid Of His Dog 5 Years Ago And Lied About ItMan Finds Out His Beloved Dog Didn’t Actually Run Away 5 Years Ago, Considers DivorceGuy Considers Divorce After Finding Out Wife Took His Beloved Dog To The Pound“I’m Furious”: Husband Wants To Divorce Wife After Finding Out She Took His Dog To The PoundWife Gets Rid Of Husband's Dog, Lies For 5 Years About ItWife Gets Rid Of Dog Without Husband’s Knowledge, He Starts Considering Divorce After Finding OutWife Took Husband's Dog To The Pound And Told Him It Ran Away, The Truth Crushes Him 5 Years LaterMan Learns His Dog Didn't Run Away, Wife Just Got Rid Of It, Gives Her An Ultimatum“She Was My Dog, My Baby”: Man Gives Wife An Ultimatum For Secretly Taking His Dog To The Pound
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Fighting and disagreeing about things is a natural part of a marriage. Who’s doing the dishes, who’s picking the kids up from school, what to eat for dinner – all of these can trigger arguments between couples. Pets can also cause arguments. In fact, research shows that dogs, in particular, cause three family arguments in a week.

This couple’s argument was especially heartbreaking. For several years, the husband thought his beloved dog ran away. Then he found out his wife and her father actually took his pet to the pound. Feeling incredibly hurt and betrayed, the man asked whether threatening separation over the incident was too much.

To learn more about families and pet ownership, Bored Panda reached out to the UK-based Clinical Animal Behaviorist Karen Wild. She’s a registered dog trainer and author of five books on dog and cat behavior, including Being A Dog. Karen kindly agreed to tell us more about assessing the dangers a dog might pose to a new baby and what families should consider before getting a dog.

Many dog owners love their pets like family members and mourn their loss when they run away

Image credits: Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo)

This husband found out his dog didn’t actually run away but was taken to the pound by his wife

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Image credits: Mia X / pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Anonymous

The husband gave more details about his circumstances in the comments

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Image credits: Sarah Chai / pexels (not the actual photo)

Since the wife in the story seemed to worry about her newborn’s safety because of the dog, we asked an animal behaviorist, Karen Wild, how new parents should approach this issue. She says that it’s best to leave any assessment of possible danger to a professional.

“A clinical animal behaviorist is trained to assess potential risks, ranging from how likely the dog is to show impulse control around a wide range of things, including children, but also whether or not the dogs have been well trained using positive reward-based methods.”

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“All dogs react differently to temptations, stressful situations, and changes to their lives. It is reasonable to expect a new baby to change the dog’s routine, so preparing for other help with the dog [and] keeping the dog’s life as similar as possible to before will help the dog cope and feel more secure and calmer.”

“It is a complex area, and such a risk assessment, especially to do with baby and child safety, is something that should only be entrusted to a registered professional,” Wild emphasizes. “Every dog is an individual, and it is common for owners whose dogs have bitten [them] to be very surprised that it has happened.”

Image credits: Maria Orlova / pexels (not the actual photo)

“A dog will be around for a very long time,” Karen Wild says. “And even the most well-raised dogs can have problems throughout their lives. I see many families with problems with their dogs, where the problems were simply making the wrong choice for that family.” That’s why families should consider certain things before getting a dog.

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Karen says that people often choose a dog that doesn’t align with their lifestyle. “Too big, too active, not enough time, expecting the dog to not have needs of their own, etc. Dogs need considerable amounts of time and money, and [they] deserve to be cared for as fully as possible,” she says.

“I would always insure a dog and be ready for that cost because medical care is expensive. The biggest consideration is [to] not choose on breed alone, and never on fashion. This does not give you any idea about their temperament. Many fashionable breeds have serious health issues and will not have the lovely happy life you’d like.”

Puppy farm sellers are extremely devious and will conceal the puppy’s early upbringing, so read up carefully on this,” Karen also adds. “Always meet the mother dog, [and] make sure she is the real mother. Meet the father if you can and as many of the litter and other family dogs as possible. Ask an expert for help; we are trained to support you!”

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Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva / pexels (not the actual photo)

Married people make decisions together. Going behind your partner’s back and doing something as serious as getting rid of their long-term pet is nothing short of cruel. However, one partner not wanting a pet is not that strange. The reasons for that can be many, from allergies and fear to simply disliking cats, dogs, or other types of pets.

But there’s also the financial issue. In order to take good care of a dog, you need to spend some money. There’s food, veterinary care, bed, toys, treats, leashes — the costs can add up to a considerable sum pretty quickly. The Rover estimates that the annual cost of having a dog is between $1,000–$5,225.

Perhaps the biggest difference between couples who own a dog and those who don’t is their lifestyles. When you have a dog and are going on a trip, you either have to take them with you or leave them with a sitter. It’s both mental labor and additional costs. Nowadays, there are also daycares, dog walkers, and pet hotels for those who wish to have some time off without their pets.

Other people don’t like the messes pets can make. Most times, owning a pet means your home is going to be covered in hair. Those who live in less sunny climates also have to deal with their dog bringing in dirt from outside constantly. If the pup is still small, there’s a whole other can of worms with potty training, which comes with its particular sights and smells.

