Exactly!

You, that's how I was raised. Yet I've been leiving in San Antonio, TX for the planned 20 years and I've learnt to tell people who invite me out, "oh I can't make it, I do not have enough funds to.attend", because in more than one occasion that I've been invited to a gathering and believed I was covered for my meal, it turned out I wasn't. Not sure if it's a Texas thing or what... very strange.

*capable of posting all our problems on the internet

It does not have to be black and white. Two partners have an account each to which they receive their salary and and a 3rd for bills, rent, mortgage, eating out cinema... It is important to be financially independent to some degree in case something happens (doesn't have to be separation, any event where one partner is suddenly no longer legally competend, but certain monetary decision or transactions still need the two parties).

That’s an unfair thing to say. Two people who are committed to their life together can simultaneously maintain some of their own independence as well. My husband and I don’t share finances. We have separate bank accounts, credit card accounts, etc. we use my savings account that I had before we got married as our “joint” saving’s account that we use for home repairs and vacations and things, and we split the mortgage and home bills right down the middle. For us, it works very well. We make almost the same, so neither of us is getting the short end of the stick. We discuss any big purchases with each other even if we use our own money, because we value each other’s opinions. I think the key maturity and transparency. I never have to feel guilty if i treat myself to something!

My husband and I have been together for 30 years and our finances are separate. Of course, he would never put me in a situation like that and we do loan each other money when needed - neither one of us would let the other go without. I pay some bills and he pays others. We each can do whatever we want with what is left over. We have never argued about finances in at least 20 years. Also, he's 16 years older than I am and we knew each other for 3 months before getting married, so I guess nothing about our relationship was supposed to last.

Well people who are happy with their lives don't post on AITA now do they. Seriously, most people only write stuff on the internet to complain. It goves a very very skewed view of how people live and what "everyone" thinks is normal and/or accepable. I've worked with people and their finances for many years and I can assure you, most people make that work perfectly

My husband and I also have a joint account for family expenses and separate finances for each of our own personal expenses, like things we don't need but want for ourselves. We decide together what kinds of things are from which pot of money, and how much we are allotted personally each month for our own use. We love it, and it works for us because needs are not fought over, and we each get to use our own bit for whatever without feeling like we have to worry or feel guilty or whatever. Every couple must agree together on what works for them. Sometimes you might need to adjust it a bit, or get down and discuss with full honesty where the priorities and expectations lie and both parties might need to compromise if it's going to work out.

Disagree. I've been with my partner for ten years. We put 50% of our finances into a shared acct and it works wonderfully. It covers all our bills, rent, vacations..etc.

I agree. I think that people should keep their separate bank accounts because of independence and salary differences. But a commited couple needs to have at least a joined account. It gets ridiculous to talk about who is paying the groceries this week.

We have two joint accounts: one I use the majority of the time and one he uses the majority of the time. He gives me a portion of his check whenever he gets paid. I use my account to pay the household bills. He uses his account for stuff he buys and I use my account for stuff I buy. Works for us.

Me and my partners finances are separate but we discuss what needs to be done they pay xyz, I pay abc but if I have an issue with something I speak up and we devise a plan. I admit they are not good at the speaking up if they have a problem because of their pride but we’re working on that.

I don't know, my husband and I have separate finances- I have two sons I share custody of and when they're with my ex, I send child support money, which I don't think is fair to have my husband pay. Plus, we base it off who makes more (he does) and so I pay for things like groceries, internet, streaming, etc. Works for us

My Partner and i are together for nearly half of our lifes now and lived together for that amount of time exept for one year. We both have our own money and pay our Bills together. But not 50/50. It is orientated on our income. Very simple, absolute fair and we have both the freedom to buy with our own money, whatever we want. The only Times when an argument could come up is, when the stuff, someone wants to buy, would take much space. Because we Share this space.

We keep our finances separate. But we fight to pay. Doing something for the other person is what we fight to do. It became kind of a game. I pay I win. I do the dishes I win. We are very happy together.

I’ve been with my wife for 13 years. We’ve never bothered to combine finances and still continue to split all bills 50/50.

I disagree. Sure, it's nice if everything is shared, but doesn't have to be. Most marriage arguments are about finances anyways. Maybe you live in an odd place, because I know several long term married couples who have independent finances. Should you share underwear with your partner too? You said every part.

Totally agree. If you are in a marriage and you can’t trust your spouse to combine your $$ there’s a bigger issue. Everything we have, house, money, cars, our family, is OURS not his and hers. That is for roommates not spouses.

I feel like uniting finances could be a bad idea just in case it doesn't work out or the spouse turns out to be abusive. If they take control of the money then you can't leave. If I'm going to be with someone I want my own source of money, and if they love me then they'll understand and be okay with that.

That's not true.

Yes it does work. It is quite easy. Simply pay half the rent and anything else that is common to your both. And when your husband dies, you have your own money, when his bank account is locked.

Nah dude no way. I'd NEVER intertwine all my finances with my husband. That's how u end up in a cycle of abuse you cant get out of if the guy ends up being even remotely abusive or cruel and 90% of guys ive dated were plus tons of people end up being that way after yrs of marriage. If u wanna have a small amount of shared money 4 household expenses then that's fine but 4 the most part id never share. Not that it matters, ive been broke my entire adult life anyway even when I was making over twice the min wage cuz NJ housing costs r insane and a studio apt is like $1200 a mnth but yea if I had any $$ id never let any1 touch it. Wen I did have $$ like a tax return id love spending it on my bf anyway so if he still complained id kno he was just greedy

I live a positive story like this. We do not mix finances. It works, I promise.

Screams I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE MONEY

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HE INVITED HIS FAMILY NOT JUST PEOPLE.

He should have brought it up long before leaving the house. He should have brought it up before making the invitations—-hell, before even planning the whole damned thing! Especially considering the fact that he didn’t even have the bonus money securely in hand yet. So he’s the one who jumped the gun on celebrating. I’m 61, and have been working since I was 19. In my 42 years’ experience with both full and part time employment (sometimes a combination of both when I needed extra cash), I can’t tell you how many promised bonuses (sometimes my own, sometimes my coworkers’) I know of that ended up being way less than the promised amount, how many bonus checks I know of that bounced, and how many bonus checks I know of that never materialized. I’ve even personally had a boss, from one of my extra part time jobs, go out of town and f*****g FORGET to PAY his employees that Friday!!! If it can happen with a paycheck, it sure as hell can happen with a bonus.

The reason he didn't is because he *knew* she would shoot it down. This jerk needs to bake longer

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tell us you don’t know what a narcissist is without saying you don’t know what a narcissist is.