The holidays can be extremely stressful, especially when paired with an intense period of time at work. And though it feels good to vent a bit about your troubles to your partner, family, and friends, you should never, ever allow this to morph into emotional abuse. Nobody should be your verbal punching bag just because life is hard. Nobody deserves to be raged at.

Believe it or not, glitter—yes, that sparkly stuff—can be used as a weapon in a relationship. Unfortunately, what follows isn’t a story that’s magical, airy, and lighthearted. And it might make some of you Pandas uncomfortable, so fair warning.

Redditor u/errandsandhousework opened up about how his wife’s temper has been getting “worse and worse lately” in a post on r/TrueOffMyChest. He shared how she keeps criticizing how he does the housework, no matter how well he does it. Things came to a head when she hid glitter underneath the coffeemaker to ‘prove’ that he isn’t thorough in how he cleans the kitchen. He moved the machine, got glitter everywhere, and it took a ton of time to clean everything up. His wife’s response was to yell at him for spilling the glitter.

Scroll down for the full story, in the OP’s own words. What advice would you give the author of the post, dear Pandas? Bored Panda has reached out to u/errandsandhousework via Reddit. We’ll update the article once we hear back from him.

Glitter might sound like something that’s always fun, but it’s anything but in this particular case

Image credits: Jordydex (not the actual photo)

A man shared how his wife keeps lashing out at him, and how she ended up hiding glitter underneath the coffeemaker. He spilled it while cleaning the kitchen

Image credits: Diva Plavalaguna (not the actual photo)

Image credits: errandsandhousework

The author of the post hopes that things will settle down once the stress at his wife’s workplace fizzles out after the holidays. Then, according to him, they can have a conversation about all of this. However, u/errandsandhousework feels like things will just get worse the closer we get to Christmas. Unsolicited advice isn’t something that we’d usually give, but it feels like they need to have that chat about what’s going on as soon as possible, instead of putting it off until later.

Many redditors were completely appalled by what they read. Some of them pointed out that the OP’s wife literally set him up to fail by hiding glitter underneath the coffeemaker. Others suggested that she was looking for reasons to be mad at him. All in all, it’s not an emotionally sound atmosphere at home.

There are a few approaches that people can take in similar situations. The first, probably the most uncomfortable but most mature, is sitting down and having a calm but honest conversation about what’s going on. You explain how you’re feeling to your partner when they do certain things. You establish certain boundaries. And if you ever get into a major argument, physical contact (think hugs and kisses) can help you make up.

Though it’s completely normal to have more flexible boundaries the closer you are to someone, it’s still vital to have a mutual understanding of what behavior is completely and utterly over the line. Being screamed at, for example, is something that most people wouldn’t be fine with. It’s the type of behavior that needs to stop. Immediately.

A second approach that you can go for is reaching out to a professional for help. Going to couples counseling or even heading to therapy solo can help you process your emotions. It’s important to understand that by asking for assistance, you are not showing weakness. Working through your problems, and taking actionable steps towards a better future for the sake of the entire family, is strength.

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The third option is to consider separation or divorce. You have to look at your partner’s track record: how long have they been yelling and screaming at you, criticizing every little thing that you do? Is this new behavior or is this something that repeats itself, constantly? In short, you have to identify if the actual root of the problem is solely the insane stress at work they’re under (and they simply can’t process it in a healthy way) or if they’re treating you badly because they feel like they can get away with it.

Bored Panda wrote earlier about how resentment can build up in relationships if couples don’t have honest conversations about practical, day-to-day issues. Such as dividing up the housework. If there’s no communication and transparency on that front, what you get are constant arguments that can eventually lead to the couple breaking up. In short, it’s best to solve the issue as soon as possible, instead of letting all of that stress and tension build up. Nobody’s a mind reader—you need to talk.

To state the obvious, there needs to be a fair distribution of housework between both partners. Nobody should feel like they’re being forced to do anything. Sometimes, there’s a need to rebalance things so both sides are happy. This might look slightly different for every couple: every relationship has unique circumstances. However, one thing doesn’t change—partners ought to treat each other with love and respect. And that means no screaming and gaslighting each other with glitter traps.

The internet rushed to support the author of the post and gave him advice on what to do next

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