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Animal Behaviorist Karen B. London, Ph.D., also writes about the emotional aspect of why some people don’t want to get a dog. They simply fear they will fail the pet as an owner. “Having a dog is a lot of responsibility, and that can make many people nervous, especially if they have never been a pet parent before,” she claims.

Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / pexels (not the actual photo)

When one partner is against having a dog but the other wants it badly, it might seem that there’s no way out. However, it’s possible to resolve the situation without resorting to ultimatums and shouting, “It’s either the dog or me!”

Karen B. London, for example, recommends couples to do a trial run. That means either fostering a dog for a few weeks or just looking after a friend’s pet for a few days. Practice makes perfect, after all, and it might turn out that the partner who was so against the pup is actually quite good at pet care and/or training.

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Clinical psychologist and author of When Pets Come Between Partners: How to Keep Love — and Romance — in the Human/Animal Kingdom of Your Home, Dr. Joel Gavriele-Gold, Ph.D., told the AKC something similar. “For a lot of people, what works is just trying it. It often turns out better than expected, and the dog ends up adored by the one who didn’t want it.”

If the dog is already living with the family but one partner seems to be against it, experts say that it’s important to find out why they have this aversion. Identifying the problem might lead to better conflict resolution. If it’s about the mess, the walking, or the feeding, the partner with the pet should be taking responsibility.

“If it’s your pet, and you say, ‘I see that shedding bothers you, so I’m going to do the cleaning,’ that’s respecting the other. If you’re saying, ‘If it bothers you so much, then you clean it,’ I think that’s sending a bigger message,” Marriage and Family Therapist Catherine Hastings, Ph.D., says.

If the conflict is caused by a dog’s behavioral issues, experts advise enrolling in training classes. Other couples choose to wear out their pets in daycare so they’re not as unruly at home. At the end of the day, the couple should ask themselves whether this issue is bigger than them. For some, it might be a dealbreaker. For others, Hastings says, it might bring them closer together.

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Others thought everyone in this situation sucked

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Others deemed the husband to be the guilty one

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Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Read less »
Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

Read less »

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Viktorija Ošikaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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Hannah Taylor
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get all the ESH and YTA comments. What OP'S wife did was just plain malicious. Getting rid of his dog, and lying about it, isn't the behavior of someone afraid of dogs. It's the act of an unfeeling human being. I don't blame OP for being angry. How would she feel if he should take something of hers, that had sentimental value, and donated it to a homeless shelter, simply because "it made him nervous"? Hoo boy, wouldn't everybody be up in arms about THAT!

Sunny Day
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you worry a pet is dangerous and shouldn't be around children - then don't have children until the pet passes away. OP had the dog for several years; she would only live maybe 5 more years. And if baby happens and partner refuses to rehome pet - then YOU leave with the baby.

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Amy Smith
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex partner gave my Axolotl away without telling me or giving me a chance to collect her. I will never know what she did with her. Admittedly, not quite the same as a dog but still an animal I loved and was in my care. I will NEVER forgive her for it. There is no way OP is TA here. This is wrong. Divorce her mate

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother got rid of my childhood dog when I was 8 or 9, and got rid of my iguana a year later. I'm 42 now and I still have not forgiven her for either incident. I am so sorry you don't know what happened to your axolotl. I hope she ended up in a good home. Pets are our beloved family members regardless of their species. <3

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Anna Ekberg
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah i don't see him divorcing the wife, where would he go? How would he manage? I do see this marriage crumble though, killed by resentment, distrust and other bad feelings.

Jon Steensen
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

..a studio appartment. Yeah it may be a downgrade, but it is still better than staying with a woman you can't trust, and it is better for the children being with a happy farther half of the time, than picking up on their farther's resent for his partner all the time.

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Elvira394
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a cat person my whole life. I tried dogs couldn't handle it. Plus then I had kids (I'm also female). Five years ago my husband brought home a gigantic Labrador puppy. I told him that's fine, but that's his responsibility I ain't touching it I don't know how to take care of a dog. Five years later... The three boys in my home can barely remember the dogs name and he is my best friend and I trust him with my daughter's life more than I trust most human beings and even my husband with my daughters life.

ZGutr
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP want it both ways. At one hand, the house, kids & wife on the other hand, the dog event is unforgivable. Getting a dog would just make things worse. She'll hate it, He will never be at rest when not at home. ...... a choices has to be made: Either forgive and move on, OR get out and leave.

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What other lie has she been telling. And if she is SAHM then time for her to get a job because he needs to move out (and get another dog) rather than stay there and create a toxic environment for the kids.

sharyn turnicky
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Time to rehome wife back to parents. Would not be able to trust them again because of their shared values or lack of

LaserBrain
Community Member
5 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

Susie Elle
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the wife did was awful and treacherous. That said, I want to address that even a 'not aggressive' dog can come after a baby. Be cautious.

sturmwesen
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why you don't leave them alone together and might get help to make sure you introduce them properly and read the dog correctly.

