“He Wants A Divorce”: Gamer Husband Lashes Out At Wife For Pausing His Game So He Would Bathe The Baby
Ideally, all couples would behave like a team when it came to overcoming tough challenges. If you view yourselves as a cohesive unit with the same goals, you’re likely to see life from the perspective of you vs. whatever problems dare pop up in your path, rather than both of you vs. each other. However, this means putting a lot of effort into communicating often and clearly, lending a helping hand when it comes to chores, and looking for compromises even when you’d rather not.
And when it comes to parenting, you have to learn to sacrifice quite a bit of the time you spend relaxing and on your hobbies. Because there’s only one priority: taking care of your kids before you even think of taking care of yourself. Parenting is extremely rewarding. But nobody is going to pretend that it isn’t tough. And a large part of being good at raising kids is wanting to have them in the first place.
One redditor turned to the AITA online community for advice after an argument over video games with her husband got out of hand. She asked the members of the subreddit if she was wrong to pause her partner’s game because he hadn’t given their baby a bath on time. You’ll find the full story, as well as the internet’s reaction to it, below.
A common problem for couples everywhere is the unequal division of chores, including childcare. Dividing up responsibilities is a sign of mutual respect
Image credits: pavelkraus (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how her husband kept putting off giving the baby a bath because he was playing video games. She paused his game. Here’s what happened next
Image credits: Axville (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
The author of the post shared some sensitive details about her relationship with her husband
It was easy to feel the mom’s deep frustration as we read her post. You probably felt it too, Pandas. She does the absolute majority of the childcare at home. She’s also responsible for basically all of the chores, too.
Meanwhile, the OP suggested that her husband may need someone to pick up after him and that he spends far too much time on his leisurely pursuits than his family responsibilities. It seems like his main priority is gaming, rather than anything else. He appears to be more than happy to offload everything on his wife.
The argument came to a head when the husband wanted to put off bathing their baby until he was finished playing video games. His wife paused the internet, but this caused him to flip out. He then threatened his wife and tried to make her out as the villain in the story, calling her lazy. Obviously, these aren’t the signs of a healthy and happy relationship. There are clearly some very deep-rooted issues here.
Solving those will probably take a lot of time and effort on the couple’s part. It’ll mean learning to communicate openly and honestly, on a consistent basis. It’ll mean dividing up the housework in order to support each other. And it’ll mean navigating arguments calmly, instead of going into full-on attack mode.
Reaching out to a couples’ therapist might actually be a good idea in emotionally-charged situations like this one. Some people might shy away from reaching out to counselors, but it’s vital to set one’s ego aside and ask for help when you need it. You and your family’s long-term health and happiness are at stake, after all. However, if there’s no progress, no support, and no sense of effort from one side of the relationship, divorce may be the only avenue left, moving forward.
We’ve written on Bored Panda before about how parents have to make their kids and partner their priority. If that doesn’t happen, the emotional distance between everyone will depend, as they look for love and attention elsewhere. In other words, the family unit begins to fracture and fall apart. The antidote to that is spending quality time together.
And, yes, this means spending far less time on your console, computer, and phone. You have to be present when interacting with your loved ones. It’s a question of priorities, as well as managing to find the energy to play with your kids and do the necessary chores when you’re exhausted and not in the mood. Nobody said being adult was all digital sunshine and technocolor rainbows. But it doesn’t have to be misery and pain all the time, either.
What advice would you give the mom, dear Pandas? What tips and tricks would you give new parents when it comes to dealing with stress and exhaustion? Share your thoughts in the comments.
This isn’t the first time that Bored Panda has covered a story about video games interfering with childcare. If you’d like to read a similar tale, check out our earlier article right over here.
Most readers were utterly appalled by how the husband treated his wife. Here’s what they had to say about the entire situation
Please do not go to a couples therapist in an abusive situation. They can easily be manipulated by the abusive partner and wind up becoming part of the problem. I don't mean that they are bad at their job, just that their job is specifically to encourage compromise and staying together. You can't compromise with abuse.
Yeah, she needs counselling because being in an environment like that will mess up your head, but he should not be part of it.
Load More Replies...Worst is the woman actually wondering IF she's the AH .... Makes me want to hit something bc the father is a controlling abusive idiot and she is starting to believe the sh!t he calls her too. Maaaan. The baby will be better off without the father in his life as fathers have many things to teach his children but this one obviously has nothing !
yeah, I'm pretty much trying to calm down after reading this.
Load More Replies...I think his threat of having control over where your son can live is just a threat. Definitely talk with a lawyer who understands divorce and the military.
Also, a general comment based on experience: Seeing just a legal mediator to figure out a divorce sounds like a nice idea, but I don't recommend just doing that. A friend of mine did, and she was so anxious to compromise, that she agreed to some things that hurt her in the end. In my divorce, my ex and I each had a lawyer, and together the four of us went to a mediator. This way, I always had someone knowledgeable looking out for my interests as we negotiated. This may or may not apply to the OP's situation, but if you're getting a divorce, I highly recommend it. It wasn't immediately clear to me that this was even an option - definitely the way to go!
Load More Replies...Please do not go to a couples therapist in an abusive situation. They can easily be manipulated by the abusive partner and wind up becoming part of the problem. I don't mean that they are bad at their job, just that their job is specifically to encourage compromise and staying together. You can't compromise with abuse.
Yeah, she needs counselling because being in an environment like that will mess up your head, but he should not be part of it.
Load More Replies...Worst is the woman actually wondering IF she's the AH .... Makes me want to hit something bc the father is a controlling abusive idiot and she is starting to believe the sh!t he calls her too. Maaaan. The baby will be better off without the father in his life as fathers have many things to teach his children but this one obviously has nothing !
yeah, I'm pretty much trying to calm down after reading this.
Load More Replies...I think his threat of having control over where your son can live is just a threat. Definitely talk with a lawyer who understands divorce and the military.
Also, a general comment based on experience: Seeing just a legal mediator to figure out a divorce sounds like a nice idea, but I don't recommend just doing that. A friend of mine did, and she was so anxious to compromise, that she agreed to some things that hurt her in the end. In my divorce, my ex and I each had a lawyer, and together the four of us went to a mediator. This way, I always had someone knowledgeable looking out for my interests as we negotiated. This may or may not apply to the OP's situation, but if you're getting a divorce, I highly recommend it. It wasn't immediately clear to me that this was even an option - definitely the way to go!
Load More Replies...
91
173