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“Your Friend Fund Is Stupid”: Man Asks Wife To Break A Promise To Friends, Wonders If He’s A Jerk
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“Your Friend Fund Is Stupid”: Man Asks Wife To Break A Promise To Friends, Wonders If He’s A Jerk

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It’s no secret that buying a home—now, arguably more than ever—might call for a person’s entire life savings. But those who have their mind set on buying a dwelling have likely made their peace with that.

This redditor seemingly did; however, he didn’t find it fair that while he was planning to invest nearly all of his money into their home, his wife had $20k set aside that she refused to contribute, all because of a promise she had made to a group of friends. Scroll down to find the full story below.

Looking for a forever home together can be an exciting chapter in a couple’s life

Image credits: Lucas Pezeta / Pexels (not the actual photo)

This husband was looking forward to buying a home with his wife, but it quickly got complicated

Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Artistic_Hippo4827

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The housing market is nowhere nearly the same as it was decades ago

If you have checked the state of the housing market lately, you probably noticed that it’s far from what your grandparents saw back when they were buying a home (for probably around $300 and five grapes). Nowadays, the price for a home is way different than several decades ago, and the situation does not seem to be any brighter in the near future.

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Comparing how prices of homes have changed overtime, Statista found that in the 1970s, for instance, the average sales price of new homes in the US was somewhere around $21k. Some 50 years later, though, in 2022, it was roughly $540k.

Posing the question when will home prices be affordable again, Forbes pointed out that while the mortgage rates have been seemingly going down, dwelling prices are still at record heights, out of reach for many. “The upward pressure on home prices is making this the most unaffordable housing market in history,” the chief economist at Bright MLS, Lisa Sturtevant, told Forbes.

The OP shared that the kind of house that he and his wife were looking for required somewhere around $60-70k for a downpayment. And while he was willing to put nearly all of his savings into the downpayment, his significant other said she didn’t want to touch the money she had set aside in the friends’ combined savings account.

Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)

When handling household finances, it’s important to be a team

Situations like the one the OP found himself in only emphasize the importance of making sure that you and your partner are on the same page regarding financial matters. According to the American Psychological Association, not all couples sit down to discuss finances thoroughly. But luckily, it’s never too late to do it. Said source suggests that some good questions to start the conversation off include inquiring from your partner about what their parents taught them about money, what their financial goals were, and what their fears about money were.

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According to APA, it’s also important to be a team; whatever that means to you. For some people, being a team entails splitting everything 50/50, for others, it’s taking turns covering certain expenses for a certain period of time. There seem to be plenty of ways to share the load—be it finances, chores, or walking the dog, for that matter—it’s important to find one that works for both partners, in order for it not to take a toll on the relationship.

Unsurprisingly, financial matters is something quite a few couples disagree on or even fight about, which rarely ever makes the relationship any better. But it wasn’t only the couple that found themselves fostering differing views towards handling money; fellow netizens, too, seemingly had different opinions, which they shared in the comments under the post.

Most netizens didn’t think the husband was being a jerk in the situation

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Others shared a different perspective on things

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Miglė Miliūtė

Miglė Miliūtė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

Read less »
Miglė Miliūtė

Miglė Miliūtė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

Read less »

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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otakugirl08x avatar
Melissa Harris
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd put $20 on her not being able to withdraw that money since it's in someone else's account. She doesn't want to admit to the OP she's essentially given away 20K to a friend and has no savings.

toriohno avatar
tori Ohno
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what I'm afraid of. He has no right to demand she hand over her money, but can she actually get to it? It's a dumb way to save money, but it's HER money, and he has no right to demand it. They should save up money together, or get a zero down mortgage like my husband and I did

Load More Replies...
hodgeelmwood avatar
Hodge Elmwood
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People. Listen to me. Look up NACA (Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America). You DO NOT NEED to pony up $60-70K down payment for a house! NACA's program rolls the down payment into the mortgage, AND they usually get an interest rate that is one percent below whatever the current market rate is. No, I don't work for them, but I am a homeowner since 2004 ONLY because of their program. I'm coming up on my 20-year anniversary of owning my house and it never would've been possible without their program. Look it up! It could save you thousands and get you into a house sooner.

lmm-kuiper avatar
Sanne
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every time I read stories like this I'm still surprised how couples handle their finances. You're supposed to be ONE. Everything that is his is hers and hers is his, but somehow people keep splitting up bills and savings and income and it always ends in fights. We have one account where both our money goes into. All bills are paid from there. All hobbies are paid from there. All savings come from there. There is no 'my money' or 'his money'. When we make big purchases, we talk it over and decide together if it's something we should and can do. We never had a fight about money. And if we ever split up, we just get our own bank account where our salary is deposited and split the savings account. I can understand when one person brings in a lot of savings from before the relationship that you'd keep that separate, but everything since getting together is just one.

trent-m-perry avatar
Lost Panda
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree on the whole our money, but my wife and I still have our own money. Everything gets paid, then the things for the kids and things for the family, and what is left over goes to the earner. I throw a little extra as I don't usually need/want for much and do make the higher wage, but yeah there still needs to be *some* independence, even if it is $50 a month.

Load More Replies...
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otakugirl08x avatar
Melissa Harris
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd put $20 on her not being able to withdraw that money since it's in someone else's account. She doesn't want to admit to the OP she's essentially given away 20K to a friend and has no savings.

toriohno avatar
tori Ohno
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what I'm afraid of. He has no right to demand she hand over her money, but can she actually get to it? It's a dumb way to save money, but it's HER money, and he has no right to demand it. They should save up money together, or get a zero down mortgage like my husband and I did

Load More Replies...
hodgeelmwood avatar
Hodge Elmwood
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People. Listen to me. Look up NACA (Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America). You DO NOT NEED to pony up $60-70K down payment for a house! NACA's program rolls the down payment into the mortgage, AND they usually get an interest rate that is one percent below whatever the current market rate is. No, I don't work for them, but I am a homeowner since 2004 ONLY because of their program. I'm coming up on my 20-year anniversary of owning my house and it never would've been possible without their program. Look it up! It could save you thousands and get you into a house sooner.

lmm-kuiper avatar
Sanne
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every time I read stories like this I'm still surprised how couples handle their finances. You're supposed to be ONE. Everything that is his is hers and hers is his, but somehow people keep splitting up bills and savings and income and it always ends in fights. We have one account where both our money goes into. All bills are paid from there. All hobbies are paid from there. All savings come from there. There is no 'my money' or 'his money'. When we make big purchases, we talk it over and decide together if it's something we should and can do. We never had a fight about money. And if we ever split up, we just get our own bank account where our salary is deposited and split the savings account. I can understand when one person brings in a lot of savings from before the relationship that you'd keep that separate, but everything since getting together is just one.

trent-m-perry avatar
Lost Panda
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree on the whole our money, but my wife and I still have our own money. Everything gets paid, then the things for the kids and things for the family, and what is left over goes to the earner. I throw a little extra as I don't usually need/want for much and do make the higher wage, but yeah there still needs to be *some* independence, even if it is $50 a month.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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