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Moira Munguia
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP says he checked at the dog shelters. She didn't take it to a shelter, she outright had it euthanised, hopefully at a reputable vets. He shouldn't inflict her on another dog Hopefully she isn't as cold blooded with their kids

Janet Graham
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think a Stay-at-home Mother of 3 kids under 5 is too busy to deal with a dog. It would be different if the original dog had been able to grow up with the kids and learn how to deal with them. But even a Golden Retriever could snap if she was being mauled by 2 or 3 little kids at the same time. Do not do that to her, the kids, or the dog. If the marriage survives, the kids could get a dog when the youngest is 5 or older. If the marriage does not survive, you need to get your life together and the kids stable before adding a dog to the mix. I think you should try couples counseling. She may have had issues with the dog and you did not listen when she told you.

Aelin Wildfire
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she's willing to give up the dog and let it die, what could she do to the children? And if all he can afford is a studio apartment, he'll never get custody, but that means LEAVING the kids with the woman who did that (and probably also with her parents, who encouraged and enabled it). Maybe he's staying to -protect- the kids?

Granny's Thoughts
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd have moved out that same day. Why woul d anyone stay married to such a cruel selfish woman.

Ron
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce her. Let her have the kids! Get a new place and a new dog! I'll bet the kids will want to spend more time with you and the dog than they will with her. And don't forget to tell them what their mother did!!

Andy Frobig
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The "we get a dog or else" ultimatum is a non starter. It seems to me the wife must have known the dog for a long time, the whole time they were dating and engaged. Who knows when she started thinking up this scheme. She could have made her case for why the dog had to go, and given the husband some input on where. The malice and duplicity aren't things you come back from. Starting over alone is tough, but people do it every day, and it's the right thing to do here

Zach Bigalke
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anon can go eat s**t with that "the mother knows best" nonsense.

Daniel VanHoorne
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can’t suggest you invite the father in law over and punch each or them in the mouth a couple of times - that would be wrong- but if it happened I’d probably be fine with that.

Donna Peluda
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't Imagen what I would do, just to think of the suffering the dog went through being separated from the people he loved. I could never forgive. If it wasn't for the 3 kids I'd be in the news. Just the thought of it makes me sick.

Just stopping by
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have to leave. I would never ever be able to be around her again much less trust the cow. My dog is my baby and we're a package deal. Her knowing how he felt about the fur baby, watching him mourn and showing no remorse in the slightest. Nope. I would have to get out of there before I chose violence.

Ken Schroeder
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she did that to me, divorce would be the least of her worries. Long-time pets are family. Imagine coming home to find your new wife sent your daughter off for adoption...

Jaime Borris
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i would be getting DNA test done on those kids. if she lied about the dog she might be lying about the kids too. leave her asap with the kids if they are yours. if shes a SAHM then she needs to get a job. get her away from the kids as much as possible before one of them turns up 'missing'. if shes willing to abuse an animal chances are she'll abuse the kids

Your Mom
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a confirmed animal abuser and OP wants to get another dog with her? Definitely an AH move. People like to forget that these kind of things are not about a dog. It's about she doesn't respect him, she made something wrong for him on purpose, and she was lying to him about a very important matter for years. She doesn't respect his feelings. Surely she has the upper hand, she knows he can't do anything because her parents own the house, they have 3 children together and stuff. So literally this man is living in an abusive relationship.

Crazy boi 678
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA that dog wasn’t just your property by law it sounds like they were a genuine help in any tough times you had

Evion Soreso
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His wife did something absolutely disgusting and inexcusable. I would loathe my partner if they ever did that to me. A pet is literally family and my heart breaks for that poor dog who probably spent the last years of its life alone wondering what it did wrong.

millac
Community Member
5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, pregnant women developing a sudden and urgent negative avoidance of animals is a very well known and documented thing. Happens a lot. It's a hormone driven instinctual thing that is extremely difficult to counter because so many brain and pregnancy chemicals are in the driving seat, reinforcing it. It tends to chill out....once the kid is out of infancy. That's a really, reaaaally long time for her to be super uncomfortable and paranoid in her own home. New pet allergies are also a fun thing pregnant people get, which may not go away. Waiting it out and speaking with a therapist about the new fears and methods to handle them can help (though not with allergies). But, and this is a HUGE but, the issue often switches from her wanting to get rid of the dog/ cat she was previously perfectly fine with, which hubby sees as a betrayal....to her viewing her spouse as a bad partner who has chosen an animal over both her and their newborn. So he is therefore unworthy of having either and cannot be trusted to meet either's emotional, physical, or basic safety needs.

millac
Community Member
5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husbands who find themselves in this s****y situation that's just the universe wrecking a good thing for no reason, need to be very careful to listen, acknowledge, and address a pregnant wife's concerns in a fair and balanced way that makes her feel like she's being heard and understood. No calling her crazy, outright refusing to do anything, or thinking that the dog existing before the kid is worth anything. Or those husbands will find themselves transformed into an enemy the new mom views as a danger to her kid, and she'll do stuff like disengage from the discussion to get rid of the pet behind his back and remove what she views as a major threat without him. Offering stuff like behavior training, writing out an official plan to introduce the dog and keep baby safe, transitioning the dog to outside, and acknowledging that if the dog does x, y, or z things, it will need to be rehomed and you will follow through on that, are all things which would go a long way to getting both people what they want: keeping the pet and feeling safe. Though, if it's allergies, you're effed and your hands are tied.

