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Tired Of Her Husband’s Laziness, Woman Takes A Vacation To Make Him Realize How Much She Does
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Tired Of Her Husband’s Laziness, Woman Takes A Vacation To Make Him Realize How Much She Does

Woman Takes A 4-Day Vacation Without Any Notice To Teach Her Husband What “I Need More Help” Really MeansTired Of Her Husband’s Laziness, Woman Takes A Vacation To Make Him Realize How Much She DoesWoman Takes A Surprise Solo Vacation To Show Her Husband What Lazy Husband Is Mad At Wife Who Took A Vacation Without Notice Leaving All The Duties To Him For 4 DaysIgnorant Husband Disregards Wife's Stress And Exhaustion, She Takes A Solo Vacation Leaving Him With All The DutiesWoman Takes Herself On A Solo Vacation When Her Husband Wouldn't Offer More Help Around The HouseMom Takes A Surprise Solo Vacation To Get Back At Her Husband For Not Helping Out Around The HouseHusband Is Mad That Wife Took A Surprise Solo Vacation To Teach Him What 'I Need More Help' Really MeansOverworked Mom Takes A Solo Vacation Without Telling Her Husband To Get Back At Him For Not Doing Household ChoresMom Is Tired Of Asking Husband To Help Around The House More, Decides To Get Back At Him By Taking A Surprise Vacation
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Raising a family is a difficult task. Trying to juggle work, chores, looking after the kids and much, much more takes a lot of time and effort. So, it’s important for parents to work together and share the load. But what happens when this isn’t the case?

Recently, u/71910sj101 on Reddit shared her experience of feeling like a single parent despite being married and living with her husband. Although he was taking on the role of a father well before, he started making excuses and shirking his responsibilities in the household. Saying he was “too tired” to help her do anything meant she had to do double duties instead, leaving her feeling twice as exhausted.

Finally reaching her breaking point, she decided a solo vacation was needed to recover and let her husband get on with it for a change. She made her arrangements and took a break without telling him beforehand.

If she wanted a reaction from him, she got it. But after hearing his side of the story, she wondered if this was the right thing to do or if it was necessary to send a message. Read on for the story and decide for yourself.

Image credits: tommaso79 (not the actual photo)

Whether it’s being overworked, unappreciated or probably both, it’s sadly an all too familiar scenario for moms. Many feel the same way and would also act out accordingly in this situation.

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Nancy Colier, a psychotherapist and mindfulness teacher, confirms this. She said, “What’s most remarkable is the fact that (from my research) most moms feel unappreciated. Moms from all walks of life describe feeling unacknowledged and unseen for what they do and are for their families.”

She goes on to explain the psychology behind it: “As human beings, we all long to be appreciated, to have our goodness seen, our positive intentions and efforts recognized. We want to be known and valued for what we do that’s helpful. To want and need appreciation is a primal human longing.”

A busy mom shares her story of why she needed a solo vacation

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Not to mention, the mom in this story explains just how exhausted she was with doing all the housework whilst also doing her usual day job.

Many others have also had to adjust to new ways of managing their life whilst working at home under COVID-19 lockdowns. For those with children, it meant juggling multiple roles at the same time: from trying to earn a living, to being an impromptu school teacher and also just being a parent.

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It can be incredibly hard to focus on important business when you remember that there’s equally important laundry and other household chores that need to be done at the same time. And having to break up an argument between the kids as well.

According to a recent survey completed by Boston Consulting Group, parents now spend an additional 27 hours each week on household chores, childcare, and education than before the pandemic. This can almost be equated to having a second job.

In the same research, they found that women spend on average 15 hours per week more than men on domestic labor. This works out at about over 2 hours extra per day.