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Jon Steensen
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"All I can affort is a studio appartment"... well then it will be a studio appartment for you then. A dog is a member of the family, not a toy you can discard if you don't like it. The woman knew he had that dog, and yet she chose to become pregnant without dealing with that "issue" first? Plain stupidity. She has shown that she can't be trusted, and that she will hurt him and lie about it to get it her way. That relationship is dead, and now he has to do the best he can with the cards he is dealt. Don't stay in a dead relationship for the sake of the children, having two happy parents who lives apart is better than having couple of parents who lives togheter but is incompatible and can't stand each other. ...and then get a dog. They are more honest and faithful than most humans.

Aelin Wildfire
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But that means leaving the kids with the woman who decided to give up a family pet with the full knowledge that it would probably be euthanized. What might she do to the kids later on? What might her parents do to them? I think staying to protect the kids in this particular case is the lesser of two evils (at least, according to what we're being told here - there's always something that doesn't get said).... But under no circumstances should he try to bring another dog around that woman.

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MR
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F those who call him an AH for anything other than staying with her. I don't care who ends up with primary custody, he should want nothing to do with her beyond their kids. His dog is the equilivent of his child and she had so little contempt for his child that she actively ditch his child and lied about it for years.

Kate Johnson
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if I couldn't "leave", I would make sure my wife knew that I no longer trusted her word or her parents word on anything and would need regular verification that she was telling the truth. I would remind her that "now I KNOW" about your penchant for lying to get your way and I won't be forgetting it. I would also make sure my children knew what she did, because I wouldn't want them to trust her too much. Who knows what she will do in the future??

Reta Murphy
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It has been over 4 years? Wonder what happened? I would have tried to file charges against parents and her for stealing.

Steve Hall
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will not take sides on this arguement, but just because the dog was trained doesn't mean the baby was.

FluffyDreg
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will take sides because getting rid of yiur partners dog and lying about it is NEVER okay. Of you really dont trust their dig and they wint get rid of it? Break up.

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D 4
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Find yourself a dog loving lady and some self respect .She doesn't love you ,nobody who loves a man does that to him .I'd rather live in a cardboard box than with someone who treat me like that .That was pure evil .Good luck mate

Coffeemama05
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If my husband got rid of my cat- he’d be gone. My cat is my baby. I’d pick my cat over my husband

Mel West
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It doesn't matter how long after finding out a partner done this it is unforgivable and the trust is lost. I had both my children 2 dogs 2 cats and a few reptiles to look after our rottie and cockapoo where amazing around our children . A pet is for life and for them to go behind his back and lie for years is disgusting. You can never get that trust back and having the in laws involved too I'm sorry I'd remove myself from this and co parent my children I hope he done the right thing as resenting your partner will never go away

Teddy O'Malley
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't believe anybody would vote YTA on this. What she did was a huge betrayal. I would file for divorce and live in an attic if I had to.

Hilary Rost
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He does say that it was a potentially dangerous breed. Both he and his wife need to compromise. His wife should accept that they will have a dog in the future. They should wait until the youngest child is not needing the constant attention that babies do and settle on a firm date for this. They should choose a breed which is not regarded as unreliable and the children should be involved with choosing and looking after the puppy which should be a family dog and not his personal pet. Having a dog is very good for children and learning about keeping an animal helps their development.

Rocket Scientist
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like all the ESH and YTA comments are focused on him wanting to bring another dog into the situation, possibly endangering the dog. Personally, it sounds to me like he’s using the new dog as a weapon. He didn’t get another dog for 5 years because “the kids take a lot of energy and time.” Now he finds out the truth and suddenly he’s insisting on getting a new dog. Do the kids suddenly need less time and energy? No? Then he doesn’t care about the well-being of the animal. He doesn’t want a pet to love, he wants a weapon to use against his wife. What do you want to bet he’d get another “aggressive” breed, just for spite? This marriage needs a divorce, not a dog.

Mike m
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If i was the parents (who owned the house), i would have gave him an ultimatum. You can move out and keep your dog or stay here with no dog. The fact they owned the house could have made this so much easier. He would have move out with the dog, problem solved.

Melissa anderson
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kick that b***h to the curb and get custody of those kids. The wife is a psycho and doesn’t give a damn about her husband.

weatherwitch
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her actions were malicious. However I note he uses inverted commas to state "aggressive breed" as though he does not agree with the legal classification. Those dogs in particular, ANY dogs can turn and tear a child or adult apart. A crying baby is known to be a trigger. Surely his beloved dog was microchipped like All responsible owners do? Or is the law in many countries. Why didn't a shelter contact him if the dog had been turned in but found to be chipped. O I get the impression he likely was more irresponsible than he realised and the dog because of his inability to train it properly, became a risk to the newborn coming. She's the SAHM mum in her own property. I bet she'd be responsible for the dog and the following three children too... What she did was horrible, but if he thinks the dog would have been euthanized because of its breed, does he Really think it was safe around wee bairns??

FluffyDreg
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because "aggressive breeds" is complete and utter BS. Chihuahuas are highly aggressive but not on that list. Or German Shepards! Those dogs can also be VERY aggressive... but they aren't on any list. Also a dog being microchipped wouldnt matter? They weren't lost, they were surrendered. A shelter isn't going to really think much about it? The dog was never lost and found, but """legally""" given up. Theres no indication of irresponsible behaviour or training.

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Deborah B
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The wife was unquestionably in the wrong for surrendering the dog and lying about it. She shoud have stood her ground 5 years ago, and told the husband to rehome his dangerous breed, or move out with it. Yeah, his dog was "trained" and "dangerous breeds" are often wonderful friendly dogs.... but. But, his wife obiously didn't feel safe or in control of the dog. But, we've all heard the very many stories of the 'well trained, friendly, great with the kids' dogs and the small children who get maimed or killed by them. But, his "trained" dog "ran away" and he didn't question that it would, so clearly, not an obedient and well controlled dog. But, he didn't take his wife's concerns, and comfort seriously, which suggests that he's not a responsible dog-owner. Dumping the dog on a shelter instead of properly rehoming it makes her an a*****e. He's an a*****e for not managing the situation of his wife feeling unsafe having his dangerous breed around a new baby.

Kabuki Kitsune
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For those curious, the ESH and YTA comments came out of two specific things that turned up in review of the post. First, when referring to their own flesh and blood, IE their child, they simply said 'the baby'. There was little to any care for their baby, or its potential safety due to a known aggressive breed of dog. When speaking of the dog in question though, OP said "my BABY" painting a picture both in the comments, and the post that the dog was more important to them than their own child. The second thing which came out, is the dog was a pitbull, and it was implied that due to its aggressive nature, the dog was destroyed by the pound. It was also implied that this action was taken due to city regulations that limit conditions in which such a breed may be owned. Multiple cities have outrignt bans on ownership of the animals, and will automatically euthanize them if the animals are surrendered or seized.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, get over yourself about that first part. That's B.S. OP referred to the human child as "the baby" because, you know, it HADN'T BEEN BORN YET, so it IS "the baby". His dog had already been with him for years at that point and WAS his "baby". He didn't mean it literally. I call my younger cat my "baby boy". He's not my baby. He's not even a baby cat any more (he's 3.) You going to call me an AH because I call my cat my baby? I'd also love to see where you saw that it "came out" that the dog was a pit bull and that it was definitively destroyed by the pound, as I picked over that post and the comments/replies pretty carefully and did not see that OP stated what breed his dog was.

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Anony Mouse
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He must not have looked too hard if he didn't find the dog at the pound. I spent weeks trying to locate the owner of a cat that turned up at my door. The owners had been searching for two months and were finally reunited. All his other excuses... He just sounds like a roll of paper towels instead of a man. Things just happen to him and it's too hard for him to fix any of it. He just stays still and complains. Of course the wife is awful, but apparently she knows he's not going to do anything about it.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"He just sounds like a roll of paper towels instead of a man." Wow, bizarre misandry much? What the hell does that even mean? What do you WANT him to do? He has children that he loves and doesn't want to just break his home in an instant if he's being too emotional about his dog - which is why he is asking for advice. Also - depending on his dog's breed, she may have been euthanized 24hrs after intake, or immediately upon intake if she acted "aggressive" (i.e., scared) towards the staff. So he may have checked the pound, but his dog was already dead. Or perhaps his wife and her father drove the dog to a pound an hour away/outside of their living area, and OP didn't think to look there. What a heartless person you are towards OP's pain and indecision.

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Hannah Taylor
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get all the ESH and YTA comments. What OP'S wife did was just plain malicious. Getting rid of his dog, and lying about it, isn't the behavior of someone afraid of dogs. It's the act of an unfeeling human being. I don't blame OP for being angry. How would she feel if he should take something of hers, that had sentimental value, and donated it to a homeless shelter, simply because "it made him nervous"? Hoo boy, wouldn't everybody be up in arms about THAT!

Sunny Day
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you worry a pet is dangerous and shouldn't be around children - then don't have children until the pet passes away. OP had the dog for several years; she would only live maybe 5 more years. And if baby happens and partner refuses to rehome pet - then YOU leave with the baby.

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Amy Smith
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex partner gave my Axolotl away without telling me or giving me a chance to collect her. I will never know what she did with her. Admittedly, not quite the same as a dog but still an animal I loved and was in my care. I will NEVER forgive her for it. There is no way OP is TA here. This is wrong. Divorce her mate

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother got rid of my childhood dog when I was 8 or 9, and got rid of my iguana a year later. I'm 42 now and I still have not forgiven her for either incident. I am so sorry you don't know what happened to your axolotl. I hope she ended up in a good home. Pets are our beloved family members regardless of their species. <3

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Anna Ekberg
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah i don't see him divorcing the wife, where would he go? How would he manage? I do see this marriage crumble though, killed by resentment, distrust and other bad feelings.