People understood how she felt and agreed that it was important to send a message

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Although it was a difficult situation, it’s one that a lot of couples may encounter or have already had to contend with. For some advice on this situation, I turned to Nicole Schwarz—a family therapist, parent coach and founder of the Imperfect Families blog. Her upcoming book It Starts With You is available for pre-order and encourages us to explore how our history, thoughts, and assumptions impact our parenting decisions.

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Nicole told Bored Panda, “Rather than being silent about feelings, I would encourage moms to use an ‘I statement’, such as, ‘I feel overwhelmed at the end of the day when dinner needs to be prepared and both kids need help with their homework.'”

She continued, “Then, ask for what you need using specific language: ‘I need to focus on making dinner from 5-6 pm.’ After this, work towards a solution together. Criticizing, blaming, and pointing out the other person’s failures or flaws will not lead to a healthy, productive conversation.”

Others felt that although it was a difficult situation, it could have been handled better

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To tackle inequalities of responsibilities, it’s always best to discuss how you’re feeling with your partner and sometimes taking a stance. This is exactly what happened here. Another example of this, however, is learning how to say “no”.

Amy Morin, psychotherapist and editor-in-chief of ‘Verywell Mind’, said, “Sometimes, the more you do for people without complaining, the more they expect you to do. And they might forget to appreciate all you do for them.”

“So it may be helpful to say ‘no’ sometimes. This can remind people not to take it for granted that you’ll always be willing and available to pitch in,” she said.

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Innes M.

Innes M.

Writer, Community member

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Innes is a writer at Bored Panda. His work combines his passion for the weird and wonderful with helping others on their mission to learn. Outside of work, he loves exploring all kinds of music and will often listen to a new album every day.

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Innes M.

Innes M.

Writer, Community member

Innes is a writer at Bored Panda. His work combines his passion for the weird and wonderful with helping others on their mission to learn. Outside of work, he loves exploring all kinds of music and will often listen to a new album every day.

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

Read less »

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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Ozacoter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sick of people blaming women when their partners dont do s**t at home "for not communicating ". Like another reply said. We dont need anybody to tell us that the house needs to be cleaned, the dinner made, the laundry done and folded and the kids/pets taken care off. Why would a grown man need to be told all of that?

Nathan Pogorzala
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

very true. She did say he was doing his part but then stopped all of a sudden. He is sleeping all day and not talking. Sounds like the guy has a mental health issue and isn't disclosing it.

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Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not telling him where she was was a bad (even if she just texted him while he was at work and she was on the way to the cabin). Letting your partner worry about your safety is pretty bad. Having said that, dude is totally the asshole.

NsG
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It doesn't exactly add weight to her communication argument! That said - he heard, but wasn't really listening when she *did* communicate, so maybe leaving a note wouldn't have made a huge difference...? She should still have left one though.

Load More Replies...
Caro Caro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs a break and so he helped for a whole 30 minutes? WOW 30 minutes of his time ladies and gentlemen ! She is obviously NTA he is.

Load More Comments
Ozacoter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sick of people blaming women when their partners dont do s**t at home "for not communicating ". Like another reply said. We dont need anybody to tell us that the house needs to be cleaned, the dinner made, the laundry done and folded and the kids/pets taken care off. Why would a grown man need to be told all of that?

Nathan Pogorzala
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

very true. She did say he was doing his part but then stopped all of a sudden. He is sleeping all day and not talking. Sounds like the guy has a mental health issue and isn't disclosing it.

Load More Replies...
Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not telling him where she was was a bad (even if she just texted him while he was at work and she was on the way to the cabin). Letting your partner worry about your safety is pretty bad. Having said that, dude is totally the asshole.

NsG
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It doesn't exactly add weight to her communication argument! That said - he heard, but wasn't really listening when she *did* communicate, so maybe leaving a note wouldn't have made a huge difference...? She should still have left one though.

Load More Replies...
Caro Caro
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She needs a break and so he helped for a whole 30 minutes? WOW 30 minutes of his time ladies and gentlemen ! She is obviously NTA he is.

Load More Comments
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