Jon Steensen
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

..a studio appartment. Yeah it may be a downgrade, but it is still better than staying with a woman you can't trust, and it is better for the children being with a happy farther half of the time, than picking up on their farther's resent for his partner all the time.

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Elvira394
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a cat person my whole life. I tried dogs couldn't handle it. Plus then I had kids (I'm also female). Five years ago my husband brought home a gigantic Labrador puppy. I told him that's fine, but that's his responsibility I ain't touching it I don't know how to take care of a dog. Five years later... The three boys in my home can barely remember the dogs name and he is my best friend and I trust him with my daughter's life more than I trust most human beings and even my husband with my daughters life.

ZGutr
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP want it both ways. At one hand, the house, kids & wife on the other hand, the dog event is unforgivable. Getting a dog would just make things worse. She'll hate it, He will never be at rest when not at home. ...... a choices has to be made: Either forgive and move on, OR get out and leave.

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What other lie has she been telling. And if she is SAHM then time for her to get a job because he needs to move out (and get another dog) rather than stay there and create a toxic environment for the kids.

sharyn turnicky
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Time to rehome wife back to parents. Would not be able to trust them again because of their shared values or lack of

LaserBrain
Community Member
5 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

Susie Elle
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the wife did was awful and treacherous. That said, I want to address that even a 'not aggressive' dog can come after a baby. Be cautious.

sturmwesen
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why you don't leave them alone together and might get help to make sure you introduce them properly and read the dog correctly.

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Moira Munguia
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP says he checked at the dog shelters. She didn't take it to a shelter, she outright had it euthanised, hopefully at a reputable vets. He shouldn't inflict her on another dog Hopefully she isn't as cold blooded with their kids

Janet Graham
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think a Stay-at-home Mother of 3 kids under 5 is too busy to deal with a dog. It would be different if the original dog had been able to grow up with the kids and learn how to deal with them. But even a Golden Retriever could snap if she was being mauled by 2 or 3 little kids at the same time. Do not do that to her, the kids, or the dog. If the marriage survives, the kids could get a dog when the youngest is 5 or older. If the marriage does not survive, you need to get your life together and the kids stable before adding a dog to the mix. I think you should try couples counseling. She may have had issues with the dog and you did not listen when she told you.

Aelin Wildfire
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she's willing to give up the dog and let it die, what could she do to the children? And if all he can afford is a studio apartment, he'll never get custody, but that means LEAVING the kids with the woman who did that (and probably also with her parents, who encouraged and enabled it). Maybe he's staying to -protect- the kids?

Granny's Thoughts
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd have moved out that same day. Why woul d anyone stay married to such a cruel selfish woman.

Ron
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce her. Let her have the kids! Get a new place and a new dog! I'll bet the kids will want to spend more time with you and the dog than they will with her. And don't forget to tell them what their mother did!!

Andy Frobig
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The "we get a dog or else" ultimatum is a non starter. It seems to me the wife must have known the dog for a long time, the whole time they were dating and engaged. Who knows when she started thinking up this scheme. She could have made her case for why the dog had to go, and given the husband some input on where. The malice and duplicity aren't things you come back from. Starting over alone is tough, but people do it every day, and it's the right thing to do here

Zach Bigalke
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anon can go eat s**t with that "the mother knows best" nonsense.

Daniel VanHoorne
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can’t suggest you invite the father in law over and punch each or them in the mouth a couple of times - that would be wrong- but if it happened I’d probably be fine with that.

Donna Peluda
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't Imagen what I would do, just to think of the suffering the dog went through being separated from the people he loved. I could never forgive. If it wasn't for the 3 kids I'd be in the news. Just the thought of it makes me sick.

Just stopping by
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have to leave. I would never ever be able to be around her again much less trust the cow. My dog is my baby and we're a package deal. Her knowing how he felt about the fur baby, watching him mourn and showing no remorse in the slightest. Nope. I would have to get out of there before I chose violence.

Ken Schroeder
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she did that to me, divorce would be the least of her worries. Long-time pets are family. Imagine coming home to find your new wife sent your daughter off for adoption...

Jaime Borris
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i would be getting DNA test done on those kids. if she lied about the dog she might be lying about the kids too. leave her asap with the kids if they are yours. if shes a SAHM then she needs to get a job. get her away from the kids as much as possible before one of them turns up 'missing'. if shes willing to abuse an animal chances are she'll abuse the kids

Your Mom
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a confirmed animal abuser and OP wants to get another dog with her? Definitely an AH move. People like to forget that these kind of things are not about a dog. It's about she doesn't respect him, she made something wrong for him on purpose, and she was lying to him about a very important matter for years. She doesn't respect his feelings. Surely she has the upper hand, she knows he can't do anything because her parents own the house, they have 3 children together and stuff. So literally this man is living in an abusive relationship.

Crazy boi 678
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA that dog wasn’t just your property by law it sounds like they were a genuine help in any tough times you had

Evion Soreso
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His wife did something absolutely disgusting and inexcusable. I would loathe my partner if they ever did that to me. A pet is literally family and my heart breaks for that poor dog who probably spent the last years of its life alone wondering what it did wrong.

millac
Community Member
5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, pregnant women developing a sudden and urgent negative avoidance of animals is a very well known and documented thing. Happens a lot. It's a hormone driven instinctual thing that is extremely difficult to counter because so many brain and pregnancy chemicals are in the driving seat, reinforcing it. It tends to chill out....once the kid is out of infancy. That's a really, reaaaally long time for her to be super uncomfortable and paranoid in her own home. New pet allergies are also a fun thing pregnant people get, which may not go away. Waiting it out and speaking with a therapist about the new fears and methods to handle them can help (though not with allergies). But, and this is a HUGE but, the issue often switches from her wanting to get rid of the dog/ cat she was previously perfectly fine with, which hubby sees as a betrayal....to her viewing her spouse as a bad partner who has chosen an animal over both her and their newborn. So he is therefore unworthy of having either and cannot be trusted to meet either's emotional, physical, or basic safety needs.

millac
Community Member
5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husbands who find themselves in this s****y situation that's just the universe wrecking a good thing for no reason, need to be very careful to listen, acknowledge, and address a pregnant wife's concerns in a fair and balanced way that makes her feel like she's being heard and understood. No calling her crazy, outright refusing to do anything, or thinking that the dog existing before the kid is worth anything. Or those husbands will find themselves transformed into an enemy the new mom views as a danger to her kid, and she'll do stuff like disengage from the discussion to get rid of the pet behind his back and remove what she views as a major threat without him. Offering stuff like behavior training, writing out an official plan to introduce the dog and keep baby safe, transitioning the dog to outside, and acknowledging that if the dog does x, y, or z things, it will need to be rehomed and you will follow through on that, are all things which would go a long way to getting both people what they want: keeping the pet and feeling safe. Though, if it's allergies, you're effed and your hands are tied.

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Jon Steensen
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"All I can affort is a studio appartment"... well then it will be a studio appartment for you then. A dog is a member of the family, not a toy you can discard if you don't like it. The woman knew he had that dog, and yet she chose to become pregnant without dealing with that "issue" first? Plain stupidity. She has shown that she can't be trusted, and that she will hurt him and lie about it to get it her way. That relationship is dead, and now he has to do the best he can with the cards he is dealt. Don't stay in a dead relationship for the sake of the children, having two happy parents who lives apart is better than having couple of parents who lives togheter but is incompatible and can't stand each other. ...and then get a dog. They are more honest and faithful than most humans.

Aelin Wildfire
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But that means leaving the kids with the woman who decided to give up a family pet with the full knowledge that it would probably be euthanized. What might she do to the kids later on? What might her parents do to them? I think staying to protect the kids in this particular case is the lesser of two evils (at least, according to what we're being told here - there's always something that doesn't get said).... But under no circumstances should he try to bring another dog around that woman.

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MR
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F those who call him an AH for anything other than staying with her. I don't care who ends up with primary custody, he should want nothing to do with her beyond their kids. His dog is the equilivent of his child and she had so little contempt for his child that she actively ditch his child and lied about it for years.

Kate Johnson
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if I couldn't "leave", I would make sure my wife knew that I no longer trusted her word or her parents word on anything and would need regular verification that she was telling the truth. I would remind her that "now I KNOW" about your penchant for lying to get your way and I won't be forgetting it. I would also make sure my children knew what she did, because I wouldn't want them to trust her too much. Who knows what she will do in the future??

Reta Murphy
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It has been over 4 years? Wonder what happened? I would have tried to file charges against parents and her for stealing.

Steve Hall
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will not take sides on this arguement, but just because the dog was trained doesn't mean the baby was.

FluffyDreg
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will take sides because getting rid of yiur partners dog and lying about it is NEVER okay. Of you really dont trust their dig and they wint get rid of it? Break up.

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D 4
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Find yourself a dog loving lady and some self respect .She doesn't love you ,nobody who loves a man does that to him .I'd rather live in a cardboard box than with someone who treat me like that .That was pure evil .Good luck mate

Coffeemama05
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If my husband got rid of my cat- he’d be gone. My cat is my baby. I’d pick my cat over my husband

Mel West
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It doesn't matter how long after finding out a partner done this it is unforgivable and the trust is lost. I had both my children 2 dogs 2 cats and a few reptiles to look after our rottie and cockapoo where amazing around our children . A pet is for life and for them to go behind his back and lie for years is disgusting. You can never get that trust back and having the in laws involved too I'm sorry I'd remove myself from this and co parent my children I hope he done the right thing as resenting your partner will never go away

Teddy O'Malley
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't believe anybody would vote YTA on this. What she did was a huge betrayal. I would file for divorce and live in an attic if I had to.

Hilary Rost
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He does say that it was a potentially dangerous breed. Both he and his wife need to compromise. His wife should accept that they will have a dog in the future. They should wait until the youngest child is not needing the constant attention that babies do and settle on a firm date for this. They should choose a breed which is not regarded as unreliable and the children should be involved with choosing and looking after the puppy which should be a family dog and not his personal pet. Having a dog is very good for children and learning about keeping an animal helps their development.

Rocket Scientist
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like all the ESH and YTA comments are focused on him wanting to bring another dog into the situation, possibly endangering the dog. Personally, it sounds to me like he’s using the new dog as a weapon. He didn’t get another dog for 5 years because “the kids take a lot of energy and time.” Now he finds out the truth and suddenly he’s insisting on getting a new dog. Do the kids suddenly need less time and energy? No? Then he doesn’t care about the well-being of the animal. He doesn’t want a pet to love, he wants a weapon to use against his wife. What do you want to bet he’d get another “aggressive” breed, just for spite? This marriage needs a divorce, not a dog.

Mike m
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If i was the parents (who owned the house), i would have gave him an ultimatum. You can move out and keep your dog or stay here with no dog. The fact they owned the house could have made this so much easier. He would have move out with the dog, problem solved.

Melissa anderson
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kick that b***h to the curb and get custody of those kids. The wife is a psycho and doesn’t give a damn about her husband.

weatherwitch
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her actions were malicious. However I note he uses inverted commas to state "aggressive breed" as though he does not agree with the legal classification. Those dogs in particular, ANY dogs can turn and tear a child or adult apart. A crying baby is known to be a trigger. Surely his beloved dog was microchipped like All responsible owners do? Or is the law in many countries. Why didn't a shelter contact him if the dog had been turned in but found to be chipped. O I get the impression he likely was more irresponsible than he realised and the dog because of his inability to train it properly, became a risk to the newborn coming. She's the SAHM mum in her own property. I bet she'd be responsible for the dog and the following three children too... What she did was horrible, but if he thinks the dog would have been euthanized because of its breed, does he Really think it was safe around wee bairns??

FluffyDreg
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because "aggressive breeds" is complete and utter BS. Chihuahuas are highly aggressive but not on that list. Or German Shepards! Those dogs can also be VERY aggressive... but they aren't on any list. Also a dog being microchipped wouldnt matter? They weren't lost, they were surrendered. A shelter isn't going to really think much about it? The dog was never lost and found, but """legally""" given up. Theres no indication of irresponsible behaviour or training.

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Deborah B
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The wife was unquestionably in the wrong for surrendering the dog and lying about it. She shoud have stood her ground 5 years ago, and told the husband to rehome his dangerous breed, or move out with it. Yeah, his dog was "trained" and "dangerous breeds" are often wonderful friendly dogs.... but. But, his wife obiously didn't feel safe or in control of the dog. But, we've all heard the very many stories of the 'well trained, friendly, great with the kids' dogs and the small children who get maimed or killed by them. But, his "trained" dog "ran away" and he didn't question that it would, so clearly, not an obedient and well controlled dog. But, he didn't take his wife's concerns, and comfort seriously, which suggests that he's not a responsible dog-owner. Dumping the dog on a shelter instead of properly rehoming it makes her an a*****e. He's an a*****e for not managing the situation of his wife feeling unsafe having his dangerous breed around a new baby.

Kabuki Kitsune
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For those curious, the ESH and YTA comments came out of two specific things that turned up in review of the post. First, when referring to their own flesh and blood, IE their child, they simply said 'the baby'. There was little to any care for their baby, or its potential safety due to a known aggressive breed of dog. When speaking of the dog in question though, OP said "my BABY" painting a picture both in the comments, and the post that the dog was more important to them than their own child. The second thing which came out, is the dog was a pitbull, and it was implied that due to its aggressive nature, the dog was destroyed by the pound. It was also implied that this action was taken due to city regulations that limit conditions in which such a breed may be owned. Multiple cities have outrignt bans on ownership of the animals, and will automatically euthanize them if the animals are surrendered or seized.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, get over yourself about that first part. That's B.S. OP referred to the human child as "the baby" because, you know, it HADN'T BEEN BORN YET, so it IS "the baby". His dog had already been with him for years at that point and WAS his "baby". He didn't mean it literally. I call my younger cat my "baby boy". He's not my baby. He's not even a baby cat any more (he's 3.) You going to call me an AH because I call my cat my baby? I'd also love to see where you saw that it "came out" that the dog was a pit bull and that it was definitively destroyed by the pound, as I picked over that post and the comments/replies pretty carefully and did not see that OP stated what breed his dog was.

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Anony Mouse
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He must not have looked too hard if he didn't find the dog at the pound. I spent weeks trying to locate the owner of a cat that turned up at my door. The owners had been searching for two months and were finally reunited. All his other excuses... He just sounds like a roll of paper towels instead of a man. Things just happen to him and it's too hard for him to fix any of it. He just stays still and complains. Of course the wife is awful, but apparently she knows he's not going to do anything about it.

LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"He just sounds like a roll of paper towels instead of a man." Wow, bizarre misandry much? What the hell does that even mean? What do you WANT him to do? He has children that he loves and doesn't want to just break his home in an instant if he's being too emotional about his dog - which is why he is asking for advice. Also - depending on his dog's breed, she may have been euthanized 24hrs after intake, or immediately upon intake if she acted "aggressive" (i.e., scared) towards the staff. So he may have checked the pound, but his dog was already dead. Or perhaps his wife and her father drove the dog to a pound an hour away/outside of their living area, and OP didn't think to look there. What a heartless person you are towards OP's pain and indecision